Everyone Communicates Few Connect

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Everyone CommunicatesFew Connect

• John C. Maxwell

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10 Principles for Connecting with Others
Goes Beyond Words
Others Focused
Requires Energy
Influences Situations
Requires Skills
Common Ground
Leads by Example
Keep it Simple
Inspires
Create Enjoyable Experience
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• 1. Connecting increase your influence in EVERY
  situation!

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Key Concept

• The smaller the group, the more important it is
  to connect.

Audience Connections
One-to-One Connections
Group Connections
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One-to-One Connections

• 80 to 90 percent of connections are on this
  level.
• Talk more about the other person than yourself.
• Bring something of value to give to someone when
  you get together.
• At the end of a conversation, ask what you can do
  to help them and follow through. Acts of
  servanthood have a greater impact and last longer
  than words.

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Group Connections

• Look for ways to compliment people in the group
  for their ideas and actions.
• Look for ways to add value to people in the group
  and what they are doing.
• Dont take credit when the group succeeds and
  dont cast blame when it fails.
• Find ways to help the group celebrate successes
  together.

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Audience Connections

• Let your listeners know that you are excited to
  be with them.
• Communicate that you desire to add value to them.
• Let them know how they or their organization add
  value to you.
• Tell them that your time with them is your
  highest priority that day.

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• 2. Connecting is all about OTHERS!

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Key Concept
Connecting begins when the other person feels
valued.
Audience Applications
Group Applications
One-to-One Applications
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One-to-One Connections

• Know what they value by being a good listener.
• Find out why they value those things by asking
  questions.
• Share your own values that are similar to theirs.
• Build your relationship on those common values.

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Group Connections

• Discover and identify the strength of each
  person.
• Acknowledge the value of each persons strength
  and potential contribution.
• Invite input and allow people to lead in their
  area of strength.

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Audience Connections

• Express your appreciation for them and the
  occasion as soon as possible.
• Do something special for them, if you can, by
  preparing unique content for them and letting
  them know you have done so.
• See everyone in the audience as a 10, expecting
  a great response from them.

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• 3. Connecting goes beyond words!

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Key Concept

• The more you do to go beyond words, the greater
  the chance you will connect with people.

One-to-One Applications
Group Applications
Audience Applications
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One-to-One Connections

• Connect visually by giving the other person your
  complete attention. See the other persons heart
  and show them yours.
• Connect intellectually by asking questions,
  listening carefully, and also paying attention to
  what isnt being said.
• Connect emotionally through appropriate touch (be
  sure to honor boundaries).

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Group Connections

• Connect visually by setting the example.
• Connect intellectually by investing in peoples
  growth.
• Build on what they understand so they can develop
  to a higher level.
• Connect emotionally by honoring the groups
  effort and rewarding its work.

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Audience Connections

• Connect visually by smiling.
• Let people know you are happy to be communicating
  with them.
• Connect intellectually by pausing periodically to
  give the audience time to think about something
  youve said.
• Connect emotionally through facial expressions,
  laughter, and tears.

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• 4. Connecting always requires energy!

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Key Concept

• The larger the group, the more energy thats
  required to connect.

Group Connections
Audience Applications
One-to-One Applications
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One-to-One Connections

• Write down significant things that happen to you
  during the day.
• For important things, share the specifics with no
  one else before you share with that person.
• Take time each day to go over your lists with
  each other, which requires being intentional and
  energy.

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Group Connections

• Introduce yourself to each person before the
  session begins.
• Discover something unique about each person.
• Give the group ownership over the meeting.
• Try to serve the group.
• Draw people into the discussion by telling other
  about their uniqueness and how it relates to the
  subject.
• Find out how you can help them be successful.

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Audience Connections

• The larger the crowd, the more energy you should
  have.
• The audience it there to receive and not give
  energy.
• Be confident, passionate, prepared and positive
  and you will bring energy to the audience.

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• 5. Connecting is more skill than natural talent!

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Key Concepts

• The skills learned at one level can be used to
  start connecting at the next level.

Audience Applications
One-to-One Applications
Group Connections
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One-to-One Connections

• Have interest in the person.
• Place value on that person.
• Give his or her interest priority.
• Express gratitude to and for that person.

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Group Connections

• Show interest in each person of the group by
  asking them questions.
• Place value on each person of the group and point
  out that value to the others.
• Make it your goal to add value to everyone in the
  group.
• Let others in the group know your intentions.
• Express your gratitude to each person publicly.

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Audience Connections

• Show interest in the audience by meeting them
  before you speak, when possible.
• Let people know that you value them by preparing
  the session especially for them.
• Let the people know you are there to serve them.
• Express gratitude to them and thank them for
  their time.

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• 6. Connectors connect on common ground!

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Key Concepts

• Know the reasons you and your listener(s) want to
  communicate and build a bridge between those
  reasons.

Audience Applications
One-to-One Applications
Group Connections
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One-to-One Connections

• Finding common ground is knowing how to make the
  interactions beneficial for both of you.
• Ask questions to discover common ground.
• Share stories, emotions, and offer lessons
  learned from experience to build bridges to
  common ground.
• Do something together that you both enjoy.

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Group Connections

• Ask yourself, what brought us together?
• Ask yourself, what is the goal that we all
  have?
• Acknowledge everyones differences and their
  ability to contribute to the common goal by using
  their unique skills.
• Remind the group that the goal is more important
  that each individual role.

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Audience Connections

• Use the feel, felt, found, find method.
• Feel- try to sense what the audience feels and
  acknowledge and validate those feelings.
• Felt- share with them that you have felt the same
  way.
• Found- share with them what you found that has
  helped you.
• Find- offer to help them find help for their
  lives.

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• 7. Connectors do the difficult work of keeping
  it simple!

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Key Concept

• The larger the group, the simpler the
  communication needs to be.

Audience Applications
Group Connections
One-to-One Applications
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One-to-One Connections

• Read the persons expression to see if you have
  communicated clearly.
• Answer any questions the person may have.
• You have a better chance of communicating when
  the person understands what you are saying.

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Group Connections

• Ask for feedback.
• Ask people in the group to share what they have
  learned.
• Ask the group to tell how they are going to pass
  what youve said to others.

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Audience Connections

• Ask yourself, what are the essentials to
  communicate for people to understand and how
  few of those points will make the event
  memorable?
• Share your vision with a single person to see how
  well they respond then share it will a small
  group and receive input from them.

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• 8. Connectors create an experience everyone
  enjoys!

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Key Concept

• Work to create the right experience for your
  communication setting.

Audience Applications
Group Connections
One-to-One Applications
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One-to-One Connections

• Honest communication creates a connection that
  benefits both parties.
• Work to create an enjoyable experience by asking
  questions, using humor, or telling stories.

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Group Connections

• If you help people have a sense of shared
  accomplishment, the participants will feel
  connected to each other.
• Ask the group to accomplish an enjoyable task
  together.
• Make sure everyone gets involved.

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Audience Connections

• Audiences want to be entertained.
• Use stories during the presentation.
• During your story, show enthusiasm, animation,
  spontaneity, humor, and allow audience to
  participate.

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• 9. Connectors inspire people!

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Key Concepts

• What people remember most is how you make them
  feel.

Audience Applications
One-to-One Applications
Group Connections
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One-to-One Connections

• Character is what will make the biggest
  impression on people.
• Qualities that help people feel connected
• A heart to serve
• A person of good values
• A helping hand
• A caring spirit
• A believing attitude

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Group Connections

• People want to know
• That you will lead by example.
• That you will only ask them to do what you have
  done or are willing to do.
• That you will teach them to do what you have
  done.
• That their success is more important to you than
  your success.
• That they will get credit for their
  accomplishments.
• That you will celebrate their successes.

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Audience Connections

• If the audience feels good, they feel connected.
• Connect on an emotional level by
• Show that you want to and are enjoying being
  there.
• Show that you are friendly.
• Show that you are authentic and vulnerable and
  not perfect.
• Show that you are conversing with them.
• Show that you believe in them and they can
  believe in themselves.

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• 10. Connectors live what they communicate!

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Key Concept

• The only way to keep connecting with people is to
  live what you communicate.

Audience Applications
Group Connections
One-to-One Applications
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One-to-One Connections

• More than 90 of communications occurs on this
  level.
• Ask yourself
• Does my character emphasize what I say or
  undermine it?
• Does my character help me keep and follow through
  on my promises or work against me?
• Where do I need to improve?

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Group Connections

• People in your group are watching your example,
  performance, and teamwork.
• Ask yourself
• Am I doing what I ask others to do?
• Can people depend on my performance and
  willingness to put the team first?
• Make necessary changes to improve your
  credibility.

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Audience Connections

• Create authenticity in your communication.
• Be vulnerable and let people know the real you.

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Thought

• Connecting with others is the ability to identify
  with people and relate to them in a way that
  increases your influence with them.

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• The ability to connect with others begins with
  understanding the value of people.
• You attitude often speaks louder than words.
• The greatest problem in communication is the
  illusion that is has been accomplished.

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• Intentionally include others in your best
  experiences and favorite things, you would become
  a much better connector overnight.