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Expert: I treat your problem. Coach: I help and guide the changes you need ... It is nurtured and fostered in the loving-heart, in the eyes that seek beauty. ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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  • Presentation to the
  • Ontario Multifaith Council
  • Rev. Dr. Peter Barnes
  • June 24th, 2008, Toronto

  • Introduction
  • Presentation Healing Presence
  • Doing the inner work
  • Spirituality
  • Spiritual Essentials
  • Comments and Questions
  • Conclusion
  • 1030
  • 1035
  • 1135
  • 1150

The Gravy Metaphor
  • I want to think of your life and acknowledge and
    understand, Healing Presence. Now imagine you
    are making gravy flour and water mixed together
    in a bottle and poured slowly into the stock. You
    see the mixture getting thicker and smooth. Its
    like your healing presence, deepening, warming,
    connecting, loving, nurturing. Done
    intentionally with care.

  • To define healing.
  • To consider obstacles that impair healing and
    presence. And the value of naming the obstacles.
  • To explore the significance of spiritual
    essentials that foster healing presence.

Your Objectives/expectations
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

HEALING PRESENCE Healing presence is the
condition of being consciously and
compassionately in the present moment with
yourself, another or with others, believing in
and affirming their potential for wholeness,
wherever they are in life.
  • The difference between healing and curing
  • Curing the alleviation of symptoms or the
    termination or suppression of a disease process
    through surgical, chemical or mechanical
  • Healing may be spontaneous but more often its a
    gradual awakening to a deeper sense of self (and
    of the self in relation to others) in a way that
    effects profound change. Healing comes from
    within and is consistent with a person's own
    readiness to grow and to change.
  • Healing is the integration of self. People move
    from a
  • sense of brokenness to a sense of wholeness. C.

Healing is
  • Becoming whole, a life-long journey of becoming
    fully human, involving the totality of our being
    body, mind, emotion, spirit, social and political
    context, as well as our relationships with others
    and with the Divine. Healing does not
    necessarily mean being happy or getting what we
    think we want out of life it means growth, often
    with pain.
  • Becoming our authentic self, releasing old unreal
    self-images, discovering who we really are, not
    what we think we should be, knowing why we are
    here and what we really value, restoring our
    ability to heed our aspirations.

Healing Presence
  • You cannot do healing presenceyou become healing
  • presence, expressing it gently yet firmly in
    various ways
  • Listening, holding, talking, being silent, being
    still, being in your body, coming home to
    yourself, being receptive
  • You can deepen your healing presence by
  • slowing down, doing only one thing at a time,
    reminding yourself regularly to come back to the
    present moment
  • You can encourage healing presence by being
  • appreciative, forgiving, humble, kind.
  • Miller, EJ and Cutshall, SC. 2001. The art of
    being a healing presence. A guide for those
  • in caring relationships. Willogreen Publishing.

Why Healing Presence Matters
  • When one is truly present to another there is
  • An alleviation of loneliness
  • An affirmation of ones authentic self and
    invitation to wholeness
  • Potential for spiritual bonding
  • A deeper sense of our common humanity
  • A recognition and acknowledgement of the other as
  • An invitation to self-transcendence
  • Possibility for greater self reflection self
  • Sharing on a deeper level, spiritual level

Breath and Music
  • Awareness of your breath in order to focus
  • Recall a tune that lifts your spirit or evokes a
    positive memory.

Questions for reflection
  1. To what degree do others experience me as a
    healing presence?
  2. What kind of person must I be to be a healing
  3. When I am exhausted and running on empty how do
    I renew my spirit and ability to care? What is
    life-giving in my life?
  4. In what ways might my lifestyle need to change
    for me to become a better healing presence?

Healing Presence Attitude
  • An attitude of anticipation that you bring to a
    relationship. The anticipation of making a
    difference, of something changing because of the
    engagement, the relationship.

Levels of helping relationship
Expert I treat your problem Coach I help and
guide the changes you need Trainer I provide
information and possible motivation for what you
what you have to do Mutuality Relationship is
key we enter into a stage of mutual
vulnerablility and learning.
  • All of you in the healing enterprise are Gods
    collaborators in making this a better world
    more compassionate, gentler, more caring, and
    more sharing we need each other to become truly
    free, to become human, and enjoy the spiritual
    well-being of our creation in relationship to God
    and each other..Tutu, Address to WHO, May 20,

Martin Buber
Martin Buber speaks of the I-Thou relationship
as a reverent being-with the other through which
ones own humanity is confirmed. The primary
word I-Thou can be spoken only withconcentration
and fusion into whole being which can never
take place alone, nor can it take place without
me. I become through my relation to the Thou as
I become I, I say Thou. - Buber, 1958
  • When we honestly ask ourselves which persons
    in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
    that it is those who instead of giving much
    advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to
    share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle
    and tender hand. The friend who can be silent in
    a moment of despair or confusion who can stay
    with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who
    can tolerate, not knowing, not curing, not
    healing, and face with us our powerlessness, that
    is the friend who cares.
  • Henri Nouwen Out of the Solitude

Wounded Healer
  • Henri Nouwen

Wounded Healer
  • What does it mean to be a wounded healer?
  • What does it suggest about my attitude towards
    weakness, deficiencies and vulnerability?

Henris words
  • And where I am injured, I touch my own heart,
  • my real identity. I surrender the illusion that I
  • perfectly healthy, strong and complete.
  • I acknowledge my broken self. This enables me
  • to remain vital and more human, compassionate
  • and gentle. At the sites of my injures lie also
  • treasures. That's where I am in touch with my
  • real identity and my vocation.
  • There I also discover my potential.

Being In Life
  • In the stillness, in the solitude, in the being
    there is life.
  • Energizing life, reaching deep into the core, the
    centre, the self.
  • Nurturing heart, nurturing love of self and
  • Responding in faith by being real, genuine.
  • Believing in oneself, created whole, well, full.
  • No void to be filled, no emptiness, a complete
  • Life is unwrapping the package, finding truth,
  • finding home within.
  • No searching, no escaping, discovering peace,
  • From the womb weve come and to the earth womb we
  • Remaining, living, connected by the cord, the
    thread of life
  • the heart beat.
  • Life pulsating in beautiful rhythm, music to the
  • The beat of life plays on and on and on.
  • Peter Barnes, July 14th, 2007 Anamcara, Cupids,

The Cave
  • The Cave is the place of rebirth, that secret
    cavity in which one is shut up in order to be
    incubated and renewed. C.J.Jung

Courage to Face a Deeper Pain
  • The explosion of anguish leads us to poverty and
    humility. It is this recognition of our
    brokenness and of our wounds which takes us off
    our pedestal in our own eyes, and sometimes in
    the eyes of others, we have been plunged into the
    pit. But if we are helped, we can discover the
    gift of these truths we are no different from
    those who try to serve we too are broken and
    wounded like them in a way we had not realized
    before we are truly together brothers and
    sisters we are a wounded people we can love
    each other, forgive each other and celebrate
    together our oneness.Vanier (1988) p.92-93.

  • The term spirituality refers to direct experience
    of the sacred. Walsh (1999),3.
  • A search for the sacred.
  • Pargament(2007),32.

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Desmond Tutu at WHO
  • You see, we faith and health have been
  • a very long time. Health is not only freedom from
  • suffering and illness Perhaps it would be good
  • us to include the recognition that there is an
  • relationship between God and humankind, which
  • can be acknowledged as spiritual well-being?
  • Perhaps one day this notion of well-being can be
  • included in the WHO definition of health?Desmond
  • Address to WHO, May 20, 2008.

Value of Spirituality
  • Strong faith, spiritual practices, ritual
    observances, prayer, and the felt presence of
    ones God and spiritual community often can
    transform anguish into bearable suffering.
  • Griffith (2005)

  • In particular it implies a concern with the
    sacred and supreme values of life.
  • Walsh (1999),3.

Spiritual Needs
  • Meaning and purpose to life
  • A sense of belonging
  • Relationship to self/others/God/Sacred Ultimate
  • Hope
  • Creativity

Spiritual DistressOccurs when the person is
out of harmony or out of their comfort zonesoul

  • Behaviors

guilt anger or resentment
sadness or grief lack of meaning and purpose,
powerlessness despair/hopelessness
fear of death feeling life or God has been unfair
religious doubt
Spiritual Assessment
  • Understanding the other not fixing
  • Assess through relationship-inviting story
  • Exploration of meaning for client
  • Evolving processspiritual pathway
  • Being presentno need for talking

Taking a Spiritual Pulse
  • How are you within?

Spiritual Essentials
  • Spiritual Pathways
  • Reconciliation
  • Rituals
  • Compassion
  • Recognition of guilt, love, suffering, anger
  • Hope faith and courage
  • Sacred Texts
  • Humour

Tutus Perspective
  • Goodness, compassion, love, justice, laughter,
    caring -- these are what will prevail, will
    triumph over their ghastly counterparts. Tutu,
    Address to WHO, May 20, 2008.

Spiritual Pathways
  • Over thousands of years, religious traditions
    have developed pathways to assist individuals in
    their attempts to hold on to the sacred. People
    can construct their own non-traditional pathways
    as well.Pargament (2007),78.

Reconciliation Path Self, Others and ones God
  • Healing Forces such as rebuilding trust and love,
  • Addressing barriers such as resentment, power,
    fear, anger, defensiveness,

  • Forgiveness is a spiritual process that has the
    potential to break the individual, family,
    institution, or nation out of previous set
    behaviours and to open up new options for
    self-understanding and action. Balmer
  • Forgiveness operates when love and trust are
    established or reestablished with self, others,
    with the world, and with a power greater than
    oneself. Balmer (2001), P.148-149.

Engaging/Encountering Self and Others in Illness
transformative and redemptive
  • Together they demonstrated that when those who
    hurt us reach out to heal us, reliably and
    repeatedly, and we support their efforts to bind
    our wounds, something extraordinary takes
    placesomething transformative, something
    redemptive.Spring (2004),P.123.

  • Rituals are symbolic acts or gestures that can
    assist us throughout our healing journey. They
    are conscious actions that recognize and support
    a life change. Sometimes it is important to
    involve supportive friends in rituals so they can
    bear witness to our grief and our efforts to
  • -- Ennis, Boland, Murphy (1995) p.121.

Compassion to Self and to Others
  • As we learn to have compassion for ourselves,
    the circle of compassion for otherswhat and whom
    we can work with, and howbecomes wider.
  • Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart, p.105

Compassion is Healing Presence
  • For compassion begins within oneself and moves
    out to others.
  • Begins now, in the present, is immediate and
  • It is nurtured and fostered in the loving-heart,
    in the eyes that seek beauty.
  • It grows in the goodness, in the openness, in the
  • Compassion ebbs and flows, in rhythm, back and
    forth, like fog along the coast.
  • Compassion moves obstacles, transforms, renews
    and heals fractures.
  • Compassion is infinite, everlasting, available
    and restorative.
  • Compassion deepens love, acceptance,
    understanding and defines truth.
  • Compassion fosters forgiveness.
    Forgiveness fosters reconciliation.
  • Reconciliation fosters community. Community
    fosters love.
  • Excerpt from the poem Compassion, by Peter
    Barnes, July 11, 2007

Potential Impact of Guilt
  • Potential harmful side effects to clients such as
    guilt and implanted belief that ill-health may
    result from insufficient faith.Sloan (2001)

God and love
  • NO WOUND is so trivial that the love of God is
    not concerned with it. No pain is so deep, so
    long-standing, that the love of God cannot reach
    it. Every shock, every bleeding wound, every
    anger and grief is not only encompassed by that
    love but is also held and transformed by that
  • -- Flora Slosson Wuellner PRAYER, STRESS, AND

  • Dont turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged
    place. Thats where the light enters you. Rumi,
    from The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks (1995).
  • When we look directly at the bandaged place
    without denying or avoiding it, we become tender
    toward our human vulnerability. Our attention
    allows the light of wisdom and compassion to
    enter.Brach (2003),37.

Chronic and Unresolved Anger
  • When important needs like feeling safe and secure
    as well as affirmed and accepted by others are
    threatened, your body immediately readies itself
    in a primitive, physical wayPhysical symptoms
    and even more serious health problems are an
    outcome of chronic and unresolved anger.W.Robert

  • Hope is a process.
  • Hope, the response of the spiritual person to
    struggle, takes us from the risk of inner
    stagnation, of emotional despair, to a total
    transformation of life.
  • Every stage of the process of struggle is a call
    to move from spiritual torpor to spiritual
  • The spirituality of struggle gives rise to the
    spirituality of hope. Chittister (2003) p.97.

  • Conversion (a shift in awareness) is the first
    stage in the flowering of hope.
  • To insist on living even when we feel dead inside
    is hope come to life.
  • An act of faith is the beginning of hope.
  • When fear of the unknown strangles the heart, one
    tiny act of courage can bring hope alivetiny
    acts of courage are tiny acts of hope. Chittister
    (2003) p.98-100.

  • Is the ability of patients to free themselves of
    the depression and despair that almost
    universally accompany a serious diagnosis
  • The ability to have confidence in their
    physician/health care team and themselves
  • The ability to maintain a good quality of life
    even under the most difficult of circumstances.
    Cousins (1989) p.106.

Theology of Hope
  • (Moltmann) sees the task of theology not so much
    as to provide an interpretation of the world as
    to transform it in the light of hope for its
    ultimate transformation by God.Grenz Olson,
    (1992), p.175.
  • The single most important category for
    understanding revelation is promise.Grenz
    Olson, (1992), p.177.

Sacred Texts
  • During the early parts of Europes second
    millenniumJews, Christians, and Muslims often
    lived and died side by side in peaceful
    coexistenceQuoting texts and sentiments common
    to all three monotheistic traditions, such as the
    Book of Psalms, respected the dying of all faith
  • (Richard Groves and Henriette Anne Klauser,
    The American Book of Dying Lessons in Healing
    Spiritual Pain. Toronto Celestial Arts, 2005. p.

Humor and Illness
  • Humor may not cure our bodily ills, but it can
    help us cope with them. Capps (2008), p.101.
  • William E. Kelly found that both worry and humor
    serve as coping mechanisms in anxious situations,
    especially those over which the outcomes are out
    of ones control. Illnesses certainly qualify as
    anxious situations in this sense. The worrier
    reduces anxiety by anticipating all the things
    that could possibly go wrong, while the humorist
    reduces anxiety by minimizing the importance of
    what may in fact go wrong.Capps (2008), p.110.

Holy Hour and Happy Hour
  • We all need a holy hour where we grow in our
    faith. We feed our soul and stay focused and in
    touch with Gods presence (the Sacred) in our
  • We all need a happy hour, too, where we can
    balance our daily stresses. Happy hours can be
    filled with surrounding ourselves with happy
  • Happy hours can be holy hours as well they are
    the present moments when we choose to live
    intentionally, allowing those times to touch us
    in the depth of our souls. Smollin

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Thank you for Being Present and for your
  • Healing
  • Presence
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