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Pastoral Care

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Pastoral Care An Introduction Hearing vs. Listening Was I paying attention? Hearing vs. Listening Do you think there is a difference between hearing and listening? – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Pastoral Care


1
Pastoral Care
  • An Introduction

2
Why is Pastoral Care Important?
  • What is your understanding of pastoral care?
  • Most rewarding part of providing pastoral care?
  • Most challenging part of providing pastoral care?

3
What is Pastoral Care?
  • Pastoral care is the ministry of care and
    counseling provided by pastors, chaplains, and
    other religious leaders to members of their
    church, congregation or persons within a
    faith-based institution. This can range anywhere
    from home visitation to formal counseling
    provided by pastors who are licensed to offer
    counseling services. This is also frequently
    referred to as spiritual care.

4
  • 'Pastoral care' is also a term applied where
    people offer help and caring to others in their
    church or wider community. Pastoral care in this
    sense can be applied to listening, supporting,
    encouraging and befriending.

5
Counseling What Is It?
  • Assisting people to change or to cope with change
    that has occurred

6
Who Needs Counseling?
  • Everyone! Including the pastor/counselor.
  • Three reasons
  • (1) Creation - because we are human need
    truth outside ourselves
  • (2) Fall
  • (3) Redemption the heart is deceitful, sinful

7
Counseling Faith Working Through Love
  • A relationship of trusted motive prevails only
    when you as a Christian pastor voluntarily accept
    and effectively carry through with your power as
    a representative of the love of Christ. You are
    a servant of people for Jesus sake. The
    effectiveness of all pastoral procedures depends
    upon the singleness of this motivation, . . .
    (Oates, The Christian Pastor, 78)

8
  • Every knowledge of the human heart, every skill
    in dealing with human problems, is as dangerous
    as it is useful, and ordinarily it is the
    presence or absence of the love of Christ that
    makes the difference.
  • Wayne E. Oates, The Christian Pastor, 3rd ed,
    rev. (Philadelphia Westminster, 1982), 81.

9
Effectiveness in Counseling
  • The basic characteristics of a helping
    relationship are
  • accurate empathy
  • nonpossessive warmth
  • A real interest in the person, a sincere concern
    for him or her an outgoing positive action
    involving active, personal participation
  • inherent genuineness

10
Effectiveness as a Counselor
  • Character Qualities
  • Humility
  • accurate self-assessment, flexibility of spirit
  • Love
  • encouragement hope, servant attitude
  • Faithfulness
  • dependability, discipline
  • Spiritual Maturity
  • personal holiness, Biblical/theological wisdom

11
Effectiveness as a Counselor
  • Functional Qualities
  • Building relationships
  • gentleness, kindness, sensitive, peacemaking
  • Understanding the counselees environment
  • data gathering, uncovering heart issues
  • Communicating
  • listening, other-centeredness, clarity presenting
    gospel
  • Planning Action
  • application, oversight/accountability,
    encouragement/admonition

12
Context for Effective Counseling
  • Safe environment - safe, holding environment
  • Comfortable - lighting air furniture tissues
  • Confidentiality
  • Non-distracting
  • Furniture Arrangement - extra chairs couch
  • Forms Record-keeping
  • Lending Library
  • Referral Network in place

13
9 Things To Remember About The Counselee
  • Acknowledge hurdles many overcame just to contact
    you for help (self-image issues)
  • Recognize risks exposure (vulnerability)
  • Each seeks, needs, a place of security safety
  • Recognize that some, if not most, do not want to
    be there
  • Be aware of the tension between request for help
    refusal of it

14
  • Each comes with ideas, assumptions,
    expectations that need to be explored (pastor as
    mind-reader, fix-it person, condoner of sin,
    etc.)
  • The 1-to-1 relationship and total privacy may
    stir up intense and disturbing fantasy
    perception formations
  • Gender issues warrant consideration
  • Clear boundaries are essential. The counselor
    bears final responsibility for establishing,
    maintaining, rectifying appropriate boundaries.

15
Assessment in Counseling with Adults
  • Basic anxiety neuroses (disorder in how one
    thinks about oneself and ones life)
  • Depression
  • Psychotic (inability to distinguish reality from
    fantasy impaired reality testing)
  • Neurological (organic mental disorder, mental
    retardation Alzheimer's etc.)

16
Assessment
  • Spiritual the heart
  • Psychological (mental, emotional, social)
  • Medical
  • Combination of the above

17
Assessment
  • Distinguish between
  • CONTENT
  • PROCESS

18
Assessment
  • CONTENT laundry list of items or
    complaints
  • PROCESS the dynamics of the major
    issues the source of the laundry list
  • Need to focus on both especially process.

19
The Phases of Counseling
  • Beginning
  • Middle
  • Ending

20
The Phases of Counseling 2
  • Beginning joining establishing rapport
    assessment
  • Practice how you begin!!
  • Middle changing ebb flow of progress
  • Ending consolidating changes blessing
    termination

21
Assessment The Magic ???s
  • These questions are magic in the sense that
    they provide focus and perspective on almost any
    situation, enabling one to know at least
    something about how to deal with it.
  • John Patton, Pastoral Counseling A Ministry of
    the Church. Nashville Abingdon, 1983, 90.
  • Question 1 - What are you looking for?
  • Focus communicates its their responsibility
  • Perspective helps identify their needs

22
Assessment The Magic ???s 2
  • Question 2 - Why now?
  • Focus identifies the urgency
  • Perspective sense of hopefulness/possibility
  • Things have changed and, thus, can change again

23
Assessment The Magic ???s
  • Question 3 - Why me and this place?
  • Focus acknowledges the importance of the
    relationship
  • Perspective identifies unrealistic expectations

24
Assessment The Magic ???s
  • Question 4 - What hurts?
  • Focus the persons problem or concern
  • Perspective listening stance

25
How You Begin May Determine the Outcome
26
Supportive Counseling
  • The sustaining function of the cure of souls in
    our day continues to be a crucially important
    helping ministry . . . .
  • William A Clebsch Charles R. Jaekle, Pastoral
    Care in Historical Perspective (Englewood Cliffs,
    NJ Prentice-Hall, 1964), 80, emphasis added.

27
Supportive Counseling
  • In supportive care and counseling, the pastor
    uses methods that stabilize, undergird, nurture,
    motivate, or guide troubled personsenabling them
    to handle their problems and relationships more
    constructively . . . .
  • Howard Clinebell, Basic Types, rev. ed.
    (Nashville, TN Abingdon, 1984), 170.

28
Supportive Counseling
  • Supportive counseling is the primary approach
    used in crisis intervention and in bereavement
    (grief) counseling.
  • A dependable, nurturing relationship (Oates
    relationship of trusted motive) is at the heart
    of the process.
  • Danger development of unconstructive
    dependency

29
Supportive Counseling
  • Types of counselor responses/interventions
  • Evaluative - judgment of behaviors, actions,
    attitudes
  • Interpretive - informing teaching
  • Supportive - reassurance to reduce anxiety
  • Probing - gather more data questions
  • Understanding - communicate empathy reassurance
  • Advising - recommendations suggestions

30
Transference Dont I Know You??
  • Transference the phenomenon of reacting to a
    person as if he/she is another person from ones
    past. A distorted and inappropriate response
    derived from unresolved unconscious conflicts in
    a persons past.
  • (See Richard S. Schwartz, A Psychiatrists View
    of Transference Countertransference in the
    Pastoral Relationship in Journal of Pastoral
    Care 43 (1), Spring 1989, 41-42.)

31
Transference Countertransference
  • Transference refers to thoughts, feelings,
    attitudes, behaviors of the counselee toward
    the counselor or of the parishioner toward the
    pastor.
  • Countertransference refers to the same process in
    reverse the pastors thoughts, feelings, etc.
    toward the parishioner.

32
Triangulation
  • Three people stuck in repetitive, malicious
    patterns of interaction.
  • Common triangles encountered in ministry
    couples, parents children, church group
    conflict, issues, etc.

33
Never Underestimate the Effectiveness of . . .
  • the Ministry of Listening

34
Hearing vs. Listening
  • Was I paying attention?

35
Hearing vs. Listening
  • Do you think there is a difference between
    hearing and listening?
  • You are right, there is!
  • Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound by
    the ear. If you are not hearing-impaired, hearing
    simply happens.
  • Listening, however, is something you consciously
    choose to do. Listening requires concentration so
    that your brain processes meaning from words and
    sentences. Listening leads to learning.

36
Most people tend to be "hard of listening" rather
than "hard of hearing."
37
Hearing or Listening
Ear
Eyes
Undivided Attention
Heart
38
Listening
  • . . . is intermittent.
  • . . . is a learned skill.
  • . . . is active.
  • . . . implies using the message received.

39
The Process of Listening
40
Obstacles to Effective Listening
  • Physical distractions
  • Psychological distractions
  • Factual distractions
  • Semantic distractions

41
Promoting Better Listening
  • Desire to listen.
  • Focus on the message.
  • Listen for main ideas.
  • Understand the speakers point of view.

42
Promoting Better Listening cont.
  • Withhold judgment.
  • Reinforce the message.
  • Provide feedback.
  • Listen with the body.
  • Listen critically.

43
Types of Listening
  • Active vs. Passive
  • Positive vs. Negative
  • What Kind is it?
  • Appreciative
  • Empathic
  • Discriminative
  • Analytical

44
What is Interactive Listening?
  • Cultivated skill involving the goal-oriented
    active, positive process of receiving and
    attending to aural stimuli
  • Conscious elimination of perceptual barriers

45
Improving Your Listening Skills
  • Identify Objectives
  • Know Your Listening Habits
  • Generate Motivation and Energy
  • Eliminate Distractions
  • Ask questions
  • Closed
  • Open
  • Probing
  • Evaluate Your Progress

46
Effective Listening
  • Effective listening requires an understanding
    that it is not just the speaker's responsibility
    to make sure he/she is understood.
  • The listener has a major role to play in hearing
    the complete message.
  • The following ideas will assist the listener in
    understanding the message.

47
Ten Commandments of Effective Listening
  • Stop talking! You cannot listen when you are
    talking. You will only be thinking about what you
    are going to say next instead of paying attention
    to what the other person is trying to say.
    Consciously focus your attention on the speaker.
  • Put the speaker at ease Relax, smile, look at
    the speaker and help that person feel free to
    talk. Look and act interested. Remove
    distractions turn off the TV close the door
    stop what you are doing, and pay attention.
  • Pay attention to the nonverbal language of
    physical gestures, facial expressions, tone of
    voice, and body posture. An authority on
    nonverbal language says that 55 percent of the
    message meaning is nonverbal, 38 percent is
    indicated by tone of voice, and only 7 percent is
    conveyed by the words used in a spoken message.
    Few people know how to listen to the eyes what a
    tapping foot means a furrowed brow clenched
    fist the biting of nails. These often reveal the
    key feelings behind the words.
  • Listen for what is not said. Ask questions to
    clarify the meaning of words and the feelings
    involved, or ask the speaker to enlarge on the
    statement. People often find it difficult to
    speak up about matters or experiences that are
    very important or highly emotional for them.
    Listen for how the speaker presents the message.
    What people hesitate to say is often the most
    critical point.

48
  • Know exactly what the other person is saying.
    Reflect back what the other person has said in a
    "shared meaning" experience so you completely
    understand the meaning and content of the message
    before you reply to it. A good listener does not
    assume they understand the other person. You, as
    the listener, should not express your views until
    you have summarized the speaker's message to his
    satisfaction.
  • Be aware of "tune out" words. These are words
    which appear in the media that strike an
    emotional chord in the listener and interferes
    with attentive listening (e.g. abortion, nuclear
    war, communism, homosexuality). Avoid arguing
    mentally. Listen to understand, not to oppose.

49
  • Concentrate on "hidden" emotional meanings. What
    are the real feelings behind the words? What is
    the tone of voice saying? What does the emphasis
    on certain words mean?
  • Be patient. Don't interrupt the speaker. This is
    disrespectful and suggests you want to talk
    instead of listen. Allow plenty of time for the
    speaker to convey ideas and meaning. Be courteous
    and give the speaker adequate time to present the
    full message.

50
  • Hold your temper! Try to keep your own emotions
    from interfering with your listening efficiency.
    When emotions are high, there is a tendency to
    tune out the speaker, become defensive, or want
    to give advice. You don't have to agree to be a
    good listener. Don't argue! Even if you win, you
    lose.
  • Empathize with the speaker. Try to "walk in the
    other's moccasins" so you can feel what that
    person is feeling and understand the point of
    view the speaker is trying to convey.

51
Final thoughts? Questions?
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