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Chapter 3: Family Communication, Conflict, and Forgiveness

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Title: Chapter 3: Family Communication, Conflict, and Forgiveness


1
Chapter 3 Family Communication, Conflict, and
Forgiveness
2
The Communication Process
  • Transactional Process one in which we
    simultaneously affect and are affected by our
    intimate relations
  • Focus is on the interconnectedness of the
    relationship

3
Family Systems Theory
  • Views the family as an interconnected system
  • Developed by Murray Bowen

4
Family Systems Theory
  • Family System is a dynamic entity that consists
    of various individuals and their interconnected,
    intergenerational patterns of interaction.
  • The primary function is to bring the parts
    together and arrange them into a whole, organized
    entity.

5
  • Figure 3.1 Virginia Satirs Concept of the
    Family as a Mobile

6
Key Concepts of Systems Framework
  • Interconnecting family members affect and are
    affected by each other
  • Looking at the whole individual members
    behavior can only be understood by looking at the
    whole

7
Key Concepts of Systems Framework
  • Establishing boundaries every system has some
    border between it and its environment
  • Closed boundaries no information in or out
  • Open boundaries information is unobstructed,
    families lose identity
  • Maintaining balance families work to achieve
    and maintain homeostasis

8
  • Figure 3.2 Types of Boundaries

9
Circumplex Model of Marital and Family Systems
  • Addresses family cohesion, adaptability, and
    communication
  • Assesses familys level of functioning

10
  • Figure 3.3 Olsons Circumplex Model of Family
    Functioning

11
Creating Rules for Communication
  • What we can and cannot talk about
  • Feelings that are allowed to be shared
  • Decision making
  • How we can talk about it
  • Communication strategy

12
  • Table 3.1 Cultural Competence Enhancing
    Cultural Communication Skills

13
  • Table 3.1 Cultural Competence Enhancing
    Cultural Communication Skills

14
Symbolic Interaction Framework
  • All human behavior revolves around social
    behavior where there is an exchange of messages
    and symbolic meanings between actors.
  • Symbols used to share meanings
  • Roles a system of meanings
  • Role strain competing demands from multiple
    roles
  • Role conflict conflicting role pressures

15
Types of Communication
  • Communication the process of making and sharing
    meanings
  • Transaction parties act as senders and receivers
    of information
  • Process dynamic and ever changing
  • Involves Co-Construction constructing
    definitions
  • Involves Symbols used to construct meanings and
    definitions

16
Verbal Communication
  • Exchanges of thoughts, messages, or information
    through the spoken word
  • Fundamental Processes of Verbal Communication
  • Communication Effectiveness
  • Perceptual Accuracy
  • Predictive Accuracy
  • Interpersonal Cognitive Complexity

17
  • Table 3.2 Verbal Communication Processes

18
Nonverbal Communication
  • Emotional communication gestures and movements
    that convey our emotions
  • Occurs with or without the spoken word
  • Includes facial expressions, motions of the body,
    eye contact, patterns of touch, expressive
    movements, hand gestures and more

19
Relational and Non-relational Messages
  • Relational those having something to do with
    the partnership
  • Non-relational those dealing with issues or
    topics outside of the relationship
  • Decoding interpreting the unspoken exchanges

20
Types of Emotional Messages
  • Positive Emotional Messages
  • Love, pleasure, affection
  • Negative Emotional Messages
  • Anger and irritation
  • Neutral Emotional Messages
  • Non-specific, ambiguous, hard to interpret

21
Private Couple Meanings
  • Special interaction between partners
  • Predictive in nature
  • Based on information that only partners share
    with one another

22
Conflict in Relationships
  • Areas of conflict
  • Money matters
  • Division of household labor
  • Sex
  • Tremendous trifles

23
Constructive Conflict
  • Constructive Conflict builds relationships and
    fosters loyalty, commitment and intimacy
  • How couples handle conflict determines marital
    longevity

24
Regulated Couples
  • Use communication patterns that promote closeness
    and intimacy
  • Validating Couple empathetic, supportive, seldom
    express negative emotions
  • Volatile Couple charged with intense emotion,
    passion, romance, intense disputes but remain
    intimately connected
  • Conflict-Minimizing Couple avoid conflict,
    minimize significance of trouble, conflict kept
    below the surface

25
Non-regulated Couples
  • Have difficulty resolving conflicts, interactions
    far more negative
  • Criticism involves attack on the partner
  • Defensiveness criticism/defend pattern becomes a
    cycle of negativity
  • Contempt disrespect, scorn, hatred
  • Stonewalling communication between partners
    shuts down

26
Destructive Conflict
  • May be overt or covert
  • Denial when words and actions do not match
  • Disqualification when a person covers-up an
    expressed emotion
  • Displacement when a person takes out anger on
    someone else
  • Disengaged no emotional closeness
  • Pseudo-mutuality false closeness with underlying
    anger and hostility

27
Functional and Nurturing Communication
  • Functional Communication
  • Addresses the important functions of daily life
  • Nurturing Communication
  • Conveys intimacy, caring, recognition and
    validation of family members

28
Cornerstones of Communication
  • Developing Relational Cultures
  • Relational culture is a framework of
    understandings
  • Coordinate attitudes, actions and identities of
    the couple and family

29
Cornerstones of Communication
  • Confirming messages and responses
  • Acknowledgement of the other person
  • Willingness to be involved in the relationship
  • Recognition confirming and acknowledging, may be
    verbal or nonverbal
  • Confirming simple recognition and acceptance of
    one another
  • Acceptance every family feels they belong

30
Cornerstones of Communication
  • Self-disclosure voluntarily sharing personal
    information
  • Self-disclosure
  • Increases as relational intimacy increases
  • Increases when there are rewards
  • Tends to be reciprocal
  • Increases relational satisfaction

31
Cornerstones of Communication
  • Communicate often
  • Family communication can be enhanced or hindered
    by the time spent in the process of communication
  • Family meetings provide structure and
    organization to the family system

32
Cornerstones of Communication
  • Listen actively
  • means actually hearing what the other person is
    saying
  • reflective listening means paying attention to
    verbal and nonverbal messages

33
  • Table 3.3 Poor Listening Styles

34
Cornerstones of Communication
  • Use humor
  • Laughing produces endorphins which relax and calm
    us
  • Laughter and humor provide a way to relieve
    stress in certain situations
  • Humor brings people together and helps keep
    things in perspective

35
  • Table 3.4 Rank Ordering of the Forgiveness
    Process by Study Participants
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