The History of Technology: 480 Years in 6 Minutes

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The History of Technology 480 Years in 6 Minutes
(or so)

• A Mnemonic Device

By Lynn Koller
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1450 - 1940
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Our story of Technology begins in the
Renaissance While light came from sun, fire, and
the wall-mounted sconce A time when Leo da Vinci
built with nonchalance Bombards, mortars, and
weapons for martial response
Leos crossbow
Leos self portrait
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Leos War Scythe
Leos focus, it seems Was not art but dreams Of
war and of power and building regimes
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How Leo and other technologists got their
support Was through the complex, convoluted
workings of the Royal Court The kings, the
queens, and the good prince consorts Grew as fond
of Technology as they did of their port
Leos study for Adoration of the Magi Find the
horizon line, orthogonals, and vanishing points
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In addition to military weapons and stuff Leo
focused on court entertainment, strangely
enough He entertained the royal crowds, which
could at times be tough
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The royals demanded that Technology serve their
fancy In ways that to some in this day seem chancy
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They appear to care not for industrial or
laborsaving machines But to defense of their
nations did their desires lean And for things
that gave them great pleasure, they were really
quite keen They remained centuries away from the
automated teller machine Which offers no defense
or courtly pleasure, but now is routine
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The remaining history of technology, the next
four hundred years Chronicles the Dutch,
Germans, and British drinking too many beers It
documents the telegraph, the railways, and the
electric engineers And the way that tulips
blossomed an array of hopeful racketeers
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But wait, before that, when the late 16th century
came along Those who bought into Technology sang
a new song
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The influence of commerce was distinctly
rising And the Dutch peoples focus on high
quality goods was surprising They paid workers
well and were uncompromising The Dutch fostered a
way of technological devising That the next
hundred years would go about revising
A Dutch guy
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The mid 18th century for over a century Would put
many workers into a penitentiary
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The jail did not keep criminals in Rather it kept
hold of its workers to their own chagrin
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The industrial revolution in London, Manchester,
and Sheffield Changed the ways of production and
what factories would yield High production low
cost became the things that congealed With
pollution and labor abuses not even
concealed During the whole revolution, it was
again beer that appealed To the masses of people
whose fates were in fact sealed
A Sheffield factory
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Many would die in the terrible, dangerous
trades They would fall into vats and slice
themselves up with blades They knew nothing of
insurance, sick days, and 401Ks They lived in a
time before enriching upgrades
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The conditions would shock social commentators
for years They fretted and commented and shed
big, wet tears But it took Technology itself to
move us to new frontiers
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Technology turned into instruments of empire And
god what a mess this imperialism would sire The
opium wars were particularly dire When the
British forced the Chinese to acquire A tragic
taste for narcotics that they could not help but
desire
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Famous French satirical cartoon China is being
divided by the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia,
France, and Japan.
The rampant and compulsory Westernization And the
push by the Brits to overtake every nation Caused
our friends in the East a great deal of
frustration They saw their way of life at risk
for annihilation
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Technology seemed to reinforce the status
quo Telegraphs and railroads brought control and
the flow
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Of money and culture and things from the West To
Africa, India, and lands that possessed The
potential of status for an imperial quest With
which politicians and kings were obsessed
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The weird thing about this unbridled building of
nations Was that it failed to increase its parent
countrys financial valuations
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Imperialism may be another outcome of human
conceit Driven by the egos of men who seem to
excrete The need to possess others and make them
concede defeat It seems that the conquest is what
makes war so sweet
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Whatever we must move into the systems and
science That began our fervent and unwavering
reliance On what would soon grow into a cult for
the kitchen appliance
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But before we would have the Maytag washer and
dryer There would be great advances in dyes,
gases, light bulbs, and wire The wire is big, in
some ways bigger than all of those prior Because
the wire would take us ever more higher
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Into the world of electronics and advancing
telecommunications The wire has a great number of
significant applications By any account, it has
exceeded our expectations In the way that the
wire has affected human machinations
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Edison
Bell
Thomas Edison and that phone guy, Alexander
Graham Bell Took the whole world by storm and
placed them under a spell
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The spell they fell under was to lust for light
bulbs and phones While now in our day we yearn
for special ring tones Back then and now, we are
worth as much as we own
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Technologys story goes on and on But Im afraid
that this is the end of this song It has to end
somewhere, its already too long.
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