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Coaching Parents

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Parents and youth sit together Open ... Schedule a parent & catechist meeting ... #1 Leadership & vision to see the whole picture of what it takes to grow up Catholic ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Coaching Parents


1
  • Whole Family Catechesis
  • Coaching Parents
  • to form their own children

2
If you want to read more
  • Coaching parents
  • A plan to have much higher expectations of our
    parents

www.PastoralPlanning.com
3
Goals in this presentation
  • How can we succeed with restored order of
    initiation sacraments?
  • A conversation about the role of parents
  • What should it be?
  • What doesnt that always happen?
  • What resources are there to support a greater
    role for parents?

www.PastoralPlanning.com
4
Question
  • What is the toughest aspect of this
  • for you as a parish priest?

www.PastoralPlanning.com
5
Decree on Bishops, 44From Vatican II
  • Called for the development of a
  • Directory
  • to guide Catechesis

6
Already at that time
  • International Study Weeks were underway
  • Nijmegen, 1959
  • Eichstatt, 1960
  • Bangkok, 1962
  • Katigondo, 1964
  • Manila, 1967
  • Medellin, 1968

A real turning point Shifted from teaching
about religion to helping folks have an
encounter with Christ
7
The study weeks led to
A wave of activity aimed at renewing catechesis!
8
The church makes a shift
  • 71 Genl Catechetical Directory
  • 75 Evangelization in our Time
  • Evangelii Nuntiandi
  • 79 Catechesis Today
  • Catechesi Tradendae
  • 88 Catechumenate RCIA
  • 92 Catechism of the Catholic Church
  • 97 Genl Directory for Catechesis

9
Evangelization Today
  • 1975
  • Pope Paul VI
  • Very concise, very readable
  • One of the most important documents published in
    the church since Vatican II!

10
Evangelization Today
  • Catechesis in a ministry of the Word
  • It initiates church members
  • into the meaning of Christian signs and symbols
  • It assumes that folks have consciously accepted
    the proclamation of Christ
  • Conversion precedes catechesis!
  • Catechesis is Christo-centric

11
Catechesis in our Time
  • 1979
  • From Rome
  • Repeats the Christo-centric themes from EN
  • Focus on catechesis
  • for the whole community
  • by the whole community
  • Calls for it to be lifelong

12
1988
The church Restored the Catechumenate after
almost 1700 years of decline!
A fantastic, new, and powerful understanding of
catechesis emerged!
13
Followed, in 1992 by
The Catechism of the Catholic Church
14
Which led to
The revision of the General Directory for
CatechesisSigned by Pope John Paul II in 1997
Places the catechumenate in a central place
and role Sets the stage for lifelong faith
formation for all ages!
15
Which led to
The General Directory for CatechesisIn Plain
English
16
Two Great Goals
Help folks turn their hearts to Christ, discover
Christ in their lives love the Church
Evangelization Offer all members some level
of instruction in the faith to deepen their
conversion Catechesis
17
We know
  • More than 90 of adult Catholics
  • are active today
  • because their parents were active
  • only about 10 come to the church as adults
  • What does this tell us?
  • Parents play THE vital role!

www.PastoralPlanning.com
18
A timeline to help
until 1960
Formation in the home Mass every week Feasts
Seasons Fasting abstinence Confession Religious
Ed filled in a tiny gap
www.PastoralPlanning.com
19
A timeline to help
until 1960
1960-70s
The old Catholic culture ended Television
media Huge cultural shift in West At Mass less
often Religious Ed bigger gap to fill
www.PastoralPlanning.com
20
A timeline to help
until 1960
1960-70s
1980-90s
Religion classes at parish or in schools with
the parents mainly absent Participation in Sunday
Mass on the decline Home life more secular
media oriented Religious Ed HUGE gap to fill
www.PastoralPlanning.com
21
A timeline to help
We have to help develop the role of parents.
until 1960
1960-70s
1980-90s
Today
The numbers tell the truth The leading
indicator Will they have faith? The role
their parents played in their formation.
www.PastoralPlanning.com
22
Two groups of parents
  • 1 Deeply engaged
  • Active in parish life
  • At Mass every week
  • Household of faith
  • 2 On the edge of the parish
  • Show up when the kids need it
  • Very tentative about faith
  • Religion not central in life

www.PastoralPlanning.com
23
These two groups
  • The engaged only about 16-20
  • Still reluctant about formation for their own
    kids
  • Believes this is the job of the parish
  • The unengaged nearly 80-85
  • Some are hungry for more
  • But many are distracted so they dont even feel
    the ache or longing
  • These are the ones we must love the most

www.PastoralPlanning.com
24
The outcome of this
  • The passing of faith
  • from Generation to Generation
  • has slowed down or stopped.
  • Parents tend to remain absent
  • as long as we agree to do it for them.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
25
Many parents
  • Feel un-equipped
  • Dont know their own faith
  • Havent got the fire of faith in their own hearts
  • So they drop their kid at the parish
  • And go shopping

www.PastoralPlanning.com
26
And we at the parish
  • We accept these children
  • And we do a pretty good job
  • But we will always be only the substitutes
  • Parents form their own kids, even if they dont
    take an active role

www.PastoralPlanning.com
27
Add to that
  • Restored order of Confirmation
  • The carrot will be gone
  • What will hold them?
  • If they stayed only for the carrot,
  • Our formation wasnt working anyway
  • We arent losing very much

28
What seems to work
  • A combination of 3 things
  • Focus on the goal of
  • helping people know Christ
  • Coach parents to form their own kids
  • Participatory liturgy

www.PastoralPlanning.com
29
From the GDC 53
General Directory for Catechesis
  • Conversion is first. It is the full and sincere
  • adherence to the person of Christ
  • and the decision to walk in his footsteps.
  • Faith is a personal encounter with Jesus Christ,
  • the making of oneself a disciple
  • and it demands a permanent commitment
  • to think, judge, and live like him.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
30
From the GDC 98
General Directory for Catechesis
  • What we find at the heart of all catechesis
  • is not a book or a theology system,
  • but a person!
  • The fundamental task of catechesis
  • is to present Christ
  • and everything in relation to him
  • leading people to follow Christ in their lives.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
31
The Question of the Week
Year B is available on the site now -- FREE
  • Breaking Open the Word
  • A process used in the RCIA
  • A two step process
  • Re-proclaim part of the readings from Sunday Mass
  • Then ask first
  • what touched me?
  • what word or phrase did I hear?
  • Followed by
  • how does this affect my life?

32
The witness of pastors
  • When you share what you believe
  • In simple but honest words
  • Others see belief as more possible for them
  • You may need to rehearse or practice this in
    front of a mirror or with each other.

33
Living Christ retreats
  • Friday evening and Saturday all day
  • About 30 folks per retreat
  • Leaders and host team from parish
  • Working with your local team
  • Brendan, Chris et al.
  • Deepen communion with Christ
  • Grow in your ability to die in Christ

www.PastoralPlanning.com
34
Living Christ retreats
  • Use YOUR leaders
  • Do not make this complicated
  • Start with those in your parish who are already
    evangelized through Cursillo or other retreats
  • Provide follow up
  • Questions of the Week
  • Mini-Course gatherings or bible study
  • Be ready with follow up pastoral care

35
Resources
  • There are many resources
  • to help you implement this
  • at
  • www.PastoralPlanning.com

36
What seems to work
  • A combination of 2 things
  • Focus on the goal of
  • helping people know Christ
  • Coach parents to form their own kids
  • Participatory liturgy

www.PastoralPlanning.com
37
From the GDC 226
General Directory for Catechesis
  • The religious awakening
  • which takes place in the home
  • during childhood
  • is, simply,
  • irreplaceable.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
38
From the GDC 227
General Directory for Catechesis
  • The local parish must, therefore,
  • help parents
  • by whatever means works best,
  • to prepare for and assume
  • their responsibility,
  • of educating their children
  • in the faith.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
39
Whole Family Catechesis
  • A new form of religious education
  • One where parents take the lead
  • With their children
  • If parents cant
  • Grandparents
  • Older youth or others from the parish
  • The parents are the teachers.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
40
Coach your parents.
  • When you coach parents to form their own children
  • The parents also grow in their faith
  • You cant just send home a book
  • Parents are intimidated
  • Its not community based

www.PastoralPlanning.com
41
  • Coach

42
To succeed
  • You need 3 things
  • 1 Leadership vision to see the whole picture
    of what it takes to grow up Catholic
  • 2 A Parent-friendly resource
  • 3 Motivate the parents to jump in

www.PastoralPlanning.com
43
Coaching Parents
Baptism
Prep for Confirmation and First Communion
Confirmation
Secondary school years
The years after Baptism until about age 5 or 6
Key years after the First Sacraments
www.PastoralPlanning.com
44
Growing up Catholic
These live in a Catholic home Baptism prep
materials from a Catholic publisher are usually
enough
The goal here is Evangelization Instead of the
usual three night prep process, a three night
retreat-like experience
Baptism
  • A dual approach
  • One avenue for parents who are active and engaged
  • Another for those who are on the edge of parish
    life and faith

www.PastoralPlanning.com
45
I Claim You for Christ
  • One example of a retreat-like process
  • Three sessions
  • Journey of Faith from their own baptism to the
    present moment
  • Dying in Christ Reconciliation
  • Living in Community Eucharist
  • A covenant about raising their kids in faith

www.PastoralPlanning.com
46
  • Heres what it looks like
  • Found on the web site
  • An E-product

www.PastoralPlanning.com
47
Coaching Parents
  • Post-baptism care
  • Who stays in touch?
  • Again, a dual approach
  • More for those who are not engaged than for those
    who are

Baptism
The years after Baptism until about age 5 or 6
www.PastoralPlanning.com
48
Entrusted to Your Care
Whos got time for this?
  • One example of a method for staying in touch
  • E-product
  • Reproducible
  • Letters, e-mail, calendars, invitations,
    prayers
  • The key Stay in touch
  • Relationship!

www.PastoralPlanning.com
49
  • Heres what it looks like
  • Found on the web site
  • An E-product

www.PastoralPlanning.com
50
Coaching Parents
Baptism
Prep for early Sacraments
The years after Baptism until about age 5 or 6
  • An ideal time to launch coaching
  • Parents expect to be more involved
  • Parents kids attend together
  • They work as a family through the lesson.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
51
Heres one example
  • from Growing Up Catholic
  • Sacrament Prep
  • Coaching Notes are all ready to use

www.PastoralPlanning.com
52
Confirmation before Eucharist
  • 4 Sessions for Confirmation
  • Begin with their own baptism
  • Turn to a treatment on Mary
  • End with a strong understanding of the Holy
    Spirit
  • Move on to Eucharist immediately
  • 10 sessions total
  • About one year of work

53
Growing Up Catholic
  • Parents and children sit together
  • A strong resource is on the table
  • A Catechist leads the process
  • People called floaters are available
  • keeping an eye out for parent needs
  • Heres a picture of the room

www.PastoralPlanning.com
54
Supplies
Prayer Table
Food
Food
55
1 The purpose of exercise is to understand
pray the Our Father. 2 First, read through the
words of the Our Father with them. Read one line
and invite your child to repeat it after you.
Your child should know this prayer by heart.
Affirm your child often as he or she learns. 3
Then help your child find the correct meaning of
each phrase of this prayer. Draw a line to that.
We have given you two clues to get you started.
Heres the key 1 4 2 8 3 1 (given) 4 7
(given) 5 2 6 5 7 3 8 9 9 6 1010
56
Creating the Resource
  • Number the steps
  • Give the answers in a key
  • Do this in a parish gathering
  • Make it interesting and fun
  • You will discover something
  • Parents want to do this.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
57
1 We will now read about how Jesus is our friend,
just as a shepherd is to his sheep. Begin by
showing your child a Bible. Open it to show them
this passage. 2 Tell them that we are going to
read this story in words that we understand
better. 3 Then close the Bible and ask them to
read this passage aloud. Help them when needed.
Ask your child to retell this story in his or her
own words.
58
4 Time for a break! Help your child enjoy
coloring this image of Jesus and the children.
Coloring time is a good time to be close to your
child without necessarily talking about faith.
Dont be afraid to put your arm around your
child during this time. 5 Your child may not be
familiar with what shepherds do. Explain that
they look after their sheep with tenderness and
love. Jesus watches over us that way.
59
What about Confession?
  • Growing Up Catholic has a 6-session prep process
    for Reconciliation
  • BUT should you wait until theyre older?
  • Plus we must return to this sacrament many times
    throughout life

60
Heartily Sorry
  • Gathering with all ages to learn about and
    celebrate Reconciliation
  • Solemn gathering
  • Solid learning about Gods mercy
  • Confession isnt the only form of Reconciliation

Often with non-Catholic spouses present
61
  • Heres what it looks like
  • Found on the web site
  • An E-product

62
Coaching Parents
Baptism
Prep for Penance and First Communion
The years after Baptism until about age 5 or 6
Key years after the First Sacraments
www.PastoralPlanning.com
63
After the Sacraments
  • Learning Centers for Parents
  • Parents in one room
  • Kids in another room
  • Prayer
  • Then parents move between 15-minute quick
    sessions, coaching them on specific topics of
    faith
  • Centers
  • Little children
  • Primary school age
  • Secondary age
  • Theological background
  • Seasonal suggestions for the Catholic home
    (Advent, Lent, summer, etc)

www.PastoralPlanning.com
64
After the Sacraments
  • Whole Family Catechesis
  • Parents and children work together
  • Sitting at the same tables
  • They learn about the topic and actually go
    through a lesson
  • Very similar to the Growing Up Catholic approach
  • The goal is to start a conversion about faith
    that will go home with them

65
Coaching Parents
  • Follow the themes set out by the Church in the
    GDC
  • Revelation
  • Trinity
  • Jesus Christ
  • The Church
  • Morality
  • Sacraments
  • The Kingdom of God
  • Scripture
  • Prayer
  • Social Teachings
  • The Mass
  • Our Hunger for God
  • Chastity
  • Sin and Grace

www.PastoralPlanning.com
66
  • Heres what it looks like
  • Found on the web site
  • An E-product

www.PastoralPlanning.com
67
Another example
  • Faith on the Run
  • Parables on the Run
  • Miracles on the Run
  • Learn to Love the Saints
  • One fold fliers
  • E-products PDFs
  • You print
  • Used to encourage parents to insert a sacred
    moment in the busy-ness of life

68
Coaching Parents
Baptism
Prep for Penance and First Communion
Confirmation
Secondary school years
The years after Baptism until about age 5 or 6
Key years after the First Sacraments
www.PastoralPlanning.com
69
The period of catch-up
  • For children ages 8 thru 12 or 13
  • Childrens Liturgy of the Word
  • Rooted in Sunday liturgy
  • Excellent resources already exist
  • For everyone older than 13 or so
  • Mini-Courses on the faith
  • Content conversion oriented

70
Mini-Courses
  • How do they work?
  • Parents and youth sit together
  • Open with something to break the ice
  • Pray as one whole group
  • Then move to small groups
  • Active learning
  • With a strong way of teaching
  • Learn Teach

www.PastoralPlanning.com
71
Heres one example
48 Study Guides for Learn Teach are all FREE
  • Growing Faith Mini-Courses
  • Short, defined areas of study
  • Combined with faith sharing
  • Usually 6 to 10 sessions per Mini-Course
  • For example
  • What Does God Want? Living the Commandments

www.PastoralPlanning.com
72
Learn Teach
  • Break the material into small chunks and assign
    each to a small group
  • The group draws out the major points
  • Creates a one-page flip chart sheet on them
  • which will be presented to all
  • And prepares one of the points for dialogue
  • in dyads in the larger group
  • They learn by teaching

www.PastoralPlanning.com
73
Coaching Parents
Baptism
Prep for Penance and First Communion
Confirmation
Secondary school years
The years after Baptism until about age 5 or 6
Key years after the First Sacraments
www.PastoralPlanning.com
74
To succeed
  • You need 3 things
  • 1 Leadership vision to go forward under this
    plan
  • 2 A Parent-friendly resource
  • 3 Motivate the parents to jump in

www.PastoralPlanning.com
75
Marketing
  • Try this
  • In todays world, a lot of people are talking to
    your children about God
  • Shouldnt you be one of them?
  • Come to St Marys well show you how.
  • Or this
  • Give your child what really matters
  • Share your Catholic faith.
  • Come to St Marys well show you how.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
76
Marketing
  • Dont be tentative!
  • Wed really like it if youd take part, but of
    course, you dont really have to
  • We dont want to make you mad or anything, but
    this is really your jobbut of course, well do
    it for you if you dont want to
  • You get lackluster results.

www.PastoralPlanning.com
77
Marketing
  • Personal invitations
  • Coming from other parents
  • Changing the ground over time so all will expect
    to be involved in the on-going formation of their
    children
  • Welcome all to Sunday Mass,
  • Regardless their situation in life

78
Now
What does a fully developed parish look like?
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
79
The Core Work of the Parish
Service
Worship
Liturgy music devotions
Pastoral care outreach
Admin
Word
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep Schools RCIA
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
80
The Current Pastoral Plan
What's missing in this picture?
Liturgy music devotions
Pastoral care outreach
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep Schools RCIA
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
81
The Current Pastoral Plan
Parish based process where folks experience conver
sion
Liturgy music devotions
Pastoral care outreach
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep Schools RCIA
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
82
The New Pastoral Plan
Encounters Retreats
Pastoral care outreach
Liturgy music devotions
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep RCIA
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
83
The New Pastoral Plan
What else is missing?
Encounters Retreats
Pastoral care outreach
Liturgy music devotions
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep RCIA
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
84
The New Pastoral Plan
Encounters Retreats
Pastoral care outreach
Liturgy music devotions
Lifelong Formation to sustain conversion
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep RCIA
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
85
The New Pastoral Plan
Retreats Encounters
Pastoral care outreach
Liturgy music devotions
Stewardship envelopes buildings
Formation Sac Prep RCIA
Lifelong Faith Formation
www.ThePastoralCenter.com
86
5 Steps to get rolling
  • (1) Go home and form a Lifelong Faith Team
  • Pastor
  • People invested in these age groups
  • From baptism prep
  • to high school
  • Key volunteers Parents
  • (2) Study and read
  • Great Expectations
  • Hold the discussions
  • Follow the book

87
Your teams job
  • Plan with you to implement this
  • Recruit new catechists
  • new assistants for the programs
  • Work with you to schedule and carry out the
    various levels of faith formation
  • Organize to invite parents personally into the
    process
  • Pray with you for all who come forth

88
Your next steps
  • (3) Use the Planning Guide (free)
  • What elements of coaching work for you?
  • What timeline might you follow?
  • Who needs to be involved?

www.PastoralPlanning.com
89
Your next steps
  • (4) Schedule a parent catechist meeting
  • Use the Parish Workshop
  • Provided free by us
  • The Workshop includes
  • Outline for a two hour workshop
  • Prayer sheets reproducible
  • Talks and Exercises all outlined
  • PowerPoint pres ready to use or adapt if you wish

www.PastoralPlanning.com
90
To get these FREE tools
  • The Planning Guide
  • The Parish Workshop
  • PastoralPlanning.com
  • Parent Coaching Center
  • (on the home page)

www.PastoralPlanning.com
91
Get started
  • (5) Start slowly
  • Sacrament Prep?
  • Baptism?
  • Keep adding one group after another
  • Think long term

www.PastoralPlanning.com
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