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Title: Welcome Activity


1
Dealing With Difficult Parents When Choking Is
Not An Option Creating Healthy Partnerships
2
(No Transcript)
3
How Many Years In Education Less Then 10
Years 10-20 Years 20-30 Years 30 Years
4
Think of a particularly difficult encounter with
an angry parent that caught you off guard and
that you wished you had handled
differently. Share your encounter with your
table/group/partner.
5
Parental InvolvementRules, Regulations, and Laws
  • Title 1
  • NCLB
  • ACT 603
  • Act 307
  • ACSIP
  • Do Right Rule

6
Act 307 (Amended Act 603)
  • Informational Packets (Formerly Family Kits)
  • Materials in library for responsible parenting as
    funds are available
  • Parent Center as funds are available
  • Engage parents in other activities that promote
    responsible parenting as funds are available
  • Parent Involvement Meetings (Formerly Parents
    Make a Difference Evenings)

7
Act 307(Amended Act 603)
  • Volunteer Resource Book- Survey is now in the
    Informational Packets and Encourage staff to use
    surveys
  • Schools process for resolving parental concerns-
    Place in handbook instead of publish
  • Alumni Advisory Committee- Consider recruiting
    Alumni Committee
  • Parent Facilitator- Help organize training

8
Act 307Addition
  • Enable Formation of PTA or PTO

9
Act 603Deleted Items
  • Paycheck size cards with tips for parents
  • 2 Scheduled Parent Teacher Conferences
  • Policy about picking children up
  • Printing statement of attesting to the schools
    commitment to Parental Involvement
  • Newspaper recognition of parents attending Parent
    Teacher Conferences

10
ACSIPAct 307 of 2007
  • Informational Packets
  • Parent Involvement Meetings
  • Volunteer Resource Book
  • Schools process for resolving parental concerns
    in handbook
  • Seminars to inform parents of high school
    students about how to be involved in decisions
  • Enable formation of PTA or PTO
  • Parent Facilitator

11
Staff Development Requirements
  • 2 hours of staff development in Parental
    Involvement for teachers
  • 3 hours of staff development in Parental
    Involvement for administrators

12
Effects of Parent InvolvementAccording to the
Research
  • Higher Student Achievement- higher test scores,
    better grades, better attendance, and complete
    more homework
  • Higher Graduation Rates
  • Students Have More Positive Attitudes
  • Improved Teacher Morale

13
No More House Calls
  • Gone are the good ole days!

14
What is a paradox?
  • Definition A statement that seems
    contradictory, unbelievable, or absurd but that
    may actually be true in fact.

15
The only thing that is constant is change.
  • Marcus Welby - Derek McDreamy
  • Ozzie Harriett - Desperate Housewives

16
Dr. Marcus Welby
  • Parent support mostly unquestioned
  • If I get in trouble at school, Ill be in trouble
    at home
  • Punish now, Ask questions later
  • Teachers and school were revered and respected
    much like clergy and church

17
Dr. Derek McDreamy
  • Todays parents have different values.
  • I was in school so I am an authority.
  • Dont mess with my paycheck or my kid.
  • Parents had a bad experience in school.
  • Parents mistake rescuing as love.

18
Ozzie Harriet
  • Nuclear family
  • Stay at home mother
  • Language proficient
  • Work ethic
  • Respect for authority
  • Value of education
  • Wants the best for children

19
Desperate Housewives
  • Single parent home
  • Questions authority
  • Often feels threatened by professionals
  • Feels unwelcome at school
  • Language minority parents
  • Cultural differences
  • Wants the best for children

20
Ageless Desire of Parents
  • Ozzie Harriett Nelson want the best for their
    children.
  • Lynette and Tom Scavo want the best for their
    children.

21
Changing parent behavior may not be an option!
22
Changing our approach is!
23
Diagnosis and Treatment
24
WHATS BEHIND THE EPIDEMIC?
  • The mere formulation of a problem is often far
    more essential than its solution.
  • Albert Einstein

25
WHAT MAKES PARENTS SICK?
  • Todays world is stressful, fast-paced, and
    fragmented
  • Compressed time, communication overload, and
    disconnectedness

26
WHAT MAKES PARENTS SICKER?
  • Separation divorce
  • Power seeking
  • Troublemaking
  • Abuse
  • Addiction
  • Dysfunctional

27
HOW SCHOOLS MAKE PARENTS SICK
  • Failure to meet expectations
  • Failure to learn
  • Erosion of values
  • Incompetent teachers
  • Questionable safety
  • Second-rate schools

28
HOW ADMINISTRATORS MAKE PARENTS SICK?
  • Failure to communicate
  • Automatically backing teachers
  • Labeling
  • Acting defensive
  • Breaking promises
  • Lack of Respect
  • Not taking their advice

29
Preventing an Epidemic
30
6 Quality Standards Types of Parent Involvement
  • Communicating
  • Parenting
  • Student Learning/Learning at Home
  • Volunteering
  • School Decision Making and Advocacy
  • Collaborating with Community

31
Communicating
  • Communication is
  • Regular
  • Two-Way
  • Meaningful

32
Parenting
Skills are promoted and supported
33
Student Learning
Course of Study
Course of Treatments
34
Volunteering
35
School Decision Making
Treatment Options
Educational Options
Surgery Rehab
AP Courses Remediation
36
Collaborating With Community
37
Proactive Approach to Prevent an Epidemic
  • Learning how to defuse negative emotions
  • of parents with both real and imagined
  • problems is a critical human relations skill.

38
What is Anger?
  • Anger is an experience that occurs when a goal,
    value, or expectation that (parents) have chosen
    has been blocked or when (their) sense of
    personal worth is threatened.

39
First Steps to Healthy Relationships with Parents
  • Creating a Wellness Approach

40
Know Your Character Count
  • Be trustworthy
  • Be honest
  • Be authentic
  • Be respectful
  • Be forgiving

41
DIAGNOSING THE PROBLEMS
  • Curriculum
  • Books Materials
  • Teachers
  • Discipline
  • Achievement
  • Assessment Evaluation
  • Extracurricular Activities
  • BMI
  • Laws
  • Socialization

42
Systematic Approach to Parent Concerns
  • Three categories of strategies to concentrate on
  • Responsive
  • Exploratory
  • Action

43
Best Ways to Respond
  • Manage by walking around
  • Assume problems
  • Dont delegate
  • Welcome and accept
  • Say something nice
  • Self-neutralize
  • Attend

44
Best Ways to Respond
  • Listen
  • Be gentle
  • Read between the lines
  • Give wordless advice
  • Convey serenity
  • Be a mirror
  • Backtrack
  • Open your mind
  • Dont react

45
Best Ways to Respond
  • Remain composed
  • Be assertive
  • Take the A train
  • Apologize
  • Empathize
  • Welcome criticism
  • Consider cultural differences
  • End positively

46
HEALTHY INTERVENTIONS
  • Take your time
  • Listen
  • Ask questions
  • Partner
  • Stay focused
  • Create an action plan

47
CORRECTIVE PROCEDURE
  • Name the issue
  • Give an example
  • Describe your emotions
  • Clarify what is at stake
  • Identify your contribution
  • Express your desire to resolve
  • Invite a response

48
Example How to Deal with Parents Who Are Angry,
Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy, McEwan,
Elaine K.
  • Issue
  • Example
  • Emotions
  • Clarification
  • Mrs. Martin, I want to talk with you about
    the effect that your verbal outbursts are having
    not only on your relationship with Miss Jones,
    Matthews teacher, but also on Matthew and his
    ability to concentrate on school
  • Yesterday, outside the classroom, you
    confronted Miss Jones in a very hostile and
    accusatory tone of voice about Matthews science
    grade. A number of students, including Matthew,
    as well as parents and teachers heard you.
  • Im distressed about this issue and how it
    reflects on the climate of our school and also
    how it has impacted Matthews feelings about his
    teacher and school. For the past three
    afternoons, he has been in the nurses office
    complaining of a stomach ache.
  • I dont want your behavior to become grist
    for the gossip mill. I care about all of the
    parents in our school community, including you.

49
Example
  • Contribution
  • Resolve
  • Response
  • I should have talked to you the first time
    it happened, but I ignored the situation hoping
    it would go away. Im sorry. I didnt help you
    the way I should have.
  • I want to resolve this issue today. Id
    like to know that when we leave my office today,
    we wont ever have to discuss this kind of
    problem again.
  • Mrs. Martin, I want to understand what is
    going on here from your perspective. Talk to me
    about this problem.

50
EXAMINE YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY?
  • Do you subtly discourage people from rocking the
    boat?
  • Do you avoid open ended questions?
  • Do you purposely stay too busy to handle
    problems?
  • Do you delegate angry parents to others?
  • Do you keep things so structured that you dont
    see the real problems?

51
EXACERBATIONSWarning The Following Can Be
Hazardous To Your Health.
  • Dont interrupt
  • Dont take over the conversation
  • Dont change the subject
  • Dont focus on things that cant be changed
  • Dont get off on your own agenda
  • Dont engage in silent combat
  • Dont start to answer before you understand
  • Dont advise unless youre asked
  • Dont try to persuade
  • Dont appear neutral
  • Dont sound like a know- it- all
  • Dont over explain
  • Dont become intimidated
  • Dont settle for a superficial resolution

52
TO GOOD HEALTH
  • The goal of problem solving is to find a way to
    help each child be successful in his/her
    academic, behavioral, and social life.
  • If ignored, school problems can grow like an out
    of control weed, choking communication between
    home and school and cutting off trust and
    cooperation.
  • Nothing should stand in the way of a childs
    education.

53
Creating a Nurturing and Healthy School
  • All parts work together to achieve balance.
    There is a sense of wholeness and soundness.

54
Identify the Problem
  • Eliminate unhealthy habits and diseased parts
  • Maintain a healthy environment
  • Practice preventive medicine

55
Viruses
  • Clandestine Operations
  • When parents teachers go underground with
    secret meetings gossiping
  • Honesty integrity are lost

56
Viruses
  • Fault Finding and Blame
  • Parents teachers are unwilling to take
    responsibility for solving problems often blame
    everyone else.

57
Viruses
  • Backyard Gossip
  • Parents school staff who spread rumors and half
    truths.
  • Important way to deter backyard gossip is to
    provide adequate information.
  • If people do not have information, they will make
    it up.

58
Viruses
  • Lies, Half Truths, and Slander
  • Appear Righteous
  • Undermine the trust level in a school
  • Recognize them for what they are

59
Viruses
  • Triangulation
  • When you find yourself in the middle of two
    people who should be talking to each other.
  • They can shift their anxiety and the
    responsibility for solving the problem to you,
    then they feel terrific and the problem is yours!

60
Viruses
  • The Friendly Enemy
  • They are most often gracious, supportive, and
    generous with compliments, at least to your face!
  • As soon as you gain power or popularity the
    friendly enemy will begin to erode your support.

61
The Dangerous Dozen
  • Idiotic Illnesses
  • Contagious and Infectious Diseases within the
    School

62
Paralysis
  • Symptoms
  • Cannot get anything done
  • Autocratic administrators
  • Lack of creativity
  • Inaction
  • Uncertainty

63
Diarrhea
  • Symptoms
  • Constant flow of aggressive and abusive words and
    actions
  • Outbursts
  • Passive or aggressive violence

64
Chronic Fatigue
  • Symptoms
  • Overwork
  • Burnout
  • Lack of Leadership
  • Lack of Motivation
  • Unclear Vision
  • Meaningless Mission

65
Hypertension
  • Symptoms
  • Stress
  • Tension
  • Griping
  • Complaining

66
Heart Failure
  • Symptoms
  • Lack of empathy
  • Lack of understanding
  • Lack of caring

67
Lockjaw
  • Symptoms
  • Inability to talk
  • Informal Meetings
  • Lack of Organization

68
Circulatory Collapse
  • Symptom
  • Lack of Communication

69
Muscle Tendon Inflammation
  • Symptoms
  • Hostile Communication
  • Irritability
  • Frustration
  • Low Self-Esteem

70
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  • Symptoms
  • Chronic Complaining
  • Criticism

71
Calluses, Corns Bunions
  • Symptom
  • Inability to relent, soften, or give in

72
Chicken Pox
  • Symptom
  • Lack of Leadership

73
Malnutrition
  • Symptoms
  • Watered-Down Curriculum
  • Low Expectations
  • Low Achievement
  • Low Teacher Morale
  • Parental Dissatisfaction

74
Identify and Treat!
  • Virulent Viruses
  • Clandestine Operations
  • Faultfinding and Blame
  • Backyard Gossip
  • Lies, Half-Truths, and Slander
  • Triangulation
  • The Friendly Enemy
  • Dangerous Dozen
  • Paralysis
  • Diarrhea
  • Chronic Fatigue
  • Hypertension
  • Heart Failure
  • Lockjaw
  • Circulatory Collapse
  • Muscle Tendon Inflammation
  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  • Calluses, Corns, Bunions
  • Chicken Pox
  • Malnutrition

75
The Value of a Physical Exam
  • Check up or Choke out

76
Intensive Care Unit
  • I.C.U. - I See You!
  • My perception is my reality!

77
The Healthy School ChecklistHow to Deal with
Parents Who Are Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just
Plain Crazy, McEwan, Elaine K.
  • All students are treated with respect by all
    staff members (principals, teachers, secretary,
    custodial staff, bus drivers, cafeteria workers,
    etc.)
  • The principal and staff establish high
    expectations for student achievement which are
    directly communicated to students and parents.

78
  • Principal and staff members serve as advocates of
    students and communicate with them regarding
    aspects of their school life.
  • Principal encourages open communication among
    staff members and parents and maintains respect
    for differences of opinion.
  • Principal demonstrates concern and openness in
    the consideration of teacher, parent, or student
    problems and participates in the resolution of
    such problems where appropriate.

79
  • Principal models appropriate human relation
    skills.
  • Principal develops and maintains high morale.
  • Principal systematically collects and responds to
    staff, parent, and student concerns.
  • Principal appropriately acknowledges the earned
    achievements of others.

80
  • All staff members (classified and certified) are
    able to communicate openly with one another and
    say what they feel.
  • The individual abilities, knowledge, and
    experience of all staff members are fully used.
  • Conflict between various individuals (teachers,
    parents, students) is resolved openly and
    effectively, and there is a genuine respect for
    one another among these groups.

81
  • The entire school community can articulate and is
    committed to the vision and mission of the
    school.
  • Staff members can express their views openly
    without fear of ridicule or retaliation and let
    others do the same.
  • Staff members can get help from one another and
    give help without being concerned about hidden
    agendas.
  • The school climate is one of openness and respect
    for individual differences.

82
Healthy School Checklist Rating Scale
  • 71 80 Superior Health Continue to do all of
    the effective things you are doing, and
    regularly monitor the vital signs of your
    school.
  • 61 - 70 Excellent Health Even though your
    school is in great shape, there are a number of
    actions and behaviors that could notch up its
    health to Superior.
  • 51 60 Good Health With some fine-tuning in
    several areas, your school could be much
    healthier than it is.
  • 41 50 Poor Health One more crisis and your
    schools health will be failing. Change your
    lifestyle.
  • 40 - below Intensive care! No visitors until
    further notice!

83
CDCCenter for Disease Control
  • Communication
  • Determination
  • Cooperation

84
Creating Healthy Partnerships
  • What does research say about parent
    involvement?
  • What are some things that you can do to be
    proactive in building parental support for your
    school?
  • Identify those things that you are doing well.
  • What are some areas that you need to work on?

85
Prevention is the best medicine Firefighters
spend more time preventing fires then fighting
them.
  • Welcome genuinely
  • Listen - intently
  • Value - validate
  • Diagnose before prescribing dont try to fix
    everything.
  • Avoid pushing their buttons
  • Try not to put them in a no win situation

86
Parents are sending us the best kids they have.
  • They are not keeping the good ones at home!

87
Public Schools are for the Public
  • Every citizen has a guaranteed, constitutional
    right to attend

88
Whether we like them or not!
89
(No Transcript)
90
Bibliography
Henderson, A.T., Mapp, K.L., and Averett, A.
(2002). A new wave of evidence The Impact of
school, family, and community connections on
student achievement. TX National Center for
Family Community Connections with
Schools. Jaksec III, C.M. (2005) The difficult
parent. CA Corwin Press McEwan, E.K. (2005) How
to deal with parents who are angry, troubled,
afraid, or just plain crazy. CA Corwin
Press National Center for Education Statistics.
(2003) Violence in U.S, public schools 2000
school survey of crime and safety. Statistical
analysis report. Washington, D.C U.S. Department
of Education. Institute of Education
Sciences. National PTA. (2004) National
standards for Parent/Family Involvement
Programs. Payne, R.K., PH.D. (2005) Working with
parents- building relationships for student
success. TXaha! Process, Inc. Tingley, S.C.
(2006) How to handle difficult parents- a
teachers survival guide. CO Cottonwood
Press Wherry, J.H. (2007). Is Parent Involvement
Still Important?, Principal,56(4),. 6
91
Module Development Committee
  • Laura L. Baber, Assistant Principal, Malvern
    Elementary School
  • Carolyn Doyle, Teacher Center Coordinator, Arch
    Ford Educational Services Cooperative
  • Larry Russell, Ed.D, Technical Assistance
    Liaison, Mid-Continent Comprehensive Center in
    Partnership with the Arkansas Department of
    Education
  • Sandi Jordan, Parent Center Coordinator, Lake
    Hamilton School District
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