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Grief

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Five Stages of Dying. DENIAL. ANGER. BARGAINING. DEPRESSION ... Ten Stages of Grief. Shock. Emotional release. Depression and gloom. Physical distress ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Grief


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Grief Loss 101
  • Living, Dynamic, Evolving,
  • Unpredictable

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Some thoughts about this course in Grief Loss
  • One of the purposes of this course is to open
    your mind an hearts to new ways of thinking and
    feeling about grief loss
  • Grief death is each persons own experience.
    One doesnt have to grieve or die alone, but one
    does have to do it their way

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Part of life is finding your authentic path and
the way you want to live, grieve die.
  • There is no best way to grieve. Dont judge,
    dont imitate, follow your own intuition and
    heart
  • We can learn from other cultures and make our
    life, grief, and ultimately our death more
    meaningful

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Death has innately good sides, even though it is
painful
  • Death helps us become full human beings in many
    ways
  • It teaches us forgiveness
  • It teaches us to share and be selfless

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It teaches us not to take others for granted
  • …..to live in the present
  • …..not to take life, itself, for granted
  • Breaks open our hearts and helps us be and feel
    compassionate

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It gives survivors a new start
  • It counters population growth
  • It took 4M years for humanity to reach the 2B
    mark in 1927
  • It will take just 70 years for that number to
    triple at current birth rate

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And………..
  • Every 24 hours, enough people are added to the
    earth to fill a city the size of Newark, New
    Jersey

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14 From Head to Heart
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WHAT IS GRIEF?
  • An emotional process
  • Persons given the opportunity to confront grief
    deal with it better than those who dont or cant
  • Youll never forget
  • Youll always be affected by it
  • You have to fight to find something positive in
    it

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The Grief Process
  • Normal natural
  • Response to significant loss
  • Irrational confusion of contradictory feelings
  • Occurs with every loss
  • Cumulative grows over time

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What Grief is NOT
  • Though compared to an illness, it is not a
    disease one recovers from
  • Intellectual
  • No term limit
  • No moving on

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What Grief IS
  • An experience that is part of life
  • It changes reality and perception
  • Normal natural
  • Emotional energy
  • We grief at 100 even though intensity differs
  • Never wholly resolved
  • Integrated as part of your being
  • Woven into tapestry of your existence

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Grief Is Loss
  • Loss of someone or something no longer there
  • The grief process is how we integrate that loss
    experience into our lives

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Grief Intensity Differs From
  • Person to Person
  • Culture to Culture
  • Time to Time with same person

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The Grief Response
  • Never wholly resolved
  • How we integrate loss experience as part
  • of self
  • Living, dynamic, evolving, unpredictable
  • Loss of something/someone no longer there
  • Variety of physical and emotional reactions
  • Ebb flow of emotions over time
  • Changes reality and perception

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Grief Loss Differences
  • L O S S
  • Traumatic as death
  • Subjective
  • Process loss realize endurance
  • Awareness of survival
  • G r i e f
  • Similar for any significant loss
  • Unfinished grief over losses triggers other
    losses
  • Provides coping skills

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Grief Identified Through Stages
  • No consecutive stages though which a person
    progresses
  • Stages help make sense of an insane experience
  • Variety of physical emotional reactions that
    ebb and flow over time

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Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Dying
  • DENIAL
  • ANGER
  • BARGAINING
  • DEPRESSION
  • ACCEPTANCE
  • NO, not me
  • Why me?
  • Yes me, but…
  • Yes me
  • Withdrawal from many, seeks only a few special
    people

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Ten Stages of Grief
  • Shock
  • Emotional release
  • Depression and gloom
  • Physical distress
  • Fixated on loss
  • Guilt
  • Hostility
  • Unwillingness to participate in life
  • Withdrawal
  • Readjustment

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Grief Symptoms
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Needs of Griever
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Abnormal (?) Grief
  • Panic attacks
  • Lasting physical symptoms
  • Excessive guilt and/or anger
  • Persistent and intense emotionalism
  • Assuming last illness symptoms of person who died
  • Apathy

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Loss End or change in familiar pattern of living
or behavior
  • Sudden, gradual or prolonged
  • Can be happy events that still hold the energy of
    grief
  • Predictable or unexpected
  • Tragic or benign
  • Complete, partial, uncertain, unending
  • Single, multiple, cumulative
  • Tangible or intangible
  • Symbolic or personal

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Categories of Loss
  • Loss of a person
  • Loss of a part of self
  • Loss of external objects or possessions
  • Developmental losses

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Developmental Losses
  • Normal life cycles
  • Stage transition
  • Arrival of siblings
  • Losing childhood/childs body
  • Starting/ending school
  • Midlife
  • Retirement

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Why differentiate between grief loss?
  • Loss is subjective
  • Can be perceived as traumatic as death
  • Processed loss and survived gives confidence
  • Grief similar experience for any significant loss
  • How grief handled indicates coping skill
  • Unfinished grief triggers other losses

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TIME
  • A savings account from which you withdraw but do
    not make deposits
  • Draw a line that best represents your total life
    span. Indicate where you are today___?
    _______?_________?_____

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Death in and of itself has no meaning other than
what we give it
  • A negative belief system makes death worse than
    it is
  • We worry more about dying than about death itself
  • We are systematically taught to fear death

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Myths about Grief Loss
  • Dont feel sad
  • Bury feelings
  • We can replace the loss
  • Grieve alone, big boys dont cry
  • Grievers burden others
  • Time heals all wounds
  • (time alone doesnt heal all, its what you do
    with the time that heals)

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Ten Words
  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Silence
  • Yes
  • I care
  • I love you
  • May I hug you?

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Every loss has elements of grief Every loss has
identifiable emotions
  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
  • Resentment
  • Of unknown and of personal vulnerability
  • Something worse may happen fear of losing
    control
  • May be directed at self or others
  • Inconsolable and pervades life
  • Being in the fire and not caring about anything
  • Isolated in grief and unable to share thoughts
    feelings
  • Due to changed circumstances and of others whose
    families are in tact

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As a Mourner, You have the Right to
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As a Mourner, You have the Right to
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End of Grief Loss 101 Lecture
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