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How to Communicate with Difficult People

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How to Communicate with Difficult People. Research by Dr. Robert Bransen, author ... Misdirect anger and frustration. Look them in the eye. Let them run down. ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: How to Communicate with Difficult People


1
How to Communicate with Difficult People
  • Research by Dr. Robert Bransen, author of Coping
    with Difficult People

2
General Information about Difficult People
  • Behaviors are habitual
  • Only 10 of people are difficult
  • This 10 causes over 50 of the stress in work
    situations.
  • 7 Major Personality Types

7 Difficult Personality Types
  • Clam
  • Super Agreeables
  • Negativists
  • Know-it-alls
  • Indecisives
  • Hostile-Aggressives
  • Sherman Tank
  • Sniper
  • Exploder
  • Complainer

3
Behavior
Hostile-Aggressives Sherman Tanks
Strategy
  • Intimidating
  • Attack personally
  • Based on facts of the moment only
  • Impatience to sudden anger
  • Interrupt
  • Threatening
  • Stand up to them
  • Dont argue
  • Use phrases like
  • I disagree
  • In my opinion
  • When they interrupt, say, Mr. ___, you
    interrupted me
  • Prepare to be friendly tanks will change when
    they see youre strong

4
Behavior
Hostile-Aggressives Snipers
Strategy
  • Use cover (camouflage) of humor
  • Take pot shots at you or others you respect
  • Will use 2 Ploys
  • Cant you take a joke?
  • Youre too sensitive!
  • Smoke them out
  • Deal with them privately
  • Always end with Did you really mean what you
    said?
  • For each of the 2 ploys, go back to question
    above.

5
Behavior
Hostile-Aggressives Exploders
Strategy
  • Yell, seem out of control
  • Adult temper tantrum
  • Misdirect anger and frustration
  • Look them in the eye
  • Let them run down.
  • Get facts straight without blaming or taking
    blame
  • Offer to help

6
Behavior
Complainers
Strategy
  • Blame others
  • Have no control over their own lives
  • Whine never their problem always someone
    elses
  • Anything positive is a result of luck only
  • Listen actively
  • Paraphrase back
  • Dont agree or apologize
  • Ask specific questions
  • Make them help in solving problem
  • What do you want at the end of this
    conversation?

7
Behavior
Clams
Strategy
  • Silent, unresponsive
  • Confused
  • Trying to withhold communication for power
    struggle
  • Ask open-ended questions
  • Use Friendly, Silent Stare
  • Let them know you will follow through on the
    communication

8
Behavior
Super Agreeables
Strategy
  • Agree to do, but dont
  • Commit to actions they cant possibly do
  • Sociable so that youll like them
  • Cut through the fluff of compliments and promises
  • Offer a win/win compromise quickly
  • Help them be honest

9
Behavior
Negativists
Strategy
  • Say no to everything
  • Pessimistic
  • Contagious to others because they tap into the
    despair we all have
  • Come back with a positive to their negative
  • Dont try to change them theyll never admit
    theyre wrong.
  • Build a Horror Floor Whats the worst that
    could happen?

10
Behavior
Know-it-alls Bulldozers
Strategy
  • Knowledgeable
  • Have the right answer
  • Take no other opinions
  • Take disagreement personally
  • Think they dont need others
  • Get them to consider alternative views
  • Always paraphrase what theyve just said so they
    wont re-explain
  • If you object, do so in the form of a question

11
Behavior
Know-it-alls Balloons
Strategy
  • Speak with great authority
  • Phony experts
  • Little knowledge of facts
  • Call them on the facts as you know them
  • Give them the opportunity to save face
  • Change the subject

12
Behavior
Indecisives
Strategy
  • Cant make up mind
  • Stall
  • Worry about others feelings
  • Rarely take stands
  • Ask lots of questions
  • Find out what keeps them from deciding
  • Give them permission to disagree with you
  • Give them support when they do make a decision
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