The Perfect Paragraph

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The Perfect Paragraph

• Or How to build a big, fat, juicy, mouthwatering,
  irresistible cheeseburger!

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The Perfect Paragraph

• What are the ingredients of a big, fat, juicy,
  mouthwatering, irresistible cheeseburger?

• Top Bun
• Lettuce
• Tomato
• Cheese
• Meat
• Ketchup

• Mustard
• Pickles
• Mayonnaise
• Onion
• Bottom Bun

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Saying that a paragraph is just like a big fat
juicy mouthwatering irresistible cheeseburger is
called a simile. A simile is when you compare
two unalike things using the word like or as.
Can you think of reasons why I would want you
think of a paragraph as a cheeseburger?
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Mmmm. Look at those buns!

• You wouldnt want a cheeseburger without a top
  and bottom bun. They hold all the juicy goodness
  inside.

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Lets start with the top bun and work our way
down

• The top bun of cheeseburger is like the topic
  sentence of a paragraph.
• Imagine eating a cheeseburger without a top bun.
  Its messy and confusing. The mayonnaise and
  mustard would ooze between your fingers. It
  just. wrong.!

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A paragraph without a topic is like

• Going on vacation without directions
• An orchestra without a conductor
• Can you think of more analogies?

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Whats missing?
He collects books that were written over a
hundred years ago, but he is also interested in
the best sellers of today. I counted over 400
books in his office library! His favorite books
are about knights and dragons.
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Whats missing?

• The most beautiful flower is the rose because it
  comes in so many different colors. Another
  beautiful flower is the daisy which sometimes
  grows wild. Spring flowers like tulips,
  daffodils, and crocuses are also very pretty.

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Whats missing?

• First, Canada has an excellent health care
  system. All Canadians have access to medical
  services at a reasonable price. Second, Canada
  has a high standard of education. Finally,
  Canadas cities are clean and efficiently
  managed.

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He collects books that were written over a
hundred years ago, but he is also interested in
the best sellers of today. I counted over 400
books in his office library! His favorite books
are about knights and dragons.

• Which of the following topic sentences is the
  best one for the above paragraph?
• A. Reading is fun.
• B. Books are my fathers hobby.
• C. My father was a main influence in my life.

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The most beautiful flower is the rose because it
comes in so many different colors. Another
beautiful flower is the daisy which sometimes
grows wild. Spring flowers like tulips,
daffodils, and crocuses are also very pretty.

• Which of the following topic sentences is the
  best one for the above paragraph?
• A. Dont you just love spring?
• B. The rose is the most loved flower the world
  over.
• C. There are many lovely flowers to consider for
  your garden.

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First, Canada has an excellent health care
system. All Canadians have access to medical
services at a reasonable price. Second, Canada
has a high standard of education. Finally,
Canadas cities are clean and efficiently managed

• A. Canada is our friendly neighbor to the north.
• B. There are three reasons why Canada is one of
  the best countries of the world.
• C. Choose Canada as a great place to vacation.

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The Support Sentences
Support Sentences give more details about your
topic. This is what makes your paragraph really,
really interesting, or informative, or
persuasive. In 7th grade formal writing, you
should have 3, 4, or 5 support sentences.
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Lets review topic and support sentences

• Topic Books are my fathers hobby.
• Support 1 He collects books that were written
  over a hundred years ago, but he is also
  interested in the best sellers of today.
• Support 2 I counted over 400 books in his
  office library!
• Support 3 His favorite books are about knights
  and dragons.

We still dont have a bottom Bun!
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Condiments are Critical!

• Condiments are like the descriptive adjectives
  and adverbs, action verbs, and precise nouns.
  They really give your writing FLAVOR!

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We cant forget to sprinkle our juicy burger with
the right amount of conventions.

• When you dont add salt and pepper to the
  hamburger, it taste a little off you get the
  sense that something is missing!
• Conventions are things like spelling and correct
  grammar. No matter how great your ideas are,
  youve got to add correct conventions to your
  paragraph or your reader will know right away
  that somethings wrong with your paragraph.

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So far, so good, but were not done yet.

• Its time to wrap this baby up, so lets bring on
  the bottom bun.
• What do you think the bottom bun represents in
  our paragraph?

The Concluding Sentence
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Books are my fathers hobby. He collects books
that were written over a hundred years ago, but
he is also interested in the best sellers of
today. I counted over 400 books in his office
library! His favorite books are about knights
and dragons.

• Which of the following concluding sentences is
  the best one for the above paragraph?
• A. If I ever need to get him a present, I know I
  can always please him by buying him a book
• B. Now that I think about it, my father has way
  too many books.
• C. My father is such a nerd.

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DELICIOUS!

• Books are my fathers hobby. He collects
  books that were written over a hundred years ago,
  but he is also interested in the best sellers of
  today. I counted over 400 books in his office
  library! His favorite books are about brave
  knights and fierce dragons. If I ever need to
  get him a present, I know I can always please him
  by buying him a great book.

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Sometimes when one sets out to fix a juicy burger
for someone,,,, things can go horribly, terribly
wrong
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Whats wrong with this paragraph?
Way, way too many details and sentences for this
one paragraph.
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Whats wrong with this paragraph?
This writer did not have complete thoughts or
fully developed sentences.
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Whats wrong with this paragraph?
This writer was very sloppy. She just wrote
anything and turned it in without editing. Yuck!
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Whats wrong with this paragraph?
There are not enough support sentences and not
enough details for this one paragraph.
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When things go wrong

• Books are my fathers hobby. He
  collects books that were written over a hundred
  years ago, but he is also interested in the best
  sellers of today. I counted over 400 books in his
  office library! He collects stuffed pigs too.
  His favorite books are about knights and dragons.
  If I ever need to get him a present, I know I
  can always please him by buying him a book.

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You wouldnt eat this would you?

• Be really careful not to include details in your
  paragraphs that do not belong!

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Its time to practice!

• I have a list of topics I will pass out to you.
• First, You will choose the topic you want to
  write about.
• Second, you will use a hamburger graphic
  organizer for step one of the writing process.
• Third, you will write your first draft
• Fourth, you will revise your paragraph using the
  Have you included? handout.
• Fifth, you will edit using a conventions
  checklist.
• Lastly, you will write your final draft and
  publish it by presenting your paragraph to the
  class.

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Created by

• Eva J. Miano 7th grade language arts
• Floyd Middle School
• 7-8-09