Choices in Relationships

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Choices in Relationships

• Chapter Eleven Parenting

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Roles Involved in Parenting

• Caregiver
• Emotional Resource
• Economic Resource
• Teacher

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Roles Involved in Parenting

• Protector
• Ritual Bearer

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Roles Involved in Parenting
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Choices Perspective of Parenting

• Nature of Parenting Choices
• The absence of a parental decision is a decision.
• Parental choices involve trade-offs.
• View bad choices positively.

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Choices Perspective of Parenting

• Five Basic Parenting Choices
• The five basic choices parents make include
• Deciding whether to have a child
• Deciding the number of children
• Deciding the interval between children
• Deciding ones method of discipline and guidance
• Deciding the degree to which one will be invested
  in the role of parent

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Transition to Parenthood

• Transition to Motherhood
• Although childbirth is sometimes thought of as a
  painful ordeal, some women describe the
  experience as fantastic, joyful, and unsurpassed.
• Emotional bonding may be temporarily impeded by a
  mild depression, characterized by irritability,
  crying, loss of appetite, and difficulty in
  sleeping.

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Transition to Parenthood

• Transition to Fatherhood
• Children from intact homes or those in which
  fathers maintained an active involvement in their
  lives after divorce tend to
• Make good grades
• Be less involved in crime
• Have good health/self-concept
• Have a strong work ethic
• Have durable marriages
• Have a strong moral conscience
• Have higher life satisfaction

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Transition to Parenthood

• Transition to Fatherhood
• Children from intact homes or those in which
  fathers maintained an active involvement in their
  lives after divorce tend to
• Have higher incomes as adults
• Have higher education levels
• Form close friendships
• Have stable jobs
• Have fewer premarital births
• Have lower child sex abuse
• Exhibit fewer anorectic symptoms

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Transition to Parenthood

• Transition from a Couple to a Family
• Researchers disagree over whether children have a
  negative or positive impact on a couples marital
  relationship.
• Regardless of how children affect the feelings
  spouses have about their marriage, spouses report
  more commitment to their relationship once they
  have children.

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Transition to Parenthood
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Parenthood Some Facts

• Each Child Is Unique
• Parents soon become aware of the uniqueness of
  each childof her or his difference from every
  other child they know.
• Parents Are Only One Influence in a Childs
  Development
• Siblings
• Teachers
• Media
• Internet

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Parenthood Some Facts

• Parenting Styles Differ
• Permissive parents are high on responsiveness and
  low on demandingness.
• Authoritarian parents are high on demandingness
  and low in responsiveness.
• Authoritative parents are both demanding and
  responsive.
• Uninvolved parents are low in responsiveness and
  demandingness.

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Principles of Effective Parenting

• Give Time, Love, Praise, and Encouragement
• Since children depend first on their parents for
  the development of their sense of emotional
  security, it is critical that parents provide a
  warm emotional context in which the children can
  develop.

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Principles of Effective Parenting

• Monitor Childs Activities
• Abundant research suggests that parents who
  monitor their childrenknow where their children
  are, who they are with, etc.are less likely to
  report that their adolescents are involved in
  delinquent behavior and drinking alcohol, poor
  academic performance, and sexual activity.

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Principles of Effective Parenting

• Set Limits and Discipline Children for
  Inappropriate Behavior
• The goal of guidance is self-control.
• Guidance may involve reinforcing desired behavior
  or providing limits to childrens behavior.

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Principles of Effective Parenting

• Provide Security
• Security provides children with the needed
  self-assurance to venture beyond the family.
• Encourage Responsibility
• Giving children increased responsibility
  encourages the autonomy and independence they
  need to be assertive and independent.

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Principles of Effective Parenting

• Provide Sex Education
• Although they are reluctant to discuss safe sex,
  their doing so often has positive consequences.
• Express Confidence
• If the parents show the child that they have
  confidence in him or her, the child begins to
  accept these social definitions as real and
  becomes more self-confident.

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Principles of Effective Parenting

• Respond to Teen Years Creatively
• Catch them doing what you like rather than
  criticizing them for what you dont like.
• Be direct when necessary.
• Provide information rather than answers.
• Be tolerant of high activity levels.
• Engage in some activity with your teenagers.

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Gay Parenting Issues

• Several issues unique to gay parents
• Identity issues
• Concerns about parenting effectiveness
• New intimate relationships
• Boundary issues

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Approaches to Childrearing

• Developmental-Maturational Approach
• Ages-and-stages approach to childrearing
• Behavioral Approach
• Behavior is learned through classical and operant
  conditioning.

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Approaches to Childrearing

• Parent Effectiveness Training Approach
• Parent effectiveness training focuses on what
  children feel and experience in the here and
  nowhow they see the world.
• Socioteleological Approach
• Because children feel powerless in the face of
  adult superiority, they try to compensate by
  gaining attention, exerting power, seeking
  revenge, and acting inadequate.

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Approaches to Childrearing

• Attachment Parenting
• Overall, the ultimate goal is for parents to get
  connected with their baby.
• Once parents are connected, it is easy for
  parents to figure out what works for them and to
  develop a parenting style that fits them and
  their baby.

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Approaches to Childrearing