Wise Coaching Tim LeBon

1
Wise Coaching Tim LeBon

• Why Wisdom, and why Wise Coaching?
• Wise Therapy
• The Wise Therapy Toolbox
• From Wise Therapy to Wise Coaching
• What is Wisdom anyway? Philosophy
• The Wise Coaching Toolbox

2

Why Wisdom? Why Wise Coaching?

• Wisdom, encompassing both theoretical and
  practical wisdom, has been said to be the
  pinnacle of human excellence.
• Wisdom is more than a worthy goal without it
  other values and virtues may do more harm than
  good
• Its possible to be a wise coach and to help your
  clients become wiser
• Today I will help show how to do this

3
Wisdom not just a nice to have

• Platos Euthydemus Without wisdom, the other
  virtues might even do us harm
• That would be a very
  courageous decision, minister.
• Are the foolish better off without courage?
• Could qualities like courage self-confidence
  that are often thought to be desirable in
  coaching may do more harm than good if not
  exercised wisely?

4

The Wise Therapy Project

• What are the wisest theories about well-being,
  the emotions , right and wrong and the meaning of
  life?
• Given these answers, how in therapy can we best
  enhance peoples well-being, emotional state,
  decision-making and meaning?
• Output -gt The Wise Therapy Toolbox

5
The Wise Therapy Toolbox

• Decision-Making PROGRESS
• Values/Well-Being RSVP
• Emotions Stoic Therapy,
  Existential Analysis
• Insights from philosophers
• Bibliotherapy /introducing ideas
• /guides for clients
• See Wise Therapy for complete toolbox

6

From Wise Therapy to Wise Coaching

• All of these tools are relevant to Wise Coaching
• Example of Danny, who had been made redundant and
  was helped by Progress
• Helping people find their path using RSVP values
  clarification and beyond
• Philosophy More tools for coaches

7
Wise Decision-Maker?

• Big Phil Scolari (a Brazilian football coach)
• Head-hunted by FA after he led teams that beat
  England in 2002 and 2004
• Initially agreed to accept the lucrative post of
  England
• Changed his mind after a few days exposure to the
  tabloids

8
Wise Decision-Maker?

• William Hague, Conservative politician
• Made national news when spoke at Tory conference
  aged 16
• Was he wise to accept the Tory leadership in 1997?

9
Wise Decision-Making - Method
The 5 steps of Progress are- 1) Understand the
situation 2) Understand what matters 3) Search
for options 4) Evaluate options in terms of what
matters 5) Implement the decision Each step is
informed by philosophical ideas and methods such
as critical thinking, theories of the emotions,
thought experiments ethical theories.
10
Wise Decision-Making Case Study Danny as
featured in The Observer
1) The decision Continue career in city after
redundancy? The situation Danny felt a
range of emotions, include relief about being
made redundant. 2) Danny explored what mattered
most through a series of RSVP-like thought
experiments Perfect Day Work/home balance Who
do you admire? Contact with real people
helping them Rocking chair question Learnt
skills taken on challenges Done
something I am proud of
11
Wise Decision-Making - Danny illustration of
life coaching by Tim LeBon and David Arnaud using
Progress Decision-Making Process
3) Danny came up with a new option, teaching
business skills economics to sixth-formers
4) This option satisfied all of what mattered
most 5) 1 year on, Danny teaches economics and
loves it. Its a much better lifestyle
12
RSVP Values Clarification and Beyond

• Exploring values a key element to help people
  find the right path
• Already a lot of good ideas in personal
  development/coaching books
• e.g. Coveys funeral oration
• RSVP integrates a lot of good ideas and thought
  experiments about values into a comprehensive
  and philosophically robust method

13
RSVP The Good Life according to philosophers

• Epicurus improve your state of mind
  happiness, feeling good
• Experience Machine objection states of the
  world as well as states of mind are important
• J.S. Mill and the utilitarians other peoples
  happiness matters
• Ancient Greeks (Aristotle, Stoics) your
  character matters what sort of person are you?

14
RSVP Coaching with Epicurus, Mill and Aristotle

• J.S. Mill What difference do you want to make
  to the world?
• Aristotle What character qualities would you
  like to have?
• Epicurus Design your ideal day in the
  Experience Machine
• Pair up and pick one or more of above questions
  to work on to help clarify your values.

15
RSVP Intregrating whats right in competing
theories
"If, as I believe, nearly all ethical theories
contain some elements of the truth, the best way
of constructing a viable one is to pick out the
true elements in each and build them into one's
own theory." (R.M. Hare ) Each of the 3 theories
of well-being (Epicurean, utilitarian and Stoic)
took as sufficient things that were instead
necessary Ie a good life needs sufficient
happiness, contributions and character.
16
RSVP Creative and Critical Thinking

• Creative Stage
• Brainstorm candidate values
• Critical Stage
• Is there anything missing?
• Have you covered experiences, contributions and
  character?
• Can your blueprint survive the following test?

17
Nietzsches Eternal Recurrence Test
What, if some day or night a demon were to steal
after you into your loneliest loneliness and say
to you 'This life as you now live it and have
lived it, you will have to live once more and
innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw
yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the
demon who spoke thus? Or have you once
experienced a tremendous moment when you would
have answered him 'You are a god and never have
I heard anything more divine.'
Friedrich Nietzsche
18
Groundhog Day
Would your values survive reliving over-and-over
again as in Groundhog Day? What would you like
your Groundhog Day to be like?
19
What is Wisdom anyway?Philosophy

• a) Aristotle
• Theoretical Wisdom (knowledge, including
  knowledge of human nature, meaning and what
  matters)
• Practical Wisdom (know-how and understanding
  specific situations)
• b) My Definition of Wisdom
• Wisdom is the possession of knowledge
  about what matters and deep understanding about
  the universe the human condition and human
  nature, combined with good judgement and the
  disposition to put this knowledge into action

20
Dimensions of wisdom

• Values Wisdom
• Wisdom about what matters
• Practical Wisdom
• Wisdom in action
• Existential Wisdom
• Wisdom about the universe the human condition
• Emotional Wisdom
• Wisdom of the emotions, motivation and attitudes

21
The Toolbox for Wise Coaching

• 1.Insights not just from philosophers but from
  psychologists and personal development classics.
  We add
• Psychology esp. positive psychology
• E.g. coaching people to achieve flow
• Self-Help Classics client guides
• e.g. Stephen Covey, Bertrand Russell,
• Viktor Frankl, Daniel Goleman

22
Life Coaching TopicsSuggested by participants at
Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006

• Letting Go- Frankl, Zen, children and animals
  modelling attractive examples
• Responsibility/duty
• Stress
• Life balance
• Meaning
• Emotional awareness labelling feelings

23
Life Coaching TopicsSuggested by participants at
Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006

• Assertiveness -negotiation skills, communication
  skills,courage ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION Back
  Back
• Self-awareness
• Self-confidence
• Fulfilment
• Authenticity- being open, facing life stories,
  religions, fairy stories, films

24
Life Coaching ResourcesSuggested by participants
at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June
2006

• Go Mad! Go Make a Difference - Andy Gilbert
• Theme Improving performance
• Assertive Communication - Back Back
• Theme assertiveness/saying no
• The Power of Talking - Deborah Tannen
• Theme Women dealing with powerful men

25
Life Coaching ResourcesSuggested by participants
at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June
2006

• Buddhism Without Beliefs - Stephen Batchelor
• Dalai Laama (e.g. Book of Wisdom)
• Themes fulfilment/work-life balance/stress
• Krishnamurti (e.g. Total Freedom)
• Themes Challenging the self
• Lesley Garner -Everything Ive ever done that
  worked
• Themes comfortable in own skin

26
Wise Life Coaching BooksSuggested by
participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford
Brookes, June 2006

• Now, Discover Your Strengths Marcus Buckingham,
  Donald O. Clifton
• ThemeSelf-awareness
• Jaworski
• ThemeAuthenticity
• Co-Active Coaching - Laura Whitworth, Henry
  Kimsey-House, Phil Sandahl (esp. chapter on The
  Gremlin)
• ThemeBuilding self-esteem

27
Wise Coaching
THANK YOU For further information see
http//www.timlebon.com E-mail
tim_at_timlebon.com Wise Therapy is available from
http//www.amazon.co.uk