The 7 things parents do that undermine their own authority according to kids!

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The 7 things parents do that undermine their own
authority according to kids!
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The 7 things parents do that undermine their own
authority according to kids!
Hands up how many parents are still engaging in
device debates with the kids? How many of you
feel or even know that you may be losing? Have
you thought about why you could be losing? The
gap between what kids know and are engaging in
when compared to their parents is widening
including their observations of how you are
handling technology. Too often parents lack of
knowledge of the device world undermines their
own authority when it comes to guiding their
kids! So, we thought wed take it to some
deviceKids and find out what they think about
their parents own behaviours!
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1. Parent Who has the time to learn about apps
and technology, I dont really get it I just
get my kids to help me!
Parents say they want to know about what apps
we use or how to do this or that but then dont
pay attention when you show them and generally
dont remember what youve told them. They are
just lazy. Its like they try to be the parent in
charge but have no idea what they are doing.
Theyre not really that smart with technology
they act a bit hopeless.
Of course kids really like imparting their
knowledge on to parents because it makes them
feel smart, capable and valued. By listening to
them and taking on board what they are teaching
you about devices and social media, you are
contributing to your kid feeling respected and
modelling that you are actually interested in
what they are doing and that you are capable of,
and enjoy learning. It may be handy in the
beginning to have the kids do the tech stuff but
at some point, you do need to know what is going
on otherwise you will lose some respect from
the kids which undermines your authority.
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2. Parent Who knows what they get up to in the
online world I do trust they arent doing
anything they shouldnt be!
It would be quite impressive if parents really
understood the issues we face growing up in the
digital age instead of just saying how glad
they are that they didnt grow up today. Thats
not helpful. The truth is they have no idea what
we do online or even what we can do. Parents
dont really care what we do they dont even
know how to ask about it. Sometimes they are the
reason! If they had any clue on the topic they
would know how to help, but they dont..
Ouch! This is a biggy. You cant be over your
kids shoulder every minute of the day but you
can work hard to engage them and create an open
communication. This doesnt mean asking point
blank what are you doing online?. It takes
effort to build and instill trust, rapport and a
sense of safety for your kid to admit or discuss
whats on their mind and what they do online.
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There are so many reasons why they wont tell you
what they discuss on social media and often its
because they dont feel heard in their 3D word
and turn to strangers online. If kids dont
think that you understand or even worse, that you
dont care to understand then how can they rely
on you for help? This will very quickly undermine
your authority because your kids cant take your
words seriously.
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3. Parent Of course we have device boundaries
at home!.
My parents will tell you that they remove our
phones, but they dont. Mum just lies and dad
never removes our device, he is on his all the
time. They have double standards, they back down
really easily and dont really care if we have
our phone. Parents just dont want to look bad in
front of their friends especially other mums
from school. Its stupid really.
Our discussions with parents more times than not,
show that parents like to think they do reinforce
the rules but in truth, they are quite lax. This
impacts nobody else but your child, and in more
ways than one. Parents definitely promote what
they know they ought to be doing which
suggests they do have some idea of the need but
then dont do it. Perhaps its the parent guilt
syndrome to give in with saving face in front
their own parent peers to avoid judgement. Either
way, it really undermines your authority when
guiding your kids because they see the hypocrisy.
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4. Parent When the kids are on their devices it
means I can have a phone conversation and get
things done without interruption its
wonderful!
Parents are definitely happy when were on our
devices because were out of their way! My folks
dont really care what Im doing really unless
its to do chores or do something for them,
otherwise they are happy if Im on my phone and
quiet. This will be the same for most of my
friends, for sure.
An oldie but a goodie. Unfortunately weve got
ourselves into this mess and are now seeing the
consequences of using the device as the
babysitter, the pacifier and the silencer. Kids
like to be engaged with their parents its
important for their development. Kids like it
when you hang withthem, and listen to them and
play with them. You are their teacher for the
most part of their youth. How do you maintain any
authority when you allow kids on devices to
occupy them instead of being productive, engaging
and training them?
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5. Parents We hang out as a family often.
We hardly ever do anything as a family, watching
movies or being online is probably the most
together thing we do. They never want to do
anything, its always too hard or their too busy
or next time, or whatever the device is more
interesting anyway.
It seems like more and more family time and
conversations are obscured by a screen. We cant
even watch a movie together without nursing a
smart device and glancing at it exclusively every
second moment. Although you may think your kids
are quietly content in their room on social
media, dont be fooled. Reliance on a device is a
different feeling to wanting to have fun with you
and engage in something different! To not truly
engage with each other really denies kids an
opportunity to connect, learn something new or
have some genuine family and social fun. Seeing
you lead family outings, creating interests and
having fun puts you in a different light it
shows you in a leadership role that teaches your
kids new information, how to engage, how to
focus, how to laugh and enjoy each other.
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6. Parent I only use Facebook, but not all the
time I just check in
My mum is always posting to Facebook, shes more
interested in her friends than she is about
me. Parents dont realise how much they are on
their phone. I dont know what mum did before
Facebook and games! She will talk to you but you
definitely feel like youre interrupting her. I
think its rude.
You see it all the time, at school, at sport,
shopping kids trying to talk or show their
parents something whilst mum or dad are engrossed
in their phone or just hold on darling mummy
just has to do this, . sorry, what was that
son?. Parents surely you know that kids
especially tweens and teens are savvy they
can see your posts they know what you do and
say. Kids need your attention for a reason they
shouldnt have to constantly wait for you to be
done with your device. How can you hold any
authority with your kids and their device
behaviour when you a modelling the wrong behavior
in the first place?
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7. Parent I am more comfortable with them in
their room on the device than out with friends.
Its good because then we can do whatever we
want. Even when we are with our friends we are
online anyway because thats what we do. Its
better for gaming to not be using the same
console as it slows down the internet most of
my gaming friends are online anyway. I can do
whatever I want without question from my parents.
And so here it begins social media the place
where you meet people you would never normally
meet, where you feel like you belong when you
find other people who feel like you do, where you
fall in love and break up, the place to be seen,
to be cool to try to be popular the world where
you can be, do and say anything you want to with
little to know consequence. Social media the
place where you can roam the world free to do
anything and everything all access. Social
media, the all access pass, straight from behind
their bedroom door.
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