Million Leaders Mandate Notebook Three Leading When Times Are Tough (Lesson 4)

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Million Leaders MandateNotebook ThreeLeading
When Times Are Tough(Lesson 4)
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1 Samuel 30

•  1 Three days later, when David and his men
  arrived home at their town of Ziklag, they found
  that the Amalekites had made a raid into the
  Negev and Ziklag they had crushed Ziklag and
  burned it to the ground. 2 They had carried off
  the women and children and everyone else but
  without killing anyone.  3 When David and his men
  saw the ruins and realized what had happened to
  their families, 4 they wept until they could weep
  no more. 5 Davids two wives, Ahinoam from
  Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal from
  Carmel, were among those captured. 6 David was
  now in great danger because all his men were very
  bitter about losing their sons and daughters, and
  they began to talk of stoning him. But David
  found strength in the LORD his God.
•  7 Then he said to Abiathar the priest, Bring me
  the ephod! So Abiathar brought it. 8 Then David
  asked the LORD, Should I chase after this band
  of raiders? Will I catch them?
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•  And the LORD told him, Yes, go after them. You
  will surely recover everything that was taken
  from you!
•  9 So David and his 600 men set out, and they
  came to the brook Besor
• 10 But 200 of the men were too exhausted to cross
  the brook, so David continued the pursuit with
  400 men.
•  11 Along the way they found an Egyptian man in a
  field and brought him to David. They gave him
  some bread to eat and water to drink. 12 They
  also gave him part of a fig cake and two clusters
  of raisins, for he hadnt had anything to eat or
  drink for three days and nights. Before long his
  strength returned.
•  13 To whom do you belong, and where do you come
  from? David asked him.
•    I am an Egyptianthe slave of an Amalekite,
  he replied. My master abandoned me three days
  ago because I was sick. 14 We were on our way
  back from raiding the Kerethites in the Negev,
  the territory of Judah, and the land of Caleb,
  and we had just burned Ziklag.

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•  15 Will you lead me to this band of raiders?
  David asked.
•    The young man replied, If you take an oath in
  Gods name that you will not kill me or give me
  back to my master, then I will guide you to
  them.
•  16 So he led David to them, and they found the
  Amalekites spread out across the fields, eating
  and drinking and dancing with joy because of the
  vast amount of plunder they had taken from the
  Philistines and the land of Judah. 17 David and
  his men rushed in among them and slaughtered them
  throughout that night and the entire next day
  until evening. None of the Amalekites escaped
  except 400 young men who fled on camels. 18 David
  got back everything the Amalekites had taken, and
  he rescued his two wives. 19 Nothing was missing
  small or great, son or daughter, nor anything
  else that had been taken. David brought
  everything back. 20 He also recovered all the
  flocks and herds, and his men drove them ahead of
  the other livestock. This plunder belongs to
  David! they said.

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•  21 Then David returned to the brook Besor and
  met up with the 200 men who had been left behind
  because they were too exhausted to go with him.
  They went out to meet David and his men, and
  David greeted them joyfully. 22 But some evil
  troublemakers among Davids men said, They
  didnt go with us, so they cant have any of the
  plunder we recovered. Give them their wives and
  children, and tell them to be gone.
•  23 But David said, No, my brothers! Dont be
  selfish with what the LORD has given us. He has
  kept us safe and helped us defeat the band of
  raiders that attacked us. 24 Who will listen when
  you talk like this? We share and share
  alikethose who go to battle and those who guard
  the equipment. 25 From then on David made this a
  decree and regulation for Israel, and it is still
  followed today.
•  26 When he arrived at Ziklag, David sent part of
  the plunder to the elders of Judah, who were his
  friends. Here is a present for you, taken from
  the LORDs enemies, he said.
•  27 The gifts were sent to the people of the
  following towns David had visited Bethel,
  Ramoth-negev, Jattir, 28 Aroer, Siphmoth,
  Eshtemoa, 29 Racal, the towns of the
  Jerahmeelites, the towns of the Kenites, 30
  Hormah, Bor-ashan, Athach, 31 Hebron, and all the
  other places David and his men had visited.

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Leading When Times Are Tough

• Handling Difficult People and Situations
• Therefore, you are to be perfect, as your
  heavenly Father is perfect.
• Matthew 548

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Foundational Principles Leaders Must Understand..

1. In relationships, leaders often must practice the
   101 principle Find the 1 you can agree with
   and give it 100 of your attention

1. In relationships, it is better to build a fence
   at the top of the cliff, than a hospital at the
   bottom. (Take steps to avoid trouble).

3. When the emotion expressed far outweighs the
issue at hand, there is a hidden issue to face.
4. When a persons emotional needs outweigh
their intelligence, they wont be logical.
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Foundational Principles Leaders Must Understand
(continued)
5. Hurting people naturally hurt people.
6. As leaders, we must never place our
emotional health in the hands of someone else.
7. It is possible for a leader to sabotage
himself. He might win an argument, but
ultimately he loses more than he gains.
8. We must practice the Law of Connection
Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.
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Annoying!!!!
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Five Options When Faced With Conflict
1.Ill get them! (Retaliation)

• 2. Ill get out! (Escape and avoidance)

3. Ill give in! (Surrender)
4. Ill go half! (Compromise)
5. Ill deal with it! (Address the issue)
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Could the problem be you?
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Five Stages How Paul Did It
in the Book of Philemon
A. Compliment Stage (vv .4-7) I always thank my
God when I pray for you, Philemon, because I keep
hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and
your love for all of Gods people for your
kindness has often refreshed the hearts of Gods
people.
B. Compromise Stage (vv. 8-13).. I appeal to you
to show kindness to my child, Onesimus. I became
his father in the faith while here in prison.
Onesimus hasnt been of much use to you in the
past, but now he is very useful to both of us. I
am sending him back to you, and with him comes my
own heart.
C. Choice Stage (vv. 14) But I didnt want to do
anything without your consent. I wanted you to
help because you were willing, not because you
were forced.
D. Challenge Stage (vv. 15-20) So if you consider
me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome
me. If he has wronged you in any way or owes you
anything, charge it to me.
E. Confidence Stage (vv. 21-22) I am confident as
I write this letter that you will do what I ask
and even more! One more thingplease prepare a
guest room for me
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Steps Toward Effective Confrontation
1. Pray through your own anger.
2. You initiate the contact.
3. Begin with affirmation.
4. Tell them that you have a problem or a
struggle.
5. Bring up the issue, and explain you dont
understand whats happened.
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Steps Toward Effective Confrontation (continued)
6. Listen and allow them to respond.
7. Establish forgiveness and repentance, if
necessary.
8. Compromise on opinions, but not on biblical
convictions or principles.
9. Pray and affirm your love as you close your
time together.
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Pass the Blessing, Please!
The blessing consists of these elements
1. Meaningful touch
2. Affirming words
3. The expression of high value
4. The description of a special future
5. Genuine commitment
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Components for Inward Health

• A sense of worth
• If this is missing, we feel inferior.

• 2. A sense of belonging
• If this is missing, we feel insecure.

• 3. A sense of competence
• If this is missing, we feel inadequate.

• 4. A sense of purpose
• If this is missing, we feel insignificant.

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What Every Leader Should Know About the Root and
Fruit of Behavior