Building Trust

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Building Trust

• Sue Bohlin
• Suebohlin.com

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Be TransparentBe Responsive Use CaringBe
Sincere Be Trustworthy
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What is Trust?

• My faith in your ability or word in some specific
  area
• Trust includes the degree to which I believe you
  will look out for my best interests in a specific
  area.
• Trust suggests that you care about my welfare and
  success in helping me achieve my goals.

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Principles about Trust

• Trust is never given to another person globally
  and unconditionally.
• It always has to do with a specific area of
  expertise or action.
• Trust involves both ability and word.
• You are capable in a particular area and true to
  your word.

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Principles about Trust

• Trust comes in different degrees or levels.
• Though trust can be one-sided, it is best when it
  is mutual.
• Trust can be built.
• Trust can grow or erode between people.
• Lost trust can be recovered and rehabilitated.

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Be Transparent

• Be easily readable
• Be open
• Be vulnerable
• 1. Be easily readable
• Your outsides match your insides
• Others can discern your emotional state

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Be Transparent

• 2. Be strategically open
• Your honest response to what others want or ask
  for
• What you need from others to make the task or
  project successful
• Your strengths and weaknesses in your ability to
  help others
• Openness begets openness
• Openness precedes trust

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Be Transparent

• 3. Be vulnerable
• Take a one-down position
• Request, dont demand
• The opposite of using power to get your way or
  manage others
• Power begets resistance vulnerability begets
  willingness

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Be Responsive

• Responsiveness giving and receiving feedback
• spontaneously
• consciously
• with care
• Welcome and respect honest feedback from others
• Offer the same to others

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Be Responsive

• Historically in the workplace, feedback the
  expectation of criticism, evaluation, judgment,
  and punishment
• More healthy theory the purpose of feedback is
  to help build a trusting relationship in working
  toward a shared goal

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Be Responsive

• Giving feedback My willingness and ability to
  respond to what you have said or done in a
  specific area, expressing thoughts and feelings
  that I personally own.
• Feedback formula My reaction to X is Y.
• X what you have said or done in a specific area
• Y my thoughts and feelings about it
• My responses are about your behavior, not aimed
  at you

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Be Responsive

• A Plan for Giving Feedback
• 1. Knock on the door.
• 2. Describe the specific action, event or
  behavior at issue.
• 3. Spell out its impact on you.
• 4. Specify the likely positive and negative
  consequences and make a request.
• 5. Get a firm agreement.
• 6. Share appreciation.
• Receive feedback graciously and non-defensively.

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Use Caring

• Essential leadership qualities competent,
  confident and caring.
• Caring about people and our relationships with
  them communicates that they are important.
• No matter what negative criticisms or strong
  emotion you bring to me, I will deal with it in a
  way that respects and protects you and our
  relationship.

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Use Caring

• When do people feel cared for?
• 5 unspoken requests
• Hear and understand me.
• Even if you disagree, please dont make me wrong.
• Acknowledge the greatness within me.
• Remember to look for my good intentions.
• Tell me the truth with compassion.

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Be Sincere

• Acting without deceit or pretense. Being genuine
  and straightforward in relationships. Matching
  your actions with your words.
• Congruence your thoughts and feelings match your
  words and actions.
• Building trust requires that you be sincere and
  congruent consistently so others can trust your
  word.

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Be Sincere

• Congruence is a character issue, not a technique
  to be taught.
• Bad habits and character flaws to address
• Gossiping
• Lying/fibbing/misleading
• Hiding our strong feelings

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Be Trustworthy

• Your word can be trusted.
• Giving your word in an agreement and being
  willing to accept the consequences of that
  agreement.

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Be Trustworthy

• You become loose with your word by making
• Agreements out of politeness
• Vague and ambiguous agreements
• Agreements you enter into with enthusiasm, forget
  and never bring up again
• Agreements you dont intend to keep and hope the
  other person will forget

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Be Trustworthy

• Honoring your word Working by Agreement
• 1. Make only those agreements you intend to keep.
• 2. Avoid making or accepting fuzzy agreements.
• 3. Give earliest notice when agreements must be
  broken.
• 4. Clean up broken agreements.