Communication Styles

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Communication Styles

• Calgary Regional Health Authority
• July 21, 1999

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Communication style is a function of
communication behavior

• Communication behavior is a function of
  personality

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Outline

• Introduction
• Communications Behaviors
• Exercise (self)
• Communication Styles
• Exercise (small groups)
• Friction Factors
• Conclusion

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Primary Reference

• Phillips Bob
• The Delicate Art of Dancing with Porcupines
  Learning To Appreciate the Finer Points of Others
• Regal Publishing, 1989

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Caveats (What we will not cover)

• Verbal Communication Skills
• Written Communications Skills
• Presentation Skills
• Feedback Skills
• Listening Skills
• Communicating to the Masses

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Warning

• This short session is only an appetizer

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Have you ever met someone with whom you just
could not communicate?

• A person who, for some reason, seems to bristle
  upon our approach, leaving communication as we
  know it completely out of the question?

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Have you ever been misunderstood by someone?

• Have you ever said or did something, with pure
  motives and good intentions, which was
  misinterpreted?

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Which is more important in social interactions
and interpersonal relationships?

• The actual behavior or the motivation behind the
  behavior?

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No matter how important our motives are, people
read us by what they see and hear

• not by what we want them to see and hear

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Our ability to understand how people see and hear
us is critical to effective communications
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Communications Theory

• as per Shannon

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Communications Theory

• Communications is the exchange of ideas
  (messages) through a common set of symbols
• Whenever information is gained and uncertainty is
  reduced, communication has taken place

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Communications Process/System

• Originator The source of the messages that are
  to be transferred to the receiver. There are an
  almost unlimited variety of permissible message
  types.
• Encoder Operates on the message to transform it
  into a signal form that can be transmitted over
  the communication channel (medium).
• Channel The communication path over which the
  signal is transmitted to the receiver.
• Decoder Usually performs the inverse function
  of the transmitter to yield a reconstruction of
  the message.
• Receiver The intended termination of the
  message transfer.

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Encoding (human communications)

• The process by which a communicators idea is
  translated into the symbols of language and thus
  into a message that can be transmitted to someone
  else.
• The message, because it employs a common set of
  symbols, should be understood by other people who
  know the communicators language.

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English is a crazy language

• There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger
  neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• English muffins weren't invented in England or
  French fries in France.
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
  plural of booth beeth?
• One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
• Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
  but not one amend

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Communications channel (medium)

• The medium is the carrier of the message and is
  objectively visible.
• Oral communications uses hearing (symbols based
  on sound)
• written documentation uses vision or touch
• non-verbal communications may use at least 4 of
  the 5 senses

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Decoding (human communications)

• The process by which the transmitted message is
  converted into an abstract idea in the mind of
  the person to which the communication is directed
• The term noise refers to the factors that can
  distort a message
• Noise can occur in any stage of the process

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Problems in a communication system

• Technical Accuracy Just how accurately are the
  message symbols transferred from the message
  source to the destination?
• Semantic Accuracy How accurately is the
  semantic meaning of the messages transferred from
  the message source to the destination?
• These semantic problems are concerned with how
  closely the destination interprets the knowledge
  conveyed by the message to the knowledge intended
  by the sender.
• Effectiveness How effectively does the received
  message control the system in the intended
  fashion?

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Semantically challenged communications

• By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had
  stopped, and he was feeling better.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
  side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the
  third day it had completely disappeared
• The patient states there is a burning pain in his
  penis which goes to his feet.

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Semantic accuracy is very much influenced by
non-verbal communications

• What are the six forms of non-verbal
  communications?

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Forms of non-verbal communications

• Paralinguistics
• a form of language in which meaning is conveyed
  through variations in speech qualities such as
• loudness
• pitch
• rate
• hesitations

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Forms of non-verbal communications

• Kinesics
• the use of
• gestures
• facial expressions
• eye movements
• body postures
• in communicating emotions

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Forms of non-verbal communications

• Haptics
• the use of touch in communicating, as in
• a handshake
• a pat on the back
• an arm around the shoulder
• a hug
• etc.

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Forms of non-verbal communications

• Chronemics
• communicating status through the use of time,
  e.g.
• making people wait
• allowing some people to go ahead of others
• etc.

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Forms of non-verbal communications

• Iconics
• the use of physical objects or office designs to
  communicate status or culture such as
• display of trophies
• diplomas
• pictures with important people
• etc.

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Forms of non-verbal communications

• Dress
• communicating values and expectations through
  clothing and other dimensions of physical
  appearance

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How important are non-verbal communications?

• What percentage of the message transfer do they
  account for?

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Communication Behavior Follows Four Specific
Patterns

• Hippocrates called these
• four temperaments
• Carl Jung called them
• Intuitor, Thinker, Feeler, Sensor
• Myers Briggs refer to them as
• Perceptive, Intuitive, Sensing, Judging
• Cathcart and Allessandra call them
• Relator, Socializer, Thinker, Director
• Carlson Learning Company refer to them as
• Dominance, Influence, Steadiness,
  Conscientiousness
• Smalley calls them
• Lion Kings, Otters, Golden Retrievers, Beavers
• Etc..

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Exercise (self)

• So what do you think you are?
• Take a few minutes to complete the yellow sheet
  (both sides) by yourself
• Ask yourself
• What do I do more often?
• Which choice is more comfortable to me?

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So what do you think you are?

• People who associate themselves with column AS
  are Askers
• People who associate themselves with column TE
  are Tellers
• While these traits are neither good nor bad,
  extremes in either case can be dangerous in
  relationships

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So what do you think you are? (contd)

• Askers in comparison to Tellers tend to be
• less assertive
• less aggressive
• more introverted

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So what do you think you are? (contd)

• People who associate themselves with column TA
  are Task-oriented
• People who associate themselves with column RE
  are Relationship-oriented
• Neither trait is better than the other they are
  merely descriptive of two different behaviors

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Merrill and Reid Classification Scheme

• Analyticals Askers who are more Task-oriented
• Drivers Tellers who are more Task-oriented
• Amiables Askers who are more Relationship-oriente
  d
• Expressives Tellers who are more
  Relationship-oriented

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Remember

• These exercises are geared to reveal traits of
  behavior, not personality traits or motivation
  for behavior
• Personality is a much broader and more subjective
  topic
• Combining your behavior style (asker or teller)
  with your behavior orientation (task or
  relationship) will reveal your personal social
  style

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Social styles theory suggests that we each have a
primary social style and a strong secondary
social style

• It is our secondary social style is what makes us
  unique and sets us apart from others in that style

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When in doubt about our primary or secondary
styles, we need only ask our family members and
closest friends.They will tell us.
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Exercise (groups of 3)

• Take a few minutes to complete Parts I and II of
  the blue sheet by yourself
• Go sit with two other people whom you know
• Complete Part III by talking to your two
  colleagues

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Distribution of styles in this room
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The Friction Factor

• There are two main reasons why people become
  irritated with each others behavior, and both
  relate to social styles
• The first is Pace
• people think and move at different paces
• The second is Priorities
• some people regard tasks more important than
  relationships and vice versa

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Pace and Priority Problems

• Pace is the biggest source of friction and
  conflict between Askers (Analyticals and
  Amiables) and tellers (Drivers and Expressives)
• Askers are slower paced and tellers are faster
  paced
• The issue of priorities is the biggest point of
  contention between task-oriented styles
  (Analyticals and Drivers) and relationship-oriente
  d styles (Amiables and Expressives)

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A major part of learning to get along with
someone is understanding his/her perspective on
life
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Pace Conflicts

• Askers
• cannot live life until they understand it
• discuss pertinent facts
• attitude reserved and questioning
• apply experience to problems
• minds inwardly directed

• Tellers
• cannot understand life until they have lived it
• discuss new possibilities
• attitude relaxed and confident
• apply ingenuity to problems
• minds outwardly directed

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Priority Conflicts

• Task-oriented
• value logic above sentiment
• truthful rather than tactful
• like to organize
• question conclusions
• brief and businesslike
• tend to decide impersonally

• Relationship-oriented
• value sentiment above logic
• tactful rather than truthful
• like to conciliate
• accept conclusions
• not brief, but friendly
• tend to be influenced in decision

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In closing
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Each Style Must Reach Out

• It is up to the sender to adapt to meet the needs
  of the receiver

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Adapting to Meet the Needs of Analyticals

• they dont appreciate people who come on too
  strong
• speak softly and slowly to Analyticals
• they appreciate discussions about achievements
• talk to them about reachable goals
• be sure to meet their needs for facts, data,
  time-lines
• give them time to reflect on information before
  they decide
• exercise patience with Analyticals
• etc.

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Adapting to Meet the Needs of Drivers

• Try not bore them with details
• get to your bottom line quickly
• dont try to give them a big sales pitch
• they are intuitive thinkers and will trust
  hunches
• let them chose their methods or paths of response
• be sure to let them know what your expectations
  are
• try to increase your pace around drivers
• they appreciate saving time in order to get on to
  their many tasks
• etc.

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Adapting to Meet the Needs of Amiables

• They most appreciate those who are gentle and not
  brash
• they do not offer opinions or make quick
  decisions because they do not want to hamper
  their relationships
• they need information that will explain the why
• they do not like to work alone
• they need much encouragement and assurance
• etc.

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Adapting to Meet the Needs of Expressives

• They appreciate people who will listen to them
  and share with them
• have patience with their quick decisions
• they have a tendency to tell it like it is
• try not to take their comments personally
• they want to know who is going to be involved
• they tend to start many jobs and not complete
  them
• they tend to exaggerate and overgeneralize
• etc.

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Most communication experts tell us that it is
important to fine-tune our approach to the
behavioral style of the person we are talking with

• Making a few adjustments in our own style to suit
  each specific situation can dramatically improve
  our odds for getting our message through

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The greatest barrier to communication is assuming
that it has taken place.
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Finite

• May the force be with you

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Additional Materials
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