DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS FOR MAJOR AND PLANNED GIFT FUNDRAISERS

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DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS FOR MAJOR
AND PLANNED GIFT FUNDRAISERS
Property of William T. Sturtevant Fundraising
Consultant No reprints without permission
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• THE IMPORTANCE AND ESSENTIALS OF COMMUNICATIONS
• CREDIT TO SARAH A. ARCISZEWSKI OF WMET, NEW YORK

TWO MODES OF COMMUNICATIONS

• SURVIVAL TYPIFIED BY PAUSES, INSECURITY AND
  CONCERNS WITH SELF (E.G., THE NEXT QUESTION OR
  STATEMENT) ME/ME CONVERSATION.

• CONNECTION NATURAL, FLOWING CONVERSATION
  BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH
  EACH OTHER ME/YOU CONVERSATION.

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• ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS FOR CONNECTION MODE

• EMPATHY FOCUS ON THE OTHER PERSON.

• ACTIVE LISTENING.

• SINCERE INTEREST.

• ENTHUSIASM.

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LESSONS IN ACTIVE LISTENING FROM SALES
EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING
FOUR MAJOR REASONS WHY WE ARE NOT EFFECTIVE
LISTENERS

• WE HAVE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO LISTEN

• WE BELIEVE THAT FUNDRAISING IS TALKING

• LISTENING REQUIRES FOCUSED CONCENTRATION

• OUR PARADIGMS DISTORT WHAT WE HEAR

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LISTENING SKILLS CAN BE BROKEN DOWN INTO THREE
BASIC COMPONENTS

• 1. ATTENDING BEHAVIOR
• NONVERBAL COMMUNICATIONS THAT SHOW THE OTHER
  PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.

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• 2. PASSIVE LISTENING

• SILENCE IS POWERFUL BECAUSE IT
• SHOWS ATTENTION TO THE SPEAKER
• AVOIDS JUDGEMENTAL OR DEFENSIVE RESPONSES
• CREATES MILD PRESSURE FOR THE SPEAKER TO KEEP ON
  TALKING

PASSIVE LISTENING HAS TWO ELEMENTS (1)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AN EXCELLENT WAY TO
ENCOURAGE CONVERSATION (2) DOOR OPENERS
INVITE THE PROSPECT TO OPEN UP, E.G., TELL ME
MORE
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• 3. ACTIVE LISTENING -

• USE OF QUESTIONS TO CONCENTRATE ON WHAT
  PROSPECT IS SAYING, CLARIFY INFORMATION, AND TO
  PROVE YOU UNDERSTAND AND EMPATHIZE.

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SOME GOOD TECHNIQUES FOR THE ACTIVE LISTENER
WHEN YOU ARE CERTAIN YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HAS
BEEN SAID

• YOU FEEL . . .

• WHAT I HEAR YOU SAYING IS . . .

• IT SEEMS TO YOU . . .

• AS YOU SEE IT . . .

• I REALLY HEAR YOU SAYING THAT . . .

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WHEN YOU FEEL LESS CERTAIN YOU UNDERSTAND

• I THINK I HEAR YOU SAYING . . .

• IT APPEARS YOU . . .

• CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG, BUT . . .

• LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND YOU . . .

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• THE GOAL OF THE EFFECTIVE LISTENER/FUNDRAISER IS
  TO ENCOURAGE THE PROSPECT TO TALK, THEN LISTEN TO
  UNDERSTAND HIS/HER VIEWS AND UNIQUE NEEDS AND
  FEARS RELATING TO THE GIFT DECISION. THIS MEANS
  LISTENING WITHOUT AN AGENDA. ONLY IN THIS MANNER
  CAN YOU TRULY BECOME PARTNER/CONSULTANT.

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WHY QUESTIONS ARE SO HELPFUL CREDIT TO MAJOR
ACCOUNT SALES STRATEGY BY NEIL RACKHAM

• QUESTIONS REVEAL NEEDS.

• QUESTIONS EXPOSE PROBLEMS.

• QUESTIONS REVEAL VALUES.

• QUESTIONS UNCOVER MOTIVATIONAL TRIGGERS.

• QUESTIONS REVEAL STRATEGIC INFORMATION.

• QUESTIONS CONTROL THE DISCUSSION.

• QUESTIONS ARE AN ALTERNATIVE TO DISAGREEMENT.

• QUESTIONS GIVE THINKING TIME.

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TYPES OF QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK TO SECURE
INFORMATION

• CONFIRMATION VALIDATE DATA OR POINT OUT
  INACCURACIES. ARE YOU STILL CONCERNED ABOUT
  ESCALATING RATES OF LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN?

• NEW INFORMATION TO UPDATE INFORMATION AND
  FILL IN GAPS. MAY TELL YOU THE RESULTS THE DONOR
  WANTS. HOW DID YOU SETTLE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL
  PART OF THE WORLD?

• ATTITUDE QUESTIONS IDENTIFY PERSONAL NEEDS,
  VALUES, ATTITUDES AND SENSE OF URGENCY. WHAT IS
  YOUR OPINION? OR HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT
  ________?

• COMMITMENT QUESTIONS HELP YOU LOCATE YOUR
  CURRENT POSITION IN THE SALE. AM I CORRECT IN
  MY UNDERSTANDING THAT WE SHOULD FINALIZE THE
  ARRANGEMENT FOR YOUR GIFT?

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QUESTIONS WHICH WILL UNLOCK EMOTIONSFROM SCOTT
WEST OF STORYTELLING FOR FINANCIAL ADVISORS

• WHERE ARE YOU (OR YOUR FAMILY) FROM?

• HOW AND WHY DID YOU SETTLE ON YOUR LIFES WORK?

• WHAT ARE THE GUIDING PRINCIPLES THAT ALLOWED
  YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL?

• WHAT IS THE BEST BUSINESS DECISION YOU EVER
  MADE?

• WHAT IS THE BEST PERSONAL DECISION YOU EVER
  MADE?

• IF YOU COULD PASS ALONG ONE LESSON TO YOUR
  CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

• WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM THE CHARITABLE
  ORGANIZATIONS YOU SUPPORT?

• HOW DO YOU MEASURE SUCCESS?

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TIPS FOR ASKING QUESTIONSFROM NON-MANIPULATIVE
SELLING

• ASK PERMISSION TO ASK QUESTIONS.

• START WITH BROAD TOPICS, THEN NARROW THE FOCUS.

• BUILD ON PREVIOUS RESPONSES.

• AVOID JARGON OR VERNACULAR.

• IF YOU HAVE TO ASK A SENSITIVE QUESTION,
  EXPLAIN WHY.

• PHRASE QUESTIONS SO PROSPECTS ANSWER IN A
  POSTIVE FASHION.

• ASK WHAT GENERAL BENEFITS ARE DESIRED.

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POSSIBLE QUESTIONS TO ASK PROSPECTSFROM THE
RELATIONSHIP EDGE IN BUSINESS BY JERRY ACUFF AND
WALLY WOOD

• WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOURE NOT WORKING?

• WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL (AND HOW DID YOU
  CHOOSE IT)?

• WHERE DID YOU GROW UP AND WHAT WAS IT LIKE
  GROWING UP THERE?

• WHAT DO YOU ENJOY READING?

• HOW DID YOU SETTLE ON YOUR PROFESSION?

• PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.

• WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO VACATION?

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POSSIBLE QUESTIONS TO ASK PROSPECTS(CONTINUED)

• WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRAVEL THAT YOU HAVE
  YET TO VISIT?

• WHAT COMMUNITY AND/OR CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS
  ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH?

• HOW DID YOU DECIDE TO SETTLE IN THIS AREA?

• IF YOU WERE TO CHOOSE ANOTHER PROFESSION, WHAT
  WOULD IT BE?

• WHAT SPORTS DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING?

• WHAT SPORTS DO YOU ENJOY PARTICIPATING IN?

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POOR LISTENING HABITS

• YOU DO ALL THE TALKING.

• YOU INTERRUPT.

• YOU AVOID EYE CONTACT.

• YOU TOY WITH AN OBJECT WHILE ANOTHER PERSON IS
  TALKING.

• YOU PUT WORDS IN SPEAKERS MOUTH.

• YOU PUT PEOPLE ON THE DEFENSIVE WITH YOUR STYLE
  OF QUESTIONING.

• YOU START TO ARGUE BEFORE THE OTHER PERSON
  FINISHES THE CASE.

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POOR LISTENING HABITS(CONTINUED)

• YOU DIGRESS WITH STORIES.

• YOU FINISH SENTENCES.

• YOU WAIT IMPATIENTLY FOR THE OTHER TO FINISH.

• YOU ARE ARTIFICIAL WITH YOUR ATTEMPT TO MAKE
  EYE CONTACT.

• YOU OVERDO FEEDBACK TOO MANY NODS OR UH-HUHS.

• YOU MAKE JUDGEMENTS ABOUT PEOPLE WHILE THEY
  SPEAK.

• YOU BECOME DISTRACTED (E.G., FOCUS ON WORDS AND
  MISS THE MESSAGE.

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LISTENING TIPS

1. TO TRULY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PROSPECT/DONOR IS
   TELLING YOU, YOU NEED TO KNOW

• WHY IS THE PERSON SAYING THE THINGS SHE IS
  SAYING?

• WHAT ARE MOTIVES UNDERLYING THE MESSAGE?

• HOW DOES SHE REALLY FEEL ABOUT THE ISSUE?

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LISTENING TIPS(CONTINUED)
2. USE THE FUNNEL APPROACH TO ACTIVE LISTENING

• MOVE FROM BROAD TO NARROW

• BUILD ON RESPONSES

• CLARIFY

• EXPAND

• REDIRECT TO NEXT TOPIC

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LISTENING TIPS(CONTINUED)
3. CONCENTRATE BY FOCUSING ATTENTION ON PROSPECT
AND ONLY ON PROSPECT
4. DEMONSTRATE YOUR INTEREST AND ATTENTION
5. RESEARCH BY ASKING QUESTIONS AND MAKING
STATEMENTS WHICH ELICIT RESPONSES
6. OBSERVE AND INTERPRET NONVERBAL CLUES
7. ORGANIZE THE INFORMATION YOU OBTAIN.
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LISTENING TIPS(CONTINUED)
8. IMPORTANT GUIDELINES IN THIS REGARD

• RESPECT THE OTHERS POINT OF VIEW.

• UNDERSTAND FULLY WHAT WAS SAID BEFORE
  RESPONDING.

• USE PARAPHRASING TO CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

• EXPLORE RELATIONAL AS WELL AS CONTENT MEANING
  EXPLORE FEELING.

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LISTENING TIPS(CONTINUED)
9. BE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND FIRST AND SEEK TO BE
UNDERSTOOD SECOND.
10. RESTATE WHAT YOU HEAR, BUT AVOID REPEATING.
11. MATCH TEMPO AND TONE.
12. EVALUATE BUT AVOID VALUE JUDGEMENTS.
13. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND FEELING AS WELL AS VERBAL
CONTENT.
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METHODS TO IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS AS A LISTENER FROM
MAKING LISTENING WORK FOR YOU

• SEARCH FOR POSITIVE AND AREAS OF COMMON
  INTEREST.

• TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

• WORK AT LISTENING - EXPEND THE ENERGY AND
  ENTHUSIASM.

• FOCUS ON CENTRAL IDEAS.

• TAKE MEANINGFUL NOTES.

• RESIST EXTERNAL DISTRACTIONS.

• KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

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METHODS TO IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS AS A LISTENER
(CONTINUED)

• ASK QUESTIONS TO CLARIFY.

• CAPITALIZE ON THOUGHT SPEAK BY SUMMARIZING.

• PRACTICE.

• ANALYZE NONVERBAL CUES (CAUTION!).

• EVALUATE AND BE CRITICAL OF CONTENT NOT THE
  SPEAKERS DELIVERY.

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IF YOU SEEK TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY REMEMBER THESE
PRINCIPLES

• WHEN YOU ARE MAKING ONLY ONE POINT, PEOPLE
  PROBABLY NEED TO HEAR IT ONLY ONCE.

• IF TWO OR THREE POINTS, REPEAT OTHERWISE PEOPLE
  MAY NOT REMEMBER.

• IF FOUR OR FIVE POINTS YOU NEED TO REPEAT AND
  USE ANOTHER SENSORY TOOL.

• SIX OR MORE POINTS MEANS YOU WILL NEED
  REPETITION AND TWO OR MORE SENSORY TOOLS.

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THE EFFECTIVE LISTENER FROM MAKING LISTENING
WORK FOR YOU

• HAS AN OPEN, CURIOUS MIND.

• LISTENS TO NEW IDEAS.

• LISTENS WITH FEELING AND INTUITION.

• IS TOTALLY AWARE.

• LISTENS FROM THE HEART TO STAY NON-JUDGEMENTAL.

• LOOKS FOR IDEAS AND THE ESSENCE.

• PROVIDES FEEDBACK.

• CLARIFIES AND RESTATES TO HELP UNDERSTANDING.

• UNDERSTANDS OWN PARADIGMS AND HOW THEY AFFECT
  LISTENING.

• FOCUSED ON OTHER PERSON.

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WHAT DOES LISTENING ACCOMPLISH FROM THE POWER OF
CONSULTATIVE SELLING

• PROSPECTS MAKE CLEARER TO THEMSELVES THEIR
  FEELINGS AND REASONINGS.

• PROSPECTS MAY SELL THEMSELVES.

• PROSPECTS ARE ALLOWED TO THINK MORE CREATIVELY.

• PROSPECTS ENJOY THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPRESS
  THEIR OWN IDEAS.