A Bestiary of Journalese

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A Bestiary of Journalese

• A Presentation
• for
• The Fayetteville Observer
• By John Rains

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Strange creatures lurk in the jungle of journalese

• Imps of misusage
• Monsters of mangled syntax
• Gargoyles of grammar

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Sleight-Of-Character(Or Now you see him and
now you see him again)It is poor writing to
introduce the same character in two different
guises in the same sentence. Example Sgt. Joe
Blow was angry because the Fort Bragg soldier had
been unfairly reprimanded.

• BetterSgt. Joe Blow, a Fort Bragg soldier, was
  angry because he had been unfairly reprimanded.

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Cobbled-Up SynonymsThis is akin to the previous
example. The writer uses information such as
residence or age to cobble up a phrase that
serves as a synonym for someones name.

• The 36-year-old Hope Mills resident
• The Fayetteville mother of three

These constructions are usually awkward even
when they are not coupled with the persons name
in the same sentence.
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Non SequitursNon sequitur is Latin for it
does not follow.

• Newspaper writers have the unlovely habit of
  linking facts in ways that suggest a relationship
  that doesnt exist. A common example A
  native of Fayetteville, he joined the Army in
  1983.
• That suggests a cause-and-effect
  relationship, which doesnt make sense. He might
  have joined the Army no matter what city he came
  from.

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Modifier Pile-ups

• Newspaper writers often line up modifiers,
  one after another, in front of nouns. Whether it
  is a long title or a string of adjectives, the
  result is hard to read.
• Example the late University of North
  Carolina at Chapel Hill Chancellor Michael
  Hooker.

Pity the poor reader. He may run out of
breath before he gets through that disaster.
Better the late Michael Hooker, who was
chancellor of the University of North Carolina at
Chapel Hill.
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Double Titles

• The use of double titles in front of a name,
  or a title coupled with an adjective, is jarring.
• Superintendent Dr. Joe Blow.
• Psychiatrist Dr. Joe Blow.
• Argentine native Dr. Jose Blow.

The solution is simple. Use the most pertinent
identifier and drop the other. Or separate them
and use commas. Thus Superintendent Joe
Blow Or Dr. Joe Blow, the superintendent.
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Clunky Compounds

• Some writers seem addicted to hyphenated
  compounds. These are often clunky even when they
  are not long.
• mile-square town.
• cute-as-stuffed-toys twins.
• Dont try to save space by resorting to
  such compression. Take enough space to use
  everyday language.

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Backward Sentences

• Journalese is marked by a strange form of
  writing in which the verb precedes the subject.
  Examples
• Dead was Joe Blow.
• Arrested was Jim Bob Blow.
• Sometimes the normal arrangement of a sentence
  can be inverted for special effect, but the only
  special effect caused by this sort of backward
  construction is the readers eyes glazing over.

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Lopped Articles

• Avoid the habit of lopping articles a, an,
  the off sentences and phrases.
• Commissioners voted (the commissioners voted)
• Feature of the program is (a feature )
• Cost of the package (the cost )

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Misplaced Time Elements

• The awkward placement of time elements is a sure
• sign of a hack writer at work.
• Such writers give us sentences such as this
• The commissioners Monday voted to keep the tax
  rate
• unchanged.
• And this Joe Blow Tuesday said he objected to
  the proposal.
• (Question Is Tuesday Joes last name?)

Only in the world of journalese do people write
this way or talk this way. Outside that weird
world, we usually put the time element after
the verb or we use a preposition to give the
sentence a natural rhythm. We dont say I
Tuesday went to the mall. We say I went to
the mall Tuesday or On Tuesday I went to the
mall.
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Times As Modifiers

• In journalese, rescuers rush to the 3 p.m.
  fire or the 4 p.m. wreck.
• (Another fire is scheduled at 4, another
  wreck at 5.)
• Note the difference in this perfectly natural
  sentence He took the 315 bus to Raleigh.

Note that the same logic applies to phrases
such his Oak Street home. Does he have
another house on Elm Street?
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Automatic Labels

• Some adjectives appear so often with certain
  subjects
• that they become shopworn and lose all their
  force.
• Note the underlined words in these examples
• The powerful Ways and Means Committee.
• The right-wing senator (never the left-wing
  senator, by the
• 
  waybut were objective, arent we?)
• The embattled agency.
• The legendary Babe Ruth.
• Superstar Joe Blow.
• Megastar Joe Blow.
• Supermodel Felicity Blow.
• The controversial program.
• This sort of automatic labeling happens because
• writers think they are supposed to use such
  phrases
• or because they fail to think at all.

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Dead Language

• Practitioners of journalese let no cliche,
  vogue word or trendy phrase go unused.
• downsize
• twentysomething
• icon
• wake-up call
• welcome to

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A presentation by John RainsWriting Coach

• Books by John Rains
• Shooting Straight in the Media
• A Firearms Guide for Writers
• Writing Beyond the Routine
• For More Readable Newspapers
• johnrains_at_hotmail.com