This title will be Brilliant: and will draw people

1
This title will be Brilliant and will draw
people
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Authors and affilitiations
Background
More Methods
Our Brilliant Outcome Measures

• Here I will discuss all of the amazing facts that
  I have found in the myriad of articles I read and
  on which I have spilled coffee.
• You will believe everything that I say, whether
  you like it or not.
• I am the expert in everything I study

• Cure the Common Cold
• Lots of Kleenex
• Woman on Mars
• Lots of engineers
• Fix HVAC in McKinly
• Lots of luck

• Cure Common Cold
• How many days will people call in sick but go to
  a movie instead
• Woman on Mars
• Buy a really HUGE telescope that costs a fortune
  and well look for her
• Fix HVAC
• When we throw away the beeper number of the HVAC
  guys, we will have succeeded.

Purpose
Our purpose was to find the treatment of the
common cold, put a woman on Mars, and find a way
to heat the 3rd floor of McKinly Lab while still
cooling the basement.
Conclusion

• We are the smartest and most humble people on the
  plant, and Mars
• We like to spend lots of money to look at the
  stars
• We have thrown away the beeper number of the HVAC
  guys

Methods
Subjects 1 million patients (500,000 female,
500,000 male) were seen for a medical test of
cold symptoms over winter season. Subjects were
excluded only if they had children under the age
of 3 who were in day care as one could never
determine if their cold was cured or if they just
got successive colds Women with nerves of steel
were recruited for the mission to Mars Tara Manal
was used as the gold standard for hand warmth
measures in McKinly Lab
Quadriceps Strength Test Setup - Isometric
contraction at 90 of knee flexion with burst
superimposition.

• References
• Blah, blah, blah, Science. 2003 Jul
  4301(5629)102-5.
• Blah, blah, blah, Chaos. 1998 Sep8(3)616-620.
• Blad de blah, blah, blah, Nature. 2003 Apr
  10422(6932)633-7.

Single Hop
Cross Over Hop
Triple Hop
Timed 6m Hop
Funding provided by NIH T32 HD9990 and NIH R01
HD3333