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Parenting in the Pew

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Faith_at_Home is an international movement within the church that addresses the exodus of children ... Even better if they have their own Bible and can highlight it ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Parenting in the Pew


1
Parenting in the Pew
  • Training Our Children
  • in the Art and Love
  • of Worship

2
What is FAITH_at_HOME?
  • Faith_at_Home is an international movement within
    the church that addresses the exodus of children
    from the church. We help local churches and
    ministries in continually shaping discipleship so
    that it is increasingly home-centered and
    church-assisted, as opposed to our more prevalent
    outsourcing, church-focused mindset.
  • Faith_at_Home breaks down the walls of the church
    and works to be the antidote to the hypocrisy
    that has been turning our children away from the
    faith.

3
Why Focus on the Home?
  • The Reality
  • Fewer than 10 of parents who regularly attend
    church with their kids read the Bible together,
    pray together (other than at meal times) or
    participate in an act of service as a family
    unit.
  • Only 28 of churched youth have talked with mom
    about faith. Only 13 of churched youth have
    talked with dad about faith.
  • Yet the same studies also show that mom dad
    are the top 2 spiritual influencers of their
    children and any faith formation that happens at
    home is 2-3x more effective.
  • The Result of This Disparity
  • 69-94 of evangelical children are leaving the
    church shortly after they finish high school.

4
Faith_at_home doesnt mean your Parents are in it
alone
  • The churchs job is to partner with parents by
    equipping them and joining in the journey of
    discipling our kids. (1 Timothy 5)
  • The authors of Sticky Faith, Kara Powell Dr.
    Chap Clark, encourage flipping our adult to child
    ratios from 15 to 51, because their research
    has shown that another key factor that sets
    children up for lifelong faith is a strong
    network of intergenerational relationships with
    adult believers.
  • They, in fact, said that The closest our
    research has come to that definitive silver
    bullet is this sticky finding for high school
    and college students, there is a relationship
    between attendance at church-wide worship
    services and Sticky Faith.And while our research
    didnt specifically examine the effecton younger
    children, our guess is that its not just the
    teenagers who benefit from that inter-age
    connection.

5
Kids in Church? (are our Expectations RealisTic?)
6
What is worship? A new (or not-so-new)
Perspective
  • What is worship?
  • How do you worship God?
  • Why do you worship God?
  • When do you worship God?

7
What is worship? A new (or not-so-new)
Perspective Continued
  • Worship expression of adoration and reverence,
    God-centeredness, glorifying God alone.
  • Barak, a Hebrew word for worship used repeatedly
    in the Old Testament, means to pay singular
    tribute to God alone.
  • Worship is more than loving God. Worship is
    intentional act of making it all about God in
    light of who God is and what He is worth. True
    worship is one-directional and has nothing to do
    with me.

8
What is worship? A new (or not-so-new)
Perspective Continued
  • The unspoken, but increasingly common
    assumption of todays Christendom is that worship
    is primarily for us to meet our needs. Such
    worship services are entertainment-focused, and
    the worshipers are uncommitted spectators who
    silently grade the performanceTaken to the nth
    degree, this instills a tragic self-centeredness.
    - Kent Hughes, sr. pastor of College Church in
    Wheaton, IL
  • In a sermon entitled Why Worship? Max Lucado
    said, Never has one phrase rerouted my life more
    thanIts not about me, and its not about
    now.When we truly worship, we declare Gods
    glory, and it takes the attention off ourselves,
    centering it where it should be.

9
Representing the Body in worship
  •  For by the grace given me I say to every one of
    you Do not think of yourself more highly than
    you ought, but rather think of yourself with
    sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God
    has distributed to each of you. For just as each
    of us has one body with many members, and these
    members do not all have the same function, (Rom.
    123-4)
  •  Jesus said, Let the little children come to me,
    and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven
    belongs to such as these. (Mt. 1914)
  • And he said Truly I tell you, unless you
    change and become like little children, you will
    never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mt. 183)
  • Samuel lay down until morning and then opened
    the doors of the house of the Lord. He was afraid
    to tell Eli the vision, but Eli called him and
    said, Samuel, my son. Samuel answered, Here I
    am. What was it he said to you? Eli asked. Do
    not hide it from me. May God deal with you, be it
    ever so severely, if you hide from me anything he
    told you. 18 So Samuel told him everything,
    hiding nothing from him. Then Eli said, He is
    the Lord let him do what is good in his eyes.(1
    Sam. 315-18)

10
Changing the Culture
  • Communicate with your congregation regularly
    about the real goal of worship and the importance
    of having children with us.
  • Do small things make worship more inviting to
    families.
  • Provide kids bulletins, crayons, worship bags,
    and/or kids Bibles.
  • Make room in the sanctuary by providing special
    seating area and/or blankets in the back/side.
  • Verbally welcome/encourage parents and kids.
  • Integrate more interaction/learning styles
    throughout worship.
  • Work with your parents through regular
    encouragement and providing resources. (Like a
    Parenting in the Pew workshop!)

11
TIPS Tools
  • The
  • PRACTICAL
  • Stuff

12
Things to remember
  • Intentionally training your child in the joy of
    worship is a spiritual practice in and of itself.
    Trust me, you might get as much out of this as
    they do.
  • The goal is not quiet, well-behaved children. The
    goal is to regularly guide them into a worship
    experience that is not about them, but about God
    and his Body.
  • Its okay to whisper!! Use any opportunity to
    give your child a bit of context and help them
    connect.
  • Have some basic ideas about God that you are
    working on throughout the week and can reference
    during worship. (E.g. This is a Jesus loves us
    song. This is a God is so great song. This is
    when we talk to God and thank him for what Hes
    given us.)
  • Make a worship bag. Include things that they
    can use to quietly respond to what they are
    hearing or thinking about. (E.g. their Bible, a
    pad of paper, crayons, pens, snacks, pipe
    cleaners, etc. If youre really adventurous play
    dough and a plastic lid.)
  • NOTE In order to get the children to really
    engage in the rest of worship, only bring the bag
    out during the sermon or other long periods of
    sitting/listening.

13
Worship Training Starts at home
  • Get excited about worshiping God! (If you act
    like Sunday is a chore, your kids will too.)
  • Set 2-3 clear expectations for worship and give
    them opportunities (like dinner time) to practice
    meeting those expectations during the week.
  • Sunday morning starts Saturday night. (Lay out
    clothes, pack a worship bag, build anticipation!)
  • Sunday morning, set your kids up for success.
    (Give yourself enough time to get ready without
    rushing. Feed them a good breakfast. Arrive
    early.)
  • Right before worship, take a bathroom break/water
    fountain trip. Anticipate needs/requests
    address now.

14
Worshiping With your Child
  • Welcome Make sure your kid gets a bulletin.
    Look ahead at whats coming give them the job
    of checking off things as you go.
  • Finding Your Spot Choose wisely. Sit near the
    front and/or somewhere with extra wiggle room, if
    possible.
  • Worship Music Give your kids a chance to move.
    Cue them in on repetitive words and themes.
  • Prayer How do you want your child to physically
    respond to prayer? Cuddle with small children
    whisper sound bites to them so that you can
    emphasize what you are praying about. Talk about
    the meaning of Amen with your kids.

15
Worshiping With your Child continued
  • Announcements Connect with your kids about
    announcements. Comment on things help them
    connect. (E.g. That looks fun. Maybe we should
    think about going together!, Did you know that
    when your in youth group, you could go on the
    Mexico trip?)
  • Pew Pads Give children who can write the job of
    adding the familys names.
  • Scripture Reading Help them to find the
    verse(s). Even better if they have their own
    Bible and can highlight it each week.
  • Special Events (E.g. new members, baptism)
    Offer sound bites encapsulating explaining.
    Find ways to connect them with the event.

16
Worshiping With your Child continued
  • Passing the Peace Be outgoing yourself and
    welcome those around you. Include your children
    in these moments.
  • Offering Help them find something to offer.
    (Little ones can participate just by adding
    change. Older children can learn to tithe their
    allowances or just offer to help the ushers pass
    plates.)
  • Communion Kids not old enough to partake can
    still participate! Utilize chances to explain
    what Jesus has done. Give your child a blessing.

17
Worshiping With your Child continued
  • Sermon
  • For very young ones, the message is a good time
    for snuggles and snacks or a nap.
  • For older children, pull out their worship bags.
    Depending on age, you can ask your child to
  • Draw or write something they hear in the
    message.
  • Make a quiz for you to take after church.
  • Pick a word(s) from the message topic have you
    child make tic marks to see how many times its
    mentioned.
  • Do anything with their worship bag materials
    that they think is related to the message or God
    BUT they need to tell you about it later.

18
After Service ENDS
  • Your first words after service ends, should be
    words of praise. (Avoid empty praise seek to
    truly find something that your appreciated seeing
    them do as they worshiped.)
  • Dont be shy! Chat up the pastor or other church
    members while including your child.
  • If you decided to do a quiz, make sure to follow
    through on the drive home or at lunch.
  • Another great thing to make a habit of on the
    drive home or during Sunday lunch, is for
    everyone to share something that stuck out from
    church. Whether it was a sermon idea or just that
    your preschooler saw their friend, you can point
    it all back to God.

19
How can the Church help?
  • Offer a Parenting in the Pew workshop/breakfast.
  • Example invitation email and schedule included
    in notes.
  • Include influential people from your worship
    service to host.
  • Tailor the workshop to highlight the ways that
    kids can engage in your specific service rhythm.
  • Provide multiple and regular opportunities for
    intergenerational connection.
  • Explore ways that you can better connect church
    and home.
  • Be obnoxiously repetitive in your message that
    parents are primary and that we need all the
    generations together to best represent the
    Kingdom of God.

20
Parenting in the Pew Guiding your children into
the joy of worship
  • Robbie Castlemans book, Parenting in the Pew
    Guiding Your Children into the Joy of Worship
    was a significant resource and inspiration for
    this workshop. The title of this workshop is
    borrowed from this book. This book can be
    purchased at Amazon.com.
  • ISBN 0830837779

21
More Suggested Resources (Also available at
Amazon.Com)
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