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When Victims Offend: The Domestic Violence

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Title: When Victims Offend: The Domestic Violence


1
When Victims Offend The Domestic Violence Flip
Jon McGregor, M.Sc., M.F.T.Calgary Counselling
Centre Community Crisis SocietyCoordinator
Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Program
2
Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Program
  • Partnership program (CCC CCS)
  • Enhancing access to resources for men and their
    families, affected by domestic abuse
  • Men experiencing any abuse, seeking support and
    change for themselves/kids/family
  • Counselling, Advocacy, Outreach

3
Objectives
  • Clarifying the grey of domestic violence
  • Learn what to look for concerning victimization
  • Understanding the complexities of working with
    offending victims
  • Be aware of victimized mens perception of
    working within the system

4
Overview
  • Examine statistics of abuse
  • Explore the dynamics of abuse (power)
  • Assessment Identifying abuse direction
  • Working within the System
  • Useful interventions

5
Rates General Social Survey (GSS)
  • Physical Abuse
  • 7 total 6 in males (546,000 men), 7 in
    females (653,000 women)
  • Stats Can 2009 police reported 83 female
    victims, 17 male victims

6
Rates Meta Analysis (Archer 00)
  • Women slightly more likely to hit men, to use
    violence more frequently
  • Men slightly more likely to inflict injuries
  • Note different types of samples womens refuge
    (e.g., shelter) vs community samples

7
Rates (GSS)
  • The majority of spousal violence is not an
    isolated event
  • 54 men said more than once
  • 11 men said 10x or more
  • 10 of victims seeking shelter support are men

8
Rates (GSS)
  • Violence men experience (from female partners) is
    less frequently injurious
  • 19 of men reported being injured, 2 sought
    medical attention
  • Only 17 of men who have experienced abuse report
    to police, 20 to social services

9
Rates GSS
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Men and women are equally likely to experience
    emotional abuse such as controlling
  • (e.g., jealousy, knowing where the other is)

10
Turning Point Women Who Abuse
  • video

11
Understanding Domestic Abuse
  • Abuse starts with a dynamic, relating within the
    relationship in terms of power/control
  • Domestic abuse goes beyond physical
  • When emotional abuse is present, 10x risk for
    physical abuse
  • Myth Perpetrators are physically bigger

12
Understanding Domestic Abuse
  • Abuse isnt just physical
  • Compliance based on fear
  • Confusion, blurred sense of responsibility
  • Partner gets their way
  • Concern for children
  • Themes of control imbalance of power

13
House of Abuse
14
Power Dynamics
15
Domestic Abuse complexity
  • These statistics contradict the dominant
    discourse of men as perpetrators, not as victims.
  • We are informed by these discourses, and we may
    be biased to ignore the male victim story (as
    real as it may be to that client)

16
The Flip DV Complexities
  • The unilateral approach insufficient
  • Struggle for control
  • Using violence after experiencing prolonged emo
    abuse
  • Karpmans Triangle (conflict roles) Blurred
    responsibility

17
Assessment the Flip
  • Whos afraid of whom? Patterns?
  • Minimizing use of emotional aggression,
    amplifying experience of physical aggression
  • Distinguish abusive from assertive behavior
  • Sensitivity to control feeling out of control
  • Skepticism should slow down the description

18
Case Example
19
Kevin
20
Themes Emerging
  • Emotional shame, hurt, confusion (e.g., of
    responsibility, multiplicity, emotions)
  • Masculinity as tightly tied to experience of
    control vs victimization
  • Migliaccio (2001)

21
Entitlement to Offend
  • Taking matters into my own hands
  • Ive put up with this garbage for long enough
  • This is just how family life goes (violence is
    normal)

22
Meaning of the System
  • What does the worker/educator/counselor MEAN to
    the offender
  • Suppressing the victim story
  • DV is an issue of power and control vigilant to
    power in relationships
  • Playing the victim, the client may see the system
    as the problem (e.g., interfering)
  • Therapy as doing time

23
Supporting Men
  • Penetrating barriers to working with offenders
  • Believing his story
  • Mixed feelings (e.g., pain, sadness, shame, loss,
    anger)
  • Validating
  • Holding him accountable
  • The challenge to respect
  • Client-oriented focus of therapy

24
Power Dynamics
Vulnerable
Victim
Persecuter
Rescuer
Caring
Assertive
25
Interventions
  • Monitor personal biases
  • Asking the question
  • Note the importance of neutrality
  • Listen and validate

26
Interventions
  • GOALS
  • Expose violence
  • Clarify responsibility
  • Elucidate and honor resistance
  • Contest blaming (pathologizing...) victims
  • -Wade

27
Interventions
  • Invitations to Responsibility (Jenkins)
  • Strength focus
  • Assumption of positive values for relationships
  • Language of Non-Violence
  • Belief in clients desire for non-violence in
    intimate relationships

28
Conclusions
  • Domestic abuse isnt black and white
  • Honoring the victim story can engage the client
    (when appropriate)
  • Hold the client accountable
  • Watch for power dynamics in the story as well as
    in the professional relationship

29
Safety Planning (contd)
  • Safety planning may look different for men
  • Concerned more for emotional safety than physical
    safety time outs
  • Her use of objects may make the house unsafe
  • Monitoring personal messages
  • Risk of police disbelief, seen/charged as primary
    perpetrator
  • Are kids safe with mother?
  • Taking kids perceived/reported as kidnap

30
How YOU can help
  • Know some resources
  • Calgary Counselling 265-4980
  • Wheatland Shelter (CCS) 934-6634
  • MDAOP 691-5954
  • Mens Crisis Line 266-4357
  • CCASA 237-5888
  • Kirby Seniors 705-3250

31
Questions/Discussion
Jon McGregorjonathan.mcgregor_at_calgarycounselling
.com
32
  • References
  • Amaral, T.A. (2008). Being understood Women who
    use violence in their intimate relationships with
    men. Unpublished doctoral dissertation,
    University of Calgary, Alberta.
  • Dobash, R.E., Dobash, R.P. (1977-1978). Wives
    The appropriate victims of marital violence.
    Victimology An International Journal, 2,
    426-442.
  • Hamel, J. (2006). Gener-inclusive family
    interventions in domestic violence An overview.
    In J. Hamel T. Nicholls (Eds.) Family
    Approaches to Domestic Violence A Guide to
    Gender-Inclusive Research and Treatment
    (p.247-273). Springer Publishing.
  • Johnson, M.P. (1995). Patriarchal terrorism and
    common couple violence Two forms of violence
    against women in U.S. families. Journal of
    Marriage and the Family, 57, 283-294.
  • Johnson, M.P. (2001). Conflict and control
    Symmetry and asymetry in domestic violence. In,
    A. Booth et al. (Eds.), Couples in Conflict (pp.
    94-104). Mahwah, N.J. Erlbaum Associates.
  • Kimmel, M.S. (2002). Gender symmetry in
    domestic violence A substantive and
    methodological research review. Violence Against
    Women, Special Issue Womens Use of Violence in
    Intimate Relationships, Part 1. 8.
  • Lupri, E. Grandin, E. (2004). Intimate Partner
    Abuse Against Men. The National Clearinghouse on
    Family Violence. (Minister of Health).
  • Migliaccio, T.A. (2001). Marginalizing the
    battered male. The Journal of Mens Studies, 9,
    205-206.
  • Statistics Canada, Canadian Centre for Justice
    Statistics. (2005). Family violence in Canada A
    statistical profile. (Ottawa Minister of
    Industry).
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