Aidan Millar, BA MSc

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Conflict Webinar Using type to navigate conflict
Cant we all just get Along?

• Aidan Millar, BA MSc
• Talent Development and Performance Consultant
• Psychometrics Canada
• amillar_at_psychometrics.com
• 1-800-661-5158 ext 224

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Aidan Millar, BA MScPerformance and Talent
Development Consultant MBTI Certified
Practitioner and Certification FacilitatorType
Preferences ESFJ
Dan CostiganMarketing Communications
Manager Type Preferences ISTJ
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• Agenda

• Defining Conflict
• Using Type to explore differences how we
  perceive conflict, how we handle conflict, what
  we need
• A Team Model for Better Resolution

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When I say the word conflict
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Perhaps.

• Frustration

Challenge
Argument
Difficult
Disagreement
Stress
Toxic
Anger
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But also

• Opportunity

Potential
Collaboration
Change
Solutions
Cooperation
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What is Conflict

• Definition Any situation in which the desires,
  needs or wishes of one party differ from another.
• Neutral, inevitable, can impede or promote growth
• It is the outcomes of conflict that make it
  positive or negative
• How we perceive, interpret and react to conflict
  can be influenced by our personality
  (preferences)

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• Our preferences impact

• Our interpretation of possible conflict
• How we naturally react to conflict
• What we need from others to reach a resolution

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• T vs F Perceptions

• Thinking and Feeling types interpret conflict
  differently
• What appears as conflict to some, is not to
  others

A True Story.
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• Imagine.

• A situation in which you were directly involved
  in a conflict
• How would you describe your comfort level in the
  midst of that conflict?

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T vs F Perceptions

• T preferences
• More apt to report comfort with disagreement
• May see conflict as a means of voicing point of
  view and arriving at most logical outcome
• Sometimes use conflict as a means of refining
  ideas, enhancing competence

• F preferences
• As conflict stands to threaten harmony, Fs report
  more discomfort
• During conflict, are more apt to encourage,
  validate and seek agreement
• Are most aversely affected by non-expedient
  agreement

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• Type Take-Aways

• Challenge your assumptions not everyone
  interprets conflict the same way you do
• Challenge your projections insensitive and
  emotional may reflect your own type lens, or
  the needs of others being ignored
• We all have conflict blindspots due to natural
  inclinations
• To come through conflict productively, we need to
  be more mindful towards the needs of others, and
  of the situation

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• Diving Deeper!

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• Function Pairs What we Do/What we Need

• Form groups ST, SF, NT, NF
• What are the best things people can do when in a
  conflict situation with you?

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• Best things

• STs Be rational and objective dont allow it to
  become personal.
• NTs Deal logically and provide
  reasons/rationale for your position. Dont get
  personal.
• SFs Talk to me directly, rationally, and
  calmly. Listen with respect and understanding.
• NFs Be calm and listen. Express your feelings
  and acknowledge mine.

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• Residual Effects of Conflict

• Most types report having respect for the other
  person for expressing their opinions or for their
  thought process.
• If the conflict situation was negative, most
  types report a loss of respect for the other
  person.
• Highlights the need to incorporate multiple
  perspectives into your own style

Research study by Patrick Kerwin (Kerwin
Associates - 2004)
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Optimizing Conflict Management

• We tend to default to our natural type
  preferences especially in conflict
• The outcomes will be better if we can flex to
  meet the needs of those involved even if we do
  not know their type!

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• Conflict Management Model

Addressing all preferences ensures 2 things 1)
We dont remain rigid in our preferences
development! 2) All people and types are
considered and included in the discussion makes
for more positive solutions and residuals
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• The WAY Conflict is Conducted E I

• EAllow time for discussion
• Be prepared to discuss your thoughts, ideas, and
  perspectives
• Tip for Is Prepare ahead, give cues of
  engagement
• I Allow time for reflection
• Be prepared for internal reflection and silence
• Tip for Es Allow each person to complete his
  or her thoughts, and actively listen before
  responding

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• WHAT is Considered S N

• S Assess the current situation
• What are the constraints within which we are
  working?
• What are the facts?
• What have we done before that has worked?
• What do we want to keep?
• Tip for Ns Validate your understanding of
  information and intention
• N Consider the possibilities
• What are possible ways around the constraints?
• What are the possibilities?
• What havent we done before that we may want to
  try?
• What changes do we want to make?
• Tip for Ss Explore implications and meanings

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• HOW a Conflict is Resolved T F

• T Analyze the situation logically
• What are the pros and cons?
• What are the consequences?
• What impact will this have on other
  organizational priorities?
• Has everything been thoroughly analyzed?
• Tip for Fs Try to separate the issue from the
  person
• F Consider the impact on people
• How does each alternative fit with the
  organizational values?
• What are the benefits?
• What impact will this have on the people
  affected?
• Has everyone been heard?
• Tip for Ts Try to check in with the people
  involved in the conflict

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• WHATS NEXT in the Process J P

• J Make a plan
• What are the next steps?
• What are the timelines and milestones?
• Tip for Ps Commit if necessary
• P Stay open to changes
• What additional information or possibilities can
  we consider?
• Whats our process for making changes as new
  information arises?
• Tip for Js Check back in

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• To Conclude.

• We all have natural ways of dealing with
  conflict (preferences and facets)
• We need to be mindful of when it is appropriate
  to use our preferences and when to embrace the
  opposite
• Incorporate the perspective of others and all
  the preferences - to make for more effective and
  inclusive conflict resolution
• Success, wisdom and maturity are when we choose
  behaviours based on the needs of the situation
  learning to flex for others and for ourselves

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• Want More?

Visit our website for Certification and Master
Class Dateswww.psychometrics.com/training
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• Thank-you!

Aidan Millar, BA MSc Email amillar_at_psychometrics
.com Blog www.psychometrics.com/mbtiblog