Friendships and relationships

1
Friendships and relationships

• Stereotypes uncovered

2
Childhood

• Boys and girls learn different expectations about
  friendships
• Women- security and success- ability to form
  relationships
• Men- in individual achievements
• Same-sex playgroups

3
Friendship groups

• Reflect cultural gendered norms
• Boys groups- large, lots of friends, less
  intimacy
• Girls- small, intimate
• High-intimacy vs. low-intimacy study
• Boys laughed more

4
Adolescent Friendships

• Pattern from adolescence persists
• Girls are more likely to share their emotional
  experiences with parents and friends
• Male friends tend to be more similar on status
  variables
• Female friends on personality and verbal
  achievement
• Not true for African Americans- less similar

5

• Men more inhibited to speak of same-sex
  friendships
• Less likely to sign up for research studies
• Stereotypes of friendships
• Mean girls
• Sports friendship movies
• Ya Ya Sisterhood

6
Adulthood

• Men report more friendships than women, but they
  are less close and less intimate
• They are more likely to disclose to close female
  friends than male friends
• Age older male adults are more likely to
  disclose and to have intimate same-sex friendships

7

• Values in friendships
• Women talking and sharing emotions
• Men shared activities
• Reports of subjective satisfaction tend to be the
  same

8

• Important components
• Males expression of control
• Females expression of affection
• Males more goal, instrumental-oriented
• Females more expressive, emotion-oriented

9
Couple relationships

• Choosing a partner
• Hetero women and men are drawn to physically
  attractive partners
• Attractiveness affected by social factors
• e.g. Bar patrons- both men and women rated others
  higher in attractiveness as the evening wore on
  not related to the amount of alcohol suggesting
  that availability affects

10

• Stereotype nice guys finish last
• Jensen-Campbell et al. (1995)
• 3 successive studies
• Men who were altruistic, considerate,
  cooperative, kind, and sympathetic- rated by
  women as physically and sexually attractive

11

• Communication
• Women disclose more
• Mixed-sex couples- women provide more support to
  male speakers than vice versa
• Women turn to nonverbal communication

12

• Permanence/Stability
• Men may be more devastated after breakup of an
  intimate relationship than women

13

• Relationship quality and satisfaction
• Trust is a variable
• Intimacy maturity-
• Wives marital adjustment predicted by husbands
  maturity
• Poor relationship quality has been linked to
  arguing about money, intrusion of work into
  relationship, spending much time apart, and
  non-monogamy
• - See this in lesbian relationships

14

• Gender-role self-concept is a variable
• Androgynous and feminine partners are more likely
  to report high relationship quality compared to
  masculine or undifferentiated
• Wives satisfaction tends to be lower in marriages
  where husbands endorse more undesirable traits
  such as arrogance
• Men are more likely to be satisfied

15
Marriage

• The loving relationship is now a legal and
  economic contract
• There are legal rights and responsibilities as
  determined by the government

16
The division of Labour

• Movement of women into labour force has not been
  accompanied by a complementary shift of husbands
  into greater participation in domestic labour
• 2/3 to 3/4 of domestic work is done by women

17

• Economic power plays a role
• The more the husbands earnings are greater than
  wifes, the greater her share of housework
• Cultural and ethnic variables
• Mexican American, African American men least
  likely to feel it is unfair
• Larger family
• They also take care of aging parents

18
Nontraditional families

• house-husbands
• Majority not by choice, but rather necessity
• Not all families based on hetero concept
• Data from poll (from last lecture)
• Not a single study exists that children of
  lesbian and gay families to be disadvantaged

19
MARITAL VIOLENCE

• Women are 6 times more likely than men to be
  violently assaulted by an intimate
• Likelihood she will be rescued by the justice
  system is small
• Women are masochistic

20

• Women tries to separate, she risks further
  violence
• Risks of extreme violence are greatest when the
  victim seeks freedom

21
Differences in abuse

• Men inflict the more serious abuse
• Men who have a high need for power
• Womens need for power is unrelated to abusive
  behavior
• Men- also low on verbal assertiveness- suggests
  violence comes from frustration of no control
  through verbal means
• Avoidance of a devalued identity for a powerful
  identity

22

• Women
• Are usually being treated violently
• Most frequent type of aggression is biting-
  defensive strategy

23
Attributions for abuse

• Men
• Blame external circumstances for their behavior
• wifes behavior or alcohol
• Women
• Husbands emotional state, personality
• Men more likely to minimize frequency, severity
  and consequences

24
Social Change

• Feminist movement
• Recognizing differences?
• Non-gendered social order
• Raising awareness of discrimination

25
Unraveling the gender knot(Johnson, 2004)

• 2 myths about social change
• Myth 1- its always been this way, and it always
  will be
• Myth 2- the myth of no effect, and Gandhis
  paradox