Bullying

1
Bullying Sexual HarassmentStaff In-service

• Jane Reisenauer
• Ellendale K-12 School Counselor

2
Bullying

• Interferes With Student Learning
• Creates a Climate of Fear and Disrespect
• Students May Perceive the school as an
  environment of
• Lack of Control or
• Lack of Caring

3
EHS Results - Spring 2007ND At Risk Youth
Behavior Survey

• Percentage of students who were harassed or
  bullied on school property by other students
  during the past 12 months.
• ( ) Grade 7 8
• ( ) Grades 9 - 12

4
Bullying Harassing Behaviors are in
The EYE of the beholder
5
(No Transcript)
6
Violence Continuum

• Weapons Murder
• Assault / Hate Crimes / Gangs
• Harassment / Bullying
• Fighting / Stealing / Drinking Drugs
• Pushing / Shoving
• Taunting
• Insults / Trash Talk
• Put Downs

7
What is a bully?

• Some who intentionally hurts someone else.
• Bullying happens when someone with greater power
  unfairly hurts someone with lesser power over and
  over again.
• Greater power can include physically,
  intellectually, economically, and/or socially
  stronger.

8
Cyberbullying is

• harassment and bullying that takes place online
  or through other mobile devices
• Spreading rumors about someone through instant
  messaging
• Threatening someone on a web log (blog)
• Creating hurtful websites against someone
• Taking a picture of a person in the locker room
  using a camera phone and then sending it to
  others
•  

9
Personal Attitudes/Behaviors

• Children who bully
• Want power
• Have a positive attitude toward violence
• Have quick tempers
• Have difficulty conforming to rules
• Gain satisfaction from inflicting injury and
  perceive rewards (prestige, material goods)
  from their behavior
• Have positive self images

10
Children Who Bully

• Lack empathy
• Are concerned with their own desires rather than
  those of others
• Find it difficult to see things from someone
  elses perspective
• Are willing to use others to get what they want

11
Gender Bullying

• Girls and Boys bully differently
• Both engage in frequent verbal bullying
• Girls are more likely to bully
  by excluding and manipulating
  social situations.
• Boys are more likely to use
  physical actions

12
Dynamics of Bullying

• Who is Hurt?
• Victim
• Bully
• Bystander

13
Victim

• Fear of being bullied may lead to absenteeism,
  truancy or dropping out
• Grades suffer
• Decreased self-esteem
• As adults, victims are hesitant to take risks
• Violence against self or others

14
BULLIES

• At-risk for long-term negative outcomes
• Attend school less frequently and are more like
  to drop out
• May be a sign of the development of violent
  tendencies, delinquency and criminal behavior
• Increased risk of substance abuse
• Lack of respect for law and authority

15
BYSTANDERS

• Who are They?
• 85 of students are bystanders-neither the victim
  nor the bully
• Power to stop bullying lies with the bystanders
• May feel guilty or helpless for not standing up
  to the bully on behalf of the victim
• Fear reporting bullying incidents because the
  dont want to be called a snitch
• May feel unsafe, unable to take action or feel a
  loss of control

16
Strategies for Bystanders

• Refuse to join
• Walk away when bullies are acting up.
• Distract the bully so he or she stops the
  bullying behavior.
• Report any bullying you see
• document the behavior
• Stand up and Speak out.
• Use Humor
• Stand beside the bullys target.
• Work with others to reduce bullying.
• Tell a trusted Adult

17
Sexual Harassment

• Any UNWANTED or UNWELCOME sexual behavior that
  makes a student feel uncomfortable or unsafe
• Physical (touching, grabbing)
• Verbal (name calling, rumors)
• Notes / Drawings
• Electronic

18
Sexual Harassment may be

• Adult to Student
• Student to Adult
• Student to Student
• Male to Female
• Female to Male
• Male to Male
• Female to Female

• Which age group has the highest number of sexual
  harassment occurrences?

19
Reasons for Reluctance to tell

• Fear of Retaliation
• Code of Silence
• No one will believe you
• Dont be a tattletale
• Nobody likes a narc

20
Tattling or Telling
21
Using A Comprehensive Approach to Reduce and
Prevent Bullying/Harassment

• Main focus on changing school climate that
  reflects RESPECT
• Teach skills and strategies to avoid
  victimization
• Increase Supervision in Hot Spots
• Teach skills to enable the silent majority to
  become the caring majority

22
The Teachable Moments are

• Often annoyances to teachers!

23
On the spot interventions

• The Teachable Moment
• Stop the bullying behavior
• Support the victim
• Name the bullying behavior
• Refer to school rules, policy, etc
• Impose immediate consequences
• Empower the bystander's thank them for
  supporting the victim
• Discuss and teach students social skills
  necessary to avoid becoming victims of bullies
  (HA HA SO strategies - handout)

24
The Apology

• Apologies disarm people
• 1st Look at the person
• 2nd Say your sorry for what
• 3rd Say I wont do it again
• 4th - Ask How can I help fix the problem
• Practice
• Be aware of body language, tone or voice, etc

25
Character Education Bullying

• It is easier to build a child, than repair an
  adult.
• Schools involved in bullying prevention are being
  proactive instead of reactive.

26

•  
• Her friends do what she wants
• Shes not intimidated by other girls
• She can be  charming to adults---a female Eddie
  Haskell
• Shes manipulatively affectionate
• She wont take responsibility for hurting
  anothers feelings
• Defines right and wrong by the loyalty or
  disloyalty around her.
•  
• The Queen looses her sense of self by working so
  hard to maintain her image. 
• Sometimes, she can be extremely cynical about
  others, feeling they dont really
• like her but are using her popularity. 
• The Queen believes her image is dependent on her
  relationships and she
• gives the impression that she has everything
  under control. 
•  
•  

Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
http//www.spsk12.net/departments/specialed/Relati
onal20Aggression.htm

The Queen
27

• The Sidekick
•  
• Feels the Queen is the authority---tells her how
  to dress, think, feel, etc.
• Allows herself to be pushed around by the Queen
• Will lie for Queen
•  
• The Sidekick rarely expresses her personal
  opinions. 
• Her power depends on the confidence she
• gains from the Queen. 
• The sidekick and the Queen may seem

Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
(cont.)
28

• The Gossip
• Extremely secretive
• Seems to be friends with everyone
• Good communicator---give the impression of
• listening and being trustworthy
• Seemingly nice, but uses confidential information
• to improve her position
• Seems harmless, but in truth is intimidating
• Rarely excluded from the group

Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
(cont.)
29
Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
(cont.)

• The Floater 
• Moves freely among groups
• Doesnt want to exclude people
• Avoids conflicts
• More likely to have higher self esteem,
• as her sense of self isnt based on one group
• Not competitive
•  
• The floater usually has some protective
  characteristics that help her to avoid others
  cruelty.  She may be pretty, but not too pretty,
  nice, but not too sophisticated.  People
  genuinely like the floater.  She may actually
  stand up to the Queen and she may have some of
  the same power as the Queen.  However, the
  floater doesnt gain anything by creating
  conflict and insecurity as the Queen does.

30

• Torn Bystander
• Often finds herself having to choose between
  friends
• Accommodating
• Peacemaker---wants everyone to get along
• Doesnt stand up to anyone she has conflict
  with---
• goes along to get along
•  
• The bystander may be conflicted with doing the
  right thing and her allegiance to the group.  She
  often apologizes for Queens behavior, but she
  knows it is wrong. 
• The bystander may miss out on activities because
  shes afraid her friends will make fun of her. 
  She may even hide her accomplishments,
  particularly academically, to fit into the group.

Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
(cont.)
31
Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
(cont.)

• The Wannabee
•  
• Other girls opinions and wants are more
  important than hers
• She cant tell the difference between what she
  wants and what the group wants
• Desperate for the right look (clothes, hair,
  etc.).
• Feels better about herself when others come to
  her for help, advice
• Loves to gossip---phone and email are vital to
  her
•  
• The wannabee will do anything to be in the inner
  circle of the Queen and sidekick.  She may
  enthusiastically support them no matter what and
  shes motivated by pleasing the person who is
  above her in the social totem pole.  The wannabee
  often gets stuck doing the dirty work of the
  Queen and sidekick.  She may be dropped if she is
  seen as trying to hard to fit in. 
• For the wannabee, she hasnt figured out who she
  is or what she values.  She likely feels insecure
  about her relationships and has trouble setting
  boundaries. 

32
Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression
(cont.)

• The Target
• Helpless to stop other girls behavior
• Feels excluded and isolated
• Masks hurt feelings by rejecting people first
• Feels vulnerable and humiliated and may be
• temped to change to fit in
•  
• The target is the victim of the group.  Girls
  outside the group may tend to become targets just
  because theyve challenged the group or because
  their style is different or not accepted by the
  group.  The target may develop objectivity, which
  may help her see the costs of fitting in and
  decide if shes better off outside of the group. 
  
• She may choose her loser group but know who her
  true friends are.

33

Healthy Adolescent Development

• Positive School Climate
• Positive Peer Group
• Parental Monitoring
• School Connectedness
• Alternative Activities