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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

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Title: Scientific Writing, HRP 214


1
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

2
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.
  • composer putting notes together to make music

3
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
    chocolate.
  • B. The dessert was composed of cream and
    chocolate.

4
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
    chocolate.
  • B. The dessert was composed of cream and
    chocolate.

5
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
  • B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

6
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
  • B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.
  • think includes (but exhaustive list)
  • compare composed of (generally exhaustive)

7
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
    sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
  • chocolate sauce.

8
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
    sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
  • chocolate sauce.

9
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. I hope that my sister and I will reconcile.
  • B. I hope that my sister and me will reconcile.

10
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. I hope that my sister and I will reconcile.
  • B. I hope that my sister and me will reconcile.

11
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. He told Dan and me that they would meet us at
    noon.
  • B. He told Dan and I that they would meet us at
    noon.

12
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. He told Dan and me that they would meet us at
    noon.
  • B. He told Dan and I that they would meet us at
    noon.

13
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. I always thought it was further to the moon.
  • B. I always thought it was farther to the moon.

14
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. I always thought it was further to the moon.
  • B. I always thought it was farther to the moon.

15
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Between you and I, we should have it done in
    no time.
  • B. Between you and me, we should have it done in
    no time.

16
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Between you and I, we should have it done in
    no time.
  • B. Between you and me, we should have it done in
    no time.

17
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. He died of unknown causes.
  • B. He died from unknown causes.

18
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. He died of unknown causes.
  • B. He died from unknown causes.

19
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. She could have made it further in life.
  • B. She could have made it farther in life.

20
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. She could have made it further in life.
  • B. She could have made it farther in life.

21
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
  • B. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.
  • C. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
  • D. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.

22
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
  • B. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.
  • C. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complimentary.
  • D. Its the nuts, sir. Theyre complementary.

23
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
    about the compliment cascade.
  • B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
    about the complement cascade.

24
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
    about the compliment cascade.
  • B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures
    about the complement cascade.

25
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP from a
textbook…
The fear expressed by some teachers that
students would not learn statistics well if they
were permitted to use canned computer programs
has not been realized in our experience. A
careful monitoring of achievement levels before
and after the introduction of computers in the
teaching of our course revealed no appreciable
change in students performances.
26
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP from a
textbook…
The fear expressed by some teachers that
students would not learn statistics well if they
were permitted to use canned computer programs
has not been realized in our experience. A
careful monitoring of achievement levels before
and after the introduction of computers in the
teaching of our course revealed no appreciable
change in students performances.
27
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP
? Many teachers feared that the use of canned
computer programs would prevent students from
learning statistics. We monitored student
achievement levels before and after the
introduction of computers in our course and found
no detriments in performance.
28
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 2
  • Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for
    the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may
    reduce the progression of the disease.
  • Identify the problems…
  • -- to be is a weak verb (may be protective)
  • --you dont protect for, you protect against
    (word choice)
  • --occurrence is a vague, weak noun
  • --can you reduce progression? (word choice)
  • --progression of disease? disease progression

29
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 2
  • Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for
    the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may
    reduce the progression of the disease.
  • ?
  • Anti-inflammatory agents may protect against
    Alzheimers Disease and retard disease
    progression.

30
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 3
  • Important studies to examine the descriptive
    epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
    and changes in the characteristics of the
    population over time, have begun.
  • Identify the problems…
  • --wheres the verb?
  • --watch fluff words like important
  • --can changes occur without being over time?
  • -- changes in the characteristics of the
    population is vague and wordy

31
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 3
  • Important studies to examine the descriptive
    epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
    and changes in the characteristics of the
    population over time, have begun.
  • ?
  • Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology
    of autism, including recent changes in the
    disorders prevalence and characteristics.

32
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Lecture Four, July 13th, 2005 Writing Basics II
  • Paragraphs, logic, and organization

33
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paragraphs
Although the methodological approaches are
similar, the questions posed in classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are
different. In classic epidemiology,
epidemiologists pose a question about the
etiology of a disease in a population of people.
Causal associations are important to identify
because, if the causal factor identified can be
manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is
possible. On the other hand, in clinical
epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about
the prognosis of a disease in a population of
patients. Prognosis can be regarded as a set of
outcomes and their associated probabilities
following the occurrence of some defining event
or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test
result or disease.
34
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 What are you trying
to say? Idea flow chart (outline)…
35
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 sentence-level editing
Although the methodological approaches are
similar, the questions posed in classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are
different.
36
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Despite methodologic similarities, classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in
aim.
37
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paragraph parallelism
In classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a
question about the etiology of a disease in a
population of people. Causal associations are
important to identify because, if the causal
factor identified can be manipulated or modified,
prevention of disease is possible. On the other
hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a
question about the prognosis of a disease in a
population of patients.
Whats the structure of the comparison/contrast? H
ere In discipline 1, group 1 poses a question
about XX in a population of XX. In discipline
2, group 2 poses a question about YY in a
population of YY.
38
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Classic epidemiologists pose a question about the
etiology of a disease in a population of people.
Clinical epidemiologists pose a question about
the prognosis of a disease in a population of
patients.
39
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 sentence-level editing
Prognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes
and their associated probabilities following the
occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis
that can be a symptom, sign, test result or
disease. ? Prognosis is the probability that an
event or diagnosis will result in a particular
outcome.
40
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Altogether…
Despite methodologic similarities, classic
epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in
aim. Classic epidemiologists pose a question
about the etiology of disease in a population of
people etiologic factors can be manipulated to
prevent disease. Clinical epidemiologists pose a
question about the prognosis of a disease in a
population of patients prognosis is the
probability that an event or diagnosis will
result in a particular outcome.
41
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 compare to outline…
42
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Before you start writing, ask
  • What am I trying to say?
  • When you finish writing, ask
  • Have I said it?

43
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Paragraph organization tips
  • 1. Avoid a succession of loose sentences
    (monotonous).
  • 2. Paragraph flow is helped by
  • parallel sentence structures
  • logical flow of ideas
  • if necessary, transition words
  • 3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and
    the last sentence best. Make the last sentence
    memorable. Emphasis at the end!

44
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Paragraph organization tips
  • Avoid a succession of loose sentences
    (monotonous).
  • --Outlining and organizing can help arrange
    ideas.
  • --But, when stringing together a series of
    ideas, dont forget to vary sentence structure
    for readability.

45
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Example from Strunk and White The third concert
of the subscription series was given last
evening, and a large audience was in attendance.
Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the
Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the
instrumental music. The former showed himself to
be an artist of the first rank, while the latter
proved itself fully deserving of its high
reputation. The interest aroused by the series
has been very gratifying to the Committee, and it
is planned to give a similar series annually
hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on
Tuesday, May 10, when an equally attractive
program will be presented.
46
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • 2. Paragraph flow is helped by
  • parallel sentence structures
  • logical flow of ideas
  • if necessary, transition words

47
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • logical flow of ideas
  • Sequential in time
  • General? specific
  • Logical arguments (if a then b a therefore b)

48
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 example
Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman
hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him
within the grace period (which, in California, is
six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to
seize any collateral that the defendant put down
to secure the bond, or sues the defendants
indemnitors, who signed the bail application as
guarantors. But Zabala hadnt put down any
collateral, and so far Greenone of the few
bondsmen who always do their own bounty
huntinghad found neither him nor his
indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up.
Soon, Green would have to pay the court
thirty-one thousand dollars.
49
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 organized by time
sequence and general? specific
1. First, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to
find and arrest the defendant within the grace
period. 2. Then, if that fails, the bondman
seizes collateral or sues indemnitors. 3. Now,
in this specific case, the defendant (Zabala) is
AWOL and has no collateral or available
indemnitors 4. Conclusion the bondswoman
(Green) is out of options. Notice how the
author didnt need to write first, then, in
this specific case, or conclusion? the
organization of sentences and context gives
readers these clues without spelling them out…
50
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 examine the logical
structure
  • A bondsman has these and only these options
  • Hire a bounty hunter to find and arrest the guy
    within a grace period.
  • If (1) fails, seize collateral or sue indemnitor.
  • Pay the money herself.
  • In this case,
  • Grace period nearly done without arrest.
  • No collaterol, no indemnitors.
  • ? Green (the bondswoman) will be responsible for
    the 31,000.

51
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 transitions used
Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman
hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him
within the grace period (which, in California, is
six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to
seize any collateral that the defendant put down
to secure the bond, or sues the defendants
indemnitors, who signed the bail application as
guarantors. But Zabala hadnt put down any
collateral, and so far Greenone of the few
bondsmen who always do their own bounty
huntinghad found neither him nor his
indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up.
Soon, Green would have to pay the court
thirty-one thousand dollars.
52
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • 3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and
    the last sentence best. Make the last sentence
    memorable.

53
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and
    so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always
    do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him
    nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly
    up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court
    thirty-one thousand dollars.
  • Long, short, long.

54
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and
    so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always
    do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him
    nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly
    up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court
    thirty-one thousand dollars.
  • Long, short, long.
  • Nice sentence variety and build-up to the
    conclusion.

55
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Paragraph exercise
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

56
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 verb-tally
to be 8 to have 2 passive verbs 1 Others?
experiences, distinguishes
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

57
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 wordiness tally
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

58
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 avoid meta-comment
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

59
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 outline ideas
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

60
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Idea flow chart
(outline)…
61
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders.

Repetition can sometimes help transitions, but
here its just repetitive!
62
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone
    experiences. The International Headache Society
    (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on
    cause primary headache disorders and secondary
    headache disorders.

63
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Secondary headache disorders are a consequence
    of an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In
    primary headache disorders, the headache disorder
    is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic
    of another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.

Also, consider ordering first (primary), then
second (secondary)
64
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • In primary headache disorders, the headache
    itself is the main complaint. The two most
    common types of primary headache disorder are
    episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
    migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
    from an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

65
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • In primary headache disorders, the headache
    itself is the main complaint. The two most
    common types of primary headache disorder are
    episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
    migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
    from an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

66
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • In primary headache disorders, the headache
    itself is the main complaint. The two most
    common types of primary headache disorder are
    episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
    migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
    from an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

67
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 together…
  • Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone
    experiences. The International Headache Society
    (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on
    cause primary headache disorders and secondary
    headache disorders. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache itself is the main
    complaint. The two most common types of primary
    headache disorder are episodic tension-type
    headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache
    disorders result from an underlying condition,
    such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a
    head injury.

68
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Compare to outline…
69
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Finally, organizing the whole story…

70
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Compositional organization
  • Like ideas should be grouped.
  • Like paragraphs should be grouped.
  • Dont Bait-and-Switch your reader too many
    times.
  • When discussing a controversy, follow
  • arguments (all)
  • counter-arguments (all)
  • rebuttals (all)

71
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Organizing your thoughts… Do you have a
system? If you dont, get one. Spend more time
organizing and less time writing. Its just
plain less painful! The 101 feature-story
ratio 10 parts organization/research 1 part
writing.
72
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
Develop a road-map…. Think in paragraphs and
sections…
73
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A note paraphrasing and plagiarism…

74
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 a few notes on
paraphrasing…
  • Use your own words
  • Work from memory
  • Draw your own conclusions
  • Do not simply re-arrange the original authors
    words
  • Do not mimic the original authors sentence
    structure

75
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paraphrasing
  • Original
  • If the existence of a signing ape was
    unsettling for linguists, it was also startling
    news for animal behaviorists.
  • Unacceptable
  • An ape who knew sign language unsettled
    linguists and startled animal behaviorists.
  • Unacceptable
  • If the presence of a sign-language-using chimp
    was disturbing for scientists studying language,
    it was also surprising to scientists studying
    animal behavior.
  • Fine
  • When they learned of an ape's ability to use
    sign language, both linguists and animal
    behaviorists were taken by surprise.

76
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 REVISING
  • The revision process…

77
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 REVISING
  • Dont be afraid to cut.
  • Experiment with re-arranging your words and
    paragraphs (try alternative permutations). (zoom
    in)
  • Give your work an organizational review. (zoom
    out)
  • Read your work out loud.
  • Work with a good editor.

78
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A final note on writing
  • Save often and back up your files!

79
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • And finally…
  • This weeks Top 5 countdown

80
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • 1. Do not use they or their when the
    antecedent is singular (but can vary gender
    references)
  • Every one of us knows they are fallible.
  • Every one of us knows she is fallible.
  • Each student pulled out their notebook.
  • Each student pulled out his notebook.

81
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • 2. Prevalence v. Incidence
  • Incidence is a RATE
  • ? how many new cases develop per unit of
    population per unit of time?
  • Prevalence is a PROPORTION
  • ? how widespread is a given disease?

82
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • principle v. principal
  • Principle is a fundamental truth or law
  • Principal is a leader
  • The schools principal declared it a holiday.
    (mnemonic your pal)
  • Her principles were impeccable.

83
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • rational v. rationale
  • Rational is an adjective, meaning sane or
    logical.
  • Rationale is a noun, meaning justification.
  • She was a rational human being.
  • Their rationale for the move was that it would
    save a great deal of money.

84
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • 5. To hyphenate or not to hyphenate, that is the
    question…units…
  • Hyphenate multiple adjectives that modify a noun.
  • The ball was 21 feet in diameter. (noun)
  • The ball had a 21-foot diameter. (adjective)
  • The machine carried a 44-pound scientific
    payload.
  • The machine carried 44 pounds in science
    equipment.

85
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Homework
  • Read chapters 13-16 of Sin and Syntax (pp.
    197-finish)
  • 3-4 unit students
  • Continue work on your chosen manuscript, paper,
    thesis, or grant proposal in preparation for the
    2nd half of the course.
  • First due date
  • DUE JULY 20th
  • Outline your methods and results sections. Bring
    hard copy to class next week.

86
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Preview to next time…
  • For next time…
  • Overview of grant writing and scientific
    manuscripts
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