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Bell Ringer


Bell Ringer Define relationships, dating relationships, and communication Give examples for both What are some benefits of having a relationship – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Bell Ringer

Bell Ringer
  • Define relationships, dating relationships, and
  • Give examples for both
  • What are some benefits of having a relationship
  • Divide into 2 groups
  • 1st group please list the characteristics of a
    healthy relationship
  • 2nd group please list the characteristics of an
    unhealthy relationship

Building Healthy Relationships
  • When relationships Change
  • More than just friends?

Building Relationship
  • Spending time together in a close relationship
  • Can be complex
  • Consist of friendship, romantic love, intimacy

Do you think there is pressure do date? If so,
where does it come from?
  • Friends
  • - No set age or time to start dating
  • - Some people wait until they are finished
    school because other things are more important
  • Media
  • - Images of couples in movies, TV, advertising
  • - Not always realistic

Do you think there is pressure to date? If so,
where does it come from?
  • Some teens may feel pressure to date from
    friends. Many people do not start dating until
    they have finish school because other things are
    more important to them.

Dating Sterotypes
  • What are some of the typical stereotypes when
    it comes to dating?
  • Who ask who out on a date?

What about Sex?
  • Who typically initiates sexual advances in a
  • Is it a stereotype that only males initiate
    sexual activity and place pressure on their

  • If a relationship is going to move to a sexual
    level, it should be discussed prior to the act
    not 2 minutes while otherwise occupied.

Sex continued
  • Every committed couple needs to have an open
    relationship about what is expected on this
  • Always remember that moving a relationship to a
    sexual level is an adult behavior.
  • And unfortunately although being an adult may
    seem great.. The adult consequences that come
    from sexual relationships are very serious.

Are we ready for the consequences?
  • How about being a parent at 18?

Instant Responsibility
Babies are cute, are STDs?
Enough about sex.. Lets get back to relationships
  • What factors influence the qualities we look for
    in a partner?
  • Parents families?
  • Media?
  • Friends?

  • In pairs, think of 10 questions you would like
    to ask someone before you started dating, or
    qualities the person should have.

What do you want?
  • Think about the relationships that you know..
  • What are some of the good things that you have
    witnessed growing up?
  • What about some of the negative things that you
    have witnessed that you never what to have in
    your relationship.

Class ActivityRelationship Progression
  • We are going to look at how a relationship
    progress from the first feelings of attraction,
    to dating, and perhaps a sexual activity.
  • We are building it, step by step.
  • We will be looking at the components of
    relationships and putting them in the correct

  • Does everyone agree that this is the correct
  • Will all relationships progress this way?
  • Where does / should love be placed in the
  • Have we build a real relationship or and
    ideal relationship?

Mature / Immature love
  • Often people think they are in love but
    sometimes it turns out to be infatuation rather
    than mature love.
  • Signs of immature love could be one person
    taking more than giving, jealousy, one person
    making all the decisions, broken promises,
    possible violence.

Qualities of a mature loving relationship
  • Showing that you care for the other person.
  • Having a sense of humor.
  • Communicating with each other.
  • Doing meaningful things together.
  • Maintaining relationships with other people.
  • Tolerate each others weaker moments
  • Sexual fulfillment accepting the decision to
    wait or participate.

Relationships, Attraction and Love
  • 1. Friendships
  • 2. Attraction
  • 3. Dating
  • a. Acquaintance
  • b. Build up
  • c. Continuation
  • d. Deterioration
  • e. Ending
  • 4. Intimacy
  • 5. Communication
  • a. self disclosure
  • b. listening skills men vs women
  • d. constructive criticism
  • 1. responding to criticism
  • 2. conflict resolution

  • 6. Trust
  • 7. Commitment
  • 8. Honesty
  • 9. Empathy
  • 11. Jealousy
  • a. Suspicious Jealousy
  • b. Reactive Jealousy
  • c. Gender Differences
  • d. Sexual Orientation Differences
  • 12. Love
  • 13. Marriage

  • Friendship is a unique bond. They are usually
    more forgiving than lovers. Friends develop a
    greater tolerance for growth and change, because
    they also spend more time away, and lead
    separate lives.

Intimate Relationships
  • Whereas friendships may be casual, intimacy by
    definition is deeply personal and trusting.
  • Intimate relationships are characterized by
    sharing deep personal information.
  • Intimacy grows out of friendship and usually is
    nurtured through dating.

Stages of Intimate Relationships
  • 1. Acquaintance / attraction stage
  • When one person tries to meet another
  • First impressions

1. Acquaintance /Attraction stage
  • How do people meet?
  • Research shows
  • 35 through mutual friends
  • 32 self introduction
  • 15 family members
  • 13 coworkers, classmates, neighbors
  • 5 other

Non Verbal Signals
  • Positive Non-verbals
  • Women are more sensitive to nonverbals than men
  • Non verbal signals-women smiling, hair flip,
    leaning close...
  • Pupil size. Pupils will increase when they look
    at something they are interested in
  • Leaning forward
  • Negative non-verbals
  • lets you know the person does not want to talk to
  • Arms crossed, tight lips, cold shoulder,
    expressionless eyes
  • Looking bored, poor eye contact - looking around
    the room (could just be nervous)

What do we find attractive?
What do we find attractive?
  • Attractive people are judged to be more
    sensitive, interesting, smart, kinder and happier

What do we find attractive?
  • For women
  • -neatness, occupation, education, and income
    potential, mens backside
  • For men
  • -physical traits (pretty, thin, not too done up
    not too much make up or hair spray, breasts)

What do we find attractive?
  • Some women consider taller men more attractive.
  • Some men prefer women about 4 1/2 inches shorter
    than them.

What do we find attractive?
  • Both genders rate people more attractive when
    they are smiling.
  • Research suggests men still prefer more demure
    women than those who are more dominant and
  • Characteristics such as warmth, fidelity,
    honesty, and sensitivity were rated higher in
    importance than physical appearance as desirable
    qualities in a prospective partner for
    meaningful, long term relationships.

What do we find attractive?
  • The single most highly desired quality in a long
    term relationship
  • Honesty

How do you approach?
  • Women tend to use nonverbal, covert
    communications to signal availability and
  • Men generally report that they find it flattering
    to have a woman stare or wink at them from across
    the room

How do you approach?
  • Men initiate communication with an opening line
  • Women tend to prefer innocuous, non sexual
    opening lines
  • Women are not likely to respond positively to
    cute, flippant or blatantly sexual lines

What are your favorite opening lines?
  • What does it feel like to be the most beautiful
    women in the room?
  • Im new in town, could you give me directions to
    your apartment?
  • Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone
    number, can I have yours?

2. The Buildup Stage
  • Partners move from merely knowing each other to
    caring about each other.
  • Test compatibility
  • Look forward to being together

2. The Buildup Stage
  • Probing phase of building a relationship
  • Seeking common ground and checking feelings of
  • Small talk
  • Superficial conversation
  • Stresses breadth of topic coverage rather than in
    depth discussion

2. The Buildup Stage
  • People who disclose too much too soon are seen as
    less secure, less mature and less desirable to
    date. Being open and honest is important, but
    dont move too quickly
  • Women disclose feelings more than men do but
    research suggests that the difference is rather

3. Continuation Stage
  • This stage follows a mutual commitment to a
    long-term relationship.
  • Off the market
  • Mutual trust is essential for a relationship to
  • Dont let boredom set in, dont fall into a rut

4. Deterioration Stage
  • Not all relationships go to this stage.
  • In those that do, this stage marks the beginning
    of the end
  • feelings of discontent, and dissatisfaction
  • feeling rejected, misunderstood
  • loss of affection, openness, trust and enjoyment
  • argue more
  • growing apart
  • failure to invest time and energy into the
  • failure to cultivate the relationship

4. Deterioration Stage
  • Maybe seek marital / couples therapy
  • Try new things
  • Make sure to spend time together
  • Don't take each other for granted
  • Don't forget to date
  • Do things to enhance the relationship
  • Work on communication

4. Deterioration Stage
  • It is irrational and damaging to a relationship
    to assume that good relationships require no
    investment of time or energy.

5. Ending Stage
  • Reasons for leaving
  • When the negatives outweigh the positives
  • When social constraints are lessened
  • When alternative partners are available
  • Problems in communications and jealousy are most
    common reasons.

5. Ending Stage
  • Once you have decided you want to break up, dont
    prolong the inevitable. Face to face is better
    than a call or e-mail. Dont let them hear it
    from someone else
  • Use I statements, dont make promises you cant
  • Avoid jumping into a new relationship right away

  • Causes
  • Lack of social skills
  • Lack of interest in other people
  • Lack of empathy
  • Fear of rejection
  • Failure to disclose personal information to
    potential friends
  • Causes cont.
  • Cynicism about human nature
  • Demanding too much too soon
  • General pessimism
  • External locus of control

Coping with Loneliness
  • Challenge your feelings about pessimism
  • Challenge your cynicism about human nature
  • Make numerous social contacts
  • Be assertive
  • Fight fair
  • Remember that youre worthy of friends
  • Use your college counseling center

Coping with Loneliness
  • Challenge the idea that failure in social
    relationships is awful and is thus a valid reason
    for giving up on them
  • Become a good listener
  • Give people a chance to get to know you
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