Gay Families: Data and Papas and Mamas and Diversity

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Gay Families Data (and Papas and Mamas) and
Diversity

• Ellen Haller, MD
• UCSF Dept. of Psychiatry
• APA Institute on Psychiatric Services, 2006

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Learning Objectives

• Introduction to parenting by gays and lesbians
• Review beliefs about such parents
• Discuss unique issues about research present
  research findings
  
• Provide resources

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Family according to Focus on the Family

• A grp of indiv related to one another by
  marriage, birth, or adoption
  
• Explicitly rejects the possibility of a gay
  family
  
• Same sex civil marriage and gay parents are the
  biggest threat to Western Civilization

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Familyin the Oxford English Dictionary

• A group consisting of two parents and their
  children living together as a unit
  
• A group of people related by blood or marriage
• The children of a person or a couple

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Introduction

• There have always been lesbian gay parents
• More choosing to become parents after coming out
• Gayby Boom

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As seen in the New Yorker
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Lesbian and Gay Parenting Options

• Prior heterosexual relationship
• Adoption (domestic, foreign)
• Foster parenting
• Biologic parenting
• Old-fashioned way
• Donor Insemination
• Access to fertility clinics, sperm banks
• Health insurance coverage
• Known or unknown donor (or yes donor)
• Legal issues
• Ovum donation
• Surrogacy

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Structures of LGB Families

• Single parent
• Couple
• Co-parenting
• 2 1, 1 2, or 2 2
• Step-parenting

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Numbers

• No accurate count possible
• 2000 Census 25 of same gender unmarried
  partners raising children
  
• 34 female couples
• 22 male couples
• Current estimate
• Between 2-14 million kids in US today (Tasker,
  2005)

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Major Beliefs About Lesbian/Gay Parents

• Unfit parents
• Mentally ill by virtue of sexual orientation
• Lesbians less maternal
• Lesbian/Gay parents (or their friends) will
  sexually molest their children
  
• Non-attentive bec. of rel with sexual partners
• Children will suffer due to lack of both paternal
  and maternal influence

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Major Beliefs About Children with Lesbian/Gay
Parents

• Gender identity
• Gender role behavior
• Sexual orientation
• Peer relationships and psychosocial development

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Research Issues

• Small sample sizes common
• Snowball sample techniques common
• Validity of comparison groups
• Divorced hetero women commonly used

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Research Issues

• Generalizability of findings
• How out is study population?
• How diverse is study population?
• Majority of subjects are white, well-educated,
  and middle upper class
  
• Much of research to date is highly defensive
  implies that differences deficits (Stacey
  Biblarz, 2001)

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Unfit Parents
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Psychological Health of Parents

• Overall, div lesbian mo score at least as high as
  div hetero mo on assessments of psychological
  health (Gonsiorek 1991, Falk 1989, Patterson
  1997)
• Self-esteem
• Psychol adjustment
• Attitudes toward child-rearing
• Responses to child behav
• Warmth toward children
• Kids had more contact with fathers than div
  hetero mo (Golombok, 1983)
  
• Nurturance and investment in paternal role shown
  no diff betw gay and het dads (Patterson, 1996)
  
  
• Greater level of synchronicity in parenting than
  het partners (Stacey and Biblarz, 2001)

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Parenting Attitudes and Behavior

• Comparison of 30 lesbian couples with DI
• 38 het couples with DI
• 30 het couples without DI
• Kids 4-8 yo
• Did semi-structured interviews
• Parents also completed questionnaires
• Brewaeys, et al, 1997

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Parenting Attitudes and Behavior

• No diff in quality of couples rel
• Quality of parent-child interaction
• No diff between lesbian bio mo and either het mo
• No diff between lesbian bio mo and social mo
• For both het groups, het mo scored higher than
  het dad
  
• Lesbian social mo scored higher than het fathers
  in both grps
  
• Social mo signif more involved in practical
  childcare activities compared with dads in both
  het grps Brewaeys, et al, 1997

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Major Beliefs About Children with Lesbian/Gay
Parents

• Gender identity
• Gender role behavior
• Sexual orientation
• Peer relationships and psychosocial development

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Gender Identity

• Over 500 kids reported on in published studies
• None with gender identity confusion (Technical
  Report, AAP, 2002, Anderssen et al, 2002, AAP,
  2006)

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Major Beliefs About Children with Lesbian/Gay
Parents

• Gender identity
• Gender role behavior
• Sexual orientation
• Peer relationships and psychosocial development

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Gender Role

• 20 div lesbian moms 20 div het moms
• Proband child betw 6-9 yo
• Kids were asked to rate selves on following
  traits
  
• MALE VALUED
• -Outgoing -Never cries
• -Adventuresome -Strong
• -Likes to be a leader
• FEMALE VALUED
• -Gentle -Behaves
• -Neat -Quiet
• -Aware of others feelings
• (Hoeffer 1981)

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Gender Role

• No diff in self-report of mothers encouraging sex
  role traits behav in kids
  
• Boys
• Both grps rated selves as conventionally
  masculine
  
• Boys with lesbian moms rated selves higher on
  awareness of others feelings and gentleness
  
• Girls
• Both grps similar on female-valued traits
• Girls with lesbian moms rated selves higher on
  adventuresomeness and likes to be a leader
  
• (Hoeffer 1981)

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Gender Role

• Overall, studies find no signif differences betw
  children of LGB parents and het parents
  (Summarized in Anderssen et al, 2002, AAP, 2006)

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Major Beliefs About Children with Lesbian/Gay
Parents

• Gender identity
• Gender role behavior
• Sexual orientation
• Peer relationships and psychosocial development

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Sexual Orientation

• When asked if he thought hed marry a man or a
  woman when he grew up, one 4 yo boy said,
  
• What? Im gonna marry a train!

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Sexual OrientationTasker and Golombok, 1995 and
1996

• Orig. studied in late 1970s, recruited using ads
  
  
• Original sample
• 27 div lesbian 27 div het mothers, 39 kids in
  each grp
  
• 51/54 of orig mothers traced for f/u study
• Total N 46 adult children interviewed for f/u
  study
  
• 8 men, 17 women with lesbian moms
• 12 men, 9 women with heterosexual moms
• Avg age 23.5 Range 17-35
• Did semi-structured interview, 2.5 hrs average

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Sexual OrientationTasker and Golombok, 1995 and
1996

• All had 1 het experience
• Considered same sex rel?
• 14/22 with lesbian mo vs 3/18--signif diff (for
  dtrs but not sons)
  
• Same gender attraction?
• 9/25 with lesbian mo vs 4/20--ns diff
• Homoerotic relationship?
• 6/25 with lesbian mo vs 0/20--signif diff
• Identification as gay/lesbian?
• 2/25 with lesbian mo id as lesbian, none as gay
  men vs 0/20--ns diff

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Sexual Orientation

• Total of 9 diff studies have examined this
  issue--3 with dads, 6 with moms (reviewed in
  Anderssen et al, 2002)
  
• None reported statis signif ? rates of homosexual
  orientation of children with LGB parents

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Major Beliefs About Children with Lesbian/Gay
Parents

• Gender identity
• Gender role behavior
• Sexual orientation
• Peer relationships and psychosocial development

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Peer Relationships Psychosocial Development

• N80 families, all used DI
• 34 lesbian couples
• 21 lesbian single mo
• 16 het couples
• 9 het single mo
• Avg. age of kids 7
• Gathered info from both parents and teachers
• (Chan, Raboy, Patterson, 1998)

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Peer Relationships Psychosocial Development

• No signif diff in child adjustment as fn of
  parental sexual orientation or parents in home
  
• Parenting stress was signif rel to childrens
  adjustment
  
• Sexual orientation or relationship status wasnt
• Children were rated as better adjusted when
  parents reported
  
• Higher rel satisfaction
• Higher levels of love
• Lower parental conflict (Chan, Raboy,
  Patterson, 1998)

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Peer Relationships Psychosocial Development

• No evidence of disruption in social rel with
  children or adults (Patterson, 1997 and Allen,
  Burrell, 1996)
  
• Adult children of lesbian moms do report more
  teasing about own sexuality as kids but seem to
  cope well
  
• Not more likely to report peer stigma in general
  
  
• (Tasker Golombok, 1995)

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Community Based StudyGolombok et al, 2003

• Cohort study of 14,000 mothers in one county in
  England
  
• 18 lesbian mothers (21 more through snowball)
• 19 coupled 20 single
• 74 two parent het families
• 60 single het mothers
• Kids 5-7 yo, born in 1991-1992
• Interview and questionnaire measures of mothers,
  co-mothers/fathers, children teachers

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Findings

• No signif differences in psych d/o, self-esteem,
  abnl behav in kids
  
• Lesbian mothers smacked kids less
• Presence of 2 parents ? more positive outcome for
  psycholog well-being
  
• (Golombok et al, 2003)

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What about teenagers?Wainright et al, 2004

• National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health
• 12,105 adol in grades 7-12
• 44 living with 2 women in marriage-like family
  arrangement
  
• Compared to matched controls
• No diff. in self-esteem, depression, anxiety,
  school connectedness, and school success
  
• Quality of rel with parents assoc with better
  psychosocial functioning

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Conclusions

• Every child is a wanted child
• Accidents just arent very likely
• Family process rather than family structure is
  the signif. feature in a childs development

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Conclusions

• Rather than solely focusing on how these children
  do NOT differ from other children, imp. to note
  differences (Stacey and Biblarz, 2001)
  
• More likely open to homoerotic relationships
• More tolerant of diversity
• Some suggestion of slight gender role
  differences
  
• Lesbian and gay parenting couples more likely to
  share childcare tasks relatively evenly

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Position Statements

• American Psychological Association (1976, 2004)
• Child Welfare League of America (1988)
• American Bar Association (1995, 1999, 2003)
• American Psychiatric Association (1997, 2002)
• National Adoption Center (1998)
• North American Council on Adoptable Children
  (1998)
  
• American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry
  (1999)
  
• American Academy of Family Physicians (2002)
• American Academy of Pediatrics (2002, 2006)
• American Psychoanalytic Association (2002)
• National Association of Social Workers (2002)
• American Medical Association (2004)

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The Pew Research Center For The People and The
Press A Report on the Publics Views on Issues
Policies Related to Sexual Orientation(Released
March 22, 2006)

• Telephone Survey
• random digit sample of telephone numbers selected
  from telephone exchanges in the continental
  United State
  
• 1,405 adults

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Resources

• Family Pride Coalition
• www.familypride.org
• Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
• www.colage.org
• Human Rights Campaign-Family Net
• www.hrc.org/familynet
• PFLAG
• www.pflag.org