Break the middle matzah, and put away the bigger piece fo

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Bangitout.coms 2006 Seder Sidekick

• In memory of Dr. Harold J.Galena ZL
• Bangitout.com is a the worlds most popular
  Jewish Comedy website

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2
Introduction!
Why is this man here?

• Start this baby off right, with some
• FUN SEDER SONGS!

To the Tune of Gilligan's IslandJust sit right
back and you'll hear a tale,A tale of a fateful
trip, That started when we were slaves,on our
exodus from Egypt Moses was a mighty holy
man,Aaron brave and sure.The Jewish
Nation escaped that night,For a three day tour,
a three day tour.The Egyptians started getting
rough, The Red Sea had no bridge to crossIf not
for the courage of the fearless Jew,Our nation
would be lost, our nation would be
lost.God split the sea and we came to shore to
start a new lifestyleWith Miriam,and
Aaron too,Under G-d's care we did
survive,Mosess lead, The Torah and our
Israel land Here on Passover Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To the tune of Hotel California On an Egyptian
desert highway Cool wind in our hair Warm smell
of mazohballs Rising up through the air. Up
ahead in the distance Theres no food in sight
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim Why
is this different then all other nights!?There
Elijah stood in the doorway I heard his dayanu
song And I was thinking to myself This could be
Heaven or Maagid prolonged!?Then I asked the 4
questionsThe hagadah taught me the way There
were voices for each 4 sons I thought I heard
them say Chorus Welcome to our Passover
SederSuch a lovely place Such a lovely place
(background) Theres no need to race! Plenty of
room at our Passover Table Its that time of
year Its that time of year (background) When
we cant serve Beer!When we cant serve Beer!
"The Matzah Show" to the Tune of the Muppet
ShowIt's time to burn some chometzIt's time to
bless the lightsIt's time to start the seder, on
the Matzah Show tonightIt's time to put
on kittelsIt's time to lean left, not rightIt's
time to raise the 4 cups, on the Matzah Show
tonightIt's time to ask some questionsIt's
time to leave Egypt tonightIt's time to get
things started on the most sensationalInspiration
al, celebrational, sederationalThis is what we
call the Matzah Show!!!!!(Discussion 1 How
could Kermit be a plague?)
The man above has NOTHING to do with your
seder! But we got you to start asking questions!
Woohoo!
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Introduction!

• Some more songs, cause heck some of us have two
  nights of this stuff!

To the Tune of the Brady Bunch Theme song Here's
the story of our great-grand Bubby and Zeide
Who were enslaved for about 210 years. All of
them were stuck in Egypt, with their Jewish
brothers, it was awfully hard work and bitter
tears. Heres their story, Lets call it a
Seder Which we tell about how they finally
broke free! God sent Moshe to deal with Pharoah,
and also to split the red sea. Till that one
day when God himself came to our rescueAnd they
knew it was much more than a hunch, That this
group of slaves would somehow form a nation.
That's the way we all became the Jewish Bunch.
The Jewish Bunch, That's the way we all became
the Jewish Bunch. The Jewish Bunch.
You are 100 Pesadic!!!
Welcome Back (Welcome back Kotter Theme
Song)Welcome back, (to the seder)Your parents
bought your ticket out. (to Miami)Welcome back,
(to the seder)To that same old grape juices
stained hagaddah that you laughed about.Well
the (kosher for Passover) brand names have all
changed since you hung around,But constipation
has remained stale taste is still
around.Who'd have thought youd know One? 
Who'd have thought youd know One?  Let me know
when Maggid is done Let me know when Maggid is
doneYeah we tease the seder a lot, but its the
best time Judiasms got, welcome back, welcome
back, welcome back, welcome back,  
To the "Growing Pains" TV Theme SongShow me that
matzah again. (Show me that matzah)Dont eat
another marror cause you'll be cryin.We're
nowhere near the end (nowhere near)The best is
Shulchan ORECH....Oooohhh. As long as we got
the sederWe got the hagada reading right in our
hands.Baby you and me, we gotta beThe luckiest
Hebrews who never quit dreamin.As long as we
keep on reading we can bless any cup that comes
our wayBaby, Chrain or Wine, all the timeWe got
each other Sharin the seder and love
Music takes you wherever you want to be the
Kotzker REbbe
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Seder Order!
Here are Ten Quick Cheesy Ways to Enhance your
Seder10. Two Words  Plague Charades9.  
Preface every paragraph by saying "DID YOU
KNOW..."8.   Go around the table mentioning
which of the 4 sons you'd like to date7.   Sing
Dayanu to the tune of Labamba (Di, Di, Di, Di Di
Aynu!)6.   To get kids really asking questions,
cancel Seder... in favor of Séance5.   Each
paragraph you read finish off with a reporter
sign off -  And now back to you, Elijah!4.  
Promise 1000 to the first kid who finds Moshe's
name in the Haggadah twice 3.   Ask, "If you
were an Egyptian stranded on an island, and you
could only have one plague for the rest of your
life which one would it be?"2.   Sing a Jewish
holiday song that has nothing to do with
Passover, see if anyone notices.1.   Spontaneous
Seder Table Wave

• list the order of events together!

Hit it!

• KADESH
• URCHATZ
• KARPAS
• YACHATZ
• MAAGID
• RACHZAH
• MOTZEI MATZAH
• MARROR
• KORECH
• SHULCHAN
• ORECH
• SAFOON
• BARAYCH
• HALLEL
• NIRTZAH

Top Ten Ways To Know the Guy your daughter
brought home for the Passover Seder isn't gonna
work out 10. Hides the afikomen in his pants 9.
Won't stop asking when the Latkas are going to be
served 8. When welcoming Elijah he checks the
chimney7. After fourth time calling your wife
"Ma' Nishtana" still hopes to get a laugh6. In
return for the Afikomen, he asks to see your Tax
Returns 5. To comply with the Hagadah, he
punches the person who reads the "Wicked Son" in
the mouth4. You are at the third cup of wine,
he's on number 93. After the afikomen is stolen,
he starts pocketing silverware 2. When everyone
points to the Marror, he points directly at you
1. As a gift, he brings fresh baked Challah
Q. Whats the reason for this predefined
structure of the evening? Shouldnt we be FREE
to talk and do whatever whenever we want!
Afterall, tonight we are FREE men!??? Perhaps
this quote from Abraham Lincoln will help us all
understand the answer "FREEDOM is not the right
to do what we want, but what we ought. Let us
have faith that right makes might and in that
faith let us to the end, dare to do our duty as
we understand it."
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Kadesh!

• Time to say the prayer and drink CUP 1!

Q. Red, Red, Wine.Stay close to me - Why Red
Wine, Bob?
Sure there is the whole symbolic looks like
blood thing (Jewish slaves or Pascal Lamb? You
make the call)- but the Ishbitzer Rav gives a
novel interpretation Wine, is the product of a
long process (the longer it takes, the more
expensive!) From the grape to the bottle, it goes
through some long hard processes. So too, the
Jewish Nation also requires a long process toward
perfection Egyptian slavery, then the desert,
then centuries of exile and persecution. Weve
been through a lot. But says the Ishbitzer, just
like wine, the results will be sweet. This is
precisely why we always use wine for all of our
holidays, a constant reminder to this idea (and
is the reason why if no wine is available on
shabbos, one should make Kiddush on the challah,
as bread too is an amazing product of a long hard
process) Cheers!
Q. Isnt Drinking is for Purim not Pesach?
Dont get bummed if you cant hold your wine. The
Avnei Nezer feels that Pesach is a continuation
to Purim. When the Talmud (Taanit 29a) says
When entering Adar, Increase your simcha, Rashi
explains that it applies to both months of
redemption, Adar and Nissan. This is a good
explanation why we celebrate Purim during the
second Adar in a leap year to keep Purim and
Pesach next to each other. Therefore, says the
Avnei Nezer, the wine is a continuation of the
celebration of Purim. But know when to say when,
four cups is enough
Now, as you get ready to start, check out your
dads threadsQ. Whats with the kittul (white
cloak worn by males), this aint yom kippur?! A.
Seders have a way of being waaaay too fun, (i.e..
4 cups of wine, wacky songs about goats, and
Afikomen robbery) The kittel, the garment that we
wear on serious occasions like Yom Kippur, Rosh
Hashana, your wedding and burial day, reminds us
that while having a blast, dont forget the
serious halachot (laws) that are required from us
of this spiritual seder night! Speaking of
spiritual, we also have this gear on to dress
the part of an angel - All white, all spiritual,
all the time (Anaheim Angels jerseys were
equally acceptable in 02)  The Kli Yakar has the
most amazing following explanation the whole
reason we were in Egypt in the first place was
the jealousy over the Colored Coat of Joseph. We
demonstrate our remorse for that resentment the
brothers had for one another, by simply wearing
white!
Cheesy Seder Joke Q What do you call a very
expensive Jewish wine? A "Honey, I
wannnnnnnnnaaa to go to Flaaaahridaah for da
seders this year!!!!! "
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Urchatz!

• Washing our hands for veggiesno brocha necessary!

Q. Wait, why are we washing our hands for
vegetables?At this point, you may think to
yourself, IM GONNA BE FREAKIN STARVING! knowing
this from past seders, you may feel the need to
munch down on as much Carpas as humanly possible.
(Carpas Eating Champion Seder 98) but tonight
you are a free man, you are not a slave. That
includes being a slave to your stomach! So we
push off our appetizer, and wash our hands to
demonstrate that we are not slaves to our
impulsive eating habits. Rav Nachman of Breslov
says the Hebrew word Rachitz in Aramaic means
Trust, because we should trust in Hashem, as we
wash now, that no matter what our meal consists,
of even if its just a little parsley twig, that
G-ds got our back when it comes to the
nourishment and survival of the Jewish people,
and there is more in store for us namely some
good brisket. Q. Why Wash? Let your HANDS take
the first step! R Yitzchak Mirsky, in his
Hegyoni Halachah Haggadah, writes about the
significance of Urechatz- of the additional
washing of ones hands before eating vegetables
on the night of the Seder.  In Mesachet Sottah 4B
it says, one who takes the Mitzvah of washing
ones hands lightly will be removed from the
world. The Baer Hatav comments that even if one
is normally vigilant about washing his hands
before eating bread  (and the Maateh Yosef  says
that this also applies to washing before eating
vegetables), but disregards this Mitzvah
purposely just one time, he is still liable to
the punishment set forth in the Gemarah. The
question arises though as to why the Gemarah
stipulates such a strict punishment, even for
missing the Mitzvah just once?! The Maharal
of Prague says that there is deep symbolism
involved when one washes his hands for the
purpose of a Mitzvah.  Hands represent the
beginning of the human body, for when one
stretches out his hands to reach forward or
above, it is the hands that are at the front or
at the top of the body. The Maharal explains that
that the way one begins an action greatly
influences the direction and tone of all that
follows from that point, and therefore, even a
seemingly insignificant sin, but one involving
the bodily leader, is particularly wrong, for a
misguided beginning will lead to an incomplete
and incorrect conclusion. On Pesach, the Maharal
continues, we should be extremely careful in our
observance of this idea, for Pesach is the annual
point of beginning for everything that exists, in
all times. At this time of beginning and
renewal, R Mirsky concludes, it is essential to
remind ourselves of the importance of a correct
beginning in any action and endeavor we
undertake- something which is symbolized by the
additional washing of our hands at the Seder. (R
Matt Kreiger, Monroe, NY)
A familiar song  to sing while you washYou put
your right hand in,You put your right hand
out,You put your right hand in and you wash it
all about,you do the Hamotzei Pokey and you dry
off your hands Thats what urchatz is all
about!  Huh, wheres the Bread?
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Karpas!

• Grab a veggie, dip it in saltwalter and say the
  brocha!

Story  When Rav Itzeleh Wooker observed one of
his students grabbing for the largest piece of
potato during Karpas, he said to him How can
tonight be a night of celebrating freedom, if you
are still an Eved  to a Potato!   (Side note
great band name Potato Slave)
Springtime for Karpas Q. Why is Passover in the
springtime?  This was no coincidence in fact it
was a blessing. G-d could have taken us out of
bondage in the cold of winter or the heat of
summer, but instead G-d took us out in perfect
weather, Spring!  The color green of karpas
reminds us of this small detail, and helps us
recognize that G-d went  above and beyond in
every aspect of our redemption, even the weather
forecast.
Q. Excuse me, Did you just double dip? An
interesting remembrance of dipping twice is to
recall our coming and going from Egypt. Recall
the first Jew to Egypt, Yosef, was sold by his
brothers. They masked the sale to their father by
dipping his coat in blood to appear that he was
killed. Its fitting then that we left Egypt with
a second dipping the hyssop branch into blood to
spread on our doorways before the final plague to
the firstborn. Good thing, nowadays, we just use
salt water  
Saltwater Taffy Q. Why Green in
Saltwater?Parsley, or whatever insane vegetable
minhag your seder is using, usually is of the
green persuasion, which is a color that
symbolizes growth and the continuous rebirth of
life. Well, that or God is one heck of a Boston
Celtics fan. We dip our green in the saltwater to
signify that life is growth, but even those
things which come up that appear bitter -- a bad
grade, a broken relationship, a boring seder --
are ultimately for the best. The distinction
between sweet and sour is only clear when we have
gone through both. Life is Tangy, like sweet and
sour chicken or saltwater taffy. Next year, let's
use Green Sour-Stix!
Give me a Kaf, Give me a Reish.....The letters
of the word Karpas hint to us to be giving people
to those in need Sounds Letter  Meaning Ka Kaf
Palm of hand R Reish One who is impoverished
Pa Peh Mouth S Samech To support
Stupid seder joke  Q. When it comes to Karpas,
who is the real KING of Passover?  A. Elvis
Parsley!!
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Yachatz!

• Break the middle matzah, and put away the bigger
  piece for the Afikomen

(to the tune of Kit Kat Bar)Gimme a Break
Gimmea BreakBreak me off a piece of that
Middle Matza PLEASE (Theme from The reality show
Apprentice, Money)Matzah Matzah Matzah
MatzahMatzah!
Breaking Up is Hard to do Yachatz means Break
apart, Yachad means Come together, the only
letter difference are the ending letters Daled
and Tzadik, which makes sense, since that spells
Dates. (Bangachuver Rav discourses)

• Q. Why 3 matza's -- Who knows Three? Why the
  Middle Matza?There are many 3's in Judaism
• Avraham, Yizchak, Yaakov
• Cohain, Levi, Yisroel,
• Bang, It, Out.
• Can you name 3 more??

• Why do we break the Matzah?
• Its the way of the poor man to store something
  for later who knows where his next meal will
  come from?
• Pieces of broken crackers can it get any more
  Poor mans Bread?
• Rabbi Shlomo Riskin Shlita mentions one of the
  reasons the matza is broken is because we are
  celebrating only partial salvation- until our
  full redemption to Jerusalem we will never have
  complete Matzah!

The Incredible, Edible Egg! Sure its high in
protein, but there has got to be a better reason
to take an Egg-break. Bang this an Egg is one of
the few foods that hardens when you heat it up.
So are the Jews The slavery and persecution we
have endured throughout the years has only
strengthened our longevity and eternal connection
with Hashem. Want my yolk?
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Magid gtgt Ha Lachma Anya

• Talk, Discuss QUESTION the exodus!

Seder Story
Two Brothers One Rich, One Poor returned home
with their large families to attend the wedding
of their youngest sibling. The rich brother
dressed his children in the finest that Sachs has
to offer for the wedding. The poor brothers kids
were all in tattered handmedowns. When the rich
son finally presented his decked out family to
his father, his father looked down in
disapproval. But Father, said the rich son, I
spent all this money on these clothes to bring
YOU honor, afterall this is Your day!! The
Father looked at him with a DA Adam Schiff face
and said You want to bring Me honor, than
ensure all my children have something. Not just
your own So to on Passover, we might be banging
out a great lavish seder, but to bring real
honor to Hashem it behooves us to ensure all of
our brothers well beinghence Ha Lachma Anya
(mashal told over to us by Rabbi Don Blumberg
Shlita)
Q Bread of our Affliction?- What happened to the
Freedom aspect? Didnt we just mention that
Matzah has two symbolisms?  It was the poor bread
that we were forced to eat during our bitter
years of slavery in Egypt. And it was the bread
of redemption that we had we ate as we hastened
us out of Egypt into freedom! Why is only one of
these mentioned here? And if only one is to be
mentioned, surely the more appropriate one would
be the positive one? Discuss....
Scizophrenia!!! Everything tonight has a dual
aspect to it Slavery and Freedom -  spend a few
minutes before you start and figure out if you
can explain the dual meanings to the following
essential Seder things
Shankbone Someone complaining the soup is too
salty Karpas Someone mispronouncing the word
Gamliel, Chaldean, Aramite Egg Afikomen
Blackmail Imaginary visit from Elijah Plagues
Matzah Marror Wine Kittul Strange Uncle
making offbeat comments Outstretched Arm Blood
Frogs Actually listening and talking to your
family Goats/Lambs Burning your mouth out with
super hot marror
Cheesy Seder Joke A British Jew is waiting in
line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel
in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin
when she taps him on the shoulders with her
sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in
the excitement of the moment and forgets the
Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only
other sentence he knows in a foreign language,
which he remembers from the Passover seder  "Ma
nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and
whispers, "Why is this knight different from all
other knights?"
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Magid gtgt Mah Nishtana

• 4 Questions time!!!! ASK AWAY!

Some More questions? JEWISH JEOPARDY! We give
the answer, you give the question! A Midrash
Q What is a Middle east Skin disease? A The
Gaza Strip Q What is an Egyptian Belly Dance?
A A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and a latke
Q What are a cheder, a seder, and a tater? A
Sofer Q On what do Jews recline on Passover?
A Babylon Q What does the rabbi do during
some sermons? A Filet Minyan Q What do you
call steaks ordered by 10 Jews? A Kishka,
sukkah, and circumcision Q What are a gut, a
hut and a cut? And speaking of circumcisions An
enterprising Rabbi is offering circumcisions via
the internet. The service is to be called...
"E-MOIL." (forwarded to bangitout.com by
Elisheva Cantor)
Q The entire night is all about questions - From
The 4 questions to WHO KNOWS 1? Why all the ????
The Dubna Magid explains that when someone asks a
questions about something it shows their true
interest in knowing about it. They always tell
you at the end of a job interview to have a
question preparedbecause it shows your true
interest in the job. Questions express your
interest in this whole Judaism thing. Let this be
a night of questions, and lets hope this kicks
off your year for exploration into the millions
of other questions you have about Judaism!
Questions Breed Questions Noam Zion makes an
important and interesting observation about the
importance of questions, and links the Mah
Nishtana to the Four Sons. It isn't always
important how much you know or what you learned
-sometimes the most important part of the
pedagogic process is which questions you ask (and
which you don't).  However, it isn't just
important to have a question, but to have someone
who will take it seriously and give a thoughtful
response.  You can only ask a good question if
you feel you are respected and taken seriously. 
Perhaps it's important to encourage children (and
adults) to ask all manner of questions at the
seder and not just the ones programmed into the
evening.  Questions breed questions...which will
lead to more learning! ASK AWAY!!! (Edie Aviva
Molot, Jerusalem Israel)
"There is nothing more irrelevant than the
answer to a question that was never asked!"
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Magid gtgt Mah Nishtana
French Pourquoi cette nuit est-il différente de
toutes autres nuits ? Sur toutes nuits que nous
ne trempons pas même une fois, sur cette nuit que
nous trempons deux fois ? Sur toutes nuits nous
mangeons du pain ou matzah, et sur cette nuit
seulement matzah ? Sur toutes nuits nous
mangeons n'importe quel genre de légumes, et sur
ces herbes amères du soir ! Sur toutes nuits que
nous mangeons asseyant le montant ou reposer, et
sur cette nuit nous tout repose ! German Warum
diese Nacht verschieden von allen anderen Nächten
ist? Auf allen anderen Nächten tauchen wir sogar
einmal, wir an dieser Nacht nicht ein eintauchen
zweimal? Auf allen anderen Nächten essen wir
Brot oder matzah, und auf dieser Nacht nur
matzah? An allen anderen Nächten essen wir
irgendeine Art der Gemüse, und an dieser Nacht
bittere Kräuter! An allen anderen Nächten essen
wir sitzend aufrecht oder zurücklehnen, und an
dieser Nacht wir alle lehnen zurück!
Italian Perché questa notte è diversa da tutte
le altre notti? Su tutte le altre notti che non
immergiamo anche una volta, su questa notte che
immergiamo due volte? Su tutte le altre notti
mangiamo il pane o il matzah, e su questa notte
questo soltanto matzah? Su tutte le altre notti
mangiamo qualunque tipo di verdure, e su queste
erbe di notte amare! Su tutte le altre notti che
mangiamo sedendo dritto o reclina, e su questa
notte noi tutti postura reclinata! Dutch Waarom
is deze nacht verschillend van alle andere
nachten? Op alle andere nachten dalen wij zelfs
eenmaal, wij op deze nacht niet dalen tweemaal?
Op alle andere nachten eten wij brood of matzah
en op deze nacht enkel matzah? Op alle andere
nachten eten wij enig soort van groenten en op
deze nacht bittere kruiden! En op alle andere
nachten eten wij zitten recht of leunen en op
deze nacht wij iedereen leunt! Norweigan Hvorfor
er denne natt forskjellig fra all annen natter?
På all annen natter vi ikke dypper selv en gang,
på denne natt vi dypper to ganger? På all annen
natter vi eter brød eller matzah, og på denne
natt bare matzah? På all annen natter vi eter
noe type av grønnsaker, og på denne natt bitter
urter! På all annen natter vi eter sitte
opprettstående eller reclining, og på denne natt
vi all recline! Potuegese Por que esta noite é
diferente de todas as outras noites? Em todas as
outras noites nós não fazemos mergulho mesmo uma
vez, nesta noite nós mergulho duas vezes? Em
todas as outras noites nós comemos pão ou matzah,
e nesta noite único matzah? Em todas as outras
noites nós comemos qualquer tipo de verduras, e
nesta noite ervas amargas! Em todas as outras
noites que nós comemos sentand-nos inclinar
ereto, e nesta noite que todos inclinamos!
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12
Magid gtgt Mah Nishtana
The Ma Nishtana in Ebonics Why iz dis here night
be different from all otha nights, ya dig
sucka? On all otha nights o' da year we's eat
breads an' matzzile an' dis here night we's only
eat stale matzas? beeotch On all da otha nights
o' da new years we's eat all types o' greens an'
on dis here night we's eat marror? slap mah fro!
On all other nights o' da year we's never dip,
but on dis here night we's dip twice? dang On all
other nights o' da year we's be sitting or
reclining laid back, but on dis here night we's
lean way back?     The Ma Nishtana by SNOOP
DOG "Why is it thizzle on all othizzle nizzle
durizzle thizzle yizzle wizzle eizzle eizzle
brizzle or mizzle but on thizzle nizzle wizzle
eizzle only mizzle "Why is it thizzle on all
othizzle nizzle wizzle eizzle all kizzle of
hizzle but on thizzle nizzle wizzle eizzle only
bizzle hizzle "Why is it thizzle on all othizzle
nizzle wizzle do not dizzle our hizzle evizzle
oncizzle but on thizzle nizzle wizzle dizzle
thizzle twizzle "Why is it thizzle on all
othizzle nizzle wizzle eizzle eizzle sizzle or
rizzle but on thizzle nizzle wizzle eizzle in a
rizzle posizzle The Ma Nishtana in Yiddish  
Tateh (or zayde), ikh vill dir fregen die vier
kashes. Der Ershte kashe ikh vill dir fregenFar
vus is der nakht von Pesakh andisht von alle
nakht von a ganze yahr? Far vus alle nakht von a
ganze yahr as mir villen, essen mir khometz, und
as mir villen, essen mir matzoh, aber der nakht
von Pesakh essen mir nur matzoh? Aber kein
khometz turen mir nisht essen. Hab ikh dir
gefregt ein kashe. Der zweite kashe ikh vill dir
fregen Far vus alle nakht von a ganze yahr as
mir villen essen mir bissere grinsen, und as mir
villen essen mir zissergrinsen? Aber der nakht
von Pesakh essen mir nur bissere grinsen. Hab ikh
dir gefregt zwei kashes. Der dritte kashe ikh
vill dir fregen Far vus alle nakht von a ganze
yahr tinken mir ein mul ekhnit eyn? Aber der
nakht von Pesakh tinken mir eyn zwei mul? Ein mul
tsibele in zalz vasser, und der zweite mul khrain
and kharoset. Hab ikh dir gefregt drei kashes.
Der vierte kashe ikh vill dir fregen Far vus
alle nakht von a ganze yahr as mir willen essen
mir ziztendik, und as mir willen essen mir
ungeshpart? Aber der nakht von Pesakh essen mir
alle ungeshpart? Yetzt hab ikh dir gefregt alle
vier kashes. Heint entfir mir ein tiretz von alle
vier kashes. Spanish Por qué es esta noche
diferente de todas las otras noches? En todas
las otras noches que nosotros no mojamos aún una
vez, en esta noche que mojamos dos veces? En
todas las otras noches nosotros comemos pan o
matzah, y en esta noche sólo matzah? En todas
las otras noches nosotros comemos cualquier clase
de verduras, y en esta noche hierbas amargas!
En todas las otras noches que comemos sentarse
vertical o recostar, y en esta noche que todos
nosotros nos recostamos!
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13
Magid gtgt Avadim Hayinu
Q Whats so bad about being a Slave? I mean
cmon, youre helping someone, right? The Dubna
Maagid explains that the worst part of the Jewish
peoples Avodah Kasha hard back breaking labor
wasnt the fact that it was eh, hard and back
breakingrather the worst and most painful part
was the purposelessness of the Jewish peoples
workThe Egyptians tortued the Jewish people
mentally as well as physically. Afterall there is
value in building a pyramid, but for it to be
destroyed again and again for the humor of
vicious Egypitan slavemaster is tortuous. Someone
who is engaged with doing nothing of purpose with
their days may be as enslaved, as depressed, and
as miserable as the Jewish People in EgyptWe
should ensure that our lives have meaning,
progress and most of all purpose in whatever we
do! (based on R Wilensky lecture)
Eygpt Asphyxiation of the soul. The word for
Egypt in Hebrew is Mitzrayim. Those same letters
produce Metzarim -- boundaries. Mitzrayim
represented not only a profoundly debased
spiritual level, but limitations. If you don't
have room to breathe, life can begin to feel
suffocating, like the mikvah on erev rosh
hashana. Pesach is the holiday for breaking
through those limitations, for breaking free of
all those things that imprison us, for moving
through the spiritual barriers, peer pressures
and distractions that life (and Tivo) can throw
at us. If we realize that this is the time to
feel alive again then the next 8 days will be
like waking up to no school on a snow day.
FREEDOM!
PASSOVER BEHIND BARS A R' Pesach Krohn Story
Rabbi Arye Levene ZTL, the famous Jerusalem
rabbi known as the Tzaddick in our Time for his
unparalleled kindness, used to frequently visit
Jewish inmates in prisons in Jerusalem
(Grandfather of the great R Abraham Levene
Shlita of Lower Merion, PA) . After Pesach he
asked the prisoners if they were able to have a
real Passover Seder in their incarcerated state.
They responded Yes, everything was exactly the
same, except when it came time for the cup of
Elijah they didnt let us open the front
doors!!!!! "And what about freedom, did you
feel like free men? asked Rabbi Levene.  The
inmates, locked behind bars, were a bit
confused.  Rabbi Levene explained that a true
free man isnt necessary a physical thing, but
rather a mental state. Someone who is free is
someone who has full control over his own
thoughts and ultimately his actions. No urge,
passion or external influence has any power over
a free mans man. Freedom, Chairus, doesnt mean
life of Hefkerut (lawlessness), it is means a
life of true control over ones thoughts,
desires, and actions. No matter where one is,
being free is all a state of mind.   
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14
Magid gtgt Maaseh BBnai Brak

• Explains what we are doing here

Q. Who is Visiting Who?
R Akiva lived in Bnae Brak. But R Akiva was R
Eliezers student! Why the was the senior R
Eliezier whos hometown was in Lud home of
the Sanhedrin coming to visit his students
house?? Shouldnt it be the other way around?
Making this question even more puzzling is the
talmud Succah 33B, where R Eliezer stated he
never goes away for Yom Tov!! Whats the
dealeo? Why suddenly was there an all night
torah slumber party at R Akivas house? The
answer is that these rabbis all lived in the
generations that directly followed the
destruction of the temple, a very dark and sad
time for our people. No one kept the optimism and
the excitement for better times like R Akiva -
as described in the end of the Talmud in Makkos
which explains how R Akiva was able to see the
best things (3rd Temple) in the worst situations
(animals in the temple ruins). For this reason,
he became the spiritual anchor of his time, and
all the rabbis came to R Akiva for gain from his
unbeatable faith and optimism. Note Check the
last letters of each word in the pasuk oR zaruA
latzadicK, ulyishraI LaV SimchA Its R A K I V
A! - anyone who can see the best in the worst
situation shows the endurance of a true
believer a true tzadik.
Q Is there any point in this All night learning
in Bnei-Brak?  Throw me a bone here! (shankbone
preferably) The  5 Rabbis (Rabbi Eliezer, Rabbi
Yehoshua, Rabbi Elazar Ben Azaryah, Rabbi Akiva,
and Rabbi Tarfon) who sat up all night in Bnei
Brak discussing the seder, until their alarm
clock students came to inform them that it was
time to say the morning Kriat Shema.  The
length of their exposition is extraordinary unto
itself, but even more amazing when you see who
these Rabbis are.  Their names appear throughout
the Talmud, so it is no surprise that they can
engage in lengthy discourse on matters of
Judaism.  But this particular conversation was
important, because as they went over the
Haggadah, telling of how Hashem had saved their
forefathers, they could have technically been
called liars.  Yep. L I A R S. See, none of them
were descended from slaves.  All of their
ancestors had either been converts, who obviously
had not been in Egypt at the time, or from the
tribe of Levi (including Kohanim), which Egypt
had exempted from slavery, as the Priestly
class.  So while we are commanded to see
ourselves as if we, today, were being brought out
of Egypt like our forefathers, these Sages would
have thought back to their ancestors lives of
relative luxury!  How could they possibly be so
involved in a story that didnt directly concern
them or their family! From here, we learn a
powerful lesson about Passover, and ourselves. 
The Jewish people is one entity- though we have
different names, and occupy (vastly) different
branches of the family tree, we are still
inter-connected, and our fates inextricably tied
to one another.  If one Jew suffers, than it is
incumbent upon all of us to alleviate that
suffering. (Of course, though possibly on a
different level, the same applies to all mankind-
we share our world and origins, and are required
to help anyone we can).  Something that happens
to our proverbial neighbor most definitely
concerns us.  This unity of experience, and
consequent unity of purpose, should drive us
every day, just as it drove those Rabbis, who
rather than saying, At least my family wasnt
enslaved, proclaimed, My people was enslaved-
my brethren were oppressed- let us celebrate
their redemption and ours, and let us pray for
G-d to redeem us again! And indeed that is the
lesson of Passover- the Jewish people seem to be
the most adept in the world at drawing lines
between one Jew and his fellow.  We incorrectly
allow our external differences to indicate that
we are different inside, as well- and thus we are
enslaved by our own conflicts.  Let us learn the
lessons of the seder- free ourselves from our
self-imposed slavery by recognizing that unity in
our people can bring the ultimate redemption.
(Steven Schwartzberg, NY, NY )
"We who officially value FREEDOM of speech above
life itself seem to have nothing to talk about
but the weather." - Barbara Ehrenreich
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15
Magid gtgt Elazar Ben Azarya

• When do we need to eat the Pascal Lamb?

Q I am like a man of 70?  Huh? Gemara in
Brachos tells us the background of this quote. 
Rav Elazar ben Azaria, was actually an 18 year
old Talmudic genius, and he had been chosen to
become the Nasi (President of the Rabbinate).
When he came home and told his wife, she tried
very hard to dissuade him from accepting the
offer because of all of the headaches associated
with the gig.  He then tells her  "Should one
not drink out of a crystal glass for fear of it
breaking?" ( yes, that is up there for the
coolest Talmud oneliners of all time). Bottom
line  You can't use the possibility of something
going wrong as an excuse to not try it out. 
Which ultimately led his wife to say to him But
even so, how can you be the Nasi, you're beard
isn't even white!.. That night Hashem turned
Rabbi Elazar Ben Azaryahs beard white as
indicated in the HagaddahI am Like a man of
Seventy Years old Keshivim shana (he was only 18
but suddenly overnight he looked like he was
70).  Remember this You want something bad
enough, nothing can hold you back, the Ribono
ShelOlam makes sure of it.  (Michael Parker, Los
Angeles, CA)
Im actually 18 going on 70
Q Not until I heard the words of Ben Zoma  As
mentioned above R Elazar Ben Azarya was only 18
when he was appointed head of the rabbinate! In
our hagadah it describes how he learned the
source of the mitzvah of mentioning the exodus at
night comes from a teaching of a sage named Ben
Zomabut whats also interesting about this
seemingly arbitrary reference is that Ben Zoma is
well known for another classical sagely teaching
from Pirkei Avos Ben Zoma Said Who is Wise?
One who learns from every man! It is possible
that R Elaza Ben Azarya was actually crediting
Ben Zoma for this sagely advice! As R Elazar
Benn Azarya was certainly intimidated to take the
responsibility of the nasi at such a young age.
But once he learned the teaching of Ben Zoma,
that wisdom has nothing to do with age, its
ones ability to learn from any situation and
from any person that makes a wise man. This
teaching may have inspired R Elazar Ben Azarya
to step up to the plate and achieve the greatness
hed been chosen for to lead the Jewish people
Q. Why did the matzah quit his job? A. Because he
didn't get a raise!!
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16
Magid gtgt Boruch Hamakom

• Explains what we are doing here

Blessorama!? Rabbi Shimon Shwab asks the
question, what is with the Name Makom used here
as G-d's name, usually the name "Makom" is used
in moments of terrible loss. For example, in the
house of a mourner one uses the term HaMakom
Yinachaym Etchem  May G-d Comfort you..."
Another instance, is in the verse of Acheyinu
Kol Bais Yisroel .Hamakom Yirachaym Alayhem,"
which speaks about G-d helping out Israel from
our lowest times. So what's the deal? That name
seems to be only used in places where you think
G-d is not. And judging by all the learning,
discussion and cheesy bangitout Torah jokes
tonight, G-d is certainly in da house! Rabbi
Shwab clears it up for us with the following -
Really we invoke the name of Makom in times when
we need to recognize most that G-d has a master
plan for us even when we are at our wit's end,
during the most confusing and hardest moments in
life.  We realize that in some way it is all for
the best, and we praise G-d with this name at
those instances. At the seder, when we mention an
Evil Son, the Rasha one might be quick to think
that Judaism just gives up on those kids. Not so
- in fact we praise G-d here for those type of
kids. The Hagadah invokes the name of Hamakom
here to remind us that even for the most far off,
terrible and seemingly hopeless of children, we
are reminded that G-d has an ultimate plan.  SO
BLESS TO THAT  
Some Additional Ten Cheesy PASSOVER SEDER
Enhancers10 When that Dayanu song begins, so
does the musical chairs game9. Each time the
word "Egypt" is mentioned you and grandma do a
shot of Manishevitz 8. Following every long
paragraph, you break in to a quick stanza of "ONE
IS HASHEM!" 7. When someone asks a question, you
answer with a Magic Eight Ball6. Bnei Brak
Learning paragraph is a good time for a Lionel
Ritchie's "All Night Long" sing along 5. Keep
asking for Latkas 4. Go around the table and
have the grandparents which one of the SONS they
were like when they were kids. 3. Sing Britney
Spears' "Slave for you" at any point during the
seder 2. Instead of hiding the afikomen, you eat
it. 1 The obvious Walk like an Egyptian
Rabbi Nachman of Breslov writes that Reciting
the Haggadah in a loud voice (be-kol ram) is a
form of tikkun ha-bris, rectification of the
Covenant therefore the louder you are the
better!
Q Why do we have an Haggadah at Passover? A So
we can Seder right words. Q What do you call
someone who derives pleasure from the bread of
affliction? A A matzochist.
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17
Magid gtgt 4 Sons!

• 4 Sons are Based on Actual text in the Torah

Top Ten Other Sons left out of the Passover Seder
10. The "30-year-old-still-single" Son, If he
would just get a date, Dayienu9.  The
Brovender's Daughter just home for Pesach, ready
to prove she's smarter than all 4 sons put
together 8. The Alcoholic Son, "Can we get a
little more wine in this Charoset please?"7. The
"Watching TV during the 2nd Seder" Son, who just
announced he is making aliyah (after learning the
NHL playoffs conflict)6. The Moshav Granola Son,
who finds the murdering of innocent parsley
stalks offensive5. The "Scummy" Son, who is so
bad that yeshivish girls can't help but find him
attractive4. The "Fallen off the face of the
Planet" Son, nobody knows where he has been but
always shows up for the holidays with new facial
hair3. The Feminine Son, who asks "Does anyone
mind if I sing Mah Nishtana to the tune of Rent?"
(Why is my son different from all other sons?)2.
The "I love long D'var Torahs so that I can brag
to my friends how late my seder went" Son 1. The
Miami Beach Sun
The Four Sons ITS A FAMILY AFFAIR! The Missing
Son The Lubovitcher Rebbi ZTL always said there
is a fifth son we must also teach, that is the
son who doesnt even make it to the seder table
dinner.
Do you know 1? How about 366? Got Math? Lets
see Jews dont do violence whats with
knocking out the wicked sons teeth? Its to
teach him a lesson. The numerical value of Rasha
(Wicked) is 570. The numerical value of Tzadik
(Righteous) is 204. Q Whats the difference
between the two?  A The wicked sons teeth!
(Sheinav) 366. The Wicked son is sitting at the
seder table and not listening to the story or the
message of Passover. He is actively excluding
himself with his statements (What is this that
you are doing?) What do you do to get him to
stop making snide remarks? Keep him quiet by
taking out his teeth. If the Wicked son lost his
teeth (570-366) hed pay attention to the
miracles, begin to understand why we are doing
the seder, and maybe get a big righteous (204!)  
Rabbi Aaron Soloveichik always points out how
strange it is that 3 of the sons are described by
their intellect and one (the Rasha) by his moral
activity, or lack thereof His answer is that the
TAM (Simple Son) is actually supposed to be TAMIM
the (Pure Son). So that actually its The Wise
Son vs. The One Who Doesnt know how to Aks who
face off and the Evil Son vs. the Pure Son face
off. Which evens out the playing field!
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a
fool, than to open your mouth and remove all
doubt." - Groucho Marx
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18
Magid gtgt Started with Idol Worship!
Top Ten Most Popular Jewish Questions of all
Time 10. Are you sure you had enough to eat?   9.
How long ago did we eat meat? 8. Why arent you
married yet? 7. What time did Shabbos start?6.
But is it a hot Kiddush?  5. Do you take credit
card? 4. You paid how much?! 3. What kind of
question is that?2. Mincha?  1.  Oh, youre
from (fill in any city in the world), Do you
know.?

• While dad checks out this Lost photo
• it might be a good time to snag the afikomen

Matzah and Chometz - the difference one letter
can make The difference between chometz and
matzah is one letter Hay/Ches - just one line,
that if you connect them would make them the same
word - it can be confusing. In the same vien,
sometimes things in life aren't always clear and
there is a grey area between what is real
(matzah) and what is fluff (chometz). The word
"matzah" has a Hay in it, which is the letter
that hinges on the little yud, representing
Hashem, and the 10 (yud) could also stand for the
ten commandments (not to mention the bangitout
top ten). If we remember that the little yud is
our foundation, behind everything we do we have
the spark of Hashem behind our intentions, then
our actions and decisions will always be guided
on the right path.
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19
Magid gtgt vHee Sheamdah

• Explains what we are doing here

Q Wrong Parsha!! Shouldnt we be reading Exodus?
An Aramean Sought to do Destroy us is from
Deutoronomy!? Anyone have any clue where this
quote is originally from? It is actually found in
the Torah (dvarim 265) in regards to Bikkurim,
the commandment to bring your first fruits to the
Temple. (Which seems strange, as if you were
going to tell the story of the Exodus, youd
think wed be reading from Exodus!) So, as my 8th
grade rebbi used to ask, whats that got to do
with the price of tea in China? (regional
variant Bejip) There is a close connection
between bikkurim and the seder night. Both are
offerings of thanks to G-d for his generosity!
Saving our lives from Egypt, and blessing us with
fruit! R Yerachamiel Yisroel of Alexander says
that both mitzvot have a Talking obligation, by
bikkurim the commandment is to respond and
declare praise when bringing your fruit goodies,
so too on seder night, where we are all about
talking. The more one talks, the more
praiseworthy! Hey thats the name of the holiday
Peh  Sach The mouth speaks!
To the "Charles in Charge" Theme songNew Pharoah
in the neighborhoodDoesn't Remember Yosef, and
it's understood.Hes there, just to keep us in
slavery,Like we're one of his avadim....Pharoah
in ChargeOf our days and our nightsPharoah in
ChargeOf Pitom and RamsaisAnd I sing, I
want,I want Moshe in Charge of me. Pharoah in
ChargeOf our kids and our wivesPharoah in
ChargeOf our jobs and our livesAnd I sing, I
want,I want Hakoadosh Baruch Hu in Charge of
me.I want Hakoadosh Baruch Hu in Charge of me.
To the "Different Strokes" Theme song 
Now, on Pesach you gotta remove - all our bread
even the crumbs, What might be clean for you,
may not be clean for your mom. Two sons are
born, they are one diverse team (wise and evil)
 Then along come two, they've got no clue what
anything means.  And we've got, 4 Diff'rent
Sons. It takes, 4 Cups of Wine. It takes, 4
Diff'rent Questions to move the world.
 Everybody's got a special kind of
customEverybodys got 4 cups of wine, Steal the
afikomen, don't get caughtIf you do, so
what, Lean on your chairs, invite the poor, and
we'll have wine. And together we'll be
fine....  And we've got, 4 Diff'rent Sons. It
takes, 4 Cups of Wine. It takes, 4 Diff'rent
Questions to move the world.
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20
Magid gtgt Say Ulemad
Story Time! There was once a crazed man who
broke into to the study of the Maharal of Prague.
He whipped out a knife and said, I hear you can
do miracles, old Man, lets see you jump out this
window before I stab you! The Maharal looked up
from his study and replied, That is no miracle. 
Come outside and I will show you how I can jump
up to the window! The man was convinced and once
they walked outside, the insane man was easily
apprehended.    This ability of the Jewish
people to spring up from the depths has been
evidenced throughout our history. (cue the
Klezmer background music)  Numerous nations have
fallen and we have persevered. Jews have reversed
the pattern of falling from avdut to chairyt time
and again most recently from the Holocaust to
Israeli Statehood. (cue the Israeli Yoya
background music)   We have an extra month, Adar
Sheni,  to ensure that Pesach is in the Spring- a
time of rebirth, when nature which seems lifeless
in winter comes alive again. So too, we as a
nation affirm that we can arise from the
depths.       Examining the 4 questions of the
Ma Nishtana of course prompts more questions, one
of which relates to this concept of rebirth.  How
do we as a people transition from a state of
oppression- symbolized by the matzah and maror
mentioned in the 1st question- to a state of
freedom- symbolized by the dipping and leaning
referred to in the last questions?  Perhaps, the
answer can be found in the words of the Hagaddah
that shortly follow the Ma Nishtana "Tzei
U'lemad" ("Go and Learn"). Although it may take a
lifetime to grapple with this question and come
to some type of understanding, Pesach, a time of
renewal, is a good time to start. (Suri
Grussgott, Philadelphia, Pa)
GO OUT AND LEARN? WHERE WE GOING?? Our Hagada
begins with the phrase, Tzei Ulemad Mah Bikesh
Lavan Ha'arami La'asot. Two questions emerge.
Why begin with the word Tzei, which literally
means go out? Learning generally takes place
within the home and not outside. This is
particularly true during the Seder night when we
were told V'ish Lo Tetzei Mifteach Beito, man was
not to leave his house in Mitzraim. Rav
interprets the phrase Ein Maftirin Achar
Hapesach Afikoman as Shelo Yakru Mechaburah
Lechaburah, that one should not leave his group
after consuming the Korban Pesach (Pesachim
119b). Why, then, would we begin the paragraph
with the directive Tzei? Second, why do we
insert this paragraph immediately following V'he
She'amdah Lavoteinu V'lanu?We find the word
Tzei used in Parshat Noach following the flood.
Hashem instructs Noach, Tzei Min Hatevah, Leave
the ark. Why was it necessary for Hashem to
instruct Noach to leave the ark? One would have
expected that once the water receded Noach would
have left the ark even without a command from
Hashem. Apparently, Noach contemplated the
option of remaining in the ark. Having witnessed
an entire world destroyed as a result of moral
corruption, Noach doubted whether it was worth
investing the effort to rebuild the world. If
the world is going to be destroyed a second time,
why bother rebuilding it? Hashem had to implore
Noach to leave the ark and begin the
reconstruction of the world. A similar theme
emerges in the context of the Seder. We have
just stated Shelo Echad Bilvad Amad Aleinu
Lichloteinu. Not only did Paroh rise and
attempt to destroy us, the Spaniards, the Poles,
and the Germans all have tried to eradicate Am
Yisrael. Many have regrettably said, Be a Jew at
home and a general citizen when interacting with
society. Yaakov may have felt this way when he
was about to encounter Esav having just escaped
the clutches of Lavan. But Yaakov responded, I
lived with Lavan, but I kept the 613 Mitzvot. Go
out to the world and make a resounding statement
that with the assistance of Hashem we will repel
each challenge and to remain a vibrant, unique
people dedicated to the word of Hashem.(derived
from Rabbi Yosef Adler Kol Torah TABC)
"I understand the importance of bondage between
parent and child." - Dan Quayle.
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21
Magid gtgt Dam Aish VSimros Ashan!

• We drip a drop of wine from our cups for each of
  these three things

Q. Why do we do anything special for these three
things Blood, Fire and Pillar of Smoke?
This is a quote from Yoel, which speaks of the
WONDERS that Hashem will do in the future. There
are those who say that one must drip out 16 dorps
of wine, as it has a lot of significane for
exampe there are those who say the 16 drops
corresponds to the 16 sided sword of HKB"H (see
Yalkut Shimoni, Tehillim 31717), which
corresponds to the 16 aliyot (Torah sections
read) during the week. Shemot 153 begins with a
yud and ends with a vav (yud and vav equalling
16) and describes Hashem as a warrior. This
quoted by Eliezer ben Moshe HaDarshan as an
allusion to the sword. While there are varying
opinions as to why the wine is spilled, the great
Spanish commentator, the Abrabanel, explained
that one should remove wine from the cup because
wine is a sign of rejoicing, and one should not
rejoice when an enemy falls. How the wine is
spilled varies from family to family some pour
the wine out directly from the cup and some flick
the wine out with their finger. Really depends
on what kind of stain you want on your plate,
tablecloth, hagadah and naturally, brand new
white kitul. ? Many authorities also stress not
to, get this, LICK YOUR FINGERS afterwards! (even
if you are starving) For that would signify
taking pleasure in someone elses pain. right on!
Q Pesach and TishaBav Always come out on the
same day - WHY? Heck, the Egg in saltwater is a
tradition we do before fast days! The first half
of the seder feels does feel like a fast but
com'on? The answer lies in the last line of the
Hagadah, if you make it up that late. We say
'Next year in Jerusalem' Why? Because the temple
was destroyed and we want to get back to that
time of sino steak sadwiches (from Normans?) and
beer in ole Jerusalem. But how do we get to the
days of old? The Haggadah has the answer (to
everything I think). Think back Why was the
temple was destroyed Baseless hatred. ie, when a
group of brothers hate one enough to fake his
death and sell him to slavery. That is the first
dipping of the night (Josephs coat in the blood).
If we learn from our mistakes that got us into
this mess, we can learn to fix it and be unified,
like the eged (hyssop branch) which we dipped the
blood to paint our doorposts at the time of
redemption. The eged, which btw means unity, is
the key. A night like the seder that brings us
together is bringing us one meal closer to
plowing El Gouchos 22oz steaks in the times of
moshiach.
Freedom is not an unlimited license, an unlimited
choice, or an unlimited opportunity. Freedom is
first of all a responsibility before the God from
whom we come. --Alan Keyes
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22
Magid gtgt 10 Plagues!

• Recite the ten plagues and drip some wine out
  with your finger out for all the lost Egyptian
  Homies

To the Theme of "Happy Days"Dam, Tzafadaya,
unhappy plagues,Kinim, Arbah, unhappy
plagues,Dever, Schin, unhappy plagues,Darkness
comes, what a plague,Will you finally free
the Jews?!This Passover is oursLet My People
Go. (Oh Happy Plagues)No more slavery scars (Oh
Happy Plagues)Oh please spill some wine.Hello
Moses, goodbye slaves,Pharoah's gonna give in,
he's gotta be insane.You finally ready to be a
free man?Don't forget your chocolate
macaroon can.This Passover is oursPour me some
wine. (Oh Happy Plagues)Egyptians have SARS (Oh
Happy Plagues)Oh, afikomen please be mine Dam,
Tzafadaya, unhappy plagues,Kinim, Arbah, unhappy
plagues,Dever, Schin, unhappy plagues,Macat
Bechorot, what a plague,Will you finally free
the Jews?!These Happy Plagues lets spill some
wine (oh Happy Plagues)These Happy Plagues lets
spill some wine (oh Happy Plagues)These Passover
Days are yours and mine, These Passover days are
yours and mine, Happy Days.
The Frogs SongOne day king Pharaoh awoke in his
bed,There were frogs in his bed and frogs on his
head.Frogs on his nose and frogs on his
toes.Frogs here, frogs there,Frogs were jumping
everywhere.
Top Ten Plagues That Didn't Quite Make It... 10.
Persistently high interest rates9.  
Incapacitating flatulence8.   Pan-Arab
democracy7.   Bennifer6.   Not-so-Super
Bowls5.   Low-carb, Atkins-manna diet4.  No
cell phone reception in Pharaoh's Palace3.  
Hooked-on-Pharaoh Phonics2.   Pyramid
squatting1.   Radio stations playing 'Walk Like
an Egyptian' 24-7
Freedom lies in being bold - Robert Frost
www.Bangitout.com
23
Magid gtgt Dayainu
Unnecessary Roughness?Whats with all the
violence? Couldnt G-d just have used a stun gun
on the Egyptians, while the Jews slipped out the
back door?  Why was our epic exodus from the
Egypt virtually rated R for graphic violence?  
Perhaps the answer to this question may also
answer another popular question on Seder night.
In the hagaddah we read If it werent for G-d
taking us out we would still be slaves to Pharaoh
till this very day.  Ok, you have to admit that
does sounds a little farfetched. When is the last
time you heard of a Pharaoh being a world
superpower? Rabbi Shlomo Einhorn of Scarsdale
explains the following In psychology, there is a
disorder called the Stockholm Syndrome. The
syndrome was made famous in the Early 80s by
Patti Hearst, the granddaughter of newspaper
baron William Randolph Hearst. Patti Hearst was
kidnapped by the Symbianese Liberation Army,
locked in a closet and beaten repeatedly.  The
insane part of the story is that as a result of
this traumatic experience Hearst ended up joining
the group, and fighting for their cause! The
phenomenon became known as the Stockholm
Syndrome. Because of her intense trauma and
degradation she became dependent upon her captors
and ultimately came to identify with them. The
generally accepted approach in psychology to
reverse the effects of the syndrome is what is
called destructive therapy. The therapy
destroys the feelings of identification with the
captor by tearing down any feelings of dependency
upon the captor.  This can be done by ripping up
pictures of the captor, for instance, or showing
the weakness of the captor him or herself. The
power held over the helpless victim is shattered,
and the victim comes to the realization that he
or she is not dependent upon the captor.
Perhaps, explains Rabbi Einhorn, this is why G-d
had to be so harsh with our Egyptian captors. If
Egypt had not been completely destroyed the Jews
would always suffer from a form of Stockholm
Syndrome.  Physically, we might be someplace in
Teaneck, but psychologically wed always feel an
element of dependency wondering if perhaps if
we still owe some of their lives to Pharaoh and
the Egyptians.  We would still be Slaves to
Pharaoh. Instead with the brutal ten plagues, we
left those feelings behind us in Egypt, to be
buried with our Egyptian tormentors. (This was
adapted from a mibayit.com article written by
Rabbi Shlomo Einhorn of Scarsdale, NY)
"Aren't you Moses?JOKE George W.  Bush, in an
airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing
white robe with a long flowing white beard and
flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one
hand and some stone tablets under the other
arm.George W.  approached the man and inquired,
"Aren't you Moses?"The man ignored George W. 
and stared at the ceiling.George W.  positioned
himself more directly in the man's view and
asked again, "Aren't you Moses?"The man
continued to peruse the ceiling.George W. 
tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again,
"Aren't you Moses?"The man finally responded in
an irritated voice, "Yes I am".George W.  asked
him why he was so uppity and the man replied,
"The last time I spoke to a Bush I had to spend
forty years in the desert".
Q. ILLOGICAL LYRIC ALERT Coming to Mount Sinai
without getting the Torah, Dayanu? Notice for a
second, while your jamming out this Greatest
Seder Hit tune, the line If G-d would have
brought us before Mount Sinai and not give us the
Torah Dayaynu.  Huh? Going to a mountain,
where is the value in that? This makes literally
zero sense -  Without the Torah, there is no
Mount Sinai it  would have just been another
little mountain in the middle of desertville.
 With all the other things mentioned in the
lyrics they each have sufficient points in this
song to say Dayanu, as there is obvious intrinsic
value to things like getting shabbos, or
splitting the sea, going to Israel but wheres
the value in just going to a mountain? (nature
hike anyone?)  Rabbi Yerucham of the MIR Yeshiva
writes that the value of going to Mount Sinai was
to teach the Jewish People the importance of
preparation for all things in life, specifically
the Torah.  Going to the Mountain was the first
time the Jewish people were taught how to prepare
for something spritiual, to think ahead, and to
get ready. Prepping yourself isnt something to
take lightly, (e.g., whole purpose of Sefirah!)
specifically Pesach (cue the Thank you to your
Host!)  but getting pumped, psyched, and excited
about somet