Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

1
Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

• Tasha Moreno, B.A.
• Annie Mueller, B.A.
• University Counseling Center
• University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
• April 6, 2009

2
Objectives

• Define sexual assault and domestic violence
• Discuss rape myths and giving consent
• Discuss cycle of violence
• Discuss same-sex inter-partner violence
• Discuss how to create a safety plan
• Provide resources (national, regional, local) for
  domestic abuse

3
Sexual Assault

• Some Facts
• A woman is raped every 90 seconds, or 900 per day
  (National Crime Victimization Study, 1994)
• In 2003, one in ten victims of sexual assault
  were male (National Crime Victimization Study,
  2003)
• Sexual assault is the most rapidly growing
  violent crime in America (Dupre, et al.,
  Obstetrics Gynecological Survey, 1993)
• 44 of sexual assault victims are under the age
  of 18 (National Crime Victimization Study, 1999)
• Responses collected from the National Women's
  Study show 84 of rape victims  never reported
  the crime at all

4
Kathis Testimonial

• A true story
• Warshaw, Robin (1988) I Never Called it Rape.
  New Yorker Harper and Row
• Fact
• 1 in 3 women who are sexually assaulted
  contemplate suicide, and 17 actually attempt
  suicide (National Center for Post-Traumatic
  Stress Disorder)

5
Colorado Facts

• 1 in 4 women in Colorado have been victims of one
  or more forcible, completed rapes
• 1 in 20 Colorado men have experienced a completed
  or attempted sexual assault
• (CDPHE Injury in Colorado Report 2005)

6
Continuum of Violence

• What is a healthy relationship?
• Balance of knowing self and understanding others
• Love
• Trust
• Communication
• Respect (Self and Other)
• Other side of the continuum
• Flirting ? Sexual Harassment ? Sexual Assault ?
  Murder

7
Historical Context

• 3000 B.C.
• Female slaves
• 735 B.C.
• Women are possessions
• 1200 A.D.
• Wife beating
• 1767
• Rule-of-thumb
• 1928 until the end of WW II
• Military Sexual Slavery

• 1954-1975
• Vietnam murders
• 1980
• FBI estimates of rape
• 1990
• Shelters for battered women vs. animals
• July 5, 1993
• Marital rape becomes a crime
• 2004
• Darfur
• May 2006
• Human Trafficking Illegal (22 states)

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What is Sexual Harassment/Assault?

• Sexual Harassment any unwanted sexual attention
• Flirting vs. Harassment
• Sexual Assault unwanted sexual activity without
  the consent or against the will of another person
• Key word WITHOUT CONSENT

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What is Consent?

• Give approval and to agree by free will
• Based on choice
• Active, not passive
• Possible only when there is equal power
• Both parties must be equally free to act
• Colorado Law requires that consent for sex be
  ACTIVELY given!

10
Abuse of Power

• Primary motive of rape is power.
• Receiver defines unwelcome vs. welcome attention
  at the risk of the giver.

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Car Keys Example
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Rape Myths

• Myths

• Facts

• Rape occurs by strangers only
• Women who are raped were asking for trouble
• If he bought dinner she owes him sex
• If a woman doesnt fight back, it isnt rape
• If it really was rape, then the victim will
  report it immediately
• Rape only happens to women
• Rape is just no big deal

• 4/5 women were raped by someone they knew
• No one, ever, deserves to be raped
• No one owes sex for anything, even within a
  marriage
• Any sex act forced against another person is rape
• Rape often goes unreported
• Men and children are also victims of rape
• 1/3 of rape victims will have PTSD-related
  symptoms

13
A girl should never

• Go out among strangers
• Go out with people she knows
• Be alone with a male, boyfriend, or date
• Stay at home
• Wear a skirt, jeans, sweatpants, or dress up
• Be between the ages of 12 to 24
• Flirt
• Drink alcohol
• Go to parties
• Use bad judgment
• In other words A girl should NEVERbe a girl.

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Reporting and Responsibility

• Reasons for not reporting
• Rape myth endorsement
• Guilt
• Self-blame
• Victim-offender relationship
• Never blame the victim for what the perpetrator
  did
• Nobody wants, asks, or deserves to be harassed,
  assaulted, or raped
• Believing it can be prevented leads to blaming
  victims

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Safety Plan

• Message for Guys

• Message for Girls

• If youre getting mixed messages stop, ask,
  clarify
• Be clear about your own sexual limits
• Not worth going to jail!
• No, always means NO. So does, maybe, Im not
  sure, another time, etc. An enthusiastic yes
  always means yes, from a SOBER person

• Be clear about sexual limits
• Use both words and actions to convey these limits
• Trust your instincts
• REPORT

16
How to help a friend

• Listen
• Believe
• Support
• Challenge myths and stereotypes (because the
  victim also endorses them)
• Challenge oppression
• Dont blame the victim

17
Domestic (Intimate Partner) Violence

• Domestic violence behaviors used by one partner
  to gain and maintain control over the other
• Domestic violence is a public health problem
• It occurs every 15 seconds
• It affects people of all genders, sexual
  orientations, ethnicities, religions, cultures,
  ages
• It affects people who are married, unmarried,
  separated, living together, dating

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Prevalence

• 2 to 4 million US women are assaulted by a
  domestic partner each year
• 830,000 men per year are raped or assaulted
• 30 of female murders vs. 6 of male murders are
  committed by an intimate partner
• Underreporting is major issue
• Victim returns to abuser an average of 6 times

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Types of abuse

• Physical
• Hitting, pushing, shoving, strangling
• Emotional
• Restriction of money, employment
• Restriction of communicating with friends or
  family
• Name-calling, putdowns
• Intimidation
• Threats of physical or sexual harm
• Threatening suicide to make the other do
  something

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Types of abuse

• Sexual
• Any forced or unwanted sexual contact
• Stalking providing unwanted attention
• Repeated harassment that produces fear
• Someone you know or a stranger
• 1 in 12 females and 1 in 45 males will be stalked
  in their lifetime

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Other control tactics

• Dominance
• Humiliation
• Isolation
• Threats
• Intimidation
• Denial and blame
• Source http//www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_v
  iolence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

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Signs of abuse

• Injuries and excuses
• Absences from work and/or school
• Low-self esteem
• Changes in personality
• Self-blame
• Isolation
• Source http//www.aardvarc.org/dv/signs.shtml

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Cycle of Violence

• Incident
• Any form of abuse occurs
• Guilt
• Abuser feels guilty and fears punishment for
  abuse
• Rationalization/excuses
• Shifts responsibility from self

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Cycle of Violence

• Normal behavior
• Abuser acts as if abuse never occurred
• Abuse may not occur
• Promises may be made
• Victim may hope abuse is done
• Fantasy and planning
• Abuser begins to think about abusing partner
  again
• Set- up
• Abuser finds a situation in which he/she can
  justify abuse

25
Same-sex Intimate Partner Violence Another
Closet

• Same-sex intimate partner violence occurs is
  equally prevalent as heterosexual IPV
• Source http//ssdv.acon.org.au/

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Some unique aspects

• Outing as a form of control
• Abuse becomes intertwined with sexuality
• Domestic violence isnt understood well within
  the LGBT community
• Undeveloped services

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Myths and facts

• Violence is a mutual fight
• Drugs make the abuser violent
• The law cannot protect me because I am LGBT
• I wont be able to meet other LGBT people

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Effects of domestic abuse

• Low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness,
  shame, and failure
• Guilt
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Post-traumatic stress disorder
• Trouble in other relationships

29
Effects of domestic abuse

• 3.3 million children per year are exposed to
  domestic violence
• Abuse while female is pregnant

30
Safety Plan

• Trust and safety are key
• Leaving is a process, not an event
• Leaving is complicated by finances, employment,
  children, and safety

31
Safety plan

• Pack a domestic violence escape kit (extra
  house/car keys, money, birth certificates,
  insurance information, other legal documents)
• Know the abusers red flags
• Know a safe place in the home where you can go if
  an argument escalates
• Be ready on a moments notice
• Practice leaving
• Develop a safety word to tell a friend, neighbor,
  co-worker, etc.
• Memorize phone numbers

32
Safety plan

• Keep safe after you leave
• Unlisted phone number
• Restraining order
• Use a PO Box
• Cancel old bank accounts and credit cards

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Resources

• SAVA 24 hour confidential rape crisis hotline
  1-800-656-HOPE
• TESSA
• Address 320 South El Paso Street, Colorado
  Springs, CO 80903Phone [phone] or (719)
  633-3819
• Victim Advocacy Unit
• Provided through the Colorado Springs Police
  Department
• Full Circle Alternatives
• Domestic Violence Enhanced Response Team (DVERT)
• Address 705 S. Nevada Ave., Colorado Springs, CO
  80903Phone [phone]
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• 1-800-799-SAFE
• LGBT Pride Center
• Victim Services [phone]