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R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Find out what it means to me

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Find out what it means to me Maintaining Positive Relationships with Students 2009-2010 New York State Education Department Driver and Attendant ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Find out what it means to me


1
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.Find out what it means to me
  • Maintaining Positive Relationships with Students
  • 2009-2010 New York State Education Department
    Driver and Attendant Refresher

2
New York We have a problem.
  • In many school systems, the school bus is a
    traveling moral jungle. Peer cruelty, bad
    language, and even sexual acting-out are
    increasingly common. Little kids get nervous
    stomachs about riding the bus in the morning and
    dread getting back on it for the ride home. Some
    parents say that one of the reasons they home
    school is to spare their child the anxiety of
    riding the school bus.

3
Vicious Cycle
4
Key points for today
  • Identifying your attitudes about students
  • Emotional safety
  • Importance of relationships
  • Trust
  • Mending relationships
  • Effective interaction styles
  • Student self-management

5
My style is
  • Complete Personal Style Inventory

6
Kids Today
  • What words would you use to describe kids today?

7
Kids Today
  • What words would
    you use to describe
    kids today?
  • Are these words
    that that show respect?
  • Parties to intense
    intractable conflicts often demonize the other
    -- developing "enemy images," or even
    dehumanizing the other side.

8
Todays normal Every day
  • 2 mothers die from complications of pregnancy or
    childbirth.
  • 4 children are killed by abuse or neglect.
  • 5 children or teens commit suicide.
  • 8 children or teens are killed by firearms.
  • 32 children or teens die from accidents.
  • 78 babies die before their first birthdays.
  • 155 children are arrested for violent crimes.
  • 296 children are arrested for drug crimes.
  • 928 babies are born at low birthweight.
  • 1,154 babies are born to teen mothers.
  • 1,511 public school students are corporally
    punished.
  • 2,145 babies are born without health insurance.
  • 2,467 high school students drop out.
  • 2,421 children are confirmed as abused or
    neglected.
  • 2,483 babies are born into poverty. 
  • 3,477 children are arrested.
  • 18,221 public school students are suspended.

9
Safe School is(just listen)
  • Certainly safety is an issue whenever violence
    occurs. But its also an issue for the student
    who is terrified of being called on to give an
    oral presentation to the class, the kid
    anticipating being harassed or attacked on the
    playground (or bus), or the child who knows that
    at the end of the school day leads back to a
    unstable of violent home. Its an issue for kids
    who dont test well, for kids who learn best by
    touching and moving, and for kids whose strengths
    lie in areas the school neither assess nor value.
    Its an issue for the child who nobody notices,
    the child nobody will play with, the child who
    camouflages inadequacy with a string of
    achievements. Its an issue for non-linear
    thinkers and for students who look different.

10
Safe School is
  • Certainly safety is an issue whenever violence
    occurs. But its also an issue for the student
    who is terrified of being called on to give an
    oral presentation to the class, the kid
    anticipating being harassed or attacked on the
    playground (or bus), or the child who knows that
    at the end of the school day leads back to a
    unstable of violent home. Its an issue for kids
    who dont test well, for kids who learn best by
    touching and moving, and for kids whose strengths
    lie in areas the school neither assess nor value.
    Its an issue for the child who nobody notices,
    the child nobody will play with, the child who
    camouflages inadequacy with a string of
    achievements. Its an issue for non-linear
    thinkers and for students who look different.

What factors can make children feel unsafe on
your school bus?
11
What traditional tools do we have?
  • Student Discipline
  • Student Management
  • Student Control
  • Student Punishment
  • My way or the highway

12
R-E-S-P-E-C-T Maintaining Positive Relationships
through Respect
  • Student Discipline
  • Student Management
  • Student Control
  • Student Manipulation
  • My way or the highway
  • Respect
  • Creating positive student relationships
  • Student self-management

13
Basic Principles
  • Friendly
  • Consistent
  • Fair
  • Safe (Physically/Emotionally)
  • Understand the norms
  • Age appropriate
  • Ability appropriate
  • Culturally appropriate

14
We know why its so difficult!
  • Students sit facing forward and can only see the
    back of the heads of others.
  • The adult in charge is not looking directly at
    the students.
  • Driver is farthest away from the students most
    likely to act inappropriately.
  • The noise level on the bus is very loud.

15
We know why its so difficult!
  • The school bus is self-contained with no visible
    connection to either school or home.
  • The school bus is a cramped space.
  • Usually only overt actions like hitting or
    kicking get noticed by a school bus driver.
  • Problems that go undetected usually escalate in
    the damage that they do.

16
Long-running conflictlisten
  • People on opposite sides of a long-running
    conflict tend to avoid each other, or be watchful
    when the other is around. Information is no
    longer shared that which is shared is no longer
    trusted. The longer the conflict has lasted, the
    more the hostility and distrust becomes
    identified as the "normal" relationship, and the
    harder it is to re-establish the openness and
    trust that existed before the conflict started.

17
Long-running conflict
  • People on opposite sides of a long-running
    conflict tend to avoid each other, or be watchful
    when the other is around. Information is no
    longer shared that which is shared is no longer
    trusted. The longer the conflict has lasted, the
    more the hostility and distrust becomes
    identified as the "normal" relationship, and the
    harder it is to re-establish the openness and
    trust that existed before the conflict started.

Who trusts who on your bus? Who distrusts who?
18
Relationship Rescue
  • If you expect to seriously rescue you
    relationship, You have to get real about You.
    And when I say real, I mean 100, drop-dead, no
    kidding real. No defensiveness, no denialtotal
    honesty. Get
    argumentative, be
    rigid, be defensive and
    hardheaded, and you
    will lose for
    sure.
  • Dr. Phil

19
Relationship Dos and Donts
  • DO
  • DO NOT
  • Be patient
  • Be humble
  • Be accountable
  • Be specific
  • Be open
  • Describe the behavior and the outcome.
  • Dr. Phil
  • Push too hard
  • Come across as a
    know-it-all
  • Be judgmental
  • Take their bait if provided
  • Hide anything
  • Use students as a negative example

20
Rules of Engagement
  • Take it private and keep it private
  • Keep it relevant
  • Keep it real
  • Remain task-oriented
  • Allow student to retreat with dignity
  • Be proportional in your intensity
  • Dr. Phil

21
Powering Approach Bully
  • Because I said so.
  • Get in your seat this minute.
  • You look like you just rolled out of bed.
  • If you dont do what I want I will punish you.
  • Im the boss here.
  • I know whats best for you.

Bus staff needs
Stu-dent needs
Overshadows
WIN
LOSE
22
Permissive Approach Martyr
  • Im so sick of putting up with you kids.
  • Oh forget it.
  • Its easier if I do it myself.
  • Well, OK. Just this once.
  • Whats your excuse?

Overshadows
WIN
LOSE
23
Cooperative Approach Proactive
  • I will turn on the radio as soon as everyone is
    in their seats.
  • Move your feet out of the aisle so students wont
    trip as they leave.
  • Please talk quietly so that I can drive safely.
  • You two can sit together as soon as you have a
    plan to sit quietly.

Bus staff needs
Stu-dent needs
Considers
WIN
WIN
24
WINWIN BusJust listen
  • A win-win bus is characterized by clear and
    specific limits with opportunities to make
    choices and experience power within those limits.
    Each student is encouraged to be responsible for
    their own behavior and consequences are tied to
    the choices that each individual makes. The bus
    driver and attendant are on the same side as the
    students and the students know it. Everyone's
    needs and feelings are values, and, although it
    may frequently be impossible for everyone to win,
    there is usually room for flexibility,
    negotiation, and compromise.

25
WINWIN Bus
  • A win-win bus is characterized by clear and
    specific limits with opportunities to make
    choices and experience power within those limits.
    Each student is encouraged to be responsible for
    their own behavior and consequences are tied to
    the choices that each individual makes. The bus
    driver and attendant are on the same side as the
    students and the students know it. Everyone's
    needs and feelings are values, and, although it
    may frequently be impossible for everyone to win,
    there is usually room for flexibility,
    negotiation, and compromise.

What activities are open for negotiation on a
cooperative school bus?
26
What is student self-management?
  • Within limits, students have opportunities to
    make decisions and act independently.
  • Students experience non-life-threatening
    consequences of poor choosing.
  • Consequences are often removal (immediate) of
    privilege until self-correction has occurred.

27
What is student self-management?
  • Recognition of cooperation without linking it to
    student worth.
  • Decision-making students problem-solve in an
    emergency situation.
  • Bus staff seeks assistance in hard-to-build
    relationships.

28
Where to start?
1
  • First Day Objectives
  • First Month Objectives
  • Introduce yourself to stu-dents as they get on
    the bus.
  • Let each child know you are glad they are riding
    your bus.
  • Explain that you want them to feel and be safe on
    the bus every day.
  • Explain district behavior policies and procedures
    clearly (in afternoon).
  • Ask them to come to you if they have any bus
    problems.
  • Learn the names of your students (really).
  • Get a sense of the route as a whole and learn
    where you might need to do some
    relationship-building.
  • Get to know the school administrative staff.
  • Get to know any parents that are at bus stops.
  • Contact parents if policy allows.

29
Key points for today
  • Identifying your attitudes about students
  • Emotional safety
  • Importance of relationships
  • Trust
  • Mending relationships
  • Effective interaction styles
  • Student self-management

30
Whats the payoff?
  • One positive thing about our bus this year is
    that kids let other kids sit in seats without
    giving them a hard time. I feel safe on our bus
    and I hope I always feel this way. - Tyrone
  • Respect ?
  • Returned Respect ?
  • Relationships ?
  • Self-managed students ?
  • A safe bus environment ?
  • A safe bus to drive ?
  • Job satisfaction
  • Thanks for the job you do.
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