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Loss and grief


People feel less confidence following a significant loss ... homophobia. role has been redescribed. sections of staff not socialising ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Loss and grief

Loss and grief
  • Safety, control and trust

Key messages
  • loss is a constant part of life
  • more than bereavement
  • grief responses are individual
  • grief can be communal
  • culturally determined
  • schools can provide safety and control

  • People feel less confidence following a
    significant loss
  • It is best to leave grieving people alone
  • You never laugh if you're really grieving
  • Most people get over the loss of a close relative
    or friend in a few weeks
  • Mourners feel better after the funeral
  • Men and women grieve differently
  • Children and teenagers don't show their grief
    like adults
  • The unexpectedness of a loss is not the main
    factor which affects the severity of a person's
  • If you have had a significant loss you will
    understand exactly how another grieving person
  • To get help from a bereavement support group, you
    can just talk to them over the phone
  • NALAG GriefLink quiz

  • Loss
  • being parted from someone who or something that a
    person values
  • Grief
  • complex emotional response to loss including
    sadness, anger, helplessness, guilt, despair
  • Raphael, B. (1984) The Anatomy of Bereavement A
    Handbook for the Caring Professions. London

Adolescent loss Activity
  • Brainstorm some possibilities of loss for the
    adolescents with whom you work
  • real
  • symbolic

Adolescent losses
  • Chance (more or less)
  • death
  • separation, divorce
  • moving house
  • illness/accident -self/others
  • natural disaster
  • victim of crime
  • financial change
  • loss of pet
  • birth of sibling
  • Developmental
  • weaning
  • separation
  • school changes
  • friends move
  • growing older
  • Private
  • trust
  • missing out on team
  • victim of bullying
  • school failure
  • realising youre different
  • failure to live up to expectations
  • ugly' teenager
  • betrayed by friend
  • Deprivation/neglect
  • child abuse, poverty
  • unresponsive parenting
  • lack of stability
  • Homelessness

Hockley, R (1985) The precipitants of grief. The
Family and Grief. Proceedings of the 4th National
Conference of the National Association of Loss
and Grief, Sydney
Diversity, loss and grief
  • result of trauma
  • historical and social factors can result in
    multiple losses and a constant cycle
  • extensive family connections means more frequent
  • cultural and community connections are sources of
    strength and obligation
  • difficulties imagining a future
  • individual, family and community grief
  • feelings of difference and non-acceptance by
    family, friends, community and society
  • being caught between cultures
  • loss of former or potential competencies,
    relationships, opportunities

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander issues
  • constant cycle
  • multiple losses
  • more frequent grieving for relatives
  • historical and social reasons
  • feelings of difference
  • Not only have indigenous peoples suffered major
    losses, but they have also suffered the loss of
    the practices and rituals which enable them to
    deal with these losses.
  • GriefLink website www.grieflink.asn.au/indigenous

Change and loss Activity
Curriculum ideas for inclusivity
  • Similarities and Differences in Fears (p 40)
  • In pairs or small groups
  • Brainstorm own examples to create worksheet
  • Holmes-Rahe Survey of Loss Experiences (p 49)
  • In pairs, brainstorm examples of loss
  • Allot up to 100 points for each event
  • Create class survey
  • Individual students add up own scores
  • Discuss help seeking strategies for high scores

Staff scenarios what helps? Activity
  • problems at home
  • verbal harassment by students
  • staff tyres slashed in carpark
  • menacing phone calls at home
  • being stalked by student
  • run out of teacher release time
  • new push in curriculum
  • subject is being marginalised
  • fall off in enrolments
  • major issue between two staff members
  • teacher family illness
  • personal burn out
  • teaching outside expertise
  • financial worries at home
  • staff member has depression
  • racism in staff room
  • being bullied by staff member
  • homophobia
  • role has been redescribed
  • sections of staff not socialising
  • staff member has a chronic mental disorder

Four tasks of mourning
  • Acceptance of reality of the loss
  • Work through the pain
  • Adjust to the environment when someone or
    something is no longer there
  • Emotionally relocate what is lost
  • Worden J.W. Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy.
    2nd Ed. Routledge London

Principles around grieving
  • grieving is normal
  • dealing with loss is an individual, mostly
    private, possibly lonely process
  • losses rarely exist alone
  • young people are limited by experience and
  • it is a privilege to be invited into the
    experience of loss of an adolescent
  • loss threatens our sense of safety and trust

Safety, control and trust what can we do?
  • If loss threatens our sense of safety and
    control.what do you do in your workplace/
    classroom to help people
  • feel safe?
  • feel they have some control over their life?

Commemoration Activity
  • What things have people done in the past to
    commemorate a loss?

Policy check
  • How does our school commemorate a loss in the
    school community in a sensitive way
  • immediately?
  • in 12 months time?

Loss and learning
  • At each stage of learning we must give up
    something, even if it is a way of life that we
    have always known
  • Source unknown

Life without lossActivity
  • What would life be like in a world without loss?
  • What would life be like in a world without grief?

Personal reflections Activity
  • Me
  • use curriculum activities
  • listen
  • My workplace
  • review policy
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