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Addiction and the Role of Family

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Addiction and the Role of Family ... sexual activity, and illicit drug use, ... cut the grass, etc. They Act superior Treating the addict like a child. – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Addiction and the Role of Family


1
Addiction and the Role of Family
  • Marilyn G Stein
  • MGS Consulting, LLC

2
(No Transcript)
3
Prevention efforts can
  • Dispel myths about substance abuse. Assure family
    members that they are not alone.
  • Provide information that helps families
    understand addiction.
  • Tap into resilience and pro social coping skills
    for both parents and children by offering simple,
    concrete suggestions for coping that promote the
    use of innate resilience.
  • Link to local resources. What does your community
    offer for children and

4
About Addiction
  • Addiction is a chronic, progressive, primary
    disease of the brain that stems from an altered
    brain chemistry.
  • If left untreated or mistreated, this disease can
    and will result in death.
  • It is a disease characterized by denial and
    relapse.
  • It is manifested by repetitive, compulsive use of
    substances (drugs, alcohol, food) or activities
    (sex, gambling) despite adverse consequences.
  • It has strong genetic components.
  • It cannot be cured and requires lifelong
    treatment.

5
A Brain Disease
  • Drug addiction is a brain disease that develops
    over time as a result of the initially VOLUNTARY
    behavior of using drugs.
  • For many people the compulsive use is truly
    uncontrollable.
  • Similarly schizophrenics cannot control
    hallucinations
  • Depressed patients cannot control their moods
  • Addicts cannot control their use

6
Another Definition
  • A pathological love and trust relationship with
    an object or an event.
  • Craig Nakken,
  • The Addictive Personality

7
The Progression of Addiction
8
  • Every drug user starts out as an occasional
    user, and the initial use is voluntary but as
    time passes and use continues the drugs change
    the brain.
  • Alan Leshner

9
The Reward Pathway
  • The brain stem is in charge of all of the
    functions our body needs to stay alivebreathing,
    circulating blood, and digesting food
  • The limbic system links together a bunch of brain
    structures that control our emotional responses,
    such as feeling pleasure when we eat chocolate.
  • The cortex, known as the frontal cortex or
    forebrain, is the thinking center. It powers our
    ability to think, plan, solve problems, and make
    decisions.

10
  • There are many doors into the reward control room
    of the brain.
  • Food and sex are natural doors.
  • Objects and events are chemical doors.
  • Some doors to the control room are bigger and
    more easily opened. When the chemical door is
    bigger and opens more easily, addiction follows.
  • The Selfish Brain
  • Robert Dupont

11
About Genetics
  • Whether teens engage in pathological
    relationships with objects or events is
    environmental
  • HOWEVER
  • Genetics and biology determine whether the
    behavior develops into addiction.
  • Robert Dupont, The Selfish Brain

12
Like a Dog with a Bone
  • The Dog
  • Never wants to let go
  • Pesters till it gets what it wants
  • Never forgets
  • Is easily reminded that it is could get another
    bone
  • Really LOVES the bone

13
  • Traits of a healthy family
  • carry out basic functions
  • provides emotional safety
  • promotes individuality
  • promotes continuity
  • communicates effectively
  • accesses support as necessary
  • Traits of unhealthy family
  • lack of safety
  • poor boundaries
  • ineffective communication
  • mistrust
  • extremes

14
The ideal childhood
  • Kids from healthy families dont have to protect
    themselves externally so they get to go inside
    and see how they feel.

15
Impact of Addiction on the Family
  • When a parent is addicted to alcohol, drugs, or
    processes, over time the entire family is
    organized around the addict and the emotional
    chaos he or she generates.

16
The entire family system responds
  • When a family member is addicted, the whole
    family usually develops ways of coping with the
    problems.
  • The family avoids talking about the issue, so
    there is less communication.
  • avoids expressing emotions
  • keeps the addiction secret from the community.
  • Feeling is out of the question

17
The burden of trauma and neglect
  • Early neglect, trauma and abuse predict future
    problems including borderline personality
    disorder
  • All dysfunctional behavior patterns grow out of
    actions and attitudes that were supposed to solve
    a problem.
  • How is this true?

18
Unhealthy Families
  • Life in unhealthy families demand the skill of
    external self protection.
  • The result is those from unhealthy families are
    unfamiliar with their internal landscape because
    it is scary.
  • They look for external distractions that soothe
    their discomfort like cutting, sex and drugs.
  • These distractions initially work but over time
    cause more pain.
  • All dysfunctional behavior patterns grow out of
    actions and attitudes that were supposed to solve
    a problem.

19
  • Adverse Childhood Experiences
  • Childhood abuse, neglect, and exposure to other
    traumatic stressors which we term (ACE) are
    common
  • The ACE Score has a strong and graded
    relationship to health-related behaviors and
    outcomes during childhood and adolescence
    including early initiation of smoking, sexual
    activity, and illicit drug use, adolescent
    pregnancies, and suicide attempts.

20
ACE is
  • A study of the relationship of adverse childhood
    experiences to adult health status.
  • In over 17,000 persons studied, results show
    addiction to be a readily understandable although
    largely unconscious attempt to gain relief from
    well-concealed prior life traumas by using
    psychoactive materials.

21
The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study
  • Recurrent physical abuse
  • Recurrent emotional abuse
  • Contact sexual abuse
  • An alcohol and/or drug abuser in the household
  • An incarcerated household member
  • Someone who is chronically depressed, mentally
    ill, institutionalized, or suicidal
  • Mother is treated violently
  • One or no parents
  • Emotional or physical neglect

22
(No Transcript)
23
  • What was done to you?
  • What wasnt done for you?
  • Someone who was not allowed to be aware of what
    was being done to them has no way of telling
    about it except to repeat it. Judith Miller
  • (See article Child Witnessed Domestic Violence)

24
Activity for use with Clients
  1. List family members
  2. Write 4 words that describe each family member
    listed.
  3. Consider if each family member is a positive or
    negative influence in your life?
  4. Will each family member listed support your
    goals?
  5. How will you handle those who arent able to
    support your goals

25
CAGES
  • 1.Have you ever wished that your parent
  • would Cut down on his/her drinking?
  • 2.Have you ever felt Angry about your
  • parents drinking?
  • 3.Have you ever felt Guilty about your
  • parents drinking?
  • 4.Does anyone in your family have Eye-openers
  • (drink first thing in the morning)?
  • 5.Does your family keep Secrets or tell lies

26
How do family members contribute to the problem?
  • They Avoid Just keep the peace, take care of
    problems, dont upset anyone.
  • They Minimizing Its not so badthings will
    get better when
  • They Protect Protecting their image with
    co-workers and friendswhile we protect our own
    image.
  • They Taking responsibility Hes hung over so
    Ill take out the trash, cut the grass, etc.
  • They Act superior Treating the addict like a
    child.
  • They Suffer If I can just be patient, things
    will get better. Or God will take care of it.

27
Symptoms of the Dis Ease
  • Weak Boundaries
  • Enabling
  • Co-dependency

28
Personal Boundaries
  • One's own body
  • One's own possessions
  • One's own space which surrounds the body and
    possessions
  • One's own relationships (and roles) with others
  • One's own internal space (emotional,
    intellectual, cultural, spiritual space)

29
Enabling behaviors
  • What are they?Enabling behaviors are those
    behaviors that support our addicted loved ones
    chemical use.
  • These behaviors let the addict off the hook.

30
Enabling sounds like
  • Denial Expecting the alcoholic or drug addict
    to be rational or to be able to control their use
    is denial. Accepting blame for their use is
    denial.
  • Using with the addict or alcoholic So we can
    watch them, limit their intake, make sure they
    dont drive drunk.
  • Justification Agreeing with their
    rationalizations got a stressful job so he/she
    deserves two martinis after work.
  • Keeping feelings inside We get our feelings of
    fear denied and we begin to keep our feelings
    inside.

31
Being in tune to your feelings and needs
  • Are you focused on the addicted person rather
    than on your feelings and needs?
  • Are you putting yourself aside in your attempts
    to help them?
  • Are you abandoning yourself in your efforts to
    get them to stop abandoning themselves and
    harming themselves? Ask the family member If
    you focus on your own feelings and your
    responsibility for yourself, what would you be
    doing differently?

32
Co dependence
  • Unhealthy relationships lead to co-dependence.
  • Defined as Someone whose core identity is
    undeveloped or unknown. Someone who maintains a
    false identity built from dependent attachments.
  • An addiction to security.
  • Source Charles Whitfield

33
Are you co-dependent?
  • If you were to ask yourself these questions about
    your family, what would be the truthful answers?
  • Do my feelings about who I am come from being
    liked by you?
  • Do my good feelings about who I am come from
    receiving approval from you?
  • Is my mental attention focused on pleasing you?
  • Is my mental attention focused on protecting you?
  • Is my self-esteem bolstered by solving your
    problems or relieving your pain?

34
  • Myth I can keep my loved one from drinking or
    drugging
  • RealityYour loved one is sick. He or she has a
    disease. Youre sick, too. Its called
    CO-DEPENDENCY. Youre part of a denial system but
    you just dont know it. Youre in no position to
    "cure" your loved
  • You can only control yourself. You cant control
    your loved ones addiction.

35
The three Cs
  • You didnt cause it
  • You cant control it
  • You cant cure it.
  • Abraham Twerski, MD

36
Resiliency
  • The capacity to rise above adversity to be hurt
    and rebound at the same time. To keep hacking
    away at the thorny underbrush and moving through
    life.
  • (Wolin, S. and Wolin, S. (1993).

37
Resilient children
  • Find ways to feel good about themselves and life
    in spite of the powerful influence of their
    parents.
  • Understand that everything is not their fault
  • Internalize their successes they take own what
    goes right in their lives.

38
7 key resiliency
  • 1) Insight - the ability to ask tough questions
    and give
  • honest answers
  • 2) Independence - the ability to separate
    emotionally and
  • physically from ones troubled environment
  • 3) Relationships - the ability to develop
    fulfilling
  • relationships with others to fulfill needs
  • 4) Initiative - the ability to take charge of
    personal problems,
  • set goals and be productive
  • 5) Morality - the ability to seek a fulfilling
    personal life,
  • demonstrate ethical conduct, and possess
    self-respect
  • 6) Creativity - the ability to impose order and
    beauty on
  • the chaos of troubling experiences and feelings
  • 7) Humor - the ability to resolve conflict and
    heal pain
  • through humor
  • Wolin and Wolin (1984)

39
Protective factors, which support aresilient
personality
  • Consistent behavioral limits,
  • Praise,
  • Encouragement,
  • Approval,
  • Guidance,
  • Physical affection
  • Companionship (Needle, 1983).
  • PANDORA'S BOX

40
Key Factors of Resilient Kids
  • Future focused
  • Strong sense of identity
  • Ability to be flexible
  • Willingness to see through a different lens
  • Sense of purpose

41
Resources
  • Addictive Thinking Abraham Twerski
  • Co dependent No More Melody Beattie
  • Facing Shame Marilyn Mason
  • In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts Gabor Mate, MD
  • The Four Agreements Don Miquel Ruiz
  • The Addictive Personality Greg Nakken
  • The Places That Scare You Pema Chodron
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