You no longer have a trail of debris from the kitche

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College 101

• Colleen Heykoop
• Manager, Parent Relations
• Parent Orientation, 2008

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You know your student is really at college when

• You no longer have a trail of debris from the
  kitchen through the family room to their bedroom.
• You dont have to wait your turn for the family
  computer.
• You pay their first tuition bill buying car
• You realize your student has a whole new life
  that you cant control.

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Parenting a college student

• Parents whose kids are away at college have a
  tough tightrope to walk they naturally want to
  stay connected to their children, yet they also
  need to let go. Whats more, kids often send
  mixed messages they crave space, but they rely
  on their parents advice and assistance.

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• Not surprisingly, its hard to know when its
  appropriate to get involved in your childs life
  and when its better to back off.
• -Marjorie Savage
• Youre on Your Own (but Im here if you
  need me)

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Changes in Parents Role

• Mentor
• Become a trusted Advisor
• Assist in making wise decisions as they become an
  adult

• Cheerleader
• Your role is on the sidelines
• You support their achievements
• Encourage them to keep going

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Changing Role ? Changing Perspective

• Redefine what a Good Year means
• Not just good grades
• Depth of relationships
• Degree of engagement

• Students make the choices and parents dont
  always get to be involved

• Parents can help to clarify risks and benefits to
  choices
• Parents can give suggestions, but should avoid
  telling their student what to do

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Changes in Perspective

• Education is not an event, but a process
• Its not just about solving problems but becoming
  competent
• Students learn by figuring it out for themselves

• Definition of success broadens to include
  teamwork
• Learning how to cooperate
• Learning how to compromise

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Changes in Perspective

• Students need the opportunity to explore their
  vision

• Look beyond their past accomplishments
• Allow your student to reinvent themselves and try
  new things

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Social and Emotional Transitions during the first
year

• August September Excitement anxiety Making
  new friends Exploring new freedoms
• October Time management Midterms Homesickness
• November December Excitement about holidays
  Finals Projects
• First Visit Home Everythings different!

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Transitions

• January Leaving home again Readjusting to
  campus life
• February March Academic questions Plans for
  Easter Break Leadership options for the Fall
• April Easter Break Summer plans Final
  projects
• May Finals Projects Missing friends Packing
  to move out

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Tips for Parents

• Allow your student to vent in a safe place
• Remember youre transitioning too

• Talk things over with your student before jumping
  to conclusions
• Developing new friendships is hard work

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Tips for Parents

• Dont panic if your student is having a difficult
  time
• Come to Parent Weekend
• Be mindful of how often your student comes home
  do they talk about activities on campus?
• Your student can do amazing things, if you just
  let them!

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Questions or Concerns?

• Just call Parent Relations
• 1-800-99-BIOLA