AUTISM AND SEXUALITY Observations on Succeeding in the Challenges of Intimate Relationships for Peop

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AUTISM AND SEXUALITYObservations on Succeeding
in the Challenges of Intimate Relationships for
People on the Autism Spectrum Autism One
Conference 27-30 May 2008 Chicago, IL Presented
by Stephen M. Shore, Ed. D. Christina
Adamswww.AutismAsperger.net www.ChristinaAdamsWri
ter.com
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Introduction Stephen Shore
The Autism Bomb
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T H E A U T I S M S P E C T R U M
Severe Moderate Light
Kanners PDD-NOS HFA/AS
Rosenn, D. (1997). Rosenn wedge. From
Aspergers What we have learned in the 90s
conference in Westboro, MA. Used with permission
T w i c e E x c e p t i o n a l i t y
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Introduction Stephen Shore
College More friends Dating Others really do
think differently Utopia!
Completed a doctoral dissertation on comparative
approaches for working with children on the
autism spectrum
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Introduction Christina Adams
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex - Myths of Sexuality - Peter
Gerhardt
But the Truth is Persons with autism are as
diverse sexually as everyone else - and,
sexuality education is complicated by
challenges in language, communication, and
social differences. While sexual feelings
and interest may be high, a primary
information source is usually not available
non-spectrum teens (Volkmar Wiesner,
2003). - With proper support people with
autism can have relationships often with a
person having a difference.
Common Myths Persons with autism - have
little to no interest in sex - are
hypersexual - are solely heterosexual
So How can we help people on the autism spectrum
deal with this important part of life?
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex - The Tapestry of Sexuality
Sexuality is a part of life and is as
developmentally appropriate for people with
autism as anyone else.
Heterosexuality
Homosexuality
Bisexuality
Asexuality
Everyone has a piece of each. Its just a matter
of degree.
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex - Topics to Cover - Peter
Gerhardt
1. Public versus private behavior 2. Good touch
versus bad touch 3. Proper names for body
parts 4. Slang names for body parts 5. Personal
boundaries 6. Masturbation 7. Social skills and
relationship building 8. Avoiding danger and
abuse prevention 9. Dating skills 10. Personal
responsibilities and values
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Circle of Relationships
Develop a social narrative
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Friendship, Romance, and all that Other Stuff -
Teresa Bolick, Ph. D.
Before you talk about sex you need to talk about
closeness

• Listening is the most important skill for
  friendship and romance.
• Good hygiene is probably the second most
  important skill.
• Close friends talk with each other about life
  experiences.
• Close friends can agree to disagree.
• The most important part of boyfriend or
  girlfriend is friend.
• Showing interest in another person is a terrific
  way to flirt.
• Being revved up can get in the way of
  friendship and romance.

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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Friendship, Romance, and all that Other Stuff -
Teresa Bolick, Ph. D.

• Never touch a friend unless he or she says its
  all right.
• If you feel uncomfortable about someones actions
  (or your own), tell a trusted adult.
• LAST BUT NOT LEAST, Stop means Stop and No
  means No.

Those with autism are people too Perhaps just
more so.
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex Jerry Newport
When? Look for signs of interest Suggestive
clothing Stickers Books and
magazines Questions and comments Signs of
Masturbation
Great subject for incidental teaching!
Life-long conversation
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex Jerry Newport
How? Sex is a normal yet a very private act and
is clean. Discuss in a developmentally
appropriate manner - Find the balance between
not too much and not too little Make sure you
understand the question(s) being asked Explain
in a matter of fact manner
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex Jerry Newport
Helpful Hints for Discussion Use simple visual
aides to help explain male and female anatomical
functions- People with autism tend to be
visual. Sex is a part of growing up to be
discussed at the proper place and
time Responsibility in - Seeking- Having- Re
specting the wishes of potential and actual
partners
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex Jerry Newport
Helpful Hints for Discussion Validate feelings
of- Fear - Possible loneliness from being left
out socially For women especially using sex
as a way of gaining acceptance Share your own
experiences as appropriate- Successes- Mistakes
You are there to provide nonjudgmental support
in times of- Further questions- Emergencies
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A U T I S M S E X U A L I T Y
Talking About Sex Masturbation - Peter Gerhardt

• Redirecting Inappropriate Masturbation
• Interrupt the behavior as early in the chain as
  possible
• Remind the individual as to the parameters of
  time and place
• Redirect the person to
• A. activities requiring the use of both hands
• B. activities requiring preferred levels of
  attention, focus, or physical movement
• C. the appropriate place for that activity
• Make the alternate activity intrinsically
  reinforcing
• Consider scheduling alone time in their room if
  appropriate
• Avoid redirection to places other than an
  individuals bedroom (e.g. bathroom)

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Helping Sam Get a Date - Case Study
Relationships
Sam is 16 years old, plays the tuba, and has
recently taken notice of a cute flute player in
the band. He has shared with you that he would
like to get to know her better. Sam has told
you a number of time he would like to see more
of her and you sense that he just cant quite
bring himself to say that he wants an intimate
relationship. Hes even talked about the
possibility of marrying her. Sam also revealed
to you that she declined his offer to take her
out for a hamburger. As Sams confidant, what are
some things that you can suggest to Sam about
romantic relationships and how he might be able
to get a date?
Please do the following 1. describe what and
how you will tell him about intimate
relationships, and, 2. suggest how he might
increase his chances of success for a date,
and, 3. how to tell if she is not interested and
what to do about it.
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FRIENDSHIP, DATING, SEXUALITY
Talking About Sex Resources
Aston, M., The other half of Asperger
Syndrome. Hénault, I., Aspergers Syndrome and
sexuality From adolescence through
adulthood. Hendrickx, S. Love, sex and long-term
relationships What people with Asperger Syndrome
really really want. Lawson, W., Sex, sexuality
and the autism spectrum. Mesibov, G., The TEACCH
approach to autism spectrum disorders. Newport,
J. Newport, M., Autism-Aspergers and
sexuality Puberty and beyond. Shore, S.,
Rastelli, L., Understanding autism for dummies.
Sicile-Kira, C., Autism spectrum disorders The
complete guide to understanding autism,
Aspergers Syndrome, pervasive developmental
disorders, and others ASDs. Wrobel, M., Taking
care of myself A hygiene, puberty, and personal
curriculum for young people with autism.
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