Reaching Average Joes: Creating a big tent of male partners in sexual violence prevention

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Reaching Average Joes Creating a big tent of
male partners in sexual violence prevention

• WCSAP Training, May 2007
• Ross Wantland
• wantland_at_uiuc.edu
• [phone]

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• Just as our culture and society puts the thought
  of rape into the heads of boys and men, changes
  in the culture and society can make rape
  unthinkable. We need to have that hope.
• Andy Peck
• An article of faith from the beginning was that
  mens violence was learned. Abusive behavior
  didnt come with the plumbing. Thats what made
  it possible to even think about doing the work.
  If it was learned, it could be unlearned.
• - Men Overcoming Violence co-founder

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Objectives

• Define "male ally" and articulate the value of
  male allies in sexual violence prevention.
• Identify strategies for engaging male allies in
  sexual violence prevention efforts.
• Develop a greater understanding of selected
  existing male-focused sexual violence prevention
  initiatives.

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Qualities of Men We ?

• Strong sense of justice
• Caring
• Sensitive
• Protective
• Nurturing

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Defining Men

• Sex is the biological definition (genitalia,
  chromosomes, etc.)
• Gender is the way we define the act of being
  men or women, including
• Learned and promoted behaviors
• Power relations between men women
• Exaggerated or minimized physical or emotional
  attributes

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Acting Like a Man (Kivel, 1992)

• Men
• Yell at people
• Get good grades
• Dont cry
• Know about sex
• Dont back down
• Can take it
• Stand up for themselves
• Dont make mistakes
• Take care of people
• Push people around
• Have no emotions

• Men are
• Aggressive
• Responsible
• Mean
• Bullies
• Tough
• Angry
• Successful
• Strong
• In control
• Active
• Dominant over women other men

Sissy Geek Baby Gay Loser Fag
Nerd Raped
Wimp Mark Punk Girl Wuss Beat up Teased
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Tough Guise (Katz Jhally, 1999)

• Masculinity is a learned performance.
• This performance, in part, creates mens
  violence.
• Popular media culture reinforces dominant
  stories of masculinity.
• Marginalized groups have few, narrow
  representations.
• Images of vulnerable, caring, and equitable men
  needed to counter dominant stories.

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How should we relate to masculinity?

• Refuse it?
• Allows self-definition outside of gender binary
• May not be possible
• Alienates us from other men
• Redefine it?
• May help us work with men, ourselves
• May actively improve our lives, conditions
• May not allow us to challenge effectively

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Where do you work with men boys?

• Jr. high high school boys
• College men
• Community men
• Survivors
• Perpetrators
• Criminal justice medical professionals
• Other professionals

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When do we work with men?

• Advocacy
• Educational presentations
• Community planning
• Board members
• Community leaders

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Why is it important?

• Working with men/boys is a critical piece of
  primary prevention.
• Men are gatekeepers to structural power.
• We all stand to gain from working with men
  boys.
• Its about hope.

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Whats in it for men? (Connell, 2003)

• Better social relationships with all women
• Improved relationships with men
• Enriched by womens participation
• Improved fatherhood
• Better personal well-being
• Principle
• Collective interests
• Communities
• State/military violence

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How can we approach men in SV prevention
education?

• Men must be actively involved in their own
  education.
• Masculinity and gender socialization must be
  addressed.
• Space must be created for men to challenge sexism
  sexual violence, while also allowing them to
  heal.
• We must believe they would want to be allies.

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Qualities of a Male Ally

• Takes responsibility for learning about own and
  target group experience, and how oppression works
  in everyday life
• Listens to and respects the perspectives and
  experiences of women
• Acknowledges unearned privileges
• Recognizes that unlearning oppressive beliefs and
  actions is a lifelong process

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Qualities of a Male Ally (cont.)

• Acts against social injustice out of a belief
  that it is in his own self-interest
• Is willing to be confronted about own behavior
  and attitudes
• Is committed to taking action against social
  injustice in own sphere of influence
• Understands the connections among all forms of
  social injustice
• Knows how to cultivate support from men

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What do male allies do?

• What are some of the actions that male allies may
  undertake?
• What are some actions that are not the role of
  male allies?

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Oppression Organizing Men

• Most organizing with men is white, straight,
  middle-class men.
• May use terminology that excludes other men.
• Can re-create racist, sexist, homophobic
  structures (Hong, 2000)
• Must struggle to build genuine relationships
  among all men, especially across sexual
  orientation, class race lines.
• Involves broad definition and exploration of
  ally

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Women Cant Teach Men(Hong, 2004)

• Women have a number of strengths in working with
  men
• Can model emotional connection empathy
• Can teach men to be allies
• Skilled at being cooperative teachers, leaders
• To do this, we must
• Empower men to create solutions
• Overcome our emotional barriers to working with
  men
• Meet men where they are

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Community Engagement Continuum (Kim, 2005)

• Outreach Education
• Mobilization
• Organizing (General or Targeted)
• Accountability

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Reaching the Average Joe

• White Ribbon Campaign (Canada)
• Men of Strength Clubs (Men Can Stop Rape)
• Nicaraguan Men Against Violence (Welsh, 2001)
• Louisville Mens Organization (Funk)
• Fraternity Peer Rape Education Program, Urbana,
  IL (Wantland, in press)

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Nicaraguan Association of Men Against Violence
Suggestions(Welsh, 2001)

• Gender equality should be the ultimate goal.
• Men must take responsibility for creating change
  in themselves and other men.
• Men must view input from women and womens
  organizations as indispensable.

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Fraternity Peer Rape Education Program - UIUC

• Interested fraternity men trained to be peer
  educators on dating violence to their chapters
  (Mahlstedt, 1998)
• Minority influence model trained members
  influence their house from the inside-out
• Facilitated workshops, but also challenged
  attitudes relationships

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How can we engage average men?

• If you were to approach men in your community,
  what might that look like?
• Where else would we choose to engage men?
• What would you like to see happen in 1 year? 5
  years?

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Reminders

• Social change is slow, complex, and painful.
• We must meet men where theyre at
• Our job is to care, challenge, and reinforce the
  positive.
• Working with men and boys requires us to
  re-examine our work, focus on education true
  prevention.

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Useful Resources

• Hong, L. (2000) Toward a transformed approach to
  prevention Breaking the link between masculinity
  and violence. Journal of American College Health,
  48(6) 269-279.
• Kim, M. (2005). The Community Engagement
  Continuum Outreach, mobilization, organizing and
  accountability to address violence against women
  in Asian and Pacific Islander communities.
  www.apiahf.org
• Kivel, P. (1992). Mens Work How to stop the
  violence that tears our lives apart. Center City,
  MN Hazelden.
• Mahlstedt, D. (1998). Getting Started Setting-up
  a FVEP on your campus. West Chester, PA West
  Chester University.
• Peck, A. (2002). Hope, Sexual Violence
  Prevention, and Reaching the Hearts and Minds of
  Boys. www.menstoppingviolence.org
• Wantland, R. (In press). Our Brotherhood and your
  sister Building anti-rape community in the
  fraternity. Journal of Prevention and
  Intervention in the Community.
• Welsh, Patrick. (2001). Men arent from Mars
  Unlearning machismo in Nicaragua. London
  Catholic Institute for International Relations