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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

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Title: Science Writing 5 Author: Kristin Cobb Last modified by: Kristin Created Date: 5/17/1996 12:08:30 PM Document presentation format: Letter Paper (8.5x11 in) – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Scientific Writing, HRP 214


1
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Weekly Quiz

2
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. She doesnt take compliments well.
  • B. She doesnt take complements well.

3
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. She doesnt take compliments well.
  • B. She doesnt take complements well.

4
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Hes not rational at that time of the day.
  • B. Hes not rationale at that time of the day.

5
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Hes not rational at that time of the day.
  • B. Hes not rationale at that time of the day.

6
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Her rationale was that the drugs would help
    alleviate the pain.
  • B. Her rational was that the drugs would help
    alleviate the pain.

7
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Her rationale was that the drugs would help
    alleviate the pain.
  • B. Her rational was that the drugs would help
    alleviate the pain.

8
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. We worked on localizing proteins in the cell
    from their phylogenetic profiles.
  • B. We worked on locating proteins in the cell
    from their phylogenetic profiles.

9
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. We worked on localizing proteins in the cell
    from their phylogenetic profiles.
  • B. We worked on locating proteins in the cell
    from their phylogenetic profiles.

10
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. That action violated her principles.
  • B. That action violated her principals.

11
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. That action violated her principles.
  • B. That action violated her principals.

12
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

13
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

14
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
    chocolate.
  • B. The dessert was composed of cream and
    chocolate.

15
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
    chocolate.
  • B. The dessert was composed of cream and
    chocolate.

16
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
  • B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

17
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
  • B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

18
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
    sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
  • chocolate sauce.

19
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
    sauce.
  • B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
  • chocolate sauce.

20
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. She accepted the compliment without a word.
  • B. She accepted the complement without a word.

21
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. She accepted the compliment without a word.
  • B. She accepted the complement without a word.

22
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The sequencing of the human genome has been
    compared to a schoolyard brawl.
  • B. The sequencing of the human genome has been
    compared with a schoolyard brawl.

23
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The sequencing of the human genome has been
    compared to a schoolyard brawl.
  • B. The sequencing of the human genome has been
    compared with a schoolyard brawl.
  • .

24
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. You should take some ice cream its
    complimentary.
  • B. You should take some ice cream its
    complementary.

25
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. You should take some ice cream its
    complimentary.
  • B. You should take some ice cream its
    complementary.

26
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The 20-pound weight loss helped his
    self-confidence.
  • B. The 20 pound weight loss helped his
    self-confidence.

27
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. The 20-pound weight loss helped his
    self-confidence.
  • B. The 20 pound weight loss helped his
    self-confidence.

28
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. He was very complimentary of your work.
  • B. He was very complementary of your work.

29
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. He was very complimentary of your work.
  • B. He was very complementary of your work.

30
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Red and green are complementary colors.
  • B. Red and green are complimentary colors.

31
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Red and green are complementary colors.
  • B. Red and green are complimentary colors.
  • --Complementary colors are located
  • directly across from each other
  • on the color wheel.
  • --Complementary pairs contrast
  • because they share no common
  • colors.
  • (For example, red and green are
  • complements, because green is
  • made of blue and yellow.)

32
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Each person is responsible for their grade.
  • B. Each person is responsible for his grade.

33
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A. Each person is responsible for their grade.
  • B. Each person is responsible for his grade.

34
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Meanings may differ based on S-V agreement re
    number
  • ORIGINAL
  • Public trust in the peer review process and the
    credibility of published articles depend in part
    on how well conflict of interest is handled
    during writing, peer review, and editorial
    decision making.
  • OR?
  • Public trust in the peer review process and the
    credibility of published articles depends in part
    on how well conflict of interest is handled
    during writing, peer review, and editorial
    decision making.

35
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ORIGINAL A B ? verb plural
  • (Public trust in the peer review process) and
    (the credibility of published articles) depend in
    part on how well conflict of interest is handled
    during writing, peer review, and editorial
    decision making.
  • OR? Subject (clause item A B) ? verb singular
  • Public trust in (the peer review process and the
    credibility of published articles) depends in
    part on how well conflict of interest is handled
    during writing, peer review, and editorial
    decision making.

36
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A serious problem in large-scale trials that
    require/requires the investment of tremendous
    resources, financial and otherwise, and
    take/takes years to complete are/is that
    their interpretation is often clouded by a
    problem in design or methodology that may not
    have been appreciated at an early stage of the
    study.

37
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A serious problem in large-scale trials that
    require the investment of tremendous resources,
    financial and otherwise, and take years to
    complete is that their interpretation is often
    clouded by a problem in design or methodology
    that may not have been appreciated at an early
    stage of the study.
  • PROBLEM is
  • TRIALS require, take

38
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  •  1. The recent identification of high
    concentrations of aged urban pollutant haze in
    the Arctic Basin suggests the possibility of
    climate modification through the interaction of
    the haze with solar radiation. The presence of
    the absorbing aerosol layer over a high-albedo
    surface will lead to an enhancement in the
    absorption of solar radiation by the atmosphere
    and surface surface system. This additional
    heating will manifest itself as an increase in
    the temperature of the atmosphere and an increase
    in the rate of ice melt in the spring.

39
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  •  1. Investigators recently identified high
    concentrations of air pollution in the Arctic
    Basin. This layer of haze may trap solar energy
    in the Earths atmosphere, cause a rise in the
    Earths temperature, and accelerate the rate at
    which Arctic ice melts in the spring.

40
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 2. There are a number of known causes of
    epilepsy. However, epilepsy with a definite
    antecedent neurologic insult that is presumed to
    be causal applies to only about one-third of all
    cases of epilepsy. The remaining two-thirds are
    idiopathic/cryptogenic.

41
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • Epilepsy is caused by a known neurologic insult
    in about one-third of cases the remainder are
    idiopathic/cryptogenic.

42
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 3. There are difficulties in applying the
    syndrome classification to population-based
    studies. First, the necessary information may
    not be available. Second, syndromes are, in
    part, classified by prognosis, and therefore not
    applicable to incidence cases. Third, a large
    proportion of population-based cases may not fit.
    A system incorporating the syndrome
    classification as reasonably as possible into
    population-based studies is needed.

43
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • 3. The current syndrome classification system is
    inadequate in several respects the necessary
    information is not always available syndromes
    are, in part, classified by prognosis, and
    therefore not applicable to incident cases and a
    large proportion of population-based cases dont
    fit.

44
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 4. The two results are found to be in agreement.

45
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • 4. The two results agree.

46
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 5. There is enormous variety of clinical
    presentation, as symptoms vary depending on the
    tumors location, size, and malignant versus
    benign behavior.

47
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • 5. Clinical presentation varies widely depending
    on a tumors location and size, and whether it is
    malignant or benign.

48
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 6. Biostatistics can be a lot of fun because of
    the multidisciplinary team approach. In one
    project we have a nutritionist, a psychologist,
    statisticians, a computer specialist, and
    dietitians a whole range of specialties. When we
    all get together, everyone has a perspective to
    bring to the problem.

49
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • 6. Our enjoyable multidisciplinary approach to
    biostatistics brings together nutritionists,
    psychologists, statisticians, computer engineers,
    and dietitianseach of whom adds a different
    perspective to the problem.

50
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 7. The high-dissonance participants were paid a
    small sum of money while being given a free
    choice of whether to participate, whereas the
    participants we randomly assigned to the
    large-incentive treatment (the low-dissonance
    condition) were not offered the opportunity to
    refuse.

51
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • 7. High-dissonance participants were paid a
    small sum of money and were not required to
    participate low-dissonance participants were
    paid a large sum of money and were required to
    participate.

52
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • 8. The reasons for this exception are as follows
    1) although the assessment of birth cohort data
    often shares with other descriptive approaches a
    reliance on information that is usually
    available, it requires the application of an
    analytical approach with a level of complexity
    usually not found in descriptive epidemiology
    and 2) this type of analysis is often key for the
    understanding of the observed association between
    age (often strongly associated with the
    occurrence of many diseases as well as their
    determinants) and disease in cross-sectional
    analysis."

53
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 HOMEWORK ANSWERS
  • Possible rewrite
  • 8. Birth cohort analysis will be treated
    separately from other descriptive approaches
    because 1) analyzing birth cohort data requires
    more complex statistical methods and 2)
    confounding by birth cohort is a common problem
    in cross-sectional studies.

54
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP
  • Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for
    the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may
    reduce the progression of the disease.
  • Identify the problems
  • -- to be is a weak verb (may be protective)
  • --you dont protect for, you protect against
    (word choice)
  • --occurrence is a vague, weak noun
  • --can you reduce progression? (word choice)
  • --progression of disease? disease progression

55
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP
  • Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for
    the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may
    reduce the progression of the disease.
  • ?
  • Anti-inflammatory agents may protect against
    Alzheimers Disease and retard disease
    progression.

56
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP
  • Important studies to examine the descriptive
    epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
    and changes in the characteristics of the
    population over time, have begun.
  • Identify the problems
  • --wheres the verb?
  • --watch fluff words like important
  • --can changes occur without being over time?
  • -- changes in the characteristics of the
    population is vague and wordy

57
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP
  • Important studies to examine the descriptive
    epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
    and changes in the characteristics of the
    population over time, have begun.
  • ?
  • Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology
    of autism, including recent changes in the
    disorders prevalence and characteristics.

58
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Lecture Five Writing Basics III
  • Putting it all together and a few last points

59
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • REVIEW paragraphs and organization

60
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

61
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 verb-tally
to be 8 to have 2 passive verbs 1 Others?
experiences, distinguishes
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

62
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 wordiness tally
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

63
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 avoid meta-comment
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

64
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 outline ideas
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
    disorders are a consequence of an underlying
    condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
    infection or a head injury. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache disorder is the
    fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
    another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
    Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
    classification system used, a brief comment on
    others would be appropriate especially if there
    are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

65
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Idea flow chart
(outline)
66
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
    symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
    one time or another. As a pain symptom,
    headaches have many causes. The full range of
    these causes were categorized by the
    International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
    IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
    disorders primary headache disorders and
    secondary headache disorders.

Repetition can sometimes help transitions, but
here its just repetitive!
67
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone
    experiences. The International Headache Society
    (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on
    cause primary headache disorders and secondary
    headache disorders.

68
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Secondary headache disorders are a consequence
    of an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In
    primary headache disorders, the headache disorder
    is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic
    of another cause. The two most common types of
    primary headache disorders are episodic
    tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.

Also, consider ordering first (primary), then
second (secondary)
69
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • In primary headache disorders, the headache
    itself is the main complaint. The two most
    common types of primary headache disorder are
    episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
    migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
    from an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

70
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • In primary headache disorders, the headache
    itself is the main complaint. The two most
    common types of primary headache disorder are
    episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
    migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
    from an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

71
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • ?
  • In primary headache disorders, the headache
    itself is the main complaint. The two most
    common types of primary headache disorder are
    episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
    migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
    from an underlying condition, such as a brain
    tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

72
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 together
  • Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone
    experiences. The International Headache Society
    (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on
    cause primary headache disorders and secondary
    headache disorders. In primary headache
    disorders, the headache itself is the main
    complaint. The two most common types of primary
    headache disorder are episodic tension-type
    headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache
    disorders result from an underlying condition,
    such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a
    head injury.

73
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Compare to outline
74
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A note paraphrasing and plagiarism

75
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 a few notes on
paraphrasing
  • Use your own words
  • Work from memory
  • Draw your own conclusions
  • Do not simply re-arrange the original authors
    words
  • Do not mimic the original authors sentence
    structure

76
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paraphrasing
  • Original
  • If the existence of a signing ape was
    unsettling for linguists, it was also startling
    news for animal behaviorists.
  • Unacceptable
  • An ape who knew sign language unsettled
    linguists and startled animal behaviorists.
  • Unacceptable
  • If the presence of a sign-language-using chimp
    was disturbing for scientists studying language,
    it was also surprising to scientists studying
    animal behavior.
  • Fine
  • When they learned of an ape's ability to use
    sign language, both linguists and animal
    behaviorists were taken by surprise.

77
Plagiarism example
  • Original passage (Klibanski et al. 1995)
  • One possibility is that the dose of estrogen
    effective in treating postmenopausal women is
    inadequate in a younger population. Second,
    whether continued improvement in bone mass can be
    seen in patients treated for a duration of time
    longer than the current study is unknown. A third
    possibility is that patients were not compliant
    with hormone therapy.A fourth and likely
    explanation is that estrogen therapy alone cannot
    correct the multiple factors contributing to bone
    loss in women with anorexia nervosa. In addition
    to profound estrogen deficiency, nutritional and
    other hormonal variables have been implicated in
    the pathogenesis of bone loss. These factors,
    including IGF-1 deficiency cortisol excess and
    decreased androgen production are unaffected by
    estrogen administration and may have a continuing
    deleterious effect on bone mass.

78
Plagiarism example
  • Plagiarized passage (Munoz et al. 2002)
  • One possibility is that the dose of estrogen
    estrogen dose which is effective in treating
    postmenopausal women is inadequate in a younger
    population. Second, whether continued improvement
    in bone mass can may be seen in patients treated
    for a duration of time longer longer period of
    time than the current study is unknown. A third
    possibility is that patients were not compliant
    with hormone therapy.A fourth third and more
    likely explanation is that estrogen therapy alone
    cannot correct the multiple factors contributing
    to bone loss in women with anorexia nervosa AN.
    In addition to profound estrogen deficiency
    hypoestrogenism, nutritional and other hormonal
    variables have been implicated in the
    pathogenesis of bone loss. These factors,
    including IGF-1 deficiency cortisol excess and
    decreased androgen production are unaffected by
    estrogen administration and may have a continuing
    deleterious effect on bone mass.

79
Plagiarism example, same paper
  • Original passage (Klibanski et al. 1995)
  • Our data demonstrate that, despite its
    usefulness in perimenopausal women, estrogen and
    progestin administration does not reverse the
    profound osteopenia seen in all young women with
    anorexia nervosa. Trabecular bone loss is severe
    and may progress despite estrogen therapy.
  • Plagiarized passage (Munoz et al. 2002)
  • In conclusion, our data demonstrate that,
    despite its usefulness in perimenopausal women,
    estrogen and gestagen administration does not
    reverse the profound osteopenia seen in all young
    women with AN. Trabecular bone loss is severe and
    may progress despite estrogen therapy.

80
Plagiarism example, same paper
  • Original passage (Klibanski et al. 1995)
  • There are no prospective studies of trabecular
    BD in adult women with anorexia nervosa, and it
    is unknown whether there is a progressive and
    permanent decline in bone mass. Although the role
    of estrogen replacement therapy in preventing
    bone loss in premenopausal women is clearly
    established, no studies have addressed whether is
    is beneficial in young women with premenopausal
    osteopenia.
  • Plagiarized passage (Munoz et al. 2002)
  • There are some published data on trabecular
    bone mineral density (BMD) in adult women with
    AN. but it is still unknown whether there is a
    progressive or permanent decline in bone mass.
    Although the role of estrogen replacement therapy
    in preventing bone loss in menopausal women has
    been clearly established, no studies have been
    carried out to determine whether it is beneficial
    in young women with premenopausal osteopenia

81
Plagiarism
From page 7 of McCaffertys first novel Bridget
is my age and lives across the street. For the
first twelve years of my life, these
qualifications were all I needed in a best
friend. But that was before Bridgets braces came
off and her boyfriend Burke got on, before Hope
and I met in our seventh-grade honors classes.
From page 14 of Viswanathans novel Priscilla
was my age and lived two blocks away. For the
first fifteen years of my life, those were the
only qualifications I needed in a best friend. We
had first bonded over our mutual fascination with
the abacus in a playgroup for gifted kids. But
that was before freshman year, when Priscillas
glasses came off, and the first in a long string
of boyfriends got on.
82
Plagiarism
From page 213 of McCaffertys first novel
Marcus then leaned across me to open the
passenger-side door. He was invading my personal
space, as I had learned in Psych class, and I
instinctively sank back into the seat. That just
made him move in closer. I was practically one
with the leather at this point, and unless I
hopped into the backseat, there was nowhere else
for me to go. From page 175 of Viswanathans
novel Sean stood up and stepped toward me,
ostensibly to show me the book. He was definitely
invading my personal space, as I had learned in a
Human Evolution class last summer, and I
instinctively backed up till my legs hit the
chair I had been sitting in. That just made him
move in closer, until the grommets in the leather
embossed the backs of my knees, and he finally
tilted the book toward me.
83
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 REVISING
  • The revision process

84
Another example
  • Original paper (2004) Although earlier
    registry-based analyses of second neoplasms after
    breast cancer (BC) did not detect an increased
    risk of cutaneous melanoma (CM),12 several
    more recent registry-based34 and
    hospital-based5 studies have documented a
    statistically significant increased risk of CM
    after BC with standardized incidence ratios
    (SIRs) ranging from 1.4 to 2.7.
  • Second paper (2009) Recent registry-based 1,2
    and hospital-based 3,4 studies have documented
    a statistically significant increased risk of CM
    after BC with standardized incidence ratios
    (SIRs) ranging from 1.4 to 2.7.
  • (references are the same)

85
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 REVISING
  • Dont be afraid to cut.
  • Experiment with re-arranging your words and
    paragraphs (try alternative permutations). (zoom
    in)
  • Give your work an organizational review. (zoom
    out)
  • Read your work out loud.
  • Work with a good editor.

86
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Organizational check-list
  • Are the what, so what, and why explained in
    your opening paragraphs?
  • Are the introductory and historical materials
    arranged to support the new developments?
  • Are details arranged in descending order of
    importance?
  • e.g. summarize the main point prior to listing
    the specific examplesespecially important when
    many background studies exist

87
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
When revising, think of the inverted pyramid
88
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Checklist for a polished story
  • Do any scientific terms need defining or
    clarification?
  • Is the language as straightforward and energetic
    as you can make it?
  • Are there dead weight words or phrases?
  • Have you used the passive voice unnecessarily?
  • Is sentence structure needlessly complex?
  • Is tense consistent throughout?
  • Does every paragraph have a purpose?
  • Is the overall organization as logical as you can
    make it?
  • Are there any inconsistencies?
  • Does it read like a story? Or are you bored to
    tears reading it?

89
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Developing your voice as a writer
  • Recall the things you can do to become a better
    writer
  • Read, pay attention, and imitate.
  • Let go of academic writing habits
    (deprogramming step!)
  • Talk about your research before trying to write
    about it.
  • Develop a thesaurus habit. Search for the right
    word rather than settling for any old word.
  • Respect your audiencetry not to bore them!
  • Stop waiting for inspiration.
  • Accept that writing is hard for everyone.
  • Revise. Nobody gets it perfect on the first try.
  • Learn how to cut ruthlessly. Never become too
    attached to your words.
  • Find a good editor!

90
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Developing your voice as a writer
  • take risks
  • read your work out loud
  • read your work to a friend
  • work with a good editor
  • write in a journal
  • use the thesaurus
  • read a variety of sources and voices
  • write as if you are telling a story to a friend

91
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • A final note on writing
  • Save often and back up your files!

92
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • And finally
  • This weeks Top 5 countdown
  • Grammar rules to follow

93
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Use a comma before every (even the last) and or
    or in a series of three or more items.
  • RIGHT the cats, the dogs, and the fish
  • WRONG the cats, the dogs and the fish

94
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • In a list, use commas to separate three or more
    items that do not have internal commas use
    semicolons to separate three or more elements
    that do have internal commas.
  • He said this about your cat shes loud, like a
    dog shes fast, like a cheetah and shes aloof,
    like a woman.
  • He said this about your cat shes loud, fast,
    and aloof.

95
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Use a hyphen in all self compounds or in
    compounds in which the base word is capitalized,
    a number, or an abbreviation
  • self-employed
  • self-starter
  • pro-Clinton
  • pre-1990
  • pre-AIDS

96
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • Do not use hyphens in compounds using an adverb
    ending in ly or in compounds using a
    comparative or superlative adjective
  • widely believed fallacy
  • previously reported study
  • better informed man
  • best dressed man

97
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
  • More examples, hyphenation
  • The man is well known.
  • ButHe is a well-known man.
  • But again He is an exceptionally well known
    man.
  • The man stood 10 feet tall.
  • ButHe is a 10-foot tall man.
  • The project seemed ill fated.
  • ButIt was an ill-fated project.
  • The scientists proceeded step by step.
  • ButThey followed step-by-step instructions.

98
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Grammar rules to
follow
  • Write out integers from 1 to 9 (inclusive) unless
    they represent precise measurements or are being
    compared with numbers greater than 10. Write out
    numbers ?10 if they begin a sentence.
  • She ate five ducks for dinner.
  • The duck weighed 5.2 pounds.
  • The ducks beak measured 3 inches.
  • The duck weighed 5 pounds but the dog weighed 50.
  • Fifty-five ducks were in the pond.

99
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Homework
  • Read
  • Read chapters 13-16 of Sin and Syntax (pp.
    197-finish)
  • Read Chapter 5 of Successful Scientific Writing
  • Letter to the Editor assignment
  • Draft a Letter to the Editor regarding an article
    in your discipline. Follow journal guidelines for
    the Letter.

100
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Preview to next time
  • Now we begin with scientific writing

101
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Style guidelines
  • Write with a specific journal in mind and follow
    their on-line style guidelines

102
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Verb tense for
scientific papers
  • Use the active voice.
  • Possible exceptions within Methods and when
    the subject is unknown.
  • Use the past tense for an action or a condition
    that occurred at a specific, definite time in the
    past
  • e.g., Smith et al. showed the same results.
  • Use the present tense when discussing opinions or
    positions by authors cited in your literature
    review (e.g., Smith asserts).
  • except if the source has been dead for a long
    time (e.g., Mendel believed).
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