The Spirit of Man: Voices from Mens Spirituality Groups

1
The Spirit of ManVoices from Mens Spirituality
Groups

• Saint Johns University
• Collegeville, Minnesota

2
What are Mens Spirituality Groups?

• Started in 1995 by Abbot John Klassen and a group
  of monastic members as an advisory group to the
  VP for Student Development
• We sought to understand what was unique about
  mens spirituality
• It began as a faith sharing technique pioneered
  by the Ecumenical Institute upon the
  recommendation of Fr. Rene Mcgraw
• The group met for a year to tell our stories

3
Mens Lives Series Event

• Monastic members presented their stories in the
  Mens Lives Series to the community
• It was decided that it was such a good experience
  that we should experiment with including students
  and replicate the group
• The first year we split up as mentors and formed
  two groups, the next year four, the next year six
  etc.

4
Fully Arrived

• When we reached groups in all four classes of
  first to senior year we had 18-20 groups
  involving about 200 students and 40 group mentors
• We were limited by the number of mentors we could
  develop both lay and monastic as new mentors
  served a year with an experienced facilitator
• This was important mission related professional
  development on Benedictine/Catholic values

5
Selection Process

• Symposium Faculty and Faculty Residents nominate
  new students each fall
• We invite those students to a dinner with an open
  call also going to all freshmen
• Current group members speak at the event
  explaining their experiences and recommending it
  as a good thing
• Students then sign up and are put into new groups

6
What do we do?

• Groups meet every two to three weeks each year at
  a pace set by the group
• Each member gets a chance at one meeting to tell
  his story (some of us recommend that it be
  written down)
• The rest of the group learns to listen with the
  open ear of their hearts and respond
• Confidentiality is essential

7
Sample Questions

• 1st Yr. What has been your experience of God or
  what co you say you believe in?
• 2nd Yr. Given what you believe, how does it
  effect your relationships (Dad, Family)?
• 3rd and 4th Yrs. Vocational Discernment
  Questions What is an authentic life? or
• What should I do with my life after college?
  (done in coordination with the Lilly Vocations
  Project)

8
Assessment

• Dr. Merle Longwood, Professor of Religious
  Studies, Siena College, NY and Dr. Mark Muesse,
  Associate Professor of Religious Studies, Rhodes
  College, TN are the authors of Redeeming Men
  Religion and Masculinities and have studied the
  groups for four years.
• Each year they interview participants and provide
  a report

9
2001 Observations about Self-Understanding as a
Man

• Students appreciate more fully what it means to
  be a man
• Discuss issues they would not otherwise
• More open and honest about some of the most
  important problems and issues
• Facilitators modeled how to communicate about
  these important matters
• Valuable to talk about topics deeper than
  sports or women and learning to listen
• Open to redefined masculinity and began viewing
  masculinity as a social construction

10
2001 Life and Relationships outside the Group

• Positive effect on their relationships
• More self-conscious of relationships, gaining
  insights from the group
• Understanding fathers better
• Parent and sibling relationships improved
• Relationships with friends improved
• Women appreciated this involvement and other
  Johnnies were often envious

11
2001 Sense of Spirituality

• Enthusiastic about being able to focus on
  spirituality which they sharply distinguished
  from religion
• Groups perceived as diverse and participants feel
  free to express their spirituality without
  judgment, even atheism
• Being comfortable with ones own spirituality
  leads to being comfortable with others
  spirituality
• Valued learning the spirituality of the monks

12
2001 Sense of Vocation, Mission, Purpose in Life

• 1st and 2nd Yr. students said the groups helped
  them to align their priorities
• Seniors emphasized life skills (listening without
  judgment, sharing, helping others) helped them to
  focus their lives
• One senior chose to volunteer to work with the
  homeless and help other men
• An ROTC graduate Can I kill someone?
• Seniors deeply satisfied with the groups

13
2002 Self-Understanding as a Man

• Appreciation to speak about what men do not
  usually speak about such as what it means to be a
  man in the world today
• Opening up issues about the male role fosters
  candidness and sensitivity thus helping to
  normalize intimacy
• Especially helpful that young men see that there
  are many ways to be a man
• Hence groups break the cultural gender binds that
  encourage men to believe that hegemonic
  masculinity is the only authentic form

14
2002 Life and Relationships outside the Group

• Consensus that the groups help improve
  relationships with others outside groups
• Improved relationships with family members
  notably fathers
• More comfortable talking with others individually
  and in groups
• Enhanced listening ability-empathetic listening

15
2002 Sense of Spirituality

• Sophomores better able to articulate than first
  year students
• Appreciation for the monks different perspective
  and unique insights
• Learning about the spirituality of others helped
  them learn about their own
• Amazed at the variety of spiritualities but most
  struck by the similarities
• Good to know others are serious about their faith

16
2002 Sense of Justice/Compassion

• This year a more pronounced interest in social
  justice concerns
• Debate between Mr Social Justice and Mr ROTC was
  valuable learning respect and dispelling
  stereotypes
• Coming out of one of the members allowed
  everyone to incorporate this self-disclosure as a
  means of coming to appreciate diversity of sexual
  orientations not as an abstract but as reality

17
2002 Vocation, Mission, Purpose

• Sophisticated understanding of the concept of
  vocation not just priesthood
• All viewed it as more than a job/career
• Lifes work, what makes you happy and benefits
  the world
• Everyones role in the world
• What God is calling you to do, it is more of a
  lifestyle than an occupation
• Embracing the universal call to holiness

18
Spirituality Groups Unique among College-Age men

• The founding of the groups on the basis of
  covenant and confidentiality created sacred time
  and sacred space
• Same sex groups have allowed the men to express
  their inner lives themselves rather than relying
  on women (young men often feel intimidated to do
  this and often see women as more competent to do
  this)
• Young men interpreting their spirituality more
  broadly including their relationships, sexuality,
  vulnerablity, fears and hopes
• Men use their own experiences as their texts
  rather than scripture, creeds, theological texts
  or teachings of instutional religion

19
Vocation Recommendations

• Vocation questions ought to be a part of the
  groups four year span
• Vocation questions need not be thematized, for
  example, What does it mean to live an authentic
  life? might work just as well
• What is important is that men in the groups
  engage in consideration of their callings,
  broadly conceived
• The junior year is the most appropriate time for
  vocationally oriented deliberations
• In the first and second years men are coming to a
  deeper understanding of their pasts and
  themselves
• By the junior year they are beginning to turn
  more toward the future and the wider world and
  vocation questions help them negotiate that turn