Third Australian EvidenceBased Coaching Conference Wellbeing and Coaching: How Well is Coaching Real

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Third Australian Evidence-Based Coaching
ConferenceWellbeing and Coaching How Well is
Coaching Really Doing?

• 5th and 6th July 2007

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ENGAGE Creating Leadership Partnership Across
Boundaries
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Engagement

• Relationships

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Relationships In Business

• Partnering

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Partnering

• A Relationship in Which We
• Are Jointly Committed to the Success of Whatever
  Process or Project We Are Engaged in

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Key Mindset

• Much That Looks Personal (The Trout)
• Is Not Just Personal Its Also Systemic (The
  Pond)

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Partnership Breakdown

• Often Occurs Because We Do Not Understand
  Peoples Worlds (Ponds).
• In Fact We Rarely Consider
• Them At All.

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Key Objectives

• Enhance pond appreciation of those you coach.
• Assess why partnerships break down.
• Provide 4 overall Pond Strategies to help the
  leaders you coach master the systemic space they
  are in.

Based on the work of Dr Barry Oshry Seeing
Systems
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POSITIONS
Customer
Customer
Top
Middle
Bottom
Customer
Customer
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POSITIONS and PONDS
TOP MIDDLE BOTTOM CUSTOMER
POSITION
POND
OVERLOAD TORN DISREGARD NEGLECT
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Stuff
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All right!
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Ouch!
Noxious Stuff
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Mysterious Stuff
?
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?
Ouch!
Noxious and Mysterious Stuff
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Well?
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Minus Stuff
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Key Take Away
Edge Of Your Seats
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Stuff Happens!!!
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Much That Seems Personal (POOR TROUT) Is Not
Personal Its Systemic (POND)
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OUR REACTIONS

• Make Up a Story
• Evaluate the Others
• Malicious
• Insensitive
• Incompetent
• Take It Personally
• React
• Get Mad
• Get Even
• Withdraw
• Lose Focus
• Partnership (Relationship)
• Engagement

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TOP WORLD
Complexity
Accountability
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BOTTOM WORLD

• Them

Vulnerability
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MIDDLE WORLD
T e a r i n g
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CUSTOMER WORLD
Plop
Neglect
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Top
Complexity
Middle
Accountability
Customer
T e a r i n g
Plop
Neglect
Them
Bottom
Vulnerability
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Still waiting
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OUR REACTIONS

• Make Up a Story
• Evaluate the Others
• Malicious
• Insensitive
• Incompetent
• Take It Personally
• React
• Get Mad
• Get Even
• Withdraw
• Lose Focus
• Partnership (Relationship)
• Engagement

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Partnership!
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Partnership!
Them
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MORE VULNERABILITY
Them
P a r t n e r s h i p
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Yawn
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OUR REACTIONS

• Make Up a Story
• Evaluate the Others
• Malicious
• Insensitive
• Incompetent
• Take It Personally
• React
• Get Mad
• Get Even
• Withdraw
• Lose Focus
• Partnership (Relationship)
• Engagement

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Can we have lap tops?
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MORE TEARING
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Ill see what I can do
?
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OUR REACTIONS

• Make Up a Story
• Evaluate the Others
• Malicious
• Insensitive
• Incompetent
• Take It Personally
• React
• Get Mad
• Get Even
• Withdraw
• Lose Focus
• Partnership (Relationship)
• Engagement

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I think Ill do something nice for customer
Plop
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MORE NEGLECT!!
Nice Gesture
Plop
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OUR REACTIONS

• Make Up a Story
• Evaluate the Others
• Malicious
• Insensitive
• Incompetent
• Take It Personally
• React
• Get Mad
• Get Even
• Withdraw
• Lose Focus
• Partnership (Relationship)
• Engagement

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Stuff Happens
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Complexity
Accountability
T e a r i n g
Plop
Neglect
Them
Vulnerability
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Partnering Time

• Discuss with your buddy
• What of this is familiar?
• What ponds do you find yourself in?
• How does this show up in your coaching?

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Alternative Responses

• Increased Empathy/Understanding
• Dont Take It Personally
• Stay Focused
• Dont Get Hooked by Stuff
• Be Strategic -- Take Others Worldsinto Account
• Ease Their Condition
• Partnership

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Side Show Door A

• Make Up a Story
• Evaluate the Others
• Malicious
• Insensitive
• Incompetent
• Take It Personally
• React
• Get Mad
• Get Even
• Withdraw
• Lose Focus
• Partnership (Relationship)
• Engagement

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Centre Ring Door B

• Increased Empathy/Understanding
• Dont Take It Personally
• Stay Focused
• Dont Get Hooked by Stuff
• Be Strategic -- Take Others Worldsinto Account
• Ease Their Condition
• Partnership
• Engagement

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• The Side Show is predictable but not inevitable.
  (Door A)
• The Centre Ring is not predictable, but it is a
  human possibility. (Door B)

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Not With Everyone Not Every Time ButWith
GreatRegularity
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Reactions Experiences
Pond Condition Response Experience

• TopOverload Suck It Up Burdened

BottomDisregard Hold Them Responsible Oppressed
MiddleCrunch Slide in Between Torn
CustomerNeglect Hold It Responsible Righteously
Screwed
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LEADERSHIP STAND
Door A Response
Condition

• STAND

Door B Response
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General Leadership Stands

• Be a Top Who Creates Responsibility Throughout
  the Whole System

TOPS
Be a Bottom Who Is Responsible for My Condition
and for the Condition of the Whole System
BOTTOMS
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General Leadership Stands

• Be a Middle who Maintains My (Our) Independence
  of Thought and Action

MIDDLES
Be a Customer Who Gets in the Middle of the
Delivery Process and Helps Them Make it Work for
Them
CUSTOMERS
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Questions and Comments
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Engagement

• Relationships

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Relationships In Business

• Partnering

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Partnering

• A Relationship in Which We
• Are Jointly Committed to the Success of Whatever
  Process or Project We Are Engaged in

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Final Reflections For Coaches

• Its not just about the TROUT.
• Much of our IDENTITY, growth and our suffering is
  around RELATIONSHIPS PARTNERSHIPS.
• COACH awareness of your leaders PONDS.
• Educate them as to the LEADERSHIP STANDS they can
  take.
• Make it a lifelong quest to GROW YOUR OWN POND.

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And then They GROW Themselves Laddie