ESRC Parenting Cultures Seminar Series Seminar 2: Gender and Parenting Culture: Intensive Fatherhood

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ESRC Parenting Cultures Seminar SeriesSeminar 2
Gender and Parenting Culture Intensive
Fatherhood?

• Contemporary Fatherhood Intensive or Intimate?
• Dr Esther DermottDepartment of Sociology

Cambridge, 3rd April 2009
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Disclosing Intimacy

• characterized by knowledge and understanding of
  inner selves. (Jamieson 20052411)

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Aspects of Intimacy

• Sexuality/Embodiment
• Reflexivity
• Fragility
• Equality
• Communication

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Emotional Openness

• When the kids came along it was just, I am a
  modern father, I want to be involved with my
  kids (Jack)
• He his father wasn't a fraction as involved
  with us as I have been with my children. He
  worked, he came home late from work, he went to
  sleep on the couch. (Jack)

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Emotional Openness

• I mean I saw with my father, he was sort of very
  dedicated to his family but quite distant as
  well. I think there is something in that
  generation that, well, somehow people werent
  quite so open as they are today in talking about
  their feelings.I would say that he was close to
  me, but not in the way of showing emotions or
  talking about things, or like necessarily being
  very open about things. And so, I suppose, I
  always aspired to try to be more open with my
  children. I mean Im not saying he was uninvolved
  or didnt care but I would have, well, I wanted
  to be really involved in what they do. (Gareth)

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Focussed Time

• It is important for me to make sure that I am
  there in the evening, so she has half an hour,
  45 minutes of time and I am there available for
  her to question if need be (Michael)
• Most evenings - which is very important to me, at
  their different bedtimes, having read them a
  story (or maybe Felicity wife will read them a
  story) is give them a cuddle and talk to them for
  five or ten minutes (William)

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Being There - Shared Events

• Obviously there are formal parents-teachers
  eveningsand Ive done my round of sports days
  and nativity plays and whatever (Hugh)
• I have already got down in my diary the dates of
  the school Christmas play and when I go somewhere
  and they say, let's sort out the date of the
  meeting, how about the 16th of December?, I say
  no, I am busy (Derek, interviewed in September)

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• I knew that it was unlikely that I would be
  around all day, but I knew that at the end of the
  day, I should put work behind me and should throw
  myself into whatever is left of the day for the
  children...given that I have a long journey home
  from work. (Greg)

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ESRC Parenting Cultures Seminar SeriesSeminar 2
Gender and Parenting Culture Intensive
Fatherhood?

• Contemporary Fatherhood Intensive or Intimate?
• Dr Esther DermottDepartment of Sociology

Cambridge, 3rd April 2009