Should They Stay or Go A Counseling Psychologists Perspective

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Should They Stay or Go?A Counseling
Psychologists Perspective

• Linda R. Young, Ph.D.
• Lry5_at_columbia.edu

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Philosophical Tensions that Drive Divorce Debate

• Why Marry at all?
• Quest for happiness and consummate love
• Utilitarian arrangement that maximizes economic,
  political, social and religious power, and
  ensures transfer of these advantages to offspring
  
• Whats More Important? Self vs. Other orientation
• Good for me may contradict with good for you,
  good for community
• Do You Stay Due to Commitment or Constraints?

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Who Stays Married?

• Children of intact marriages
• Well-educated / Higher SES
• Older at time of marriage
• Shared sense of sacredness
• Share power (equitable vs equal)
• Good mental health - esp. emotion regulation
• Lower on risk-taking, sensation-seeking,
  narcissism, neuroticism
• Own home together
• Dearth of attractive alternatives
• Committed to marriage

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Trends in the Relationship Couples Counseling

• Highly-motivated husband beginning individual
  treatment after being blind-sided with divorce
• Spouse on brink of leaving because personal needs
  met by partner at time of marriage have shifted
• Internet and business travel increasing
  opportunities for sexual, emotional boundary
  crossing

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Couples Counseling Effectiveness - Mixed Reviews

• Most individual treatment helpful, most couples
  treatment unhelpful
• Consumer Reports (1986)
• Couples therapy can be very effective
• Overall mean effect size of 0.84 for couple
  therapy - average person receiving treatment for
  couple distress was better off at termination
  than were 80 of individuals in the no-treatment
  control group.
• Shadish Baldwin (2003)
• Mode of treatment and longitudinal research is
  important
• Focus on emotion regulation and bonding,
  improving empathy (3 divorced 4 yrs later)
• Cognitive-Behavioral (38 divorced 4 yrs later)
• Snyder et al, 1991

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Therapists Role

• Neutral
• Or
• Biased towards preserving relationship
• (When non-violent, non-addicted)

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Public Policy Recommendations

• 3rd Party Payment Parity for couples therapy
• In a study of 800 employee assistance program
  (EAP) clients, 65 rated family problems as
  considerable or extreme (Shumway et al. 2004)
• School-based relationship education
• Funding for research on costs in sick time, lost
  productivity dismissal associated with couple
  conflicts
• Better training for clinicians, educate consumers
  about professional titles credentials