De feminizing The Church

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De feminizing The Church

• WILL THIS
• ENCOURAGE
• MORE
• MEN
• TO ATTEND
• CHURCH?

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Presented by Reginald WilliamsonPresentation
designed by Paul Davis
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• A great deal of discussion in this 21st Century
  has been around this topic
  
• The Feminization of the ChurchWhy Its Music,
  Messages and Ministries Are Driving Men Away.
  

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• This is an interesting topic to me because I
  often wonder why the majority of people in church
  are women.
  
• Is it because our population consists of more men
  than women?
  
• Is there something in the church culture driving
  men away?
  
• Or is it just part of the ebb and flow that we
  find ourselves in at times?

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• Should we just appreciate any help or leadership
  we get in church ministry, whether it be more men
  or more women?
  
• Todays discussion will center around the answer
  to these questions

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• Lets briefly explore some ways that many say our
  Churchs are too feminine and what can or has
  been done to de feminize them.
  
• Then lets explore whether these remedies has
  or will lead toward the attendance of more men to
  our churches.

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The Argument

• Almost everything about todays church
• its teaching style,
• its ministries,
• the way people are expected to behave,
• even todays popular images of Jesus
• is designed to meet the needs and expectations
  of a largely female audience.
  

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• Church is sweet and sentimental, nurturing, and
  nice.
  
• Women thrive in this environment.
• In modern parlance, women are the target audience
  of todays church.

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• Many worry that a female-dominated church has
  turned Jesus into that wonderful man who appeals
  only to the ladies.
  
• A chick-flick atmosphere prevails on Sunday
  mornings, complete with flowers, ferns and soft
  music, all geared toward women's desires for
  safety, security and harmonious relationships.

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• Some believe the feminization of the church
  reflects a feminization of the larger culture.
  
• Our whole society has tended to deprive men of
  their biblical and creational strengths and
  empower women,
  
• As a result, many people think of church only as
  a nurturing place that addresses personal needs.
  
  
• Think sitting in circles, sharing feelings,
  holding hands, singing softly, comforting members.

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Feminized music

• An example of the feminization of the church is
  its music.
  
• Typical praise songs refer to Jesus as a
  Christians lover and praise his beauty and
  tenderness.
  

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• Rarely do they praise his justice or strength, or
  refer to him as the head of an army leading his
  church into spiritual battle, like Onward
  Christian Soldiers.
• Theres definitely a trend toward a more
  intimate music style, like the music from the
  Vineyard,

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• The praise and worship music of the
  mega-churches, which passes for contemporary, is
  too soft and romantic to appeal to men-and so are
  the lyrics.
• If your worship music implies that Jesus is your
  boyfriend, don't be surprised when more women
  than men show up for church, no matter how "mega"
  the event may be.

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• Now, I'm not saying that there doesn't need to be
  a balance of lyrical content, but is it
  unmasculine for a man to shut his eyes and raise
  his hands in the air in worship to God? And if
  worship music begins to be replaced by certain
  imagery, than is this movement of masculinity
  going to be all about warriors and fighting?

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Another example of feminization is a lack of
ministries for men.

• Women have
• Bible studies,
• prayer groups,
• support groups,
• teas,
• and retreats
• and, of course, children have a plethora of
  programs.

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• The church provides a list of jobs that no real
  man would want to do, while the women delight in
  roles such as
  
• nursery care provider,
• prayer minister,
• baker
• and teacher.

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• Even professionals who join church committees,
  like a building or finance committee, often
  complain that the skills they contribute to the
  corporate world like taking risks, making hard
  decisions, and thinking outside the box arent
  welcome in many churches, whose governing boards
  tend to play it safe.
• As a result, less gets accomplished, which can be
  frustrating to men who are results-driven.

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• For example, some businessmen might suggest that
  a church cut an ineffective program that is
  costing time and money and replace it with a more
  effective one.
• But inefficient programs often remain because a
  more feminine value of not hurting peoples
  feelings wins out.
  

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• Now! The implication seems to be that women run
  more inefficient programs because of their
  feminine value of not wanting to hurt other
  people's feelings.
• As opposed to men I suppose who don't care about
  the feelings of others at all.
  
• Oh, and maybe the church isn't supposed to be run
  like the corporations men work in during the
  week.
  
• Maybe part of the problem of the church is that
  it has succumbed to the American corporate
  business model for its operation.

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• But some churches offer only an annual retreat
  for men.
  
• Yet, this is the opposite of the way Jesus did
  ministry, according to some.
  
• They say Jesus focused on men, knowing that women
  and children would follow.
  

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• When men cant contribute, they feel worthless,
  according to Gentry Gardner (83), the founder of
  Sure Passage, a mens ministry in Colorado
  Springs, Colo.
• Once they feel discouraged, they pull back and
  disconnect, he said.

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Touchy-Feely Sermons

• Another turn-off for men is touchy-feely sermons.
  
  
• The modern church stresses emotions and inner
  spiritual experiences while neglecting the
  intellectual side of the faith.
  
• The more traditionally masculine side of
  Christianity enjoys crossing swords with hostile
  secular worldviews.
  
• So, as long as Christianity appeals to the
  emotional, therapeutic, interpersonal, relational
  areas, its not going to appeal to men as much as
  to women.

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• Churches should engage mens intellects to help
  them see the relevance of Christianity to the
  real world of politics, industry and business.
  
• We have to recover the notion that Christianity
  is true on all levels, not just for your
  emotional life or repairing relationships, as
  important as those things are.

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• Additionally, the average church service is just
  too wordy for the average guy, who is longing for
  the visual stimulation he gets at action movies.
  
• "Women speak 20,000 to 25,000 words a day, while
  a typical man speaks just 7,000 to 10,000.
  
• Women love to talk.
• If you doubt this, hang around after the church
  service."
  

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• Yet, much of the church is seeking further
  feminization, through attempts to increase female
  clergy and to create gender-neutral Bibles and
  hymns. Many liberal seminaries now graduate equal
  numbers of women and men, or more women than men,
  like Yale Divinity School and Harvard Divinity
  School.
• Many believe the feminist movement in mainline
  churches has contributed to the decline in male
  membership.

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• Really! now that seems like a sexist comment.
• But I didn't know that cooking, teaching
  children, working in the nursery and hospitality
  were only gifts given to women.
  
• What seems to underlie a lot of the argument is
  that men...not all, but some...are uncomfortable
  with some of the shifting of roles in society,
  and they aren't quite sure what to do about it.
  Maybe it's not the lyrics or the music or the
  preaching. Maybe it is something larger. And it's
  not only men that are uncomfortable with some of
  this role-shifting in culture, but many women as
  well.

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Restoring Balance

• Churches that seek to reverse this feminization
  might face opposition.
  
• But many believe a masculine spirit will bring
  men, and gender balance, to the church.

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• Once you start attracting a mans full heart,
  soul, mind and strength and he sees that there
  are ways he can use all those in the church
  then were going to start seeing a turnaround of
  the absent man.
• Or will we?

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Consequently, many will say this

• Bottom line if you want a healthy church for the
  long term, attract men.
  
• This was Jesus strategy. It still works today.
• There are many proven principles for creating a
  man-friendly church.
  
• Here are seven of them

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Cultivate a healthy masculine spirit in your
church.

• Principle one

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• A man must sense, from the moment he walks in,
  that church is not just for Grandma, its
  something for him. It cant feel like a ladies
  club.
• The quilted banners, fresh flowers, and boxes of
  Kleenex in our sanctuaries make a statement.
  
• So do practices such as holding hands with your
  neighbor, prayer and share times, or highly
  emotional displays.
  
• Our goal is not to get men to cry its to get
  them walking with God, however that may look.

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Make men feel needed and wanted.

• Principle two

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• Encourage men to use their gifts, even if they
  dont fit traditional models of Christian
  service.
  
• Encourage them to serve the poor by working on
  cars or fixing up houses. Let men plan adventures
  and do guy things together.

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• One way some churches involves men is through an
  automotive ministry that takes donated vehicles,
  fixes them, and gives them to single mothers and
  the working poor. A side benefit is that men
  develop friendships with other men in the context
  of doing things together, which is more natural
  for them than sitting in a circle talking the
  typical church format, according to Murrow.
• Social justice ministries that allow men to use
  their skills to help the weak and provide
  interaction with business and politics are
  especially appealing to men.
• Mission trips are exciting for many men in church
  because they offer challenge, adventure and
  specific goals like construction projects,
  where they can get their hands dirty and see a
  finished project in the end.

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Present Christs masculine side

• Principle three

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• Pastors often focus on Jesus tenderness and
  empathy.
  
• This is a good thing, but presenting soft Jesus
  week after week runs the risk of turning men
  off.
  
• What man wants to follow Mr. Rogers?
• Even more bewildering are todays praise songs
  many of which feature lovey-dovey lyrics set to a
  romantic tune.
  
• Guys may feel unnatural singing romantic words to
  another man. Men want a leader, not a love
  object.

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Avoid feminine terminology.

• Principle four

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• Christian men use terms such as precious, share,
  and relationship -- words youd never hear on the
  lips of a typical man.
  
• We talk a lot about the saved and the lost men
  dont want to be either.
  
• And heres a term that puzzles a lot of guys a
  personal relationship with Jesus.
  
• Christs bold, masculine command, Follow Me! is
  now, Have a relationship with Me.
  
• Weve recast Jesus offer in feminine terms.

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Preach shorter sermons.

• Principle five

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• I know pastors will hate this principle, but men
  say that long, boring sermons are the 1 reason
  they avoid church.
  
• Thanks to TV, todays men have an attention span
  of six to eight minutes. Why not use this to your
  advantage?
  
• Break your sermon into six- to eight-minute
  segments with a song, drama, video clip, or
  object lesson in between.
  
• Remember, Jesus most beloved lessons were his
  parables, none of which takes more than two
  minutes to teach.
  
• His parables survive today because men remembered
  them.

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Become students of men.

• Principle six

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• Although most pastors are male, few truly
  understand men.
  
• Women keep the ministry machine going, so pastors
  focus on keeping females happy and volunteering.
  
  
• This must change.
• I challenge every pastor in America to study men.
  
  
• A good place to start read John Eldredges
  bestseller, Wild at Heart.

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Create a culture of person-to-person challenge.

• Principle seven

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• In many a church, the pastor challenges from the
  pulpit, but the people dont challenge each
  other.
  
• Person-to-person discipleship, in small teams, is
  the only way to bring men to maturity in Christ.
  
• Where do you start?
• Choose a handful of men and personally disciple
  them, with the understanding that each man will
  recruit his own small group after one year.
  
• Continue to disciple these men as they become
  disciples of others.
  
• This is the model Jesus left us, and it is
  awakening men in churches across the nation.

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• Many others do not agree with some of the
  conclusions that are being discussed, nor do they
  think that the answer for the church is to dress
  it up in military language and garb in an attempt
  to strike a better gender balance.
• And maybe the problem is not with the church, but
  with us as men in general.
  
• Maybe we as men need to learn how to be men in
  the church today, and not grasp for old
  stereotypes of what we think masculinity is
  supposed to be in the church.
• As the roles of men and women shift in both
  society and the church it is going to take time
  and some periods of wrestling out what the church
  looks like.
• There is no easy answer and there is no cookie
  cutter solutions.

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• And I think that if the church is truly going to
  be the Church, it is going to need both the gifts
  of men and women. It is going to need both men
  and women using the gifts that the Holy Spirit
  has given them. And whether the church has more
  men or more women does not matter. What matters
  is that God is using both men and women to
  accomplish His work, in the Church and here on
  earth.

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• The implied message of some is that there is one
  way of being a man of God-and as for the girly
  men who don't join the party, they're just wimps
  who carry their wives' purses to a church where
  they don't want to be.
• Historically, when Christians have taken a stand
  involving risk, their toughest challenge has been
  to struggle against the cultural corruption of
  the church-surely the opposite of making the
  church more palatable to a B-movie culture.

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• It's an argument that insults the women of the
  church far less than it does the men.
  
• Surely there are ways of being a godly man that
  do not involve kicking _____.
  
• The cross stands out as one.

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Both modes are essential for the Church to
function optimally, just as both a man and a
woman are essential for a family to function
optimally.It's how God designed us.
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After all, in the beginning there was Adam and
Eve. It was "not good" that man should be
alone, and it also is not good that woman should
be alone.
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God meant for mankind to exist with the two sexes
working together--bringing both of their
viewpoints to the experiences they encounter--and
when one viewpoint begins to crowd out the other,
it's not a good thing.
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So, what will it take to get men into church?

• They need to see the greater purpose their role
  in the advancing the kingdom of God.
  
• The gospel that Jesus and Paul preached is
  revolutionary, and its worth giving your life
  to.
  
• We dont paint it as big enough or God as
  awesome enough to be compelling.

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• The End

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