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The Psychology of Dying

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The Psychology of Dying ... Death of a Sibling greater chance of healing if parents remain in their lives parents grieve openly parental grief is shared siblings ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: The Psychology of Dying


1
The Psychology of Dying
2
Kubler-Ross
  • 5 stages
  • 1) Denial (and Isolation)
  • the defense mechanism by which a person is
    unable or refuses to see things as they are
    because such facts are threatening to the self
  • 2) Anger
  • blame directed toward another person
  • 3) Bargaining
  • 4) Depression
  • 5) Acceptance

3
William Worden
  • 4 Tasks of Mourning
  • Task One To Accept the Reality of the Loss
  • Task Two To Experience the Pain of Grief and to
    Express the Emotions Associated With It
  • Task Three To Adjust to an Environment in Which
    the Deceased is Missing
  • Task Four To Emotionally Relocate the Deceased
    or Other Changed Condition and Move On With Life

4
Lofland
  • dying scripts
  • Elements
  • Space
  • Population
  • Knowledge
  • Stance

5
Em. M. Pattison
  • 3 phases of the dying process
  • 1) acute crisis phase
  • 2) chronic living-dying phase
  • 3) terminal phase

6
A. Weisman
  • 3 degrees of denial
  • 1) the person denies the facts
  • 2) the person accepts the diagnosis but refuses
    to believe that it is terminal
  • 3) person vacillates beween open acknowledgement
    of death and its repudiation

7
Glaser and Strauss
  • 4 contexts of awareness
  • 1) closed awareness
  • 2) suspicion
  • 3) mutual pretense
  • 4) open awareness

8
Duties of the Dying
  • 1) arrange a variety of affairs
  • 2) adapt to the loss of loved ones and self
  • 3) manage medical needs and balance emotions
  • 4) plan for future loss
  • 5) identify and cope with the death encounter

9
Role of the FD With the Dying
  • Prerequisites for the FD
  • 1) acknowledge ones mortality
  • 2) understand the grief process
  • 3) effective listening and appropriate response
  • 4) commitment to the dying
  • 5) knowledge of personal limits

10
Social Responses to Death
  • variety of socialization processes
  • demographic norms
  • Preindustrial high mortality rates
  • small, tightly integrated communities
  • Postindustrial drop in mortality rates
  • death is distanced, sanitized

11
Death of a Parent
  • natural event
  • unfinished emotional business
  • little/no allowance for untimely, violent, or
    unexpected death
  • allow the adult child to express the feelings of
    loss
  • support groups

12
Death of a Spouse
  • secondary losses
  • social issues
  • support groups

13
Death of a Child
  • parents and siblings arent the only ones who
    mourn the loss of a child, but the parental grief
    response is the most complex
  • friends may avoid the parents
  • service guilt, survivors guilt

14
Guilt
  • Composed of
  • Regrets
  • Misgivings
  • Unresolved past conflicts with the child
  • Every aspect of the relationship and childcare

15
Secondary Losses
  • child may have filled a gap
  • child as well as friend
  • sense of status/self-esteem/purpose
  • continued guilt can give rise to complications
  • changed identity
  • camily structure is altered

16
Parental Anger
  • feel that core identities have been ripped out
  • world no longer makes sense
  • rage at those perceived to have a role in the
    death
  • feelings of betrayal
  • anger directed toward survivors

17
Coping With Other People
  • Need to be aware that there are people in their
    lives from whom they will never get the support
    they would have expected or desire.

18
Parental Fear
  • Fear of losing other children or any close person
    causes bereaved parents to overprotect.

19
New Me in a New World
  • The image of the child exists within but is no
    longer physically available as an external
    reality.
  • Create a new internal picture of who they are in
    the outside world.
  • Their loss and grief accompany them everywhere
    they go.

20
Painful Reminders
  • seasonal reminders
  • unexpected moments
  • continual acknowledgment of the child at family
    events
  • can still feel connected

21
Linking Objects and Continuing Bonds
  • helps maintain continuity of a relationship
  • provide support for grieving parents

22
FD Responsibilities
  • reinforce that their feelings are acceptable and
    normal
  • point out to them societys inability to
    comprehend their loss
  • well-meaning peoples comments
  • create an atmosphere of security, comfort and
    accessibility

23
High Divorce Rate Myth
  • 1999 72 still married
  • 28 16 ended due to death of
    spouse
  • 12 ended in divorce
  • Grieving parents do experience some marital
    strain and have to make readjustments in their
    marriages.

24
Death of a Sibling
  • greater chance of healing if parents remain in
    their lives
  • parents grieve openly
  • parental grief is shared
  • siblings may experience shame or embarrassment
  • preteens and teens are particularly sensitive

25
Replacement Expectations
  • parents may inappropriately place expectations on
    children
  • parents may consciously or unwittingly
    communicate that surviving children take on the
    dead siblings role
  • parents may deify the dead child
  • parents may focus on the dead child to the
    exclusion of the surviving siblings

26
Surviving Adult Siblings
  • least acknowledged by society
  • facing the death of someone in their own
    generation..personal confrontation with their
    own mortality
  • FD should be available to them

27
Implications for Funeral Directors
  • 1) societys perception of the death may not
    track with the individuals response
  • 2) be sensitive to conflict between what is
    expected and what they feel
  • 3) provide information about resources
  • 4) small library of books, tapes etc.
  • 5) provide clear, complete and accurate
    communication
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