Emotion: How to Use it Effectively in Counseling

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Emotion How to Use it Effectively in Counseling
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EMOTIONS
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How Do You Deal With Emotions?

• 1. I fling the door open and let it all show
• 2. I open the door but keep my hand on the handle
• 3. I open the door halfway and see what happens
• 4. I open the door a crackjust to show Im alive
• 5. I check whos there through the peep hole
• 6. I keep the door locked and bolted
• 7. Wheres the door?

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• Our feelings are always with us, but we are too
  seldom with them.

emotions have their own agendabut our rushed
lives give them no space Goleman,Daniel
(1998).
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• Men and Womens Brains are Different
• 1. The amygdala
• 2. The hippocampus
• 3. The hypothalamus

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• The Secret Life of the Brain
• We are feelings machines that
• think
• The Adult
  Brain

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• We Think in Emotional Footprints
• 2.5 millisecondswe felt something
• 250 millisecondswe thought about it
• We then re-filed it under a different
• feeling

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Why is The Identification of Feelings Important?
Behaviors
Feelings
GAPS
Life Disk
Trauma Disk
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• Plutchiks
• Theory of
• Emotions

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Plutchik Primary and Mixed Emotions
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• Theoretical Perspectives on Feelings

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• Feelings are windows, although perhaps broken,
  that give you insight and understanding as to
  defenses, coping mechanisms, survival strategies
  and beliefs. Just like a doctor, the pain
  (emotions), although symptomatic, may help lead
  you to the underlying cause.

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Three Circles
Thoughts
Thoughts
THOUGHTS
FEELINGS
Feelings
Feelings
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Life Circles
Surface
Cliches
Facts
Ideas
Real Self
EMOTIONS
Nobody Knows
Life Circles Technique of Arnold Lazarus
Lazarus, A.A. (1989). The practice of multimodal
therapy. Baltimore Johns Hopkins.
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Vocabulary of Feelings
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Different Feelings
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The Emotions of Grief
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The Feeling Wheel
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Feeling Faces
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Smiley Faces
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Limitations of Facial Expressions

• Humans use 250,000 facial signals and 700,000
• physical signals when communicating with each
• other.
• Often these signals are combined Illus Confused

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Nonverbal Communication Skills

• 93 of emotional meaning is conveyed without
  words 55 through facial expressions, body
  postures, and gestures and 38 through tone of
  voice.
• Elksnin, Linda and Elksnin, Nick (2003).

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Body-Based Emotional Descriptors

• Ice in his veins No room to
  breathe
• Makes me want to vomit No leg to stand on
• No intestinal fortitude Pain in the neck
• Saving face Spineless
• Galls me Tears me up
  inside
• Tight-lipped Blood boiling
• Heartache Gut wrenching
• Cant stomach that Cold Shoulder

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FEELINGS
WORDS
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The Color of FeelingsFeelingsUnlimited.com
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• Two Essential Components to Facilitate Change
• 1. Acknowledgement
• 2. Ownership

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• Creating
• Acknowledgement
• And
• Ownership

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How We Reject Feelings
1. By DEFENDING or EXPLAINING ourselves
2. By APOLOGIZING before out mate understands
we understand the feelings that were shared
3. By ATTACKING our partner with a defense
4. By ADVISING our partner
5. By CORRECTING the other
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How We Accept Feelings

• 1. REFLECTINGIt sounds as if you feel
• 2. CLARIFYINGAre you saying that
• 3. EXPLORINGIm not sure what you mean