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Are Your Emotions Sober?

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Are Your Emotions Sober? Practical Ways to Improve Your Well-Being John Howard Prin, LADC Minnesota Recovery Connection April 17, 2014 – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Are Your Emotions Sober?


1
Are Your Emotions Sober? Practical Ways to
Improve Your Well-BeingJohn Howard Prin,
LADCMinnesota Recovery ConnectionApril 17, 2014
2
John Prin BIO
  • Licensed Alcohol Drug Counselor,15 years
  • ? In-Patient and Out-patient
  • ? Former Hazelden counselor
  • ? Current Private Practice as Educator/Speaker
  • Author of three recovery books
  • ? Stolen Hours
  • ? Secret Keeping
  • ? Roadmap to Lifelong Recovery
  • Founder of TrueYouRecovery in Minneapolis
    www.TrueYouRecovery.com


3
Todays Focus
  • The Problem
  • The way a person in sobriety reacts to lifes
    challenges, difficulties, and surprises may
    arouse emotions that are stronger, bigger, or
    more intense than the situation calls
    for. Out-of-control emotions can lead to relapse.
  • The Solution
  • When a person in sobriety chooses to respond to
    lifes up and downs, rather than reacting, s/he
    gains perspective on those situations and
    maintains emotional equilibrium. This balance
    fosters healthy recovery.

4
In a Nutshell
  • From
  • Self-medicating emotions
  • To
  • Self-regulating emotions
  • From
  • Emotional Extremes
  • To
  • Emotional Equilibrium

5
Tools I Found Effective
  • Acceptance paragraph (p. 417 Big Book)
  • Acceptance is the answer to all my problems
    today.
  • The Promises (p. 83-84 Big Book)
  • We will know a new freedom and a new happiness
  • We will comprehend the word serenity and know
    peace
  • We will see how our experience can benefit
    others
  • Gratitude Book - One thing Im thankful for each
    day
  • Earnie Larsens Stage II - Self Talk Exercises
  • Emotions Anonymous - Just For Todays

6
Bill W.s Essay
  • THE NEXT FRONTIER EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY January
    1958
  • Key points in essay
  • After successful sobriety from alcohol, "many
    oldsters" still lacked emotional sobriety. Bill
    included himself.
  • Even successfully sober, and linked with the
    Fellowship of AA, peace and joy may still elude
    us.
  • Emotional Sobrietys Main Goal
  • How to translate a right mental conviction
    into a right emotional result, into easy, happy
    and good living.

7
A right emotional result Easy, Happy, Good
living
8
TAMING The BEAST
  • Emotions that remain unmanageable make us and
    our loved ones miserable.
  • Bill asked
  • How shall our unconscious be brought into
    line with what we actually believe, know and
    want.

9
BASIC FLAW
  • Frightful and faulty dependencies
  • Dependence on "prestige, security,
    perfectionist dreams" leads to
    DEPRESSION
  • Failure to grow up, emotionally and
    spiritually...
  • is due to the "pain from demanding
    the impossible adolescent urges,
    seeking top approval, perfectionism."

10
HOW TO CHANGE?
  • If we examine every disturbance we have, great
    or small, we will find at the root of it some
    unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy
    demand.
  • We can be set free to live and love if we
    surrender these hobbling demands.

11
www.TianDayton.com
12
Clinically speakingSelf Regulation
  • Emotional sobriety is about finding balance
    and maintaining our emotional equilibrium.
  • We do so by improving our ability to
    self-regulate
  • Balance occurs when our thinking, feelings
    and behavior are congruent, when we
    operate in an integrated flow.

Tian Dayton, PhD
13
YOUR TURN
  • Pairs Exercise
  • Select a partner
  • Take turns answering two questions
  • Describe a person you know in recovery who
    regulates his/her emotions successfully.
  • Describe a person you know in recovery who
    regulates his/her emotions poorly.

14
My Journey from Emotional Hijacking
  • While Addicted In Recovery
  • Self Pity ? Gratitude
  • Rage ? Forgiveness
  • Envy ? Acceptance
  • Despair ? Hope, trust
  • GOAL To regulate my emotions, inner and outer,
    appropriate to the reality of the situation

15
Insights from My 4th Step
  • MAJOR DISCOVERY
  • Behind my feelings (stronger and bigger when
    addicted) were thoughts and unexamined statements
    I made to myself (self-talk) that triggered
    unpleasant feelings I had to escape.
  • ? Life cheats me Anger, blame,
    hostility
  • ? My hopes and dreams fail Shame, guilt,
    inferiority
  • ? Others have it better than me Fear,
    distrust, aggression

16
Replacing Negative with New
  • Negative New
  • Life cheats me ? Life blesses me
  • My hopes dreams fail ? I celebrate my
    successes
  • Others have it better ? I am worthy and
    equal than me to others

17
The Value of RepetitionHint HABIT
  • Once replaced, each new reasonable/ rational
    thought needed repeating until it took
    over often daily for 3 to 6 weeks.
  • New Thought New Feelings
  • ? Life blesses me Joy, gratitude, hope
  • ? I celebrate my successes Optimism,
    satisfaction
  • ? I am worthy equal to others Serenity,
    peace, centered

18
Ways to Come into Balance
  • Resolve early childhood wounds
  • Learn ways to self-soothe naturally
  • Develop a strong relationship network
  • Maintain a healthy body with exercise, rest,
    nutrition, and sensual pleasure
  • Find meaningful activities, work, hobbies,
    passions
  • Process emotional ups and down as they happen
  • Develop inner resources, quiet meditation,spiritua
    l pursuits

THANKS to Tian Dayton, PhD
19
Albert Ellis - 1950sFather of CBT
Our emotions stem mainly from our beliefs,
evaluations, interpretations, and reactions
(cognitions) to life situations. These
cognitions can be either rational (realistic,
logical) or irrational (dysfuntional,
maladaptive).
20
Emotional Disturbances
  • People develop emotional disturbances and
    behavioral difficulties when they take their
    valid desires for love, approval, success and
    make the mistake of perceiving them as dire
    needs.
  • Emotional Disturbances largely result from
    irrational, self-defeating thinking
  • If I dont get my way, I will go to pieces
  • I must do better, or Im a complete failure
  • I ought to have success, but life is never
    fair

21
Basic CBT Model
  • When a person is skilled at Identifying
  • and Refuting irrational beliefs,
  • 3. and has learned to Replace these ineffective
    ways of thinking with effective and rational
    (realistic, logical) cognitions,
  • 4. the Result is ones emotional reactions to
    situations improve.

22
Earnie Larsens Stage II
  • Thoughts ?
  • Feelings ?
  • Actions ?
  • Results ?
  • Thoughts ?
  • Feelings ?
  • Actions ?
  • Results ?



Also POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
23
Positive Self Talk
Healthy SELF TALK fuels a persons Emotional
Sobriety
  • Negative self-definition gtgtgt (leads to)
  • Negative behavior gtgtgt
  • (leads to)
  • Negative results gtgtgt
  • (lead to)
  • This Cycle is reversed when
  • the person replaces NEG Self-Talk with POS

The better the Discovery, the better the
Recovery. - Earnie Larsen
24
Replacing Self-Talk
OLD Self Talk NEW Self Talk
Change Alcohol is my best friend To Alcohol is my worst enemy
Change Ill never be somebody To I am somebody
Change Life is out to get me To Life is full of opportunities
Change I dont matter to anybody To I matter a lot / am worthy
Change Life cheats me To Life blesses me
Positive Self-Talk Boosts Emotional Sobriety
25
Stage II Recovery(Earnie Larsen)
  • Stage I (Get Sober) Stage II (Stay Sober)
  • Past Present Future
  • Problem Solution
  • Disease /Crisis Health/Growth
  • Consequences Amends
  • Destructive Beliefs Constructive Beliefs
  • Isolation Fellowship
  • SELF OTHERS

26
Emotions Anonymous
  • A 12-Step program for those seeking emotional
    health.
  • www.EmotionsAnonymous.org
  • The Choice is Mine
  • Just for today I will try to adjust myself
  • to what is and not force everything
  • to adjust to my own desires.
  • List of Just for Todays
  • pick 3 that you like
  • See SAMPLES in HANDOUTS

27
True You Recovery Services 952-941-1870 www.TrueYo
uRecovery.com Minneapolis, MN 55439
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