Introductions and Conclusions

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Introductions and Conclusions

• Lets look at the way some students have done it!

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Quick Write

• What makes a good introduction?
• Turn to your partner and discuss what you wrote.
• Share with the class.
• What makes a good introduction?
• Why is it important?

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Purposes for Introductions

• The introduction
• grabs the readers attention.
• clearly implies an organizational structure of
  the paper
• includes support that is specific and relevant,
  and provides a clear, connected lead-in to
  papers main idea or thesis.
• includes a thesis that is stated or implied

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Quote by William Zinsser

• The most important sentence in any article is the
  first one. If it doesnt induce the reader to
  proceed to the second sentence, your article,
  your story, YOUR ESSAY
• IS DEAD.
• Of such a progression of
• sentence, each tugging the
• reader forward until he is
• hooked. . .

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INEFFECTIVE Introductions

• You are going to learn about
• This essay/letter is about
• I am going to tell you about
• There are three reasons
• My opinion is that....
• The point I wish to make is. . .
• The fact of the matter is that

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Strategies for IntroductionsA writer may
begin with

• an anecdote or scenario
• a quotation or series of quotations
• a brief history/background information
• a startling statement (could be a fact,
  statistic, or opinion.)

• A vivid description
• a current event-Citizen of the World opening
• Contrast two opposing aspects of the topic
• The best thing to do is to combine two or three
  of the above strategies.

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An anecdote or scenario

• I lead a stressful life. I try to escape from
  my daily homework by taking a ten-minute walk,
  but often that does not work. After about two
  hours straight, I look for a different kind of
  relief my television set. Forms of
  entertainment, ranging from the soothing sounds
  of Beethoven to the bloody spectacles of the
  Roman Coliseum, have had a huge impact on both
  the individual and societys culture as a whole.
  However my case and the case of many of my
  friends, these forms of entertainment have shown
  us ways to build bombs, protest against our
  parents, and resist the relentless aim of
  education. Many fear that these forms of
  entertainment have the ability to destroy the
  values of society. These fears are well placed,
  as modern entertainments never-ending search for
  the next sensation can lead to the subversion
  of societys values and traditions.

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A quotation or dialogue

• Think all men make mistakes, but a good man
  yields when he knows his course is wrong, and
  repairs the evil The only crime is pride. says
  Teiresias in Antigone. In this play and many of
  the other Greek plays, the protagonist often has
  excessive pride or hubris. Because of pride the
  hapless main character makes a tragic mistake
  that causes his ruin. This pride and
  consequences have been the downfall of literary
  characters throughout the ages, from Hamlet to
  Sethe of Toni Morrison's Beloved.

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A brief history or background information

• Lyndon B. Johnson, as President, came up with a
  plan to get rid of poverty across the United
  States. He called it an "unconditional War on
  Poverty." Many organizations resulted from the
  plan and then many world organizations resulted
  from those, like UNICEF and Oxfam America.
  People have always tried to come up with ways to
  avoid and even abolish poverty, including a man
  named Peter Singer. Singer came up with "The
  Singer Solution to World Poverty."

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A startling fact/statistic

• China now produces as much as 70 of the
  merchandise sold by Wal-Mart. For many years,
  Americas economy was so dominant on the world
  stage, so out front in so many key areas, that we
  fell into the habit of thinking we were competing
  largely against ourselves. However, in recent
  years, with the leveling of the global playing
  field, it should be apparent that we are not just
  competing against ourselves. The opening up of
  countries like India, China, and Russia means
  that their young people can compete more easily
  and cheaply than ever before. And they are.
  This situation poses a large problem for the
  United States in the long run and we are coasting
  along as if we have all the time in the world.
  In fact, a solution must soon be found to reverse
  this outward flow of jobs.

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A vivid description

• Imagine walking into a bathroom that has no
  doors on the stalls, a massive scrapped piece of
  wall where a mirror used to hang, and age-old
  graffiti, shouting Mary Ellen is a slut
  covering the stall walls. Picture no toilet
  paper, the sanitary disposals overflowing, and
  the urinals stained with a dark brown substance.
  If a student tries to wash his or her hands,
  there is no soap, and if a student tries to dry
  his or her hands, there are no paper towels.
  Welcome to rest rooms in most suburban high
  schools. These and other conditions need to be
  examined. High schools in this country are not
  equal.

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A citizen of the world opening

In an era when all the frontiers of
civilization's expansion seems to have vanished,
when the settling and industrialization of all
the Earth's land and resources seem to have
reached a limit, we, as innate pioneers, look
towards space as our next domain of conquest.
Despite a hostile, belligerent beginning to the
Space Age, in the midst of global tension and a
treaty of total cataclysm, mankind has since
returned to space as a medium of peace and
progress. But space is not free, space is not
safe, and space is not easy. With millions of
dollars of the Federal budget tied up with NASA
and related institutions, with unforeseeable
dangers plaguing every launch reentry and
landing, and with public interest and support
dwindling, should the United States, or any
space-capable country for that matter, continue
to invest in exploring the frontier in the
oncoming century?
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Contrasting Two Points Of View

• Rodriguez contrasts Mexico and California not as
  two different places but two polar states of
  mind these cultural philosophies are indicative
  of his divided mind and conflicting feelings. He
  associates California with a youthful "wild
  child" outlook and Mexico with a more developed
  Epicurean pessimism. In the simplistic sense, he
  has endured from the youthful California to the
  older Mexican, but--looking back--he does not
  truly sympathize with the totality of this
  transformation or agree to discard wither world
  view in decisive favor of the other.

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Practice Task 11th Graders Directions Look
at our current prompt. How can we hook the
reader using a standard hook method? Each table
will be assigned a method. Together, using the
examples, write a hook for our current prompt.
Then, type it up and post it to your assigned
padlethttp//padlet.com/redheadlarkin/hook2

• Table 1 An anecdote or scenario
• Table 2 A quotation or dialogue
• Table 3 Brief history or background
• Table 4 Begin with a startling statement
• Table 5 Vivid Description
• Table 6 Current Event-Citizen of the World
• Table 8 Contrast 2 opposing views

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What do you want to remember?

• Turn to your partner and list 3 things you want
  to remember.

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Which one of these is the best conclusion?

• Ads are intended to do essentially one thing
  make a consumer desire a product. The scientific
  precision with which this is attempted these days
  makes ads potent influences on the brains of
  consumers. It is important for the public to
  recognize that advertisers are overtly trying to
  manipulate them, and every last ad should be
  viewed with skepticism.
• Advertising has many goals and the consumer needs
  to be aware of each and every one. This will
  effect how you shop and how you manage your
  money.

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Discussion

• Turn to your partner and discuss.
• Which conclusion did you pick and why?
• What makes a good conclusion?
• What is the purpose for a conclusion? What
  should it accomplish?
• Share with the class.
• What makes a good conclusion?
• Why is it important?

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The Purpose of Conclusions

• The purpose of the conclusion is to satisfy the
  reader by not only wrapping up the essay, but
  also giving him or her something to think about.
  This is your last chance to affect the reader.

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INEFFECTIVE Conclusions

• I hope you enjoyed reading my
• In this essay/letter you have learned
• In conclusion,
• As you can see/tell
• I just told you about
• (exact thesis)

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IN CONCLUSION should be banned from essays!

• It is regurgitating and not sophisticated. To
  use "in conclusion" is to insult your reader's
  intelligence
• -Lucile Payne
• Make sure your last sentence or paragraph is a
  joy in itself. It gives the reader a lift, and it
  lingers when the article is over.
• -William Zinsser

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Conclusion StrategiesWays to Achieve Your Purpose

• a dire prediction
• a response to a so what? question
• A wish, hope, self-reflection
• An ironic twist
• Offer a solution
• The best thing to do is use a combination of
  this list.

• A writer may end with
• an echo from the beginning of piece
• a quotation with analysis
• an anecdote
• A connection to a universal issue or American
  Tenet
• a generalization from information given,
  cause-effect
• call to action

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An Echo From The Beginning of the Piece

• Introduction In an era when all the frontiers
  of civilization's expansion seems to have
  vanished, when the settling and industrialization
  of all the Earth's land and resources seem to
  have reached a limit, we, as innate pioneers,
  look towards space as our next domain of
  conquest.
• Conclusion- Land has always been vanishing and
  yet we always seek and find more. We have always
  been explorers, consider Columbus going to the
  Americas, or Marco Polo for China, or American
  families for the Turner frontier. But if we,
  from hindsight, see how our civilization has
  changed as a result, we can say, with some
  confidence, that moving to space will also push
  mankind in the right direction. In our culture
  when a door has been opened, we take it.

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A Quotation

• The end justifies the means," argued
  Machiavelli. Why not apply this to charity?
  Taxes are basically funds going to causes like
  building up our schools, repaving roads, and
  building a better community for our children--if
  they are compulsory, it doesn't make much
  difference some good is happening. So, when
  incentives are tied to charitable acts
  (gratuities to the church) more good occurs than
  when selfless charity acts alone. Even if the
  case is somewhat skewed, ethics are ultimately
  about doing what is good and right by humanity.

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An Anecdote

• It is a typical Saturday night and boredom
  sweeps over like a blanket. I want an escape from
  the drudgery of my life and what do I turn
  toentertainment. Besides amusement,
  entertainment functions to promote artistic
  creativity and excellence. More than a mindless
  influence on society, entertainment informs,
  enlightens, and acts as an intellectual forum.
  The bullets from Tom Hanks semi-automatic in
  Saving Private Ryan are not meant to tell someone
  that killing is all right, but to showcase the
  danger and ugliness of war, while simultaneously
  astounding watchers with visual reality.

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A Prediction

• If reason and logic instead of dissent were
  truly present amidst the many thousands of
  controversies around the world, perhaps there
  would be peace in the Middle East, perhaps new
  thinkers and problem solvers would get the chance
  to bring hope to a fight that has gone on much
  too long, perhaps there would be no use for the
  excuse he started it because there would be
  less fighting in the world. But perhaps now is
  the time to start, perhaps by next year, we will
  see peace in the place where religion was born.

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A Call To Action

• But that means it is our job to determine what
  is true and what is contrived. It is not an easy
  task. But, as responsible citizens, it is one we
  must embrace. We must make an effort to stay
  well-informed at all times, make rational
  decisions about what we believe is true, and most
  importantly, voice our displeasure-via mouth,
  checkbook, or ballot-when we feel we are being
  lied to. The public has the ability to determine
  the course of society in this matter. Together,
  we just need to point society in the right
  direction-one of truthfulness and accountability
  and make it clear that we will not settle for
  anything less.

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A Generalization From Given Information

• While better education could maybe help to
  alleviate some of the pressure and burden caused
  by outsourcing, the real solution lies in having
  companies realize that, ultimately Maslow's
  hierarchy of basic needs should be met, but not
  at the expense of America's future. Therefore,
  companies need to monitor how much they outsource
  and limit it. Companies need to look at the
  entire picture and outsourcing must be
  maintained at a level to insure security and
  prosperity for future generations of Americans.

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So What conclusion

• All in all, the passage highlights a disturbing
  trend in American marketing the contents of The
  Onion could be real. If not for the inclusion of
  certain diction, details, and irony, the less
  intellectual reader would have called The Onion
  to order MagnaSoles. Imagine his disappointment
  when he learns they were telling the "semi-truth.

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A self reflection

• As I stand here among the mourning crowd, I
  think about the death of this lovely if maddening
  princess, and how her death has changed something
  inside me. Something, as the old song said, had
  to give, and perhaps this fantastic display of
  public grief, so vulgar in many ways, so
  unconvincing in others, has to it some spiritual
  element after all. Perhaps in their heartsas
  well as mine --the British people see Diana as a
  fellow victim of degraded times, and have
  instinctively seized upon her death as the moment
  for a fresh start.
• Using I reflections is extremely delicate.

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Offer a Solution

• All of us could make some sacrifices. We do not
  need a television in every room, but one is nice
  to have. We do not need a five-car garage, but
  owning a car is all right. We do not need a
  summer home in France and a winter home in
  Jamaica, but having proper heating and
  air-conditioning is not too much to ask. We need
  to help less fortunate, but giving away what we
  need is not a good idea. Poverty is truly a
  large problem in the world, but we need to treat
  its causes, not its symptoms. We need to work on
  how to help people find jobs, not throw money at
  them.

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Pass the Paragraph

• Number off 1 to 4.
• Each number will copy its assigned topic sentence
  on a piece of paper.
• Having a car in college is imperative.
• A younger brother/sister is a pest.
• Parents can sometimes be a teens worst enemy.
• Advertising can be deceptive.

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Pass the Paragraph, Continued

• On the teacher's signal, pass the paper to the
  right.
• Write one detail that will support the topic you
  receive.
• Pass the paper again and layer another item of
  detail.
• Repeat until there are at least 3 layered
  details.
• Write the conclusion using one of the conclusion
  strategies. Label it.
• Share with your group and pick the best one to
  share with the class.

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REFLECTION

• What have your learned about introductions?
• What have your learned about conclusions?
• How can you use this information?