Different Views Toward Success Between American and Chinese People some observations and thoughts

1
Different Views Toward Success Between American
and Chinese People- some observations and
thoughts -

• ??
• Aug. 2004

2
People want to succeed this desire is designed
by God and etched into our gen without it, there
would have been no advance in human history and
we would still today live in the stone age this
desire of want to succeed is universal across
all races, cultures, and societies.However, as
a whole, the Americans (West) and the Chinese
(East) view differently on the meaning of being
successful.
3
Case 1 (Chinese)A Chinese
friend of mine (who was born and grew up in
China) went to USA to study and then has been
living there since. Several years ago he got a
job as a manager working in China for a major US
company. His wife (Sammy) gloated to their
friends there are over 20000 government
sponsored Chinese students who came to US in the
1980s, only 1 or less of them have a higher
position than my husbands.
4
Case 2 (China)I once went to
interview a student who was applying to our
university. He just completed his Chinas
national university entry exams last week. His
father (Lao Li) told me at the interview My
son is the No. 1 in the scores of the entry exams
among all the 110,000 college applicants in my
town.
5
Case 3 (Chinese)I know a
Chinese professor (Zhou) at an American
university, whose son (Andy) had lots of
hobbies and was very good at sports, but somehow
wasnt much interested in study. Only in his last
two years in highschool did Andy mature enough to
realize the importance of having a good GPA and
started to study hard. He eventually was admitted
by the University of Michigan which is a very,
very good university, and his parents were really
proud of him. However, when at a party he heard
that the son of one of his colleagues was
admitted by MIT, he became very dejected. When
back home, he scolded his son why could you
also go to MIT like my colleagues son?
6
Now, when put into similar situations, your and
my wife more or less would gloat the same as
Sammy did, you and I would brag the same as
Lao Li did, and you and I would scold our son
the same as Zhou did to his son. This is
because we all grow up in China and have been
soaked with our culture, with both its good and
not that good parts.So, what exactly do
Sammy, Lao Li, and Zhou share in common?
Look at those bold words in the three cases they
all indicate ?
7
Position and comparison among a
proximity of oneselfSuccessI am better in
doing something than the people I know, so
I am better than them. better ?
better
8
Now, I dont mean that in the West there are no
Sammy, Lao Li, or Zhou. But I think the
number of Sammy or Lao Li or Zhou is much
smaller than that among Chinese.
9
In our culture Doing something good is only a
means for obtaining the position and status in
ones proximity work unit, neighborhood, circle
of friends, or in a larger scale the society.As
a result, the true meaning of Doing something
good itself is completely lost. To see the
comparison, lets look at the following two
examples.
10
Case 4 (USA)I have an American
neighbor, Mr. Johnson. A few years ago (he was
already over 40) I ran into him in the morning
and greeted him Good morning, Mr. Johnson. He
replied to me with very seriousness and pride
Dr. Tang, you can also call me Dr. Johnson from
now on, as I just got my PhD in social science.
I could sense he was really proud of himself,
after putting so much effort, in terms of both
money and time, proud of himself for that he
finally succeeds in doing this. He did not
compare himself with other people he judges
himself based on how he worked hard on the study
and research which interested him. Now, if
this is in China, some people may very possibly
gossip behind his back What a fool! Whats so
proud of? My cousin got his PhD when he was only
26 and now he is already the head of his
department at Tsinghua.
11
Case 5 (USA)In the city of
Ann Arbor where I live, a highschool graduate
David got a very high score 1598 (total is
1600) in his SAT exam. The local newspaper
reported His score is extremely hard to get,
since mathematically a perfect score of 1600 is
almost impossible.The newspaper didnt compare
him with other people, but focused only on the
test itself i.e., it is a very difficult test
and David did very good in it.
12
If you look at cases 4 5, you see that the
emphasis on success is placed on succeed in
doing it itself, but not on doing it better
than other people.Now, there are certain
categories, such as sports, in which being
successful have to be measured by
comparing/competing one with another. But this
comparison is on the play itself, not on the
players A and B played a tennis match, A won
so A was a better tennis player on that day,
thats it, which doesnt mean whatsoever A is
superior to B in any other aspects.
13
Biggest victim of this doing it better than
other people attitude is the person itselfWe
have seen this too often in China a 7-year old
child studies very hard, gets up at 630 and goes
to bed at 2300, whole day packed with this
study, that activity, memorizing English words,
but only for the purpose of appeasing his parents
who can go to bed with a smile my son is better
than his classmates my son is No. 2 in his
class. What they dont realize is that their son
is actually suffering, not happy, and is missing
all the joys, beauty, and excitement he is
supposed to enjoy from studying itself.
14
I heard from a friend that in Singapore, even in
kindergarten, children in some classes are
classified into No. 1, No. 2, based on
their tests. They go to school to make friends,
to enjoy their innocent childhood, not to be
compared to each other and be taught of this ugly
maxim that some people are superior to other
people.
15
I read this from a newspaper some ??? from a
northern province in China visited France, when
he took the France Airline to flow back to China,
he became very angry because the flight
attendants treated him the same as all the other
passengers, but not as a ???. He cursed at the
attendants, took off his shoes and put feet on
the chairs in front of him, and made a big fuss.
Eventually he was arrested by the airport
security and was denied of that flight.His
problem and why he is suffering? He does not
realize that being successful in his job (if
only measured by his title) does not mean at all
he is special and different than other people.
16
When a person from USA visits China, he
encounters this phenomenon it seems every body
he meets is some kind of ? they cant wait to
show you their name cards ??,??,??,??,??,
everybody is ? and if you are not a ?, you
are not successful.
17
Victims of this better than other people
mind-set are also you and me and everyone
else.If a flight attendant has the same
attitude as that ???, then she will certainly
show less respect and smile less to you than to a
???. She perhaps will smile even more and bow
lower to a ?? than to a ???.
18
So, the question is, why this unhealthy trait is
so prevalent in our Chinese culture but not that
popular in USA or West? - 5000 years of feudal
system which etched this inequality among
people maxim deeply into our national
psyche - The ?? system and its negative
influence left behind
19
Europe (West) was similar to us before. Perhaps
we humans are really what Freud said of
egotistic, aggressive, and innately driven by
this pursuit of superiority. However, in the last
300 hundred years, particularly since the French
revolution, the ideas of liberty, equality, and
fraternity became widespread in the West.
20
A comparison The prime minister of Sweden
walks home from work. But in China, if you
are some ? or ?, you must be ????, must
have a beautiful and young secretary, not because
it is needed in your work, but because it shows
your position in the society.
21
So, what we go from here? Lets discuss.