Domestic Violence, Children and Support for Non Abusive Parents

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Domestic Violence, Children and Support for Non
Abusive Parents

• Domestic Violence, Children and Support for Non
  Abusive Parents
• Lorraine Radford
• Head of Research
• NSPCC Child Protection Research Department

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Mandy Brown

• Mandy Brown has two children, a boy aged 10 (from
  a previous relationship) and a baby daughter aged
  18 months whose father she left seven months ago
  because of domestic violence.
• Domestic violence continued for 4 years, involved
  physical and sexual violence (alleged marital
  rape) with alleged increased severity.
• Evidence of domestic violence from police
  attendance twice before separation, but Mandy
  dropped charges.
• Social services were involved following reports
  of bruising and neglect to the son
• There have been no subsequent reported incidents
  of domestic violence after separation.
• Mandy Brown has been suffering from anxiety,
  fearfulness and depression requiring treatment
  from her GP.
• Her ex-partner has applied for contact with her
  daughter.
• Mandy Brown alleges the ex partner has shown no
  interest in the childrens wellbeing or care,
  paid no maintenance and had little experience of
  child care. She feels the application is
  motivated by the ex partners desire to control
  her life.
• She has told CAFCASS that she would rather die
  than allow the ex partner to have even supervised
  contact.

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Three Planet Model
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Harm To Children Domestic Violence

• Overlap
• Witnessing
• How children are drawn into domestic violence
• Living with domestic violence

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Impact of Domestic Violence on Parenting

• Impact on health incapacity
• Bruising and cuts most frequently reported
  injuries
• Can be disabling 7 Radford Hester 2006
  permanent disability
• PTSD (10 to 31)
• Psychological harm, panic attacks, low self
  esteem and feelings of inadequacy
• Drug or alcohol misuse
• Parenting stress, more aggression to children but
  decline within 6 months
• Link with upset behaviour children, stress
  declines over time
• Stress linked with continued fear and undermining
  parenting
• 32 of 65 women domestic violence not mentioned as
  affecting parenting
• Majority cope quite well

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Abusers Strategies to Undermine Parenting
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Key Points Supporting Non Abusive Parent

• Identifying /asking the question
• Assessment
• Safety and contact cultural shift
• Direct work with children
• Support with parenting relationship child
• Challenge abuse and perpetrators capacity for
  change
• Resources

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Reasons for not telling

• Embarrassment or shame
• Fear children will be taken away
• Unsympathetic/judgemental response
• Cultural reasons
• Might make violence worse
• Not recognised as domestic violence
• Not aware children know
• Not aware of impact on children
• Abuse normalised
• (Toolkit 2)

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Perpetrators Abuse Battery by the law

• Failure to identify - rely on violence coming
  up
• Unsafe premises/processes
• Joint meetings
• Coerced agreements
• Failure to explore hostility
• Childs wishes feelings inadequately considered
• Failure to consider purpose of contact

• Keeping the secret of family violence
• Causing fear
• Owning reality
• Manipulation bullying
• Victim blaming
• Abuse of children
• Abuse of mother through abuse of child
• Child witnessing

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Perpetrators Abuse Battery by the law

• Failure to address safety of contact
• Failure to consider impact of violence on the
  child
• Failure to address abusers fitness for contact
• Repeat applications
• Letting the child down

• Involving wider family in the abuse
• Using children as ransom
• Implicating children in abuse
• Harassment
• Undermining mothers parenting
• Breaking emotional bond mother and child

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Purpose of contact

• To enable to child to develop a positive identity
  knowledge of biography
• To leave an avenue open for further contact later
• To maintain a meaningful relationship
• To build up or repair a relationship
• Therapeutic contact
• To say goodbye
• Sturge, C. Glaser, D. 2000 Family Law

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Risk Assessment for Safety Planning

• Purpose to improve safety
• Safety as priority
• Safety as peace at home outcomes for child
• Theoretically informed gendered analysis does
  not mean we lose sight of child as primary client
• Assessment focuses on context for individual
  child

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Risk assessment needs to consider

• If a parent is abused perpetrator may also be
  abusing the child
• Fear and harm to children who witness and
  overhear violence
• Children are not passive bystanders may
  intervene/be drawn into the abuse
• Violence can affect the parents health and
  capacity to parent.
• Factors that may influence/mitigate/compound the
  impact of violence on the child
• Capacity for change to stop the violence and
  support a healthy relationship for the child

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Challenges

• How to assess the nature and impact of violence
  applying a broad definition of safety
• Identifying high risk cases if parents are
  uncooperative, family has multiple problems and
  children are very young
• How to approach cases where it appears both
  parents take part in abuse
• How to assess the impact of violence on the
  childs relationship with the abuser traumatic
  bond
• Dealing with tensions between childs needs and
  wishes and victims needs and wishes

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Parenting Support for Non Abusive Parent

• Support for non abusive parent effective child
  protection
• Importance of respect non judgemental stance
• Confidentiality
• Time to listen
• Safety planning
• Role of Child -Talking to My Mum
• Mutual support
• Support complex needs
• See Hester, M. Pearson, C. Harwin, N. (2007)
  Making An
• Impact Children Domestic Violence A Reader
  2nd ed
• London Jessica Kingsley

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Challenging Perpetrator

• Safety priority above change
• Evidence informed standards for intervention
• Programmes to challenge the violence
• Dilemmas false hopes, what works, fall out
• Parenting programmes

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Cultural Shift

• Violent parent as good (enough) father
• Contact best to safety peace at home
• Failures ( to protect, to provide a father, to
  leave) to coping, resistance, strengths support
• What we want to believe or do and multi agency
  learning culture using research knowledge

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