You feel like youre always on the second shelf Childrens experiences of parental problems at home

1
You feel like youre always on the second
shelf Childrens
experiences of parental problems at home

• Dr Sarah Gorin
• Senior Research Officer
• sgorin_at_nspcc.org.uk

2
Today Im going to talk about

• Links between parental problems and abuse
• Impact on children
• Numbers affected
• Childrens experiences
• Contact with different agencies
• Support
• What can be done to help

3
Links between parental problems

• DV, parental substance misuse and ill health
  part of a complex picture of disadvantage,
  vulnerability and abuse
• Alcohol and drug dependence are risk factors for
  DV. Substance misuse may be used as an excuse for
  violence or as a coping mechanism by the victim.
  It may also increase risk of victimisation.
• Mental health problems linked to DV and substance
  misuse - BME parents disproportionately likely to
  suffer mental health problems

4
Links between parental problems and child
maltreatment

• Prolonged or regular exposure to DV may
  constitute emotional abuse
• Well known links between DV and child abuse
• Alcohol linked to violent behaviour including
  abuse/neglect
• Drug misuse is risk factor for new born babies
• All substance misuse is linked to risk of neglect
  of children.
• Many parents who have mental health problems or
  misuse substances have a history of abuse
  themselves

5
How many children are affected by DV, parental
substance misuse and parental ill health?

• Up to 1.4 million children have parents with
  substance misuse problems
• 1 in 4 young people reported that physical
  violence sometimes took place between those
  caring for them during their childhood (Cawson,
  2002)
• 14 of young people assumed adult
  responsibilities in childhood (Cawson et al.
  2000)

6
What do children know about domestic violence?

• 30 of children knew someone who has experienced
  DV
• 71 of secondary school children and 37 of
  primary, were familiar with term DV
• Children learnt about DV at school, on television
  or through parents.
• Girls appear to grow in their appreciation of
  the dangers and complexities as they get older,
  boys attitudes seem to harden
• (Mullender et al, 2002)

7
Impact on children

• No standard response presence of DV/conflict
  raises risks
• Range of possible problems in short-term - even
  young children and babies can be affected
• Lack research on long term impact
• Lack knowledge about why some children more
  affected than others, how mediating factors
  impact on outcomes and effective interventions
  for children

8
Protective factors

• High self-esteem and self-efficacy
• Ability to deal with change
• Range of problem solving skills
• Positive family functioning
• Close bond with 1 adult in a caring role
• Good support network beyond family
• (Alcohol Concern, 2005)

9
What do children say about their experiences?

• Children are aware of problems at home much
  earlier than parents realise - but secrecy and
  miscommunication often exists
• They may witness/overhear/see affects of
  violence, experience abuse /neglect
• They may experience chaotic lifestyles and
  unpredictability

10
What do children say about their experiences?

• They may witness/get drawn into drug taking,
  criminal activity
• Have more physical/ emotional responsibilities at
  home
• Their education, play opportunities and
  friendships can be affected

11
Extra responsibility at home

• Id only be in school for a certain amount of
  time and then Id have to go home and look after
  my mumI used to come in from school. I would do
  the dishes. Put, like, all the clothes in the
  washing machine. My mum would be lying steaming
  drunk on the couch and Id have to try and cook
  dinner. Bancroft et al (2004)

12
How do children feel when there are problems at
home?

• Love and loyalty
• Fear and anxiety
• Loss and separation
• Sadness, isolation and depression
• Anger and frustration
• Guilt, shame and stigma

13
Differences in childrens experiences?

• Gender boys find it harder to talk, coping
  strategies tend to be more avoidance /
  distraction
• Age differences in who they turn to, older
  children more likely to intervene in DV and less
  likely to parents problems as their fault or
  something they can control
• Ethnicity minority ethnic children may
  experience added pressures within their family/
  community and may experience racism

14
What do children say about support?

• Children want someone to talk to who listens, who
  they can trust and who keeps information
  confidential. They are most likely to talk to
  their mums and friends
• Children rarely seek help from professionals
  first (with exception of helplines)
• Children want more information (verbal and
  written) about domestic violence
• Safe housing, refuge provision and childrens
  support workers.

15
Someone to talk to

• Someone to talk to them about what they are
  feeling and to help them to understand why it is
  better that they have left.You need people to
  understand how you are feeling and help you to
  cope with the changes.
•   (Boy, aged 15 who has experienced domestic
  violence at home, quoted in Mullender et al.,
  2002)
•  

16
What do children say about social services?

• Where accounts are positive, children are
  appreciative of an approach that built a
  relationship with the child and went at childs
  pace
• Childrens biggest criticism concerns re
  confidentiality and lack of information about
  what was going on
• Main reason for SSD involvement child
  protection, however some children report not
  being talked to directly

17
What do children say about teachers?

• Although mothers said they felt supported by
  schools, only 5 of 15 children said they did
  (McGee, 2000)
• Children wanted action taken on their behalf when
  they reported child protection concerns
• Lack of understanding of DV could mean teachers
  not sympathetic to problems children encountered
  tiredness, anxiety, impact of changing schools,
  problems with getting homework finished
  (Mullender, 2002)

18
What do children say about the police?

• Children felt that interventions with male
  perpetrators were rarely effective
• Police attending scenes of DV with children
  present did not always talk to them
• Children were not always kept accompanied or
  informed of what was happening with parents

19
Going at their pace

• Its important that they children feel that
  they are there of their own free will.that if
  they want a break or somebody makes them upset
  they dont have to stay. Because if theyre there
  and a subject really hurts them and they feel
  trappedthe next time they wont go backin case
  they feel trapped in that situation.
•   Templeton et al, 2003

20
How can professionals support children?

• Be aware of signs of problems at home and talk to
  children directly
• Work with the child at their pace remember
  children may feel they need to be given
  permission to talk
• Have clear/ reasonable expectations/ rules
• Promote positive role models
• Praise good behaviour promote self esteem and
  confidence
• Recognise and reassure about worries, including
  confidentiality
• Ensure the appropriate action is taken, making
  referrals on where necessary

21
How can professionals support children?

• Provide children with age appropriate information
• Encourage mothers and other family members to
  talk to children about what is happening
• Help children to think through and actively help
  to find solutions to their families problems.
• Keep children informed at all times and involved
  in subsequent decision-making
• Improve awareness and understanding of DV
  amongst all children
• Promote educational opportunities,
• social activities and friendships

22
Also encourage parents/carers to

• Spend time with/ talk to children
• Avoid emotional reactions and shouting
• Maintain boundaries around adult matters
• Explain requests and give choices
• Help children relinquish responsibilities
• Provide information to help child understand
  make sense of their own story
• Help children to manage existing relationships
  and form new attachments
• (Cunningham and Baker, 2004
• and Hart, 2004)

23
What needs to be done?

• More prevention via better education
• More training to ensure that professionals
  understand the impact of parental problems on
  children also how to communicate and respond to
  children
• Larger investment in specialist services to
  support children and parents e.g. helplines,
  refuges and support services
• More research on long term impact, what works
  with children and cultural context

24
Children are resilient

• We all cope in all sorts of ways.but lots of
  children are good at it. Children dont
  necessarily get upset and in a state about it.
  They can do fine with it. Some do get upset and
  they need support and caring because it is such a
  big thing. It is definitely a big thing for
  children.
• (Mullender et al., 2002)

25
Useful references

• Alcohol Concern (2005) Parenting, alcohol and
  treatment service provision. London Alcohol
  Concern
• Cunningham, A and Baker, L (2004) What about me!
  Seeking to understand a childs view of violence
  in the family. Centre for Children and Families
  in the Justice System. London Canada.
  www.lfc.on.ca/what_about_me.html
• Galvani, S. (2005) Alcohol and Domestic Violence
  Factsheet. Alcohol Concern
• Hart, D (2004) Care Planning for children looked
  after as a result of parental substance misuse
  in Phillips, R Children exposed to parental
  substance misuse. Implications for family
  placement. BAAF London
• Mullender A., Hague G., Umme I., Kelly L., Malos
  E. and Regan L. (2002). Childrens perspectives
  on domestic violence. London Sage 
• Gorin, S. (2004) Understanding what children say.
  Childrens experiences of domestic violence,
  parental substance misuse and parental health
  problems. London NCB for JRF
• Mullender, A. (2004) Tackling Domestic Violence
  providing support for children who have witnessed
  domestic violence. Home Office Development and
  Practice Report. http//www.homeoffice.gov.uk/rds