Mana 30303

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Mana 30303

• Entrepreneurial LeadershipStuart Youngblood
• Tandy Hall 232APhone 817-257-7562E-Mail
  s.youngblood_at_tcu.edu

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Overview Covey Meets CC Skills

• Habit 4 Seek Win-Win
• Habit 5 Seek First to Understand
• Then To Be Understood
• Habit 6 Synergize

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Habit 4 Think Win-Win

• Definition
• The journey from individual success to
  collective success with those you lead or work
  with.
• The ultimate goal is to create synergy where the
  final outcomes are greater than the sum of the
  individual parts (mutual gains or win-win
  thinking).

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Competition

• Many of our social, political, economic
• systems are based on competitive principles
• Social only one football team can win the game
• Political only one candidate can win the
  election
• Economic private enterprise, the market
  determines winners and losers
• Principle Scarcity

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Competition

• When is competition appropriate and NOT?
• When the rules of the game make room for only one
  winner. By definition, there must be a loser.
• BLU Ray vs. HD-DVD VHS vs. Beta
• Apple vs. IBM
• USA vs. Germany in WW II
• Barack Obama vs. John McCain
• Most of us have been conditioned to compete out
  of HABIT, but we need to learn how to compete out
  of CHOICE

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Win Win Mindset

• Basic Principle is ABUNDANCE, not Scarcity.
• Synergy making the whole greater than the sum
  of its individual parts. By working together, we
  can make the pie grow larger so that we both get
  a bigger slice (mutual purpose).
• It is not always possible to achieve win-win
  outcomes. Prerequisites
• Willingness ability to work together
• Moderate trust common objectives
• Courage to accept no deal

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Relationship Thinking
Courage to advocate for what you want

• Consideration
• of the wants needs of others- through inquiry

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Win-Win Mindset

• Search for solutions that make you and the other
  person better off in the long run
• Few limits to size of pie abundance mentality
• Characteristics Seeks mutual benefit, acts
  cooperatively, listens more, stays longer in
  tough conversations, willing to compromise
  without giving up what you really want
• Language We What do we need to make this
  work for us? What new ways can we think about
  this? How do we make things better?

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Win-Lose Mindset

• Concerned about self first and last!
• The world is a zero-sum game I must make sure
  that I get my slice of the pie at your expense
• Characteristics Uses position power,
  credentials, force of personality, superior
  experience to win often authoritarian dogmatic
  in the use of power
• Language I This is all Im willing to do,
  take it or leave it, Im not going settle for
  less than, Its my way or the highway!

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Lose-Win Mindset

• Scarcity mentality a small pie and someone else
  determines who gets a slice
• People who have high consideration for others but
  who lack the courage to say what they want
• Characteristics makes few demands on self or
  others is quick to please/appease buries
  feelings when getting the short end of the stick
• Language YOU No real communication
  agreeable, acquiescent but often resentful.
  Seldom expresses opposition openly

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Lose-Lose Mindset

• There aint no piejust a bunch of crumbs
• Shows little courage or real consideration,
  envious and critical of those who control the
  pie, puts self and others down soured attitude
• Characteristics Victim mentality, highly
  dependent mind-set, others have screwed it up
  beyond repair
• Language THEY Marked by helplessness, soured,
  cynical, little hope of things getting any
  better, nothing is good its always their fault

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Habit 5 Seek First to Understand Then To Be
Understood

• Empathetic Listening

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Habit 5 Makes Win-Win Happen

• Thinking Win-Win is about your Heart (good
  motives)
• Doing Win-Win requires Behavior
• Inquiring (Consideration)
• Asking (inviting being curious out loud)
• Listening (really understanding what the other
  person wants and why they want it)
• Advocating (Courage)
• How does this fit with what you really need

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Inquiry

• Two key behaviors
• Asking the right questions.
• Deep listening about what the other person values
  most and why they value it.
• Question Why are these two behaviors the
  foundation of Habit 5?

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Autobiographical Responses
Giving Advice Counseling advising Probing
Asking questions based on your
agenda Interpreting Diagnosing based on your
experiences Evaluating Judging
agreeing or disagreeing with what
you hear

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Use Habit 5 When

• The stakes are high (it is very important to
  you)
• The emotions run hot (adrenaline is flowing)
• The opinions are in opposition (win-lose)
• What do you typically do in these situations?

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Habit 5 is Very Hard Because

• Win Lose is the easy way out, but it is the
• wrong solution in cases when a lot is at stake
• Leads to continuing disagreement, ongoing
• conflict, and no real resolution of the
  underlying
• issues

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Habit 5 Principle

• You cant be efficient with people, only with
  tasks and processes
• In dealing with people
• Speeding up is slowing down (efficiency)
• Slowing down is really speeding up
  (effectiveness)

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Create the space to ask
Are you willing to hang in with me until we can
come up with something that we both can agree to,
support, and then go execute effectively?
This is seeking MUTUAL PURPOSE! HOW can you do
this?
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Ask Questions

• Until you understand what a win looks like to the
  other person.
• Distinguish between
• My or your Position/strategy WHAT I want the
  bottom line.
• My or your Interest/purpose WHY I want it my
  needs, concerns, hopes.
• --------------------------------------------------
  ----------------------
• Learn what the other person must have to consider
  it a win

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Seek FIRST To Understand

• What is Your HABIT?
• Listen just long enough to respond to others
  based on what is what is most important to you
• OR
• Listen long enough to really understand what
  the other person needs to create a win-win
  agreement

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New, Alternative Solutions Can Be Found In
Exploring the real interests of the parties that
are involved in the dispute. i.e., mutual
interests mutual purpose That is, learn what
does the other person value? Why?

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When Purposes Differ, Ask Questions

• What is important to you?
• What bothers you about this situation?
• How does this really affect you?
• It sounds like this matters to you a lot is
  that right?
• What would happen if this occurred?
• What would you do if you got this?
• Can we agree on this solution?

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What Makes This So Hard?

• You must LISTEN at a much deeper level than you
  are accustomed to.
• Even when you try to listen, it is hard to
  understand what the other party really wants!

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You Cant Get To Win-Win

• until you find out what a win looks like to the
  other person!
• And, a win-win mindset says you really care about
  the other persons goals!

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What To AvoidTraditional Listening Paradigm

• Listen just enough to jump in and solve the
  problem.
• WHOS problem gets solved?

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Listening is Not Enough

• Repeating or rephrasing what you heard
• in others words or your own words
• Goodbut stops short!

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Power Listening To Really UNDERSTAND

• Communicating has two components Content and
  Emotion
• To be really effective, you must hear both of
  them
• How do you demonstrate that you have actually
  heard BOTH of them?

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Empathetic Listening

• Rephrase the CONTENT and reflect (mirror) the
  EMOTION that is expressed by the other person
  deep listening!
• Tell me more about how you really feel about this
  issue
• Use your AMPP CC skills
• Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase, and Prime

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Shifts that take place in CC

• Truth ? Perception
• Different data, different interpretations.
  Many paths to action possible. Learn them.
• Intent ? Impact
• Selective use of data. Walk a day in my
  shoes!
• Blame ? Contributions
• Get unstuck by recognizing victim, villain,
  helpless stories. Ask the transformational
  questions for each of these stories.

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Habit 6 Synergize

• Creative Cooperation
• making the whole greater than the sum of the parts

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Requirements

• The mindset of Abundance (Habit 4)
• Empathetic Communications in the Tough Situations
  (Habit 5)
• Creative Cooperation or the willingness to
  jointly create new alternatives that go beyond
  the obvious (Habit 6)

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Synergistic Communications

• Level of Trust in Others
• Level of Cooperation with Others
• Levels of Communication
• Defensiveness Low Trust Low Cooperation
• Respect Moderate Trust Cooperation
• Synergy High Trust High Cooperation

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Valuing Differences

• Different Paradigms You see it differently
  than I do, help me understand what you see that I
  dont
• Creating Something New and Better Usually Starts
  With BIG Differences in the Initial Perspectives
• You Must Learn How to Really Value, not Just
  Tolerate, these Differences!

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Valuing Differences

• Starts with seeing differences as useful, not
  harmful
• Listening empathetically to the other persons
  perspective to learn from them
• Asking good questions, rather than automatically
  defending your own perspective
• Dont cop out and be satisfied with a compromise
• Winning is jointly coming up with a superior
  alternative that neither of you would have come
  up with on your own

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Why Is This Important?

• External Environment is changing very fast
• Organizations are under tremendous pressure to
  remain competitive
• Differentiation is a major source of competitive
  advantage in many organizations
• Leaders are dependent on their people to help
  create new ideas, products, and services

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Synergistic Leadership

• Creating a Spirit of Abundance
• Empathic listening Understanding What Winning
  Really Is To Subordinates Colleagues
• Valuing Important Differences
• Aligning Driving Restraining Forces
• Creating New Better Alternatives (Mutual Gains)

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Alternatives to Synergy

• Group Think This is the way we have always done
  it it is the best way We dont have the
  power to change it
• Compromise Lets Split the Difference
• Win Lose I always have better ideas so it
  needs to be my way
• Lose Lose Since we disagree, nothing
  constructive can be accomplished

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Synergy

• Start with Heart Am I seeking mutual purpose?
• Am I looking for the third alternative that we
  create instead of the suckers choice?
• Am I willing to STATE my path while exploring
  others?
• Can I use my power listening skills (AMPP) to
  really see win-win?
• What does a win look like to both of us?

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END