Title: Mothering After Domestic Violence:
1Mothering After Domestic Violence
- Hands-on Activities for Intervening with Abused
Women As Mothers - Alison Cunningham, M.A.(Crim.)
- Linda Baker, Ph.D., C.Psych.
- Centre for Children Families in the Justice
System
2Centre for Children Families in the Justice
System
- Formerly the London Family Court Clinic
- opened 1974
- clinical programs
- about 30 staff
- also research, training, resource development
3World Conference 2008Edmonton
4Agenda
- Context for our work
- Desconstructing Economic Abuse to inform
parenting interventions - Customizing the Power Control Wheel
5Research(This will be quick and painless)
673 of articles from 2000 or later
7Little material addresses intervention
8Overview of Research
- adversity package
- cumulative effect
- complexity
- continuum of aggression and abuse
980 with battered mother had 1 or more other
Adverse Childhood Experience
10A Research Interlude
11Parenting Support for Survivors
- Engage by providing hope and a framework
narrative for her and her childrens experience - Describe impacts of abuse on mother-child
relationships and mothering - Enhance understanding of her children --
developmental stages, potential impacts, roles,
coping
12Parenting Support for Survivors
- Present guidelines for talking with children
about abuse - Offer parenting strategies to help children
thrive - Give permission for personal care
13Deconstructing Economic Abuse (EA)to Inform
Parenting Support
14After this session, you will be better able to
- Identify new ways of using the PC wheel to
engage and support women - Describe ways to use this approach to inform
interventions on parenting
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16Power Control Wheel
- Pros
- Widely used recognized
- Useful to women
- Adaptable, flexible
- Conveys nonphysical abuse
- Cons
- Oversimplifies
- Not inclusive of all forms of control tactics
- risks a one-size fits all interpretation
17Our Approach
- Deconstruct the slices
- Why? It helps a woman to
- make links to her life
- better understand complex concepts
- make links to how children were affected
- communicate her experience to others
18Deconstructing Economic Abuse
- how it affected me then now
- how it affected my children then now
- parenting strategies to counter the effects
19Case Study Video Clip
- What is the nature of the abuse?
- What messages is the son learning?
20Based on the case study what you observed in
the video, complete
- Exercise 1 Checklist for Economic Abuse During
Relationship. - Exercise 78 Messages Children Learn from EA.
21Given the abuse messages you checked off,
discuss
- What might be the effect on the mother-child
relationships? - What might be the effect on mothering?
22- To more fully answer the preceding questions,
you need to unravel the impact of
rationalizations on women and on children.
23Go to Exercise 4Rationalizations for EA
- Review material
- Link to case study and video
24Benefits of Unraveling Impacts of
rationalizations
- Financial realities of now create faux
legitimization of rationalizations from then - Faux legitimization of rationalizations fuels
their internalization -
25Benefits of Unraveling Impacts of
rationalizations
- Prevent their perpetuation with self and children
- Recognize in future partners
26.
- Describe some parenting strategies/approaches
this mother might use to help counter the effects
of economic abuse.
27Parenting Approaches Informed by Understanding
the Effects of Economic Abuse and Its
Rationalizations
28Neutralize emotions related to money, e.g.s,
- Divide allowance contingent unconditional
portion - Set and communicate appropriate expectations
- Supportively problem solve if child is
unsuccessful
29Neutralize emotions related to money, e.g.s,
- Set and hold givens, while providing some choice
- Keep the adult part of finances among adults
30Teach building blocks for economic partnerships,
e.g.,
- Engage children in family planning and decision
making around spending set amount of money for
family fun (e.g., pizza, video, swimming, ice
cream in park)
31Teach gender equality, e.g.,
- Use the same guidelines and rules for sons and
daughters - Draw attention to female role models for
financial competence
32Teach financial skills, e.g.,
- Use talk aloud strategies to model financial
skills and decision making - Comparison shop with children (e.g. grocery)
- Encourage children to save a small amount of any
money they receive
33Model the use of money in a healthy way, e.g.,
- Plan and make a donation as a family
- Involve children in gift buying
34Take Home Message
- Acknowledging womens experience is a safe way to
engage her around parenting - Deconstructing abuse can help women make the link
to how children were effected
35Take Home Message
- Understanding this link creates buy in and
informs the development and application of
compensatory parenting strategies - The combination of buy in, individualization,
and realistic strategies, increase the chance for
action
36Break
37Customizing the Power Control Wheel to Inform
Parenting
38As a result of this session, you will be better
able to
- Identify ways to customize the Power Control
Wheel with individual women - Describe activities using a customized wheel to
counter the effects of abuse on the mother-child
relationship and parenting
39Our Approach
- Customize the wheel
- Select relevant pieces
- Scale slice proportions
- Add missing slices
- Use to prioritize intervention with women
- Link to childrens experiences
- Inform parenting strategies to counter effects on
children
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41Marys Wheels
- First Mary drew the frequency of each type of
abuse she experienced - Then Mary drew the degree of impact on her today
of each type of abuse she experienced. She wrote
down how she was impacted in each slice.
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45In pairs, draw a customized wheel for Odelia
- use the P C Wheel as a reference (p. 12 in
package) - list types of abuse Odelia
- experienced
- size slices based on the degree of impact of each
type of abuse on Odelia - write how she was impacted in each slice
46Share compare wheels at your tableDo your
wheels differ from those of others at your table?
47- Abuse is personal
- Approaches that are individualized
- Join where the woman is
- Facilitate engagement
- Are more likely to be helpful
48In pairs, draw a customized wheel for Odelias
son
- List types of abuse her son was exposed to or
experienced - Size slices based on the degree of impact each
type of abuse might have on how he views Odelia
their relationship - Write down impacts in each slice
49- Compare and contrast the wheel you made for
Odelia with the wheel you made for her son.
50- Whats most salient to child may differ from what
is salient to mother - Even within the same family each childs
perceptions may differ - Important to support women to support children to
express their experience
51Lipschitz et al. (1999)
- 74 adolescents in in-patient psychiatric setting
- 93 reported at least 1 category of trauma
including child abuse and exposure to family
violence or community violence - 76 reported at least 2 categories of trauma
- average 2.5 traumas per youth
52Which was most stressful for you?
53Potential Impacts on Sons Relationship with
Odelia
- Diminished respect for mother
- Diminished belief she can care for him or protect
him - Angry at her for.
- Guilty for not protecting her
- Afraid she thinks hes like Dad
- Believes he should be new power figure in
family - Proud of her courage
54Parenting Strategies
- Identify 2 parenting strategies (be specific) to
counter the effects on their relationship and/or
mothering.
55Believes he should be new power figure in
family
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58Other Uses of the WheelSize slices by
- Fequency of each type of abuse used against me
against my child - Abuse I worry most about my child using against
me with his peers - Abuse I worry beginning in my new relationship
- Degree of impact of each type of abuse on me
(then, now) as a mother (then,now)
59Other Uses of the WheelSize slices by
- Degree of impact of each type of abuse on
children (one wheel/child)
60Guided self-discovery, with support, can lead to
action
- join with women around their experience of
abuse, - move to their experience of abuse as mothers,
- make natural extension to children,
- drawing on of the above, shift focus to
parenting.
61Applications
- Self-study
- One-to-one work (mother, child)
- Group work (mothers, children)
- Concurrent mother and child groups
- Joint work with mother child
62Take Home Message
- The more successful we are at individualizing
intervention, then the more likely women will - be engaged
- experience genuine understanding
- Acknowledge parenting needs/limitations
63Take Home Message
- Abused women will benefit from parenting support
that - Offers hope
- starts where a woman is,
- supports expression of her narrative
- supports both the woman and her children
-
64Take Home Message
- provides an explanatory framework for her
experience that can be personalized - enables bridging to her childrens experiences
- Includes peer support
- leads to action
65WHAT ABOUT ME!
- Seeking to Understand the Childs View of
Violence in the Family (2004) - Cunningham Baker
- Summary of best evidence from the literature
66HELPING CHILDREN THRIVE
- Supporting Woman Abuse Survivors as Mothers A
resource to support parenting (2004) - handouts for women background information for
service providers
67Little Eyes, Little Ears
- Little Eyes, Little Ears How Violence Against a
Mothers Shapes Children as they Grow - Order from the National Clearinghouse on Family
Violence - Également en français
68Our Contact Info
- www.lfcc.on.ca
- linda.baker_at_lfcc.on.ca
- alison.cunningham_at_lfcc.on.ca